纯粹

扯淡
Bullshit!
我是不会因为某些白♥痴♥设计师
I'm not wearing waders as shoes
最近爱钓鱼就把防水胶靴穿出去的
just cos some designer twat's been fishing.
那么 戒酒怎么样
So, how's sobriety?
好处...
Er, pros...
绿茶是谁要的
Whose was the green tea?
好处 便宜 对皮肤好
Pros, cheap, glowing skin,
-能让你理清思绪... -绿茶是谁要的
- clarity of thought which is... - Who's the green tea?
和丧亲之痛有点像
It's kind of like grieving.
-有第一阶段 就是后悔 -这是茉莉花茶
- There's a stage one, which is regret... - That's jasmine.
-我这是在干什么 -等等 这才是绿茶
- What the fuck am I doing? - Oh, wait, this is the green tea!
抱歉 你把东西放下就好了 让我们...
Sorry, can you just put those down so we can...
-当然 抱歉 -谢谢
- Yeah, sorry. - Thanks.
你能就坐那儿吗
Can you just sit there?
抱歉 安珀 你刚刚说到...
Sorry, Amber, you were saying?
对 抱歉
Oh, sorry.
第二阶段 沾沾自喜 "我肤如凝脂"
Stage two, you got smugness, "My skin is like marble."
第三阶段 自大 "我能一直坚持下去"
Stage three, arrogance, "I could do this for life."
第四阶段 喜形于色
And stage four, you got glee,
"我今晚简直等不及要喝一杯了"
"I cannot wait for a fucking drink tonight!"
但戒了酒你至少能记得
But at least with sobriety you can remember
都睡过哪些人
all your sexual conquests.
问题就在这里
That's the problem.
下一篇其实我想写禁欲主义
I'm actually thinking celibacy for my next piece,
因为四处放炮式的性生活
because the mad scatter-gun approach to having sex
太费劲了
is too much of an effort.
对了 各位 抱歉 这是...
Yeah, everyone, sorry, this is...
这是玛妮
It's Marnie.
玛妮
Marnie.
跟我们介绍下你自己吧
So, tell us about yourself.
大家好 我是玛妮
Hi, I'm Marnie.
然后...
And, uh...
你怎么回事 滚下桌去
What are you, get the fuck off the table!
滚下...
Get off the...
我是个24岁的女人
I'm a 24-year-old woman...
目前住在伦敦
currently living in London.
昨晚有人看《新闻之夜》了吗
Did anyone see Newsnight last night?
他们叫我埃塞尔
大家都觉得我很无趣吗
Does everyone think I'm basic?
你该跟我说话吗
Should you be talking to me?
我只能说说年龄 性别 住址 非常无趣
All I could say was age, sex, location, that's kind of basic,
就像具死尸一样
like I'm a dead body.
你怎么会无趣 那堆蓝色呕吐物还历历在目呢
How can you be basic with Pantone 292C vomit?
顺便说句 呕吐物还在原地呢
Which is still there, by the way.
我今天早上好像看到有番茄苗长出来了
I think I saw a tomato plant growing out of it this morning.
你应该给市政打电♥话♥的
You should call the council.
或者找只狐狸
Or, a fox.
我想要那样吗
Do I want that?
我不记得我的决定了
I can't remember what I decided.
来看看情况如何
Came to see how it's getting on?
很好
Good, yeah.
非常干净
Very clean.
你今晚有安排吗
What are you up to tonight?
没有
Nