外星也难民

Terry. Should be on your book there. -Terrence. You look great. Love the shirt.
这是羔羊毛的吗 -格拉德
Is that lambswool? -Glady.
你真是一如既往地观察力惊人
You're looking observant as always.
你把家人也带来了 他们真可爱
I see you've brought your family. How lovely.
格拉德威尔先生… -别 叫我格拉德威尔就好
Mr. Gladwell... -Stop. Just Gladwell.
格拉德威尔 你能在我的一万小时射线枪上签名吗
Gladwell, would you sign my 10,000 hours ray?
它能刺♥激♥人学习一万小时是你的那本《异类》给了我灵感
It simulates studying for 10,000 hours, your Outliers book inspired me.
那本书里的主要观点就是如果你花很多时间去做一件事
My key insight was that if you spend a lot of time
那你终究会擅长于此如今这似乎是大家的共识了
on something you can get good at it. Seems like common knowledge now,
但在当时 这是闻所未闻的
but at the time, it was unheard of.
好 你真是个天才 格拉德威尔听我们说 我们来这儿是有事要做
Yeah, genius Gladwell. So listen, there's a reason we're here.
让我猜猜 小泰瑞想取回他的那堆手臂
Let me guess. Terrence needs his arms back.
你真了解我
Damn, he's good.
我带你去我的套房♥取吧
Let's run up to my penthouse and get them.
与此同时 你们想拿这些贵宾票
In the meantime, do the rest of you want VIP tickets
去看游艇里的“马尔科姆·变装秀”演出吗
to see our in-cruise show, Malcolm Dragwell?
其实就是变装皇后配合着录音用唇语读我的书
It's drag queens lip syncing to audio recordings of my book.
好啊 你们去看演出吧我很快就拿着我的胳膊回来
Cool! You guys do that and I'll be right back with my arms.
尽情享受演出吧
Enjoy the show.
《狗的食物与消化剂》作者 马尔科姆·格拉德威尔
你还记得葡萄牙上空的热气球之旅吗
Do you remember that hot air balloon over Portugal?
我们的火热气氛让热气球额外飘高了三十多米
We made that basket so hot that the balloon rose an extra 100 feet.
没错 那年夏天我们在各种飞行器上都做了一遍
Yes. The summer we screwed in every type of dirigible.
记得吗 有次你在那架齐柏林飞艇上让我欲罢不能
Remember when you had me on that zeppelin?
马上要见马尔科姆式变装皇后了我好紧张啊
I am so nervous to meet a Malcolm Dragwell Queen.
我的着装不适合和皇室会面
I'm not dressed for royalty.
我觉得喜欢格拉德威尔的人应该没多到
I find it hard to believe there's enough Gladwell demand
足以形成一种饭圈文化吧
to justify a whole Stan culture.
希望演出里有《决断两秒钟》的段落
I hope there's stuff from Blink in the show.
我超喜欢那本书
I love that book.
它讲的是 有时我们不用思考或学习就知道某些知识
It's about how sometimes we just know stuff without having to think or learn.
我经常有这种感觉
I feel that way constantly.
我去找你的手臂 你帮我倒杯酒
Pour me a drink while I look for your arms.
也给你自己倒一杯吧
Make one for yourself, too.
今天真是忙死我了 你也许能看出来寇佛正在溶化
Ah, been a hell of a day. I don't know if you could tell, but Korvo is melting.
他对此很是敏感 -我的天啊 坐下 仔细说说
He's sensitive about it. -My God. Come, tell me.
等等 停 别想套路我
Hey, hey, hey. No traps.
我不能喝酒 也不能坐在床上
I'm not having a drink or sitting on the bed.
快把我的胳膊…你的头发看起来比平时还夸张
Just give me my... Your hair is looking zanier than normal.
你换发型了吗 还挺可爱的
Are you styling it different? It's cute.
依旧是洗完澡后在飞船上摩擦一下而已
Still just rubbing a balloon on it after showering.
什么 那不是头发 是我的胳膊
What? That's not hair. Those are my arms.
