外星也难民

Fuck!
这个最好能行 不然我就要做回自己了
This one better work, or it's back to being myself.
特里在这里吗
Is Terry here?
一个绿色外星人 湿漉漉的 很性感 穿着滑稽的T恤？
Green alien? Super-hot and moist? Whimsical T-shirts?
不在 你是我见过的第一个外星人
Nope. You're my first alien.
太好了 如果再有外星人进来 就叫他滚蛋
Yes. If another one comes in, tell him to fuck off.
火车是属于我的爱好 -你确定吗
Trains are mine. -I don't know.
心脏承受能力不好的不适合玩这个
This ain't a hobby for the faint of heart.
我有三颗心脏 -它会占据你的所有时间
I have three hearts. -It'll consume all your time,
让你变得六亲不认 玩物丧志
ostracize you from your friends and take over your life.
别再挑逗我了
Enough foreplay.
我今天就要玩上这个迷你小车厢 需要多少钱
How much to get me into a miniature caboose today?
你是在和你的外星人老公斗气吗
Is this some sort of competitive hobby thing with your alien husband?
还是你真的对火车艺术情有独钟？
Or do you actually care about the locomotive arts?
我有花不完的钱 没一丁点自控力
I have unlimited budget and zero self-control.
这里的小火车任君挑选
Cabooses are right over here.
噗噗身体里竟然有这么大空间
Well, I guess Pupa's bigger on the inside.
真是生物学上的奇迹啊
A real biological marvel, this guy.
这里闻起来就像热狗水
Ugh, it smells like hot dog water.
热狗水不会让噗噗那么难受 你觉得他究竟是吃坏什么了
Hot dog water never backs you up that bad. What do you think he got into?
我怎么知道 又不是我想进来的
I don't know. I don't want to be here.
别再抱怨了 亚宇雷 等我们清理完就能出去了
Don't be a whiner, Yumyulack. We can leave when we're done.
我找到一台华夫饼机
Ugh. I got a waffle maker,
一张鲍勃·马利的黑光海报 还有一个毛毛球
Yuck, one of those blacklight Bob Marley posters, and, oh, a Koosh ball.
我找到了几根胳膊
You know, I got a couple of arms,
一些豆荚 一堆叉子 无数死掉的咕博乐
some pods, a ton of forks and so many dead goobers.
这活要干到下辈子去了
This is gonna take forever.
谢谢你多嘴揽下这个麻烦事啊
Thanks a lot for opening your dumb mouth.
别走啊 你要去哪儿
Come back! Where are you going?
既然已经被困在这里了 我要离你越远越好
If we're stuck here, I want to be as far from you as possible.
等等 那是他的警报装置
Hold it. That's the alarm system.
第五代菲比精灵 它的动作感应器 比五角大楼的还灵敏
Gen five Furby. Motion sensor's better than the Pentagon's.
我有办法
I got this.
一旦踏错一步 触发这玩意
One wrong step, that gizmo triggers
蒂姆的守卫就能听到 它诡异的呻♥吟♥和叫喊
and Tim's guards will hear its moans and creepy phrases.
所以我们才花费数周练习巴西战舞 开始跳舞吧
That's why we spent weeks practicing Capoeira. Let's dance.
《嘟嘟 模型火车发烧友》
《嘟嘟 模型火车发烧友》
《嘟嘟 模型火车发烧友》
途经亚特兰大陷阱音乐博物馆后
And after passing the Atlanta Trap Music Museum,
火车只需五秒 就能抵达泰勒·派瑞工作室
the train takes five seconds to reach the Tyler Perry Studios.
科尔沃 你的模型做得真不错
Korvo, this is amazing train work.
继续努力下去 你就能登上 《嘟嘟》杂♥志♥的封面了
You keep this up and you'll find yourself on the cover of Chugga.
《嘟嘟 模型火车发烧友》
爱莎 你见到我的 露露乐蒙店铺模型了吗
Aisha, have you seen my model Lululemon store?
不得了 科尔沃 我刚检测了 你的幸福指数
Damn. I just scanned your happiness rating,
达到一千万分之八了 这是史上最高的一次
and it's an eight out of ten million. That's the highest it's ever been.
