外星也难民

然后你觉得我会把他们变成浓汤或其他鬼玩意儿
and you think I'm gonna turn them into chowda or some shit.
但实话告诉你吧 孩子 我爱波士顿
But joke's on you, kid, because I love Boston.

这也是为什么我把“我家买♥♥了动物园马特·达蒙"纹在了嘴里
That's why I got a We Bought a Zoo Matt Damon tattoo inside my lip!
放马过来吧 杰西 让我看看你的本事
So start her up, Jesse. Gimme your worst!
你知道《速度与激♥情♥10:全速狂野》
Did you hear what happened at the end
最后怎么了吗
of Fast and Furious 10: 10 Fast, 10 Furious?
啊 拒绝剧透 停车
- Ahh. No spoilers! Stop the car!
保持冷静 正确表达
Stay calm and use your words.
我听说范尼·迪塞尔偷了航♥天♥飞机
- I heard Vinnie Diesel steals the Space Shuttle.
把你的臭嘴给我闭上
- Remove your mouths from your faces!
我简直不敢相信他们杀了...
- I couldn't believe they killed - -
我要把整个半球所有的唐恩都乐的甜甜圈都毁掉
- I will burn every last Dunkin Donuts in this hemisphere,
去死吧你们这些黑心剧透佬
you Guinness -blooded dem -apple havers!
行吧 这次真的很简单
Okay, we're gonna make this real simple.
只需要看菜单点菜就行
Just order from the menu.
我要一份烤奶酪...谢谢
- I'd like a grilled cheese... please.
就是这样
That's the ticket!
您是需要马苏里拉奶酪 美武奶酪 还是波罗夫洛干酪
- Would you like mozzarella, American, provolone - -
你为什么这样
- Why would you do that?
拜托 切达干酪怎么能不在三
- Come on! Cheddar wasn't even in their top three!
老天 这层是监狱
Jesus. This was the prison level.
还能看见墙上的计数标记
You can still see the tally marks on the walls.
哦天 这个家伙只坚持了一天
Oh god, this guy only made it one day.
真可怜
That's depressing.
没错 这里是爵爷时代的监狱
- Well, prisons in the time of The Duke, yeah.
但现在 这是我们的家
But now, it's home.
来吧 你们一定饿了
Come on! You must be starving.
我们到底在干嘛
- What the hell are we doing?
需要我提醒你上次带我们走的人
Do I need to remind you that the last people we followed
吃掉了乔·桑德斯吗
ate Joe Sanders?
伙计 这可是守门人 最早来到墙里的人养
- Dude. That's the Janitor. He was one of the first people in the Wall.
所以呢
- So?
所以 他肯定知道怎么击退蚊子
- So, he must know how to stop the mosquitoes.
我们的目的达成了 电源已开启 回家吧
- We did what we came to do. The power is on. Let's go home.
然后每晚哄宝宝入睡
- And put my baby to sleep every night
看着垃圾箱里的吸血虫随时会把她吸干吗
knowing that at any second a dumpster Dracula could suck her dry?
他妈的 谁知道到底有多少吸血虫
Fuck that. Who knows how many there are?
现在你们脚边大概有十只
- Well, there's about ten by your feet right now.
怎样才能杀光他们
- How do we kill them all?
杀不完的 跟我来 告诉你为什么
- You can't. I'll show you why.
别进去 绝对不行
- Hell no. Absolutely not.
没人在乎我是吧
No goddamn respect.
没人听我的 该死的虫子还吐在我身上.…
No one listens, fucking bugs spittin' on me and shit - -
所以.….我们怎么样
- So... How'd we do?
你们都失败了
- You all failed miserably!
呃 说清楚点
- Uh, recount much?
你们没有一个人考虑别人的感受
- Not one of you thought about another person's feelings!
《天观》杂♥志♥的评审马上就到了
The Parade Magazine judges will be here in a few hours!
管他呢 谁在乎有没有被邀请
- Whatever. Who cares if we're not invited.
要我说直接去跟这些蠢货抢镜得了
I say we photobomb these losers.
很难不支持
- Hard agree.
我觉得应把每个不尊重我们的人都变成拍立得
What if we turn everyone who was shitting on us into actual Polaroids?
你们让我没得选了
- You leave me no choice.
我要启用芋头·奈哲顿计划
I invoke Taro Nedgerton!
你要放逐我们吗
- You're banishing us?
失乐邦人一生只能用一次芋头·奈哲顿
- A Shlorpian can only invoke Taro Nedgerton once in a lifetime.
你不能随随便便就启用
You can't just willy -nilly invoke Taro Nedgerton.
我们降落的第一天就用过了 现在不行了
- We did it the first day we landed and now we can't invoke shite.
我要启用
- I invoke!
别这样 杰西 求你了
Don't do this, Jesse! Please!
放逐的失乐邦人必须
Banished Shlorpians must remain
在洗♥脑♥房♥里待上一个完整的太阳周期
in the brainwashing room for a full solar cycle.
一年吗
- A year?
或者你们这群混♥蛋♥学会共情就能走
Or until you assholes learn empathy.
一整年
- A year?
同理心教育程序启动 三二...