你干了什么 -你把它们扔下 任它们腐烂
What did you do? -You like them to rot.
我给了它们生活的意义 给它们生命它们一直在帮我写书
I gave them purpose. I gave them life. They've been writing my books.
可惜 我催它们写作它们忙得像鼠王一样缠在了一起
Sadly, I've had them so busy scribbling they've fused into some kind of rat king.
这画面太恶心了
That's straight up gross.
如今它们的创造力达到了巅峰
Now, they're more creative than ever before.
我的最新畅销书《谁闻到就是谁放的屁》
My latest bestseller, Thou Who Smelt It Dealt It
就是它们的作品
was their idea.
你不能强迫我的胳膊们写它们自己的放屁灵感
You can't force my arms to write their own fart ideas.
我已经这么做了
I already have.
一个小时前 大卫·瑞姆尼克刚采访过我 抓住他
David Remnick interviewed me an hour ago. Grab him.
前面就是贵宾室吗 先给我一杯朗姆混健怡可乐 谢谢
Is this the way to the VIP room? I'll have a rum and diet to start, please.
糟了 他们要把我们扔进海里
Shit! They're going to throw us into the ocean.
我会被稀释 然后被无数只鱿鱼排泄出去
I'm going to get diluted and excreted through a million disgusting squids.
格拉德威尔知道你们这么做吗
Did Gladwell sign off on this?
贱♥人♥们 见识一下芝加哥杂技队的厉害！
This is how we do it in Chi-raq, biatch!
看我的
Here.
就是这样 贱♥人♥ 踩着我的臭粘液滑向死亡深渊吧
Yeah, bitch. Slip on my stinky goo and drop to your death.
把我舀起来 灌进背包里
Now scoop me up into the backpack.
不停地 卖♥♥东西 销量飞涨
Sales. Always. Big, Big growth.
利润攀升 赚 很多很多钱
Profits, up. Money, yes, yes.
不得了 艾迪你是怎么做到从不上班
Damn, Eddie. How is it that you're never in the office
却打破了我的第二季度销量纪录的
and you just crushed my Q2 sales record?
跟我学着点 哥们
Get on my level. Bro.
好了 大伙 回去工作吧艾迪 你稍等一会
All right, boys, back to work. Eddie, stick around for a second.
给我听好了 你这个混账
Now you listen to me, you son of a bitch.
你也许骗得了其他人但自打第一天 我就盯上你了
You might have everyone else fooled, but I have been onto you since day one.
我知道你身上肯定有什么猫腻
I knew there was something off about you.
虽然我说不出具体是哪里不对劲
I couldn't put my finger on it.
但在你打我女儿主意的那一刻你的目的就暴露无疑了
But you messed up when you made a move on my daughter.
艾迪 我调查了你的身世背景你猜我发现了什么
I did a background check on you, Eddie. You know what I found?
一无所获 你的履历没有造假
Nothing. You are who you say you are.
但这不能改变我对你的看法
But that doesn't change how I feel in my gut.
在我心中 唯一分量能胜过利润的只有我的宝贝女儿
And the only thing I love more than profits is that little girl of mine.
所以 我要给你开一张一千万美元的支票 作为分手费
So, I'm writing you a check for $10,000,000. It's a bribe.
请你离凯蒂远远的
Get out of Katie's life.
那你想要什么？你开个价吧
Then what do you want? What's your price?
你是疯了吗
Are you out of your fucking mind?
凯蒂来电
奶油酥有限责任公♥司♥
别再打自己了 小泰瑞
Ow! Ow! -Stop hitting yourself, Terrence.
这笑话没劲透了 格拉德威尔 -是啊
Cheap joke, Gladwell. -Yes.
但很符合现在的情景能有效证明我的观点
But it was right there and I think I made my point.
你的胳膊如今听我使唤了我下令打你 它们不敢不从
Your arms obey me now. I say hit you, they hit.
我下令写本书 它们就会写出妙不可言的趣事
I say write a book, they type up cherry picked anecdotes
来支持我幼儿园水平的“智慧”见解
to support my nursery school wisdom.
