外星也难民

Show Terry your other face. Get all mean and nasty.
不知道你在说什么 我们一句话也没说啊
Not sure what you're talking about. We didn't speak a word.
你盯着地面 就像一个真正的… 就像你脑子坏了
You stared at the ground like a real... Like, you're so dumb.
你不要胡编乱造了
You don't have to make stuff up.
我♥干♥吗要那样？
Why would I do that?
可能你嫉妒我和莱纳斯的关系吧
Maybe you're jealous of my relationship with Linus.
我有风衣 和可以让我飘浮起来的漂亮水晶
I have a robe and sweet-ass crystal that can make me levitate.
我永远不会嫉妒对着队伍打飞机的人
I'll never be jealous of some nerd who jerks off to lines.
你真让我难堪
You're embarrassing me.
还记得我们排队
Remember when we waited in that line
等着进第一个吉米·巴菲特·巴菲特 紧急护理中心的时候吗
to get into the first ever Jimmy Buffett Buffet and Urgent Care center
我因为吃了让我过敏的虾 都快晕过去了
and I almost coded out 'cause I ate that shrimp I'm allergic to?
天啊 那里胖仔超多
Oh, my God, so many fat fatties.
这条队一直往前不停
This line is unstoppable.
糟糕 有个湖？天啊
Shit, a lake? Oh, my God.
我们要进水里了？真是天才
We're getting in the water? That's genius.
我们比站在街上的那些白♥痴♥ 移♥动♥得快多了
We're going faster than those idiots standing on the street.
好啊 我们来偷这些自行车 酷！
Hell yeah! Let's steal these bikes. Sick!
来啊 科尔沃
Come on, Korvo.
和我们一起做深蹲
Do squats with us.
我们锻炼肌肉以防它们萎缩
We work our muscles to keep them from atrophying.
他不会理解的 看看他的小细腿
He won't understand. Look at his tiny legs.
就像火柴棍 只不过永远不会被点燃
They're like matchsticks, except they'll never be lit.
那就是两面三刀
See, that's that two-faced shit.
那是文字游戏 敏感先生
It's called wordplay, Mr. Sensitive.
我得接个电♥话♥ 是我的死党 杰夫
Ohh, I got to take this. It's my best friend, Jeff.
你会喜欢他的
You would love him.
我们是在婚礼排队 等泊车服务生的时候认识的
We met in a wedding line for the valet.
你和莱纳斯到底是怎么回事？
What the fuck is the dealio with you and Linus?
怎么了 科尔沃？他是我的排队丈夫
What, Korvo? He's my line husband.
就像我有杰拉德 我的旋转训练课丈夫
Like how I have Gerard, my spin-class husband
还有小比利 我周日下午在好市多的丈夫
and Billy Jr., my Sunday afternoon Costco husband.
你为何这么介意？ -我没有 好吧？
Why do you care so much? -I don't, okay?
他总是摸你的腰
He touches your waist a lot.
这是我们在排队时让彼此站稳的方式
It's how we keep each other steady in line.
你看到那个外星人 对哥斯拉耍古代武术了吗？
Did you see that alien do ancient martial arts on that Godzilla?
我想他还会和那个来到镇上的 巨型机器人作战
I think he's also gonna fight that giant robot that came into town.
噗噗在和巨蜥以及机器人战斗？
Pupa is fighting a giant lizard and a robot?
这听起来太棒了 我希望我能看得更清楚些
It sounds awesome. I wish I could see better.
这太令人沮丧了 我看不到机器人
This is so frustrating! I can't see the robot.
我打赌它能做很多很酷的事 就像机器人警♥察♥查派一样
I bet it does all sorts of cool stuff like Chappie.
这怎么能不让你沮丧呢？
How does this not frustrate you?
不知道啊 因为我很聪明？
I don't know. 'Cause I'm smart?
好的 拜拜
All right. Buh-bye.
杰夫想要点烟熏猪排的建议
Jeff wanted tips on smoking a fucking rad pork shoulder.
我认为自己是烧烤大♥师♥
I consider myself a grill master of sorts.
我错过了什么？ -等等 你不能回到队列里
What did I miss? -Hold it. You can't get back in line.
“你不能回到队列里”
"You can't get back in line."
你在说什么？我是这条队的老大
What are you talking about? I'm king of this line.
你没说位子寄放 -我没有离开啊
You didn't call line check. -I didn't leave.
我就走开了五步之遥吧
I stepped five feet away.
那就是离开了
That's called leaving.
这个文字游戏怎么样？
How do you like those wordplay apples?
哦 不 抱歉 但是他说得对
Oh, no. I'm sorry, but he's right.
说位子寄放是个规则
Calling line check is part of the rules.
没了规则 一条队伍 就只是一帮站着的人而已
Without rules, a line is just people standing around.
你知道那是谁说的吗？
You know who said that?
甘地 或者凯尔·冯·提森伯格
Gandhi, I think, or Kyle Von Titsenburg.
不管怎样 你出局了 莱纳斯
Either way, you're outtie-200, Linus.
找一条更容易排的队吧 也许去公园等婴儿秋千？
Find an easier line to stand in. Maybe at the park for the baby swing?
你给我闭嘴
You shut your fucking mouth!
