104号房间

条款和条件
Terms and conditions.
谁会读条款和条件
Who reads the goddamn terms and conditions?
我说不好 把自己永生的灵魂签给他人的人
I don't know, people who are signing away their immortal souls?
但我签这些的时候 我都没有律师
But when I signed this, I didn't even have a lawyer.
这东西都不值印它的纸值钱
This is not worth the paper it's printed on.
我们信守了我方的诺言
We kept our side of the bargain.
你拥有了五十年美好的生活 你自己也说了
You had 50 great years. You said so yourself.
但现在到了结账的时候
Now it's time to pay the check.
没人喜欢结账
Nobody likes paying the check,
但很不幸 这账必须得结
but unfortunately, the check must be paid.
而款项就是 永生永世在地狱
And the payment is... eternity in hell.
我不同意
I don't think so.
我每次都遇到这种情况
I get this every time.
每一次
Every damn time.
在下笔签字前
Is it so much to ask
让人好好读一下合同中的条款
for someone to actually read the words
这要求这么过分吗
that are written in a contract before they sign it?
显然 对你们这些人来说这是
Apparently, it's the most difficult thing in the world
世上最难的事
for you people!
往好的方面想想
Look on the bright side.
你有许许多多幸福的回忆
You'll have lots and lots of happy memories
可以永远回忆
to look back on forever!
当你说到地狱时
And when you talk about hell,
你指的具体是什么
what do you mean, exactly?
地狱 著名的地狱
Hell. The famous hell?
你在画作 电影里看见的那个
You've seen it in the paintings, the movies?
这是个讽刺版的地狱吗
Is this that ironic version of hell?
像霍默·辛普森和他的甜甜圈一样吗
Like Homer Simpson and the donuts?
霍默·辛普森
Homer Simpson--
不 那里没有甜甜圈 也不是讽刺
No! There's no donuts. It's not ironic.
下面根本没有讽刺
There's no irony down there.
只有无穷尽的折磨
This is never-ending torment!
和烈焰 无止尽的烈焰
With fire! Lots of fire!
他们喜欢烈焰 特别热衷
They love fire! They can't get enough of it!
但地狱 真的吗 地狱
Hell, though, really? Hell?
燃烧着烈火和赤♥裸♥的身体
I mean, with the flames and the naked bodies
还有带着尖尾巴的红色小人
and the little red guys with pointy tails?
差不多就是这样 没错
That's pretty much the size of it, yes.
那天堂就是充满云彩吗
And heaven is full of clouds?
有带光环的天使弹着竖琴吗
And angels with halos playing harps?
我自己从没去过 但据我所知
I've never been myself, but from what I understand,
差不多就是这样
that's pretty much it.
我不信
Well, I'm not buying it.
你想看看预告吗
Would you like to see a preview?
还有预告
A preview?
天哪
Oh, Jesus!
我的天啊
Jesus fucking Christ!
我刚说到...
So as I was saying--
我当时不知道
I didn't realize!
我当时不知道
I-I didn't realize!
我本来想说你以后会习惯的
Yeah, I'd like to say that you get used to it eventually,
但我觉得你可能不行
but I don't think you really ever do.
他们会永远这样吗
And that happens for eternity?
我的天啊
Oh, my God.
吉恩
Jean...
我知道这看起来很残忍♥ 或者很不公平
I know this may look harsh or unfair,
但是记住 关在这里的所有人都是有原因的
but remember, everyone's down there for a reason.
他们不是像你这样为了世俗的愉悦而出♥卖♥♥♥了灵魂
Either they sold their souls for earthly pleasures like you did,
就是只是单纯的...大混♥蛋♥
or they were just... major league assholes.
绝对不能这样
Well, this is not gonna happen.
吉恩 都会变成这样的
Jean, it's what always happens.
我不会
Well, not with me.
乔治 我是吉恩
George, it's Jean.
我签了合同...
I have this contra-- Hey!