我给你最后一个机会和我一起住在公海上吧
I'll give you one last chance. Live with me on the open seas.
我们做♥爱♥时 你的胳膊帮我写TED演讲稿 这生活多么完美
We'll make love while your arms write my TED Talks. A perfect life.
我也想没日没夜地抚摸你的卷发
If it were up to me, I'd tap that curly shit all day.
但我已经有自己的队伍了
But I've already got a team.
真可惜 那你只能去死了
Pity. Consider your point tipped.
天啊 泰瑞的胳膊缠成了鼠王它们听格拉德威尔指挥
No. Terry's arms formed a rat king and they've sided with Gladwell.
你怎么这么快就弄清形势了
How did you gather that so fast?
因为我还小想象力还没被成年人扼杀
Because I'm young and adulthood hasn't atrophied my imagination.
要命了
Holy shit!
快停下 泰瑞的胳膊
Stop it. Stop it, Terry's arms.
寇佛 他的胳膊在听你指挥
Korvo, his arms. They're listening to you.
我是任务领导者服从我刻在它们的基因里
I'm their mission leader. It's their biological imperative.
泰瑞的胳膊 别犯浑了 -不 泰瑞的胳膊 我是你们的主人
Terry's arms. Stop being dicks. -No, Terry's arms. I'm your leader now.
是我让你们在睡前给我涂润滑油
I'm the one who lets you grease me up before bedtime.
从前你们还长在肩膀上时没做过一件好事
You've never done anything right in your shoulder-girdled lives.
毫无价值 但如今你们有机会改变这一点
You're worthless. But you can change that right now.
和我们回家吧 泰瑞的胳膊们
Come home with us, Terry's arms.
回家吧 -不行 我的事业会毁于一旦的
Come home. -No, my career will be over.
没了泰瑞的胳膊 我就只能去写
Without Terry's arms, all I'll be able to write
我手到擒来 下笔如有神的
is the erotic Luigi's Mansion fan-fic
《路易鬼屋》色情同人小说了我不能回到那种境地
that comes to me so naturally. I can't go back to that.
我绝不会走回头路
I won't go back to that.
嗨 格拉德威尔 我是亚宇雷 -那又怎样
Hey, Gladwell. I'm Yumyulack. -So?
我是这次任务的安全主管所以你个蠢货休想惹事
I'm head of mission security so consider your dumb ass secured.
你对他做了什么 -他会当一万小时的傻子
What did you do to him? -He's 10,000 hours stupider.
我要去写一部关于电子游戏和80年代电影的小说
I'm going to go write a novel about video games and '80's movies.
他会没事的
He'll land on his feet.
如果我也没事就好了 我感觉很糟糕
Oh, man, I wish I had feet. I'm feeling pretty shitty.
寇佛！
Korvo!
我们就快到家了 坚持住 别溶化
Almost home, buddy. Think solid. Stay solid.
哪个疯子会这样开车
Who was that psycho?
点餐取餐处 冰淇淋
嗨
Hey. Ahhh!
爱莎 发射飞船
Aisha, launch the ship.
所有成员到位 发射程序已启动
All crew members present. Launch activated.
飞船启动了 我们真的要离开了
We're doing it. We're actually leaving!
不 别这样 见鬼 不！
No, no, no, no, no, no. No!
不要啊！
No!
这是怎么回事 -由于这些奶油酥中含有大量的铁
What happened? -All ship systems have been compromised
飞船的所有系统都遭到了破坏
by the heavy levels of iron in these puffs.
这些东西是从哪儿来的
Where did they all come from?
这可能怪我 我明明记得我只装了几包
I guess it was me? I only remember packing a couple
想让噗噗在旅途中有它心爱的零食吃
so the Pupa could have favorite snacks for the trip.
你想尽力做好你作为噗噗专家的工作
You were trying to be a better Pupa specialist.
我们可以把飞船清理干净的 寇佛
We can clean this up, Korvo.
你可以口头指导我们修理