外星也难民

陀螺战士 陀螺战士 陀螺战士
Beyblade! Beyblade! Beyblade!
希望他真的...妈的
Let's hope he's-- Shit! [tires squealing]
抱歉 车道紧急涂漆
Sorry, lane painting emergency!
核电站发生了熔毁 回到旅馆去
Nuclear power plant had a meltdown. Go back to the Lodge!
雅咩莱 是我 真的丹妮尔·约翰逊
Yumyulack, it's me, the real Danielle Johnson.
我爱你
I love you!
我知道她是个假人 但她好性感
I know she's a husk, but she's hot!
别担心上 个月我让泰瑞升级了咱家的车
Don't worry, I had Terry upgrade this bad boy
这车现在具备了越野能力
with off-road capabilities last month.
冲啊
Punch it!
该死的 为什么会有滑雪板啊
Goddammit, why are there skis?
你又没告诉我会走什么样的路
You didn't tell me what kind of road we'd be off of.
该死的 泰瑞 妈的 快跑
Dammit, Terry! Oh shit, run!
泰瑞 酷佛 雅咩莱 杰西 快回来
Terry, Korvo, Yumyulack, Jesse, come back!
我每次扮完树后嘴里都有树枝
I always have sticks in my mouth after tree-ing myself.
我们必须在这些乡巴佬把我们绑起来吃掉
Okay, we gotta get outta here before these hicks tie us up and eat us up
或用来下馆子之前离开这儿-等一下
or out or whatever.-Hold on a second.
我们怎么知道你不是这一切的幕后黑手呢
How do we know Korvo isn't behind all of this?
我为什么要这么做
Why the hell would I be?
我不知道 你总是因为一点儿小事伤心
I don't know! You get butt hurt about every little thing.
你还在我们身上变过魔术 记得吗
You Now-You-Seed-Me'd us with that magic stuff, remember?
我们怎么知道你不是在进行一场《心理游戏》呢
How do we know you aren't doing a The Game?
美国动作悬疑电影，讲述一个亿万富翁在弟弟指引下参与俱乐部游戏并渐渐投入
却发现自己的生活乃至生命正在被拖入深渊的故事
我没有在玩《心理游戏》 你♥他♥妈♥怎么会这么觉得
I am not doing a The Game! How fucking dare you?
小声点儿
Keep your voice down.
如果我们还在这里翻旧账 他们会抓住我们的
They're going to catch us if we don't stop fighting about shit from the past.
但这就是旧矛盾发展成新矛盾的原因
But this is how old shit festers into new shit.
除非我们真心道歉 否则我们没法前进
We have to stop moving on without properly apologizing.
好吧 我很抱歉让你们都卷进了我精彩的魔术表演
Fine! I apologize for involving you all in my brilliant magic trick.
我不该给你们的生活增添童趣
It wasn't my place to inject your lives with a childlike sense of wonder.
真是抱歉
I'm so sorry.
我也很抱歉刚才那么生气
Oh, and I'm sorry for getting so bent outta shape
在看到红色傻汗趁我不在的时候
over graphic depictions of the Red Goobler blasting you
"冲击"你
behind my back.
看看咱俩 再次成为了朋友呢
Look at us. Friends again.
不 这就像我刚才说的
No! This is what I'm talking about!
各位 我们有很严重的问题要解决
We have core issues to deal with, people!
现在就有个严重的问题
Here's a core issue:
没有高科技产品 我们怎么逃出这里啊
how do we escape without our sci-fi stuff?
我知道我说过要脱离高科技 但我还是带了个小玩意儿
I know I said we were unplugging, but I did bring a small piece of sci-fi:
我的袖珍激光剑
my pocket laser.
差点忘了我也带了-我上哪都带着呢
Forgot I had it on me.-never go anywhere without it.
泰瑞 我猜你也违背约定带了些什么吧
Terry, I assume you broke the rules and brought something too?
以防发生某些情趣的事
Just in case things got kinky.
我多希望这次旅行充满情趣
Ugh, I wish this trip had gone that way.
看来我们要杀出一条血路了
Looks like we're gonna have to fight our way out.
赶紧做点儿武器
Hurry up and make some weapons.
各位是时候变得更脏一些了
Muckers, it's time to get dirty!
妈的-哈尔克
Shit! - Halk!
我会很喜欢吃你的肉的
Oh, I'm gonna enjoy noshing you,
然后我们会一层一层地往上走
and then we're going to go up floor by floor
吃光你们所有的朋友
and eat all your friends.
你们在乎的人最终都会从我的屁♥眼♥里拉出来
Everyone you care about is going to get pooped out of my ass!
那是什么鬼东西
What the hell is that thing?
不管这是什么 它都不会碍我们的事了
Whatever it was, it's not our problem anymore.
我们恢复供电之后可能要清理一下这几层
Once we get the power back on, we gotta clean these levels out.
各位 发电室
Hey, guys, the power room.
就在我们下面
I think it's right below us.
再次搜索第四区域 记住 不要伤害他们
Sweep sector four again. And hey, remember, don't harm them.
请让我们回家吧
Please let us go home!
你被捕了 婊♥子♥
Citizen's arrest, bitch!
嘿 朋友们
Whoa. Guys!
谁都不许动
Nobody move!
