外星也难民

It's not always the Pupa expert fucking up.
我敢说复♥制♥人也会惹事 瞧瞧他们 一脸不省心的样子
I bet the replicants do it, too. Look at them. Fuck ups.
别血口喷人 贱♥人♥
Better keep my name out of your mouth, bitch.
我们复♥制♥人从不惹麻烦
Us replicants never cause any shit.
事实恐怕并非如此
That's not exactly true.
弹射扩散第66小队
从巨型海贝壳里 搜刮了一整天营养物后
Nothing beats ending a full day
还有什么比蜷在火堆前 阅读着厚厚一本操作手册
of scraping nutrients off of giant seashells
结束这一天更美好的呢
like curling up by the fire with a dense manual.
这日子过得太糟心了 我恨这颗星球 如果我从没被复♥制♥就好了
This sucks. I hate this planet. Wish I'd never been replicated.
声音太大了 调小点 -我们只是想放松一下
Too loud. Turn it down. -We just want to relax.
连我放松的方式都入不了你的眼了
Oh, so, the way I relax isn't good enough for you.
不要每件事都这么小题大做
You don't have to make everything into a big deal.
把遥控器给我 -不
Give me the remote. -No.
把遥控器给我 -喂！
Give me the remote. -Hey!
别打了！
Stop that!
不！
No!
好吧 仅仅有一只复♥制♥人 不小心杀死了整支小队
Okay. So, one replicant accidentally killed their team.
这几率不高
No big deal.
弹射扩散第67小队
去死吧！
Die! Die!
去死吧！
Die! Die!
我无话可说了 -这也太恐怖了
I got nothing. -That was fucked.
仅有他们做出了那种事
They were the only ones who did that.
那就好 我们是绝对不会杀了你们 然后开始亲热的
Good. Because we would never kill you guys, then make out.
当然不会
Sure wouldn't.
显然 任务的成败取决于 对彼此的尊重
Clearly, the mission relies on mutual respect.
可我们对彼此毫无尊重啊
But we don't respect each other at all.
这是不是意味着 我们和那些糟糕小队没什么两样
Does that mean that we're one of the shitty teams?
不可能 我们一定是最棒的
No way. We're the best.
我不这么觉得 到目前为止 最棒的似乎是第1小队
I don't know. Team 1 still seems like the best so far.
我想再看看他们 那些混♥蛋♥ 肯定已经被霸王龙吃了
I want to see them again. Those fuck-ups have to be T-rex shit by now.
其实 第1小队的表现依旧很好
Actually, Team 1 is keeping it together.
弹射扩散第1小队
什么鬼 看他们搭建的基地多完善
What the hell! Look at their little compound they've made.
今天大家都坚守在自己的岗位上吗
Did everyone do their jobs today?
是的 长官 -当然了
Yes, sir. -You know it.
我在 长官
Yes, sir.
他们互相关爱 工作勤勉 -瞧他们的噗噗 颜色美极了
Ugh! They're so considerate and productive. -Look at their Pupa. It's beautiful.
它是泡泡糖色的
It's bubblegum colored.
为什么我们的噗噗不是那样的 -我不知道 别找我麻烦了
Why doesn't our Pupa look like that? -I don't know. Get off my back.
虽然我们确实比不上第1小队
Maybe we aren't as good as team 1,
但我敢说他们没有花费一个月
but I bet none of them spent a month learning
学习这首性感的抖音热舞
how to do this sweet ass TikTok dance.
确实 但有一些小队的任务进度
Sure, but there are other teams out there who have accomplished
和你们一模一样
the same amount of missions that you have.
你是说其它像我们一样酷的小队？ -我是指和你们一样废物的小队
You mean, other cool teams? -More like trashy assed teams.
我们才不废物呢
We aren't trashy.
给我看看那些 和我们“差不多”的小队
Show me these teams that are like us.
弹射扩散第68小队
谁想边吃肉边看电视
Oh, yeah, boy-ee! Who wants to eat meat and watch screens?
我！ -我要！
Me! -Me!
我就知道你们会喜欢
That's what I'm talking about.
在度过了到处乱搞的一天后 待会我们去恶搞邻居吧
After we fuck around all day, let's pull pranks on our neighbors.
我们走
Let's go.
这些家伙就像是一元店里 最低配版的我们
These guys are the version of us you'd get at a dollar store.
见鬼 我们为什么像废物一样活着
Fuck! Why are we acting so trashy?
朋友们 我们还有任务在身呢 我的头好疼
Dudes, we have a mission. My head, it hurts.
我也是 为什么如此沉迷于电视
Mine does, too. Why are we obsessed with screens?
我们本该好好照顾噗噗的
We're supposed to be taking care of the Pupa.
不 莫门斯！
Oh, no, Mormons!
什么鬼 他们表现得和我们一样
What the fuck! The only reason they were acting like us
竟然是因为他们的脑袋里 长了毛绒绒的虫子
is because there were fuzzy insects in their brains.
等等 你们的脑袋里不会也有吧 -没有
Wait, you don't have those, too? -No.
看来你们只是天生废物 不是因为被毛虫寄生才这样
I guess you just regular trashy, you not fuzzy insect trashy.
是啊 -这不是好事
Yeah. -That's bad.
再给我们看一支和我们相似 没被虫子吃空脑子的小队
Show us another team that's like us who aren't being eaten from the inside.
弹射扩散第69和70小队
这是我们的星球 照顾噗噗 让它把这里什洛浦星化的也会是我们
This is our planet, and we're gonna raise our Pupa to terraform it.
做梦吧 是我们先降落在这里的 执行什洛浦星化的一定是我们的噗噗
No way! We landed here first. Our Pupa is going to be doing the terraforming.
