接生公（2015）

Oi, pillock, what's your problem?
哎 傻♥逼♥ 你有毛病啊
My problem? Yeah!
我有毛病 对
If I'm standing on a zebra, what does that mean?
我站在斑马线上 懂这是啥意思么
It means you're a circus act. Ten miles an hour.
你在进行马戏表演吗 限速10迈
My car will not go that slow, mate
我的车开不了那么慢 兄弟
It's got an engine in it, yeah?
它有引擎的 明白么
I'm not Fred Flintstone. Don't push me.
我又不是Fred Flintstone 别撞我
Oh, yeah? I'm your worst nightmare. Are you?
咋的 我就是你噩梦了 是吗
What, you're a sarcastic rabbit?
你真身难道是一只嘲讽兔子么
What? My worst nightmare.
啥 我最可怕的噩梦
It talks to me, it's very patronising.
它跟我说话 还一副自视甚高的样子
That's a girl's nightmare! You're facing a charge of speeding
姑娘才做这种噩梦呢 我指控你超速
and possible assault. Is it a citizen's arrest?
和人身攻击 你要进行平民逮捕吗
I've got an ex-colleague who can take care of it.
我以前的同事可是能抓你的
A dead lollipop lady?
没命了的交通安全大妈么
I used to be a police officer, actually. Did you? Yeah.
我之前可是警♥察♥ 是嘛 对
What are you now? Now I'm a...
你现在干啥了 现在我在
I'm a... Something more serious here at the hospital.
在这的医院里干一份更正经的工作
Serious-er than a sarcastic rabbit?
比嘲讽兔子还正经么
All right. All right, mate, hold on. Hold on!
你等着 好 兄弟 等会儿 不行嘛
Yeah, Ian? Hello, mate.
喂 Ian 嗨 伙计
License plate Echo, Four, Tango Tango, mango, bango!
车牌号♥E4T T你个头啊
Mike, Three, Four, Tango. And show no mercy.
M34T 下手狠一点
Salad! To be clear, don't kill him.
做梦去吧 不过你别杀了他啊
Not a problem, Matthew.
没问题 Matthew
Right, you, it's your lucky day. I've got bigger fish to fry.
今天你运气好 我有更要紧的事办
Let me tell you,
我跟你说
pickpocketing is second only to murder in my books.
除了谋杀 我最痛恨的就是扒窃
All right? Now do one.
懂了没 滚吧 别再偷了
Right.
搞定
Where's my phone?
我手♥机♥呢
Hey!
嗨
Hey!
喂
You're going the wrong way again.
你又搞错方向了
It's room five. Yes. Erm... Er... I...
是5号♥房♥间 哦对 我
Do you want me to write it down for you? Room five.
你要我给你写下来么 5号♥房♥
I'll take those.
花我拿走了
Stupid, stupid, stupid, tiny man.
太傻了 太傻了 蠢哭了这男的
OK, I'm assuming that's your ex-husband. Unless it's Louis Walsh?
我猜你是在说你前夫 除非你是指Louis Walsh
Oh, Lucy, you don't wanna get married, do you?
Lucy 你不会想结婚吧
Obviously I am very flattered and will consider the offer.
我很开心你问我了 我考虑看看
No, not to me, just to anyone. Like your fella, Ryan.
不是跟我结 跟别人 比如Ryan
Ryan and marriage go together like a horse and cabbage.
让Ryan结婚就像让马吃卷心菜
He's not a big fan of children either. Snap.
他也不喜欢孩子 我也是
Spoken like a true midwife
听听你身为助产士说的话
Just because I work in a fish finger factory
即便我在鱼条厂工作
doesn't mean to say I have to like fish fingers.
也不代表我喜欢吃炸鱼条啊
Oooh, I had no idea.
哎 我怎么不知道
What about? About your other job. I don't have another job.
什么 你的另一份工作 我没有别的工作啊
I understand if you want to keep the other job under wraps.
我能理解你想保密
Your secret is safe. It's not a secret.
你的秘密很安全 这不是秘密啦
That's the spirit. Get it out there in the open.
这就对了 说出来没啥大不了
By the way, Mrs Edward and I are very partial to a fish finger.
对了 我跟我老婆都很喜欢鱼条(指交)
Or 12, if you know what I mean?
还有口♥交♥ 你懂的
Ball's in your court.
该你保密了
Been on the gas and air.
笑氧吸嗨了吧
What took you so long? I'm here for you now.
你怎么这么久才来 这不是来了么
Well do something then! Rub my back.
那就干点活啊 给我揉背
No, wait! Get me ice.
不 等下 给我拿冰来
I need ice. No, wait! My feet, rub my feet.
我要冰 不 等下 我的脚 给我揉脚
Don't touch me! Ooh, everything OK?
别摸我 呃 一切还好吗
Yes, fine.
还不错
I don't think we need a porter at the moment, thank you.
我们现在还用不着护工 谢谢
He's not a porter, he is our midwife.
他不是护工 他是我们的助产士
You would have met him
要不是你非要接那个紧急电♥话♥
if you hadn't had to take that urgent call.
