外星也难民

布兰达 小甜心 你来说饭前祷告怎么样
- Brenda, sweetheart, would you like to say grace?
你可真是幸运啊
- Wow! Lucky girl.
在我35岁以前我爸可不允许我说饭前祷告
Papa didn't let me say grace until I was 35.
上帝保佑我们 这些...啊
- Bless us, oh Lord, and these-- ah!
冲 小绿猪 冲 小绿猪
Go, green! Go, green!
河马 河马 河马
Hippos! Hippos! Hippos!
我的天 这他妈是怎么一回事
- Jesus Christ! What the hell is going on here?
我们用复活射线把虚拟的饥饿河马
- We used a Come Alive ray to sci-fi some Hungry Hungry Hippos
科幻模拟出现实生活中真的饥饿河马
into IRL life Hungry Hippos,
事情就变得有趣起来了
and things got a little titsy!
我的河马刚吃了一个巨丑的花瓶 小粉得十分
- Oh! Mine just ate an ugly vase! That's ten points for pink!
那是我爸的骨灰啊
- Those were my father's ashes!
那就是双倍得分 好棒
- That means double points, boyyy!
这是我玩过的最好的游戏之夜了
- Best game night ever!
比我们在糖果乐园得糖尿病那次好多了
- It's way better than when we all got diabetes from real-life Candyland.
你有什么事 我在游戏呢
- Ugh. What do you want? I'm gaming!
大家认识什么蛹宝吗
Hey, do we know a "Pupa"?
-认识 -拜托 老兄
- Yes! - Come on, man!
当然 好吧 多谢你的电♥话♥
- Uh-huh. Oh. Alright. Thanks for calling.
我的天啊
Jesus Christ.
好啦 我们走 粉粉河马
Alright! Let's go, pink hippo!
电♥话♥里说了什么
- W-what was that all about?
没什么 就是蛹宝在商店被拘留了
- Nothing, the Pupa got arrested at the mall.
什么 那我们要去救他啊
- What? We have to go save him!
好吧 我知道怎么一回事了
- Okay, I see how it is.
泰瑞要赢得胜利的时候 大家就开始关心蛹宝了
We only worry about the Pupa when Terry's winning game night.
真不要脸
This is bullshit!
失乐邦星曾是一个完美的乌托邦
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.
直到被小行星撞击了
Until the asteroid hit.
一百个成人带着他们的复刻后代以及分配的蛹宝
One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa
逃入了 呃 宇宙中
and escaped into, uh, the space,
在空无一人的世界里寻找新的家园
searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.
我们在地球上坠毁 被困在一个人口过多的星球上
We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.
没错 一直都是我在讲话
That's right, I've been talking this whole time.
我就是那个抱着蛹宝的人 我叫酷佛
I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.
这是我的节目 我刚把蛹宝掉地上了 看见没
This is-- this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?
太荒谬了
This is ridiculous.
我讨厌地球 这是个糟透心的星球
I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.
人类愚蠢且迷惑
People are stupid and confusing.
为什么会有这么多野火
Why are there so many wildfires?
你们那根口径跟星球一样大的水管呢 有了这玩意什么火都给给它浇灭咯
Where is your planet-sized hose so that we can just put everything out?
你们真的该考虑造一根的
You should really think about building one of those.
所以 这个被称为"蛹宝"的蓝色外星生物
So yeah, the blue space creature, aka "the Pupa,"
在下午两点的时候进了克莱尔的珠宝店
walked into the Claire's jewelry store at 2:00 p. m.
几分钟后带着失窃的商品出去了
and exited minutes later with the stolen merchandise.
耳环 搞什么啊 他连耳朵都没有
- Earrings? What the hell, he doesn't even have ears.
难道他其实有耳朵
Or does he?
我们的蛹宝从来不会偷东西
- Our Pupa would never steal anything.
他已经有布巴阿甘虾万事信♥用♥卡♥了
He's got his own Bubba Gump Shrimp Platinum Rewards Mastercard.
肯定是别的蛹宝偷的
It must have been another Pupa.
我看的清清楚楚
- I saw it all.
他偷走了漂亮的珍珠耳环 一把穿耳枪
He stole sweet pearl earrings, a body piercing gun,
还有三条独角兽颈链
and three unicorn chokers.
为什么学校里的库克校长和弗兰克小姐会在这
- Why are Principal Cooke and Miss Frankie from school here?
我还以为你的兼♥职♥是给黑帮开叉车阿
I thought your second job was driving a forklift for the mob.
我有一堆兼♥职♥ 小孩
- I've got a ton of jobs, kid.
老师 风暴猎人 开叉车
Teacher, storm chaser, this,
我还在机场帮缉毒局嗅行李
plus I sniff luggage at the airport for the DEA.
这个小混♥蛋♥在学校里
- This little sack of fucks has been running
经营非法的穿孔的生意
a black market piercing ring at school.
他的大多数客人都感染了
Most of his customers have gotten infections.
-咪♥咪♥ -我都要吐了
- Titties! - I'm gonna hurl.
在染上毒瘾之前 我是一名儿童心理医生
- I was a child psychiatrist before my crippling addiction
后来因迷上了名人的脚 我才成为安保人员的
to celebrity feet forced me into a career in civilian security,
我可以告诉你这就是失控青年
which is why I can tell you that this is an out-of-control teenager situation.
这肯定不对劲啊
- This just doesn't make any sense. [thunder rumbling]
他只是一个可爱的小超级计算机
He's normally such a sweet little supercomputer.
