104号房间

She won't even answer my texts.
我很高兴你在这儿
So, I'm glad you're here
因为我不知道该怎么办了
because I don't know what to do.
所以你征求我的意见
So, you're asking my advice about this?
是啊
Yeah!
我需要帮助
I mean, I need help.
我有点找不着北了 我需要你的帮助
I'm a little bit lost and I need your help.
我不知道该说什么
I don't know what to say.
我不知道
I don't know.
-但是你了解我的 -什么 兄弟
- But you know me. - What, dude?
-我不... -你比任何人都了解我
- I don't-- - No, you know me better than anybody.
兄弟 我只是了解你
Dude, I know you.
我都没结过婚也没搞过外遇什么的
I've never been married and I've never had these, like, affairs.
我才21岁
I'm fucking 21 years old, man.
我怎么会知道那些乱七八糟的事
How the fuck am I supposed to know about this shit?
我知道 但是你以前不是
I know, but didn't you used to
背着你女朋友乱搞
kind of mess around behind your girlfriends' backs
然后又回头是岸吗
and always, like, get back with them?
有
Sure.
那好
Okay.
你难道不是
And are you not, like,
-应该 -应该
- in a certain... - Certain...?
知道这种事情对吗
...position right now to, like, know?
什么意思
What do you mean?
-算了 -天啊 兄弟
- ...Never mind. - God, dude,
你是不是要去看看心理医生什么的
it sounds like you need to talk to a therapist or something,
或者 你就索性去
or, like, just go and fucking, like--
跟你♥爸♥谈谈吧 兄弟
dude, talk to your dad.
你认真吗 我得去跟我爸谈吗
Really, I'm gonna do that?
我真不知道 兄弟
I don't know, man.
兄弟 我希望能帮上忙
Dude, I wish I could be more help, you know?
我只是...
I just, like...
我死了并不等于我变成了天使
Just 'cause I'm dead doesn't mean I'm, like, this angel
可以看透你的生活 你知道吗
that can just see everything about your life, you know?
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
会好起来的 兄弟
It's all good, dude.
那 你都在忙些什么
So, what you been up to?
什么
What?
就是 你平时都在做些什么
Just, like, what do you do all day?
就 也没忙什么啊
Like, not much.
没什么
Not much?
对的 无所事事 真的
No, like, nothing, really.
-是吗 -对啊
- Really? - Yeah.
真的 我就是 有时你打给我
No, I, like-- you call me sometimes
然后 我来找你
and, like, sometimes I'll come and...
不然的话 我就是好像是那种...
Otherwise, I'm just kind of, like...
什么
What?
我只是觉得
I just feel like this is something
这事你说你想知道
that you'd, like, say that you really want to know,
但事实上你并不想知道
but I don't think you actually wanna know.
我想知道
I wanna know.
我去游泳
I swim.
就像我赖以生存的一样
Swim like my life is depending on it.
我只想知道
I just wanna know, like...
你觉得如果你那时也跟我一起游出去
do you think that if you had been out there with me...
一起游过那警戒线 你会一起死吗
like, past that break, do you think that you would be dead, too?
还是你觉得 或许...
Or you think, like, maybe...
如果你能鼓起一丝勇气
if you just had, like, a moment of raw courage
你穿过那警戒线
and you crashed through the break
然后游向我
and you sort of swam towards me,
你觉得 这样
do you think, like...
你是不是就可以救了我
Just, do you think you could've saved me?
你有想过你本来可以把我救回来的吗
Like, do you think you could've brought me back in?
-你知道我怎么想的 -你说什么
- You know what I think. - What?
我说你知道我是怎么想的
I said I think you know what I think.
不 我知道你是怎样跟别人说的
No, I think, like, I know, like, what you're telling everybody
你这么说
and, like, what you're sort of saying
不过是想减轻自己的愧罪感
so you don't kind of suffocate
你看着你的...
under the guilt of just watching your--
你的好兄弟在你不远处溺水
like, your best friend drown 30 yards away from you
而你在岸上安然无恙
while you were safe and sound on shore.