都他妈退后 别再靠近了
Back the fuck up! Don't come any closer!
不过来下个赌注吧
But also, settle a bet,
我们到底在哪部诡异的镇民电影里
which "creepy townspeople movie" are we in:
《异教♥徒♥》 《楚门的世界》还是《仲夏夜惊魂》
Wicker Man, Truman Show, or Midsommar?
都不是 这些都太恐怖了
None! Those are all super creepy!
小山湖只为你们而存在
Little Mountain Lake exists only for you.
在你们第一次来之后就是这样了
It's been that way since your first visit.
什么叫它"只为我们"而存在
What do you mean it exists only "for us"?
解释一下
E-explain yourself!
你们的第一次旅行 给我们带来了价值百万美元的钻石小费
On your first trip, you tipped us millions of dollars in diamonds.
我们算了一下
We ran the math.
如果只关注于你们一家的话
By focusing on just your family,
相比服务大众游客 我们能赚得更多
we make more than trying to service tourists in general.
所以我们重建了这个小镇
So we re-built the town
而且是根据你们的喜好做出的改变
and based the changes around what you liked.
然后你们却不来了
Then, you stopped coming.
整整两年没有来过
For two years.
我们的整体经济处在了崩溃边缘
Our entire economy was on the verge of collapse.
没有你们 我们就什么都没有
Without you, we had nothing.
我们雇了一批俄♥罗♥斯♥黑客来窃取你们的数据
We hired a team of Russian hackers to scrape your data,
然后我们创建了个算法来推断你们的每个需求
and then we built an algorithm to determine your every need
还在你们的社交媒体上投放广♥告♥
and spammed your social media with ads.
怪不得我看色♥色♥的时候会出现小山丘的广♥告♥
That's why I got Little Mountain ads on my OnlyFans.
你们一来到这里 算法就推断出
Once you got here, the algorithm determined
要是在小山湖解决了你们之间的矛盾
that if you worked through your issues at LML,
你们就会更喜欢这里
you'd love it here even more!
但是我们不喜欢这里
Well, we don't love it!
去把你你们算法塞进
So you can take your algorithm and shove it
你们的臭屁♥眼♥里吧
right up your crusty butthole!
就当是个教训吧 谁叫你们惹上了外星难民
Let this be a lesson. You mess with the Solar Opposites,
所以就他妈要付出生命的代价
you pay with your fucking life!
我们是不是做得太过火了 毕竟杀了那么多人
Did we take it too far back there? With all the killing?
我觉得我们做得没错
I'd say we walked right up to the line.
反正好消息是 现在我们有整整六小时的回家车程
Well, the good news is, now we have the whole six-hour ride home
讨论我们之间的所有问题了
to talk through all our issues.
我们在树林里道歉的时候不是已经讨论完了吗
Didn't we do all that when we apologized in the woods?
才没有 我要说的是真正深入到核心的问题
No! I'm talking about really drilling down to the core issues
以便我们从中学习和成长
so we can learn and grow.
就像那个算法希望我们做的那样
Like the algorithm wanted us to.
所以我们失去了最爱的度假胜地后
So we lost our favorite vacation spot,
现在还要解决我们之间的问题吗
and we're supposed to work through our issues now?
这听起来可比留住我们的度假胜地
That sounds way worse than keeping our vacation spot
但不去解决我们的问题要烂多了
and never working through our issues.
我真的很喜欢算法
I do love algorithms.
我知道
I know you do.
天呐 他们要回来干掉我们了
Oh god, they're coming back to finish us off!
别畏畏缩缩的
Stop cowering!
生气地开了一小段车后
After a short, angry drive,
我们意识到你们的算法非常他妈精确
we realized that your algorithm was spot-the-fuck-on.
你的意思是我们帮助你们是正确的吗
You mean we were right to help you?
不 算法对我们的帮助是正确的
No. The algorithm was right to help us.
人类恶心 邋遢 又愚蠢
Humans are disgusting and messy and stupid.
算法是纯粹的 而且我无法生数学的气
Algorithms are pure. And I can't stay mad at math.
我们决定继续在小山湖度假
We've decided to keep vacationing at Little Mountain Lake.
但我们有一些要求
But we have some demands.
谢谢你们 仁慈的外星人 我们会满足你们的任何要求
Thank you, gracious aliens. We'll do whatever you want.
首先 把小山湖恢复成
First, put Little Mountain Lake back the way it was
我们第一次来时的样子
when we first visited.
然后我们会假装这一切都没有发生过
And then we'll all pretend like none of this ever happened.
你们没有困住我们 我们也没有杀30个人
You didn't trap us, we didn't slaughter 30 people.
并且我想要更辣的那个丹妮尔
And now I want the hotter Danielle!
最重要的是 不许再进行间谍活动
And, most importantly, no more spying
或者逼我们解决我们之间的问题
or trying to get us to work through our issues.
因为我们永远不会成长 学习什么的 你们明白了吗
Because we're never gonna grow or learn or do any of that shit. You got it?
现在带我们去看看那个算法吧
Now take us to the algorithm.
可怜的算法 小家伙只能按照编程做事
Poor algorithm. Little guy was just doing what he was programmed to do.
他的程序设计太牢固了
He's so well-designed.