外星也难民

That's the worst thing you can do.
我们应该离开这里 回家
We should just leave and go home.
为什么？我们都来好几个小时了
Why? We've been here hours.
我开始喜欢脚下坚硬人行道的感觉了
I'm starting to like the feeling of hard sidewalk beneath me.
但我们没戏了
But we're fucked.
现在有两条看起来合规的队列了
There are now two legitimate-looking lines.
当员工开始接待大家的时候 他们不知道哪条队列是真的
When employees start letting people in, they won't know which is real.
新的队列里都是专业人士 你看他们的站姿
The new line is all pros. Look at the way they stand.
他们站得很出色
They are standing pretty excellently.
他们的姿势无可挑剔
Their posture is impeccable.
而我们被困在一群没精打采的人群里
We got stuck with a bunch of slouchers.
商店会选那条队的
The store is gonna choose that line.
看着我 这让我很难说出口
Look at me. This is hard for me to say.
我不喜欢恭维人
I don't like to compliment.
你又懒又烦人 -继续
You're lazy and annoying... -Continue.
但你是我见过的最好的排队人员
But you're the best line-stander I've ever seen.
你让这事看起来轻而易举
You make it look easy.
你可以站在这里几个小时 直直地盯着前方
You could stand here hours staring straight ahead,
并且你还很享受这时间
and you'd have the time of your life.
那是进入状态了
It's being in the zone.
记住你喜欢排队的原因
Remember what you loved about lines.
回想一下 在所有的装备 杂♥志♥
Think back, before all the gear, magazines,
和排队的生活方式出现之前
and lifestyle of lines took over.
是啊 我喜欢那时的宁静
Yeah, I loved how peaceful it was.
没错 你不需要莱纳斯 或那些专业人士
Exactly, you don't need Linus or any of those pros.
队列不在这里
The line isn't out here.
而是在你心里 一直就是
It's inside you. Has been all along.
你说得对 天啊 我能做到
You're right, God damn it! I can do this.
嘿 莱纳斯 你这个挖鼻子的家伙
Hey, Linus, you little nose picker.
就像打乒乓球一样
It's on like Ping-Pong.
你会像个愁眉苦脸的小丑一样败北
You're going down like a clown with a frown
会被击毙
who's about to get shot
你干什么呢？
What are you doing?
我不需要这些 我要返璞归真
I don't need this. I'm going back to the basics.
回到我第一次爱上排队时的样子
Back to who I was when I first fell in love with lines.
真是个蠢货 谁会选你那队？
What a sucker. Who would ever pick your line?
特里·奥波西斯会啊
Terry Opposites would.
现在 我们就跳起舞来
And now, we dance.
只是打个比方 否则我们会失去我们的位置
Metaphorically. Or we lose our place in line.
废话
Duh!
好啊 泥浆爬行
Hell yeah. Mud crawling.
这条队在玩
This line is playing.
彩弹游戏？
Paint balls?
我感觉自己就像在玩军事电子游戏
Ha! I feel like I'm in the military video games I play
好让我欺负30多岁的人类
so I can bully humans in their 30s.
终点
恭喜你
Congratulations.
你完成了硬汉泥人比赛
You completed a Tough Fadder Run.
这是一场暴♥力♥的千禧年版的马拉松
It's a violent, millennial version of a marathon.
队列结束了？
So the line is over?
干得好 今天完成了赛事 孩子
Good work completing the course today, son.
天啊
Oh, my God.
我这一整天都以为我在排队呢
All day, I thought I was in a line,
但其实 这是我排过的最棒的队
but really, I was in the best line ever!
这不是排队
It wasn't a line!
等一下
Wait a minute.
她只是问他有没有卫生棉条
She was just asking if he had a tampon.
他还随身带着卫生棉条来助人为乐
And he carries tampons with him to be helpful.
他真是个好男人
Ohh, he's such a great guy.
我很抱歉 我不该怀疑你
I'm so sorry. I never should have doubted you.
我爱你 我永远爱你
I love you. I'll love you forever!
杰茜 我永远不会背叛你
Jesse, I would never betray you.
我喜欢随身带些超大号♥卫生棉条 以备急用
I like to have some super-sized tampons on me for emergencies.
让我们领养多达28只救援犬 并永远称呼彼此为宝贝
Let's adopt up to 28 rescue dogs and call each other "babe" forever.
好的 我爱你
Yes, I love you.
不 我更爱你
No, I love you more.
好吧 你确实更爱我
Fine. You do love me more.
微软Zune的脸纹身？
A Microsoft Zune face tattoo?
他这么做是为了比赛吗？
Did he do that for a contest?
我退出
Ugh, I'm out.