你就已经见过他了
I told you, honey, it was work. Don't you 'honey' me.
亲爱的 我说了是工作 你别想哄我
You are a complete waste of space!
你在这简直就是浪费空间
OK, let's calm down, shall we?
好了 咱们冷静点 好吗
I'll just have a little feel.
我来感觉一下宝宝
Would you miss your wife giving birth
你会错过你老婆分娩吗
because of work? Probably not.
因为工作的事 大概不会
Well, you wouldn't be a midwife? No, I suppose.
你不去帮你老婆接生吗 应该会吧
What if you had a different work? Actually I did used to be
要是你干的是别的工作呢 其实 我以前确实
Your wife might think work was important.
你老婆可能会觉得工作是重要的
I don't have a wife.
我没有老婆
You said you did. No I said that
你说你有 不是 我是说
You said you wouldn't miss her giving birth.
你说你不会错过她分娩的
I thought we were doing a hypothetical thing.
我以为我们是在假设来着
Look, the main thing is I'm here now.
重要的是 我现在不是来了么
Although I do just have to take this one.
虽然我现在真得接这个电♥话♥
Seriously. Excuse me if I don't show you to the door. I'm sorry.
不是吧 请原谅我不送你了 对不起
Can you hold the fort? Yes, certainly. Which bit's the fort?
你能应付这里吗(支撑毯子堡垒) 没问题 支撑哪个角
Hm? Nothing.
什么 没事儿
What does that say? Five. One.
那儿写的啥 5号♥ 1号♥
It looks a bit... like a five. No, it doesn't.
看着有点 像5 一点都不像好么
I've got number dyslexia. I'm 50% number blind.
我有数字阅读障碍 百分之五十的数盲
10%... number... blind. Room five.
不对 百分之十 5号♥房♥间
Do you need a Sat Nav?
你需要卫星导航么
We have a wandering father.
我们有个迷路老爹在这
I may need to put a label round his neck.
我可能得在他脖上挂个牌子
Brilliant, Ryan's had an argument with some guy
这下好了 Ryan把我送来之后
after he dropped me off.
跟一个人吵起来了
You need some muscle? I think he'll be fine.
要找人帮忙吗 他应该没事
Thanks, though, Pat. Just say the word.
还是谢谢你 Pat 需要就吱声
I'll crack a few heads.
我能爆几个头
I had two protein shakes for breakfast.
我早上喝了两杯蛋白质饮品呢
Well, what's up?
怎么啦
It's Ryan, her boyfriend, he's been in a fight. Really?
她男朋友Ryan跟别人打起来了 真的
Not a fight, he just had a run-in with some poncey tit
不是打架 就是跟一个娘娘腔
outside the hospital by the zebra crossing.
在医院外面的斑马线吵了一架
Your boyfriend? Mmhm.
你男朋友 嗯
What erm... What did he er...
谁 跟他
What was... what was the erm... Poncey?
什么 什么是 娘娘腔
He said poncey? Yep. What else did he say?
他说了娘娘腔吗 对 还有啥
That the guy was spouting
还说那男的一直在瞎扯
a load of bollocks about reckless driving.
说他开车太莽撞
I wonder if this other guy maybe had a point. What?
我想那个人没准说对了 什么
Hm? No, probably not, you're right.
不 可能不是这样 你没错
I think you have to look
我觉得你可能考虑问题得
at things from every... side of the angle.
考虑的全面一点
Police training, I guess. He's lucky it wasn't the police,
因为警♥察♥训练吧 不是警♥察♥算他走运了
he can't afford another three points on his licence.
他可承受不起再扣三分了
Why, how much does that cost?
为什么 会花多少钱啊
Oh, God, I hate poncey people like that.
天啊 我超烦那种娘娘腔的
Why can't they just get a life? If I could get my hands on him.
敢不敢别那么闲 看让我逮着他的
What would you do? She'd hand him over to Pat.
你会干吗 她会把他交给Pat
I would rip off his poncey little spuds
我会扯碎那娘娘腔的蛋
and then give them back to Pat for one of her protein shakes.
然后交给Pat 让她做成蛋白饮品
Actually, I just need to go and check something.
我得走了 要去检查几样东西
Yes, Melanie. Yes, yeah.
好的 Melanie 好的
I know. They had a lot of work to tell me!
我知道 他们有很多工作的事要告诉我嘛
Alice. Well, of course I remembered your banana.
Alice 我当然记得你的香蕉
Hello... Yes, Melanie. You still in pain?
嗨 好的 Melanie 你还疼呢
I'll... I'll be there... there in a jiffy.
我 我会过去的 这就到
I love you. Yeah. I love you.
我爱你 对 我爱你
Bye. Sorry, can't use one of those in here. Let alone two.
拜 抱歉 此处禁用手♥机♥ 一个都不行
Yes, of course. Right You might wanna get back to the fort. Yep.
当然 你可能要回去守着堡垒了 对
She's not far to go now.
她快要生产了
It's er... Thank you.
是 呃 谢谢