AISHA: Commencing sympathy re -education in three, two - -
小狗和水濑怎么能成为朋友
Why is a puppy friends with an otter?
他们连生活环境都不一样
They don't share a habitat!
彩虹 在灼烧我的眼睛
The rainbows! They burn my eyes!
现在镇上的每个人都能做自己了
- Now everyone in town can be who they want
科技再也不会扰乱他们的生活咯
without sci -fi messing up their life.
好了 看起来结束了
TERRY: Okay, I think it's over - -
不 婴儿们发现了泡泡
Oh no. Babies discovering bubbles!
老天 别 马洛 马洛 快回来
- Oh god no. Marlo! Marlo, get back here!
别去外星人房♥子那边
Not the aliens' house.
去哪儿都行 别去那
Anywhere but the aliens' house!
草 草 草 老天 老天 老天啊
Shit, shit, shit. Oh god, oh god, oh god.
你好啊 邻居
- Hi there, neighbs!
老天 十分抱歉 狗绳松了 求你别告诉酷佛 我的天啊
- Oh god, I'm sorry! The leash slipped. Please don't tell Korvo. Oh god.
你不必再因我的家人担惊受怕了
- You don't have to worry about my family anymore.
他们都被关了 起来过得愉快
They're all hella locked up. Have a fun day!
嘿 记得去年把我变成小熊软糖的混♥蛋♥们吗
- Hey! Remember those dicks who turned me into a gummy bear last year?
准确来说是瑞士小鱼软糖
- It was technically a Swedish Fish.
我还想操你的软糖屁屁来着
I tried to bone you in the gummy butt.
算我人生中第二疯狂的恐怖袭击了
It was the second craziest 9 -11 of my life.
反正 他们都被关起来了 我们又能做混子了
- Well, they're all locked up! We can be jerks again!
混子
Jeeerks!
混子
- Jeeerks!
混子
Jeeerks!
混 混 混 混 混
- Jerk! Jerk! Jerk! Jerk! Jerk!
混喔
Jerks!
混 混 混 混子
- Jerk! Jerk! Jerk! Jeeerks!
一般来说 我喜欢吃鸡腿肉
- Now generally, I'm a dark meat guy.
但你们估计会喜欢这甜甜的黄虫肉的
But when it comes to skeetos, you want that sweet yellow meat.
所以你差不多是《大白鲨》里昆特那种人 只不过你是猎虫达人
- So you're kinda like Quint from Jaws, but for bugs?
嘿 正是我追求的
- Hey, that's what I'm going for.
我已经厌倦了用雅咩莱给我们的
I got bored making diaphragms
羊皮残渣制♥作♥膈膜
out of the lambskin scraps Yumyulack gives us.
所以现在我来下层抓虫子
So now I come down to the lower levels, catch a bug,
然后把肉拿到地上的市场去卖♥♥
go back up, sell its meat at the meat market.
一直以来 你们都以为自己在吃火鸡肉干
All this time, you thought you were eating turkey jerky.
但那其实是A级蚊子肉
But no, that is grade -A mosquito.
唔 这确实不错
- Mm. This is good.
蚊子的每一处都大有用处
- Gotta use all parts of the skee -buffalo.
胸制成肉排 翅膀制成网
Steaks from the thorax. Netting from the wings.
看看这个 你们敢信这个帽子
Check this out: Would you believe this hat
其实是蚊子脑袋吗
used to be a mosquito's head?
我们不能和大自然对抗 我们得学会与之共存
You can't fight nature. You gotta learn to live with it.
我一直认为人性的本质就是抗争
- I really think the point of all humanity is that you don't.
从初代墙国开始 我什么没经历过
- Take it from a First Gen Wallian. I've seen it all.
从口香糖时代到蒂姆时代
We went from gum boys to the Tim era.
现在好不容易有了蚊子的丰富蛋白质
Now we're blessed with mosquito protein.
这些恶心的怪物才是我们的未来
These disgusting monsters are our future.
这才是我们摆脱
This is how we rid ourselves
对外星人糖果依赖的办法
of our reliance on the aliens' candy.
唔 这吃起来就像刚加热过的冷冻餐
- Mm, this tastes just like a freshly microwaved Bob Evans!
我们得说服国会保护这些虫子
- We gotta convince Parliament to protect these bugs.
这是墙国维持自我和谐的唯一办法了
It's the only way the Wall can be in harmony with itself.
嗯
- Mm.
见鬼 好吧 这确实好吃
Goddammit. Yeah, this is delicious.
啊 我们干得不错 麦蒂
- Ugh. We've had a good run, Maddie.
这个小镇不再需要公民责任管♥理♥员♥了
But this town no longer needs its Civic Responsibility Manager.
不敢相信 我一生的工作就是建造
I can't believe my life's work was to create
世界上第一个混子监测系统
the world's first Jerk Monitoring System,
但现在我却再也用不到它了
and now I'll never get to use it.
既然现在我们即将成为十大宜居城市
But now that we're up for Top Ten Nicest Places to Live,
再也没有混子需要监测了
there are no more jerks to be monitored.
要我拔掉插头吗
- Do you want me to unplug it?
快点儿吧 再多一秒都承受不了
- Please. I can't bear it.
等等