我见过上千名律师用上千种不同的语言
I've watched a thousand lawyers read a thousand contracts
读上千份合同
in a thousand different languages,
有很多种语言至今已经灭绝了
many of which have since died out.
根本没有漏洞 你出♥卖♥♥♥了你的灵魂
There's no loophole. You sold your soul.
你会下地狱 永远
And you're going to hell. Forever.
结束
The end.
吉恩 你过了快乐的50年
Look, Jean, you had 50 great years.
有的人连享受50分钟的机会都没有
Some people don't get 50 great minutes!
你叹什么气
What are you sighing about?
要下地狱的可是我
I'm the one that's going to hell.
你知道定期把人
Do you know how depressing it is
送往无尽的折磨中
to send people to ceaseless torment
是多么压抑的事吗
on a regular basis?
真的很难过
It's a real bummer.
真是不好意思
I'm so sorry.
你因为经常拿着干草叉
Are you getting blisters on your hands
手上都长茧了吗
from all the pitchfork-wielding?
-小可怜 -是你自找的
- Poor you. - Yeah. You asked for it.
你自己签下的
You literally signed up for it.
但你们大多都很愚蠢
But you're all stupid, mostly.
最后你们都会后悔
You regret it at the end,
拖着患有肝硬化的身体
and then you come back with cirrhosis of the liver
与支离破碎的家庭关系而来
and a trail of broken relationships.
我都没有
I don't have either.
我过得非常非常好
And I've had a really, really good time.
不过我也是过了一段时间才习惯
I must say it took me a while to get used to it,
但一旦我适应了
but once I got into the swing of it,
我就爱上了那种感觉
I must say I loved it.
做一个只顾享乐的固执混♥蛋♥
Being a hard-headed, hedonistic asshole
真的很适合我
really worked for me.
我很高兴你进行了充分的利用
Well, I'm certainly glad you made the most of it.
不过在一个转折点时
There was a turning point,
我突然明白了很多事
a moment when things really became clear to me.
我当时在干一个小伙子 把他吃得死死的
I was fucking this guy, and fucking with his head,
他哭着求我
he was crying and begging,
我突然意识到我是有选择的
and I realized that I had a choice.
我可以有同情心 我也可以根本不在乎
I could be sympathetic, or I could just not give a shit,
像关灯一样关掉我的良心
turn my compassion off like a light switch.
我选择了后者
And I chose option two.
于是我就继续干♥他♥ 直到我无聊了
So I went on fucking him and fucking with him
就把他丢在了一边
until I got bored, and then I tossed him away.
我后来再也没有开过那个开关
I never turned that switch back on.
我做了一些很糟糕的事
And I did some terrible things.
那只是一个开头
That was just the beginning.
我做了很可怕的事 非常可怕
I did awful things. Really bad. Terrible.
非常邪恶
Really evil.
天
Oh, boy.
我以为你会感兴趣呢
I thought you'd be interested in this,
毕竟你是恶魔呢
being the devil and everything.
我不是恶魔 我只是为恶魔工作
I'm not the devil, I just work for the devil.
那你是魔鬼吗
Oh, so you're a demon?
什么 不 我不是魔鬼 去他们的
What? No! I'm not a demon! Fuck those assholes!
我更应该算是恶魔的执行助手
I'm more of an executive assistant to the devil.
-不错 -的确不错
- Cool. - Yeah, it was cool...
一开始还不错
at first.
但是过了几个世纪
But a few millennia on,
我真的厌倦了这一切
and I'm really just so tired of the whole thing,
说实话
if I'm honest.
我以为我习惯了
I thought I was cut out for this,
但我会做噩梦
but I have bad dreams.
每晚都会做可怕的梦
Horrible dreams. Every night.
我不能安然地接受
All this damnation, it doesn't...
这些地狱诅咒
sit well with me.
我的消化系统快崩溃了
My digestion is shot to fuck.
我只是不知道我还能
I just don't know how much longer
撑多久了
I can keep doing this.