看 是噗噗 哥斯拉 还有巨型机器人
Look, it's the Pupa, Godzilla, and the giant robot.
但是他们不再打架了？ 他们在接吻吗？
But they're not fighting anymore? Are they kissing?
那边到底发生什么事了？
What is the story over there?
伙计 有个巨大的机器人 在那边发PS5游戏机呢
Dude, this giant robot was just handing out PS5s over there.
我拿到了十个
I got, like, ten!
过来 告诉我是怎么回事
Get back here, tell me how that makes sense!
噗噗那里是怎么回事？
What's happening there with the Pupa?
天啊 我想要个PS5
Oh, man, I wish I could get a PS5.
谁在发PS5游戏机？
Who's giving out PS5s?
我们要坚强 打败莱纳斯
We gotta stay strong, defeat Linus.
偏偏就今天我必须原地不动
Of all the days not to be able to leave a particular area!
商店开门了 就是现在了
They're opening the store. This is it.
我好紧张 他们会选哪队？
I'm nervous. Which line will they pick?
我站的姿势怎么样？
How's my standing?
我在用我的核心力量做凯格尔运动
I'm engaging my core and doing a Kegel.
你超级性感
You hot as hell.
莱纳斯怎么看起来这么胸有成竹？
Why does Linus look so sure?
等等 他知道什么？
Wait a hot minute. What does he know?
那个人是打电♥话♥给莱纳斯的人
That's the guy who called Linus.
他有内应 真是个作弊的混♥蛋♥
He has an inside man. What a cheating fuck!
他要作弊 我们也作弊
If he's gonna cheat, we cheat, too.
我要用高科技 -不行
I'm using sci-fi. -No.
我要回归排队的初衷
I need to get back to line basics.
不用装备 不耍花招 不用高科技
No gear, no tricks, no sci-fi.
如果我要输 我也会按照传统方式输掉
If I'm gonna lose, I'll lose the old-fashioned way.
你真的成熟了很多
You're really showing a lot of growth.
我为你做出正确的选择而感到骄傲
I'm proud of you for doing the right thing.
到了该高度集中注意力 进入状态的时候了
Time for the ultimate focus, to get into the zone,
和队列合二为一
become one with the line force.
你可以的 闭上眼睛 想着这条队列会赢
You've got this. Close your eyes and think about winning this line.
等一下 他们让我们这条队进去了
Wait a minute. They're letting our line in.
我没有作弊就赢了 我光荣地打败了他
I'm winning without cheating. I beat him with honor.
你的确是
Indeed you did.
我成功了 难以置信 我喜欢光荣之战
I did it. I can't believe it. I love being honorable.
我要永远保持正直
I'm gonna have integrity forever.
这才是我不了解的特里
That's the Terry I've never known.
总有一天 我会报复你们这些混♥蛋♥
Argh! I'm gonna get you fuckers back for this someday.
还有特里？你和我 我们结束了
Oh, and, Terry? You and me, we're done.
给自己找个排队离婚律师吧
Get yourself a line divorce lawyer
因为我要跟你排队分居
because I am headed to the path of a line separation
最终结果肯定是昂贵的排队离婚
that is definitely leading to a costly line divorce.
可以品尝到 Supreme品牌的味道
Ah, you can really taste the Supreme branding.
还有对我来说太酷的味道
The flavor of being too cool for me.
我喜欢新的苹果手♥机♥
Ohh, I love a new iPhone.
每年花钱买♥♥一个新的真的让我感觉
Paying for a new one every year really makes me feel...
糟糕
Oh, shit.
天啊 这双运动鞋
Oh, my God, these sneakers...
爽啊 我的脚要高♥潮♥了
Oh, yeah, my feet are gonna cum.
特里 我现在懂了
Terry, I get it now.
排队是人类体验的比喻
Lines are a metaphor for the human experience.
重要的不是目的地 而是旅程
It's not about the destination, it's the journey.
你只有相信自己才能相信你的队列
You have to believe in yourself to believe in your line.
我只是喜欢当第一个接触新事物的人
I just like being the first with new stuff.
天啊 特里 那太蠢了
Got damn it, Terry, that's so stupid!
你为什么喜欢这么蠢的事情？
Why do you like such dumb shit?
我不喜欢看到他的脸
I hate to see his face,
但我喜欢看他脖子走开的样子
but I love to watch that neck walk away.
我排了一条最酷的队
I was in the coolest line ever.
我拿到了一件T恤和一个奖牌 上面写着
I got this T-shirt and this medal that says,
“我终于完成了硬汉泥人比赛”
"I finally bested my Tough Fadder."
我是T恤男 给我
Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm the T-shirt guy, hand it over.