水流并没有那么急
The current was not that strong.
你不该... 我跟你说过 不要去哪里
You weren't supposed-- I told you, don't go out there.
好兄弟 你是个游泳健将 不是吗
Dude, you're supposed to be this great swimmer, right?
任何人都不应该游到那里
Nobody was supposed to be out there.
是 没错 但是就像...
Yeah, okay, but, like...
就好像在拉帕罗扎
Okay, it's kind of like at Lollapalooza.
你还记得吗 你喝得烂醉
Like, do you remember when you-- like, you were so drunk
然后你还想边喝边开车
and, like, you were trying to drink and drive,
我想阻止你 我就把你按住
and I was trying to stop you, so then I pinned you down
然后我拿走你的车钥匙
and I, like, took your keys
还把它扔到田里
and I fucking threw them into the field
我只是 我只想确保
and I was just-- I was, like, making sure,
你开不了车 你知道吗
like, you couldn't drive, you know?
就像 我只是
Like, I was, like--
我想确保你是安全的
like, I made sure you were safe, you know,
因为 我...
because that's-- I'm, like--
你是我最好的朋友啊 你知道吗
like, you're my best friend, you know?
那是好朋友之间会做的事
That's just what best friends do for each other.
我当时想最坏的情况
Yeah, I thought worst case scenario,
也不过是把你冲到边上
it was gonna take you out sideways.
哥们 你了解我 我肯定会冒险
Dude, you know me and you knew that I was gonna push it.
你知道我肯定会不守规矩
I mean, you knew that I was gonna fight it.
我就是这样的人
That's fucking what I do.
你就应该阻止我
And it was your job to fucking just call me out!
我以为如果我有危险 你就会阻止我
I assumed that if I was being unsafe, you would've stopped me,
就会把我救上岸
would've made me get out of the water.
也许你一开始就不会让我去
Man, maybe you wouldn't even let me go in in the first place.
-那是 -别说了
- That was-- - Don't say that.
不 我们俩 就是这样的
No, that was just, like, our fucking dynamic.
-这不公平 -那你觉得
- It's not fair. - You think it's fair
我死了就公平吗
that I'm the one who's fucking dead?
现在你不管去哪儿
Now I just get fucking dragged
我都被你拖到哪儿
around with you wherever the fuck you go!
-我想要的却永远得不到 -别说了
- I'm never getting asked what I want! - Stop!
该死 那不是我的错
God damn it, it's not my fucking fault!
那就是你的错
Yes, this is your fault!
-你从来就不承认 -天
- And you have never owned up to it! - God!
你从来没对我说过抱歉
You've never said you're sorry to me...
-闭嘴 -现在我死了
- Shut the fuck up! - ...and now I'm the one that's fucking dead!
这就是不公平
And that is what is not fucking fair!
你想知道我整天都在干什么吗 我死了
You wanna know what I'm doing all day? I'm being dead!
我能让你看看死是什么滋味
I can show you what being dead's like!
你想看看吗
You want me to show you?!
你还醒着吗
You awake?
是你吗
Is that you?
是的
Yeah.
你怎么了
What happened to you?
我老了
I got old.
看上去能怎么了
What's it look like happened?
现在你想看到我现在这样子
Apparently, you wanted to see me this way, so.
-我马上得走了 但是 -你为什么要走了
- Look, I gotta go soon, but, um... - Why do you have to go?
因为这将是你最后一次见我
Because this is the last time you're gonna see me.
我们不能再做朋友了
We can't be friends anymore.
我死了
I'm dead.
你明白吗
Do you understand that?
你42岁了
You're 42 years old.
你在弗罗里达的海滩边站了21年
You've been standing on a beach in Florida for 21 years...
盯着海洋
looking out at the ocean.
我每天都看着你
I watch you every day,
我看到你的家人在沙丘后