你没事吧 -答案很简单
You okay? -It's simple.
现在我是火车爱好者 我在铁轨上找到了自己的幸福
I'm a train man. I find bliss in the rails.
既然你已经找到自己的爱好了 我们开始清理我排气孔里的氙气吧
Now that you have a hobby, let's get back to cleaning up the xenon in my vents.
想得美 我再也不会修理你了
Yeah, right. I'm never fixing you again.
你眼前的是全新的我 看我的列车长帽 我的露露在这啊
This is who I am now. Look at my conductor hats. My Lulu.
科尔沃 你给我回来
Korvo, get back here.
普通人才不会叫它露露 人类都叫它“乐蒙”
If you were a real basic bitch, you'd call it Lemon.
但实话实说 那顶帽子是挺帅的
But I can't lie. That hat looked good.
感觉不太对劲 -这里就像个垃圾场
Something's wrong. -What a shit hole!
林果在的时候 这地方至少是干净整齐的
At least Ringo kept it tidy up here.
平时这里不是这样的 -有声音
It wasn't always like this. -Shh. I hear voices.
这里还有别人 我们得走了 -不行 我们都已经进到这里了
Someone else is here. We should go. -No way. We've come too far.
雪莉 别这样！ -它绝对是十大最佳专辑之一
Cherie. Don't! -...in the top ten best albums.
我没说要剔除 甲壳虫乐队的哪一张专辑
I'm not saying we remove any Beatles album.
不 等等 我们把肯德里克·拉玛忘了
No, wait, wait. We forgot about Kendrick Lamar.
别用那种口气跟我说话 我是这里的老大
Whoa, whoa. You can't talk to me like that. I'm the boss around here.
如果我说《小鬼当家》的故事
And if I say Home Alone takes place in the same
和《街头俏妞》发生在同一个世界 它们就是同一个世界
cinematic universe as Curly Sue, that's what it's got to be.
他在搞什么 -我不清楚
What the fuck is he doing? -I don't know.
你们不能这样 你们是我的人
...all like this. You're my fucking boys.
那些人已经死了
You know, those guys are dead.
雪莉 真的是你吗
Cherie. Cherie, is it really you?
你没想到会再见到 我这个坏女人吧
Bet you didn't think you'd ever see this bad bitch again.
我经常见到你
I see you all the time.
我们每周都会一起做填字谜
We have a standing date to do the crossword.
第十行 那不勒斯人 记得吗
Neapolitan, ten across, remember?
你还跟我说 你打算开始慢跑
You told me you were gonna get into jogging.
你在说什么 -杀了你我很抱歉
What are you talking about? -I'm sorry I killed you,
但现在我们是鬼魂朋友了
but hey, now we're ghost friends,
就像伊森和我的墙内人 对吧 朋友们
just like Ethan and my Walldermen. Right, guys?
好了 说话文雅点
Hey. Okay, enough sailor talk.
有女士在场呢
There's a lady present.
他觉得我是鬼魂
Uh, he thinks I'm a ghost.
那是什么… -你怎么也变成鬼了
What is that even... -Why are you a ghost?
真不错 我甚至都不用杀你了 你让我的谎话更可信了
Whoa. That's cool. I didn't even have to kill you. You backed up my lie.
蟋蟀那事 还记得吧
The cricket thing, remember?
我再也不想听你那些弥天大谎了
I'm not here to listen to your shit anymore.
你看看他 他好像已经病重了 -见鬼 牙彻底掉光了
Look at him. I think he's really sick. -Man. Running out of teeth.
好渴啊 我要去喝杯水
So thirsty. Gotta have a drink.
等等 -蒂姆 你还记得什么
Wait a minute. -Tim, what do you remember?
我是怎么死的 -天啊 又来了
How did I die? -Oh, boy, here we go again.
你真的很喜欢逼我一遍遍重述啊
She really loves to make me say it.
是我背叛了你 我用牙签捅死了你
I betrayed you. Stabbed you through with a toothpick cane
因为我想一统墙世界 自那之后 我就一直在后悔
because I wanted to rule the Wall, and I've regretted it ever since.
每个夜晚
Every single night.