确实 他杀死了机械战警
I mean, yes, he did kill a RoboCop
确实 他会改造出一个新的星球毁灭我们所有生物
and, yes, he will one day terraform a new planet that destroys us all
但是现在 你看看他就是个可爱的小东西
but come on, look at the cute little guy.
你有什么毛病啊 蛹宝 你怎么能这么对我们呢
- What the hell is wrong with you, Pupa? How could you do this to us?
为了造这几只河马 我们给你两周自♥由♥的时间
- We take our eyes off you for two weeks to sci-fi some hippos,
这就是你给我们的报答吗
and this is how you repay us?
我巨气无比 等会 有这个词吗
- I am livid! Wait, is that a real word?
不管了 我就是巨气无比
Well, then I'm fucking livid.
好了 大家伙 别生气了
- Okay now, guys, let's take it easy here.
也许我们还不够了解蛹宝
Maybe we just don't know Pupes as well as we thought.
爷现在巨气无比 气到想要了解透彻他
- And I say it's livid time to find out.
完了现在这货说什么都离不开”巨气无比”了
- Now he's going to use livid wrong for everything.
说唱音乐海报 游戏装备
- Rap music posters, a Game Gear,
《暮光之城》系列
The Twilight series?
这些书对你来说太色♥色♥了
These books are way too sexy for you!
一包大♥麻♥ 你还把哈利波特口哨变成了烟枪啊
- Bag of weed, a Harry Potter Whistle you turned into a bong.
《小丑》的高清碟片
- A SteelBook HD-DVD of The Joker,
一套看起来像是奸商的人偶
a Mech suit that looks to be some sort of con-man businessperson,
这有什么用啊
what could this be for?
你问我♥干♥嘛 我不知道
- Why you asking me? I don't know!
搞什么 这些都是你偷来的吗 蛹宝
- What the hell? Are you stealing all this stuff, Pupa?
你不是我们认识且深爱的蛹宝了
- This isn't the Pupa we know and love.
你到底是谁
Who even are you?
我也希望自己不是蛹宝
- I wish I'd never been Pupa'd.
那个商场的警♥察♥说得对
- That mall cop was right.
蛹宝变成了没办法管的叛逆少年了
The Pupa's an out-of-control motherfuckin' teenager!
好了 队友们 接下来我们要拿蛹宝怎么办
- Okay, team, what're we gonna do with the Pupa?
有主意就说 来吧
No idea is a bad idea. Go!
他是一个敏感的小可爱 我们要好好呵护他
- He's a sensitive little dumpling. We should be nurturing him.
好烂的主意 下一个
Bad idea. Next.
我们用锤子敲晕他的脑袋 再把他扔进采石场
- Let's smash him in the head with a hammer and throw him in a quarry.
这个是备选方案 下一个
We'll use that as a backup, next.
我们不能惩罚他
- We shouldn't punish him.
我们要向他学习 吸取盗窃经验 然后再去榆东西
We should learn from him, so we can steal stuff too!
我现在就要开始看点色♥色♥的书
I'm gonna start reading sexy books and shit.
这些主意都糟透了
- All these ideas suck.
他想要变成一个青少年 那我们就像对待青少年一样对他
He wants to be a teenager, then let's treat him like a teenager.
蛹宝 我作为队长 有一个决定
Pupa, as team leader, I have come to a decision.
你要被禁足一个月
You shall be grounded for one earth month.
- 禁足-没错 禁足
-Grounded?-Yes,grounded.
哦 哦 没事的 没事的
- Oh no, oh! It's gonna be okay.
酷佛 你把他弄哭了 神经病啊
Korvo, you made him cry. Psychopath.
我不知道他会哭 我又有什么错
- I-- I didn't know he would-- It's the right thing to do.
他要学会….
He has to learn-- [Pupa grunting]
我都说了要好好呵护他
I told you he needed to be nurtured!
这是断电了吗
Did the power go out?
我还没来得及保存7章《动物之森》的同人文呢
I didn't save a backup of my seven-part Animal Crossing fart fic!
我不是蛹宝专家 但我知道他身上肯定不该是两种颜色的
I'm no Pupa expert, but even I know he isn't supposed to be two colors.
你就是蛹宝专家啊
- You are the Pupa expert.
谢谢 我不会让你失望的
- Thank you, I won't let you down.
艾莎 我们有一个问题
- AISHA, we have a problem.
不是吧 酷佛 你又要融化了啊
Oh dang, Korvo! You melting again?
你皮肤很不好哦
Your skin looks nasty.
什么 我一直有坚持一天两次用奥丽哈力逊的
- What? I've been using Ole Henriksen's
胶原蛋白增强真C复合面部精华液
Collagen Boosted True-C Complex Facial Serum twice a day!
不是我啦 是蛹宝 他长歪了
No. It's the Pupa, he's all fucked up.
现在蛹宝身上蓝色和海藻绿交替
The Pupa is stuck between powder blue and sea-foam green.
别说废话了 这到底什么意思
- No shit, but what does that mean?
你们这些人可不能一天天老是这样
You guys can't go one day without being all,
"""艾莎帮帮我这个 帮帮我那个"" ”
AISHA this and AISHA that
“艾莎 帮帮我 我的木头老二卡在超光速引擎里
and AISHA, help, my wooden penis is stuck in the hyperdrive.
那东西有个橡木形的洞 又不是我的错
- It's not my fault the thing has an oak - shaped hole.
当蛹宝闪着黄光
When the Pupa's pigment blinks yellow,