跟你们介绍一下我的朋友 他叫“想都别想”
Let me introduce you to my friends, not and today.
小崽子！ -去死吧！
Son! -Suck my mouth!
把枪给我！
Give me that!
弹射扩散第71小队
任务的确很重要 但娱乐也一样重要
Yes, the mission is important, but so is having fun.
关键是要在两者间找到平衡
It's all about balance.
我们不能把所有时间都浪费在
We can't just hyper focus on the safety of the Pupa
专心保护噗噗的安全上 我们得学会放松享乐
every waking second of the day. We have to have a little fun.
我们来跳舞吧！
Let's dance!
看到了吗 特里 你得对自己的工作再上点心
See, Terry, you have to take your job more seriously.
拜托 我不会干出那种事的 那家伙就是个蠢货
Oh, please, that would never happen to me. That guy was an idiot.
特里 当心电视！ -什么
Terry, watch out, the TV! -The what now?
蠢货 我们已经看了一整天 噗噗丧命的惨剧了
Fucking idiot. We've been watching Pupas die all day.
看其它小队的进度 本来是为了让我放心摆烂的
This was supposed to make me feel better about how behind we are in the mission.
还有多少活着的小队 爱莎 -寥寥无几
How many teams are even alive, Aisha? -Not many.
有的被变异人吃了
Some were eaten by reverts.
第77-85小队
很多被辐射烤死了
A bunch got cooked by radiation.
有一队被DC漫画的超人团灭了 由于版权原因 这部分画面没法展示
One team got killed by DC comics Superman. Can't show that one for legal reasons.
剩下的几个没什么好讲的
There isn't a lot to tell for the last dozen.
弹射扩散第99小队
这支小队在旅程中没出意外 只是到死也没找到宜居星球
They technically survived the journey. Just never found a planet.
他们耗尽了氧气和水 最终被埋葬在自己的飞船里
Ran out of oxygen and water, their bodies entombed in their ships,
在无尽的虚空中永远地行驶下去
coasting forever into the infinite void.
第99小队 也就是说 我们是仅存的一支小队了
Ninety-nine? That means we're the last team left.
我的上帝老天爷啊 你说得没错
Holy ass-shitting fuck. It does.
我们总是在做危险的蠢事
We're always doing stupid, dangerous things.
我们完蛋了 我们是仅存的小队 但我们就是一群废物
We're so fucked. We're the last team and we're total fuck ups.
我们就是一坨狗屎
We're dog shit.
我们完蛋了
We're done.
等等 那第1小队呢
Wait! What about Team 1?
对啊 他们还活着呢
Oh, right. They didn't die.
爱莎 快给我们看看第1小队的进展
Aisha, show us Team 1 quick.
弹射扩散第1小队
谢天谢地 这些蠢货还好好活着 -他们在做什么
Thank God, these dorks are alive. -What are they doing?
等等 我知道 这是噗噗准备好 将星球什洛浦星化时 要做的仪式
Wait. I know this. This is what you do when the Pupa is ready to terraform.
你说得对 快看 他们的噗噗 已经变幻成终极形态的颜色了
You're right. Look, their Pupa has reached its final color.
就是这样 小家伙 你一定可以的
That's it, little guy. You've got this.
加油
Come on, Come on.
就快成功了 他要进化为自己的原本形态了
It's happening. He's evolving to his true form.
我很荣幸与你们共事
It has been an honor to serve with you all.
这他妈的真是太棒了
This is fucking awesome.
太好了 他做到了 他成功把整颗星球什洛浦星化了
Yeah. He did it. He terraformed the whole planet.
太棒了 -真好 他们成功了！
Yeah. -All right! They did it!
我简直不敢相信
I can't believe it.
新的母星建成了 一个全新的…
New homeworld. A whole new...
等等 时间在快进
Wait a minute. We're moving forward in time.
它看起来和母星一模一样 -不然呢 这本来就是母星的复♥制♥品
It looks exactly like the homeworld. -Yeah, that's what a copy is, dude.
不 不是长得和母星一样 它就是我们的母星
No, not the image of the homeworld. This is exactly the homeworld.
你看 那就是我 我还记得这一幕
Look, there's me. I remember this.
那是在克拉克街的小摊上 买♥♥达博果的我
I'm buying Darboe fruit from that vendor on Clark Street.
这个摊主总是宰我 -我也看到我了
He always ripped me off. -There's me, too.
没错 我迷过一段时间的悠悠球 那个球是克拉格5000的
Yeah, I went through a yo-yo phase. That's a Krag 5000.
等等 噗噗复♥制♥母星时 把我们也一起复♥制♥出来了吗
Wait. When Pupa remakes the homeworld, it'll remake us, too?
不 那就是你
No, that's you.
我们怎么会同时存在于这里 和新的什洛浦星上呢
How can we be here on Earth and on new Shlorp at the same time?
不是同时存在 那不是新的什洛浦星 那就是原本的什洛浦星
You're not. That's not new Shlorp.
什洛浦星
It's Shlorp.
什么 -这些都是30年前发生的事
What? -This all happened 30 years ago.
等等 你给我们展示的那些小队…
Wait! All those teams you showed us...
他们来自于你们的什洛浦星诞生前 爆♥炸♥的那个什洛浦星
They were from the Shlorp that exploded before your Shlorp was made.
所以 第1小队的什洛浦星被小行星 击中 然后他们重建了我们那颗
So, Team 1's Shlorp got hit by an asteroid, so, they made our Shlorp.
而这颗同样被小行星击中了？
And then it got hit by an asteroid, too?
这就是我说的意思 -好吧 就当我是个傻子
I just said that. -Okay. Pretend I'm stupid.
至今为止 重建的什洛浦星有多少个
How many planet Shlorps have there been ever?