我都噩梦连连 常年噩梦不断
Nightmares. I'm constantly having nightmares.
他到底怎么了
What the hell happened to him?
我好像知道了 你看 -是汉堡王的杯子导致的？
I think I know. Look. -The Burger King glass?
是老古董了 1983年生产 我小时候有一整套
Vintage, 1983. Had the whole set when I was a kid.
现在已经停产了 -那又怎样 玻璃杯不会让人生病的
They don't sell them anymore. -So? Glass can't make you sick.
有问题的不是玻璃 是图案 那东西含铅 是中国制♥造♥的
Not the glass. The paint. It's lead, made in China.
触碰就会中毒 厂家召回了这批产品 因为有孩子因它生病
They had to recall them 'cause they made kids sick.
正常大小的孩子都会生病 何况蒂姆只有一颗半软糖高
Real sized kids. Tim's only a jelly bean and a half tall.
他至少已经用这东西喝了 一年的水了
He's been drinking out of it for at least a year.
把他坏事做尽的小脑瓜毒傻了 他一周之内就会病死
Cooked his backstabbing little brain. He'll be dead in a week.
太好了 那我们快出去吧 他已经快把自己作死了
Perfect. Let's get out of here. He did our job for us.
我们还是得绑♥架♥他 -为什么 我们的目的已经达到了
We still have to kidnap him. -What? This is what we wanted.
不 我想要的是正义
No, I want justice.
雪莉 别这样 已经可以 坐收渔翁之利 就别再冒险了
Cherie. Come on, take a win when you're handed one.
我要他清醒地见证 我们揭露他阴谋的那一刻
I want him fully cognizant when we expose his ass,
不然没人会相信我们 把毛豆荚给我
or no one will believe us. Give me the edamame pod.
我自己把他偷运出去 -你要救他的命 我不能帮你
I'll smuggle him out. -I'm not helping you save him.
我们做这一切 就是为了铲除他 -浩克 别逼我动手
The whole point was to take him out. -Halk, don't make me do this.
如果我们不揭露那些谎言 就会不停地重蹈覆辙
If we don't expose the lies, this will keep happening.
皮思丽需要生活在基于真♥相♥的墙内 而不是建立在他或你谎言上的世界
Pezlie needs to live in a wall based on truth, not on his lies and not on yours.
你说得对
You're right.
恭喜你长出了一颗良心
Congratulations on growing a conscience.
嘿 朋友们 看我做的迷你露露商店 特里！
Hey, guys, check out this tiny Lulu. Terry!
嘿 老科 你看好了 也可以录下来
Hey, K-dog. Check this out. And feel free to video it
回家学着做 嘟嘟 火车来了 混♥蛋♥们
so you can do it at home. Choo Choo, motha fuckers.
这小伙真酷 -帅呆了
Damn, this guy's cool. -Holy shit.
不 别信他 他讨厌模型火车
No. No. He hates model trains.
不会吧 特里正跟我们讲 他模型小镇的主意呢
Really? 'Cause Terry was just pitching us his model town idea.
你知道《糖果世界》吧 想象一下用柠檬糖做的山
You know, Candyland? Picture mountains of Lemonheads
和用香烟糖做的火车轨道
and train tracks of candy cigarettes.
这太蠢了 而且一点也不现实
That's stupid, and it's not realistic.
和圣诞节做的姜饼屋一样 没有任何技术含量
It's as basic as a Christmas gingerbread house.
我们在邀请特里进入模型火车的世界
We've been encouraging Terry to get into model trains.
人越多就越快乐 对吧 -人越多就越讨厌
The more the merrier. -The more the shittier.
一起玩嘛 科尔沃 能上杂♥志♥封面的爱好多酷啊
Oh, come on, Korvo. Nothing gets me going like a hobby with a magazine.
让我想来… -你敢说蒙太奇试试
Makes me want to... -Don't segue into a montage.
一段蒙太奇
A montage.
嘟嘟 补鞋店 - 杂货店 - 雪茄店
《嘟嘟 模型火车发烧友》
火车王者
你在干什么
What do you think you're doing?
“特警判官”来巨城一号♥度假了
Judge Dredd's on vacation from Mega-City One.