你就是个排队屌♥丝！
You're a line loser!
你不应该被允许站在 像我这样的专业人士旁边
You should never be allowed to stand next to a pro like me.
这就是他的另一面
There's the other face.
他真的是判若两人
He really does have two faces.
我以为那只能在电视里看到 -对吧？
I thought that was just on TV. -Right?
我希望你们都得性病 去死吧
I hope you both get gonorrhea, go to hell,
那是不用排队的
and there's no line to get in.
别这样 我们一起排了那么多的队呢
Don't be like this. After the waiting we've done?
我要重开一条更好的队伍
I'm starting a better line.
那是违反古老规则的
That's against the ancient codes.
什么规则不规则
Fuck the codes.
我是莱纳斯
I'm Linus.
我的名字里就有排队一词
"Line" is in my name.
大家好
Hey, everyone!
那是莱纳斯吗？ -莱纳斯
Is that Linus? -Linus!
他是三连冠的排队冠军
He won the Standee three years in a row.
我看到队列里有很多熟悉的面孔 如果你是专业人士
I see a lot of familiar faces in line, and if you're a pro,
而不是蓝或绿肤色 没有屁♥眼♥的屌♥丝
and not a loser with blue or green skin and no butthole,
那就跟我去一个更好的地方排队吧 就在这里
then follow me to a better way to stand, right over here.
我们最好跟着他 -他知道自己在做什么
We better follow. -He knows what he's doing.
但是 拜托 伙计们 规则呢
But... Come on, guys. The code.
你毁了我这辈子最棒的队列
You ruined the greatest line of my lifetime.
那不是我的错 是莱纳斯…
It wasn't my fault. Linus...
我现在都不想和你说话
I can't talk to you right now.
你想跟我分享我的爱好 却让它成为了我的噩梦
You wanted to share my hobby with me, and you made it my nightmare.
混♥蛋♥
Son of a bitch.
工作让人筋疲力尽
Wow. Business is exhausting.
宝贝 你看起来帅呆了
Whoa, babe, you look like a million bucks.
我是说你看起来像是挣了一百万
I mean, you look like you make a million
作为一名出色的女商人 -我的确是
being a kick-ass businesswoman. -I am.
这市场简直疯了 你知道是什么样的
The markets went wild. You know how it is.
升值和贬值 股票和债券 图表和饼图
Ups and downs, stocks and bonds, charts and pie.
我做了没有小牛肉的 小牛肉帕尔马干酪 你的最爱
I made of veal parmesan without the Veal. Your fave.
脱掉高跟鞋 享受一顿美餐吧
Kick off those heels and enjoy a nice meal.
这看起来太美妙了
This looks amazing.
但我晚餐唯一想要的
But the only thing I want for dinner
是你后脑勺上的嘴 落在我的唇上 先生
is your hair-mouth on my mouth-mouth, mister.
真不敢相信 我们结婚十年了
I cannot believe, after ten years of marriage,
还是如此热情高涨
we still have so much passion.
现在把我翻过来 就像你 翻那个没有牛肉的牛肉帕尔马干酪
Now, flip me over like you flipped that not-veal parmesan
像摸土豆一样摸我 把我拌成肉馅儿！
Fingerling me like your potatoes. Gravy me!
我喜欢你把食物和性混合在一起
I love it when you mix food and sex,
就像我的英雄艾娜·加滕一样
just like my hero, Ina Garten.
等等 你看什么呢？
Wait, what are you looking at?
这贱妇 没人能偷走我的男人
That hussy. No one steals my man.
你怎么能这样 我们结婚了这么多年
How could you, after all our years of marriage,
我工作一整天就为了给你的帆船付钱
after I work all day to pay for your sailboat?
她是朋友
She's a friend.
真是难以置信
I can't believe this!
我们向彼此承诺过的一件事 就是我们永远不会出轨
The one thing we promised each other was that we would never cheat.
你真是疯了
You're being crazy.
他在玩弄你呢 贱♥人♥
He's playing you, ho.
他长♥期♥跟我亲热
He fingers me on the reg.
我就知道 -她在说谎
I knew it. -She's lying.
别听她的 -我没法这样生活
Don't listen to her. -I can't live like this.
我们结束了 我要离婚
We're through. I want a divorce!
特里 和我说话啊
Terry, talk to me.
你毁了一个五级队列
You ruined a Cat 5 line.
就跟打断了 一场强飓风的行进路径一样
It's like interrupting the path of a strong hurricane.
谁会去阻止一场给力的飓风呢？
Who'd stop an awesome, powerful hurricane?
X战警中的暴风女神八成会 她能控制天气
Probably Storm, the X-Men. She can control the weather.
这将防止财产损失
It would prevent property damage.
你是在向我炫耀你更聪明吗？
You're rubbing it in my face you're smarter?
真棒 继续攻击我吧
Great. Keep the hits coming.
莱纳斯的事情很抱歉
Sorry about Linus.
我以为我遵守了你教我的规则
I thought I was respecting line rules like you taught me.
我想我为你使用规则而感到骄傲
I guess I am pretty proud of you for using the rules.
我很擅长遵守规则
I'm very good at rules.
真是难以置信 莱纳斯排起了一条新的队
I cannot believe Linus created a new line.
那是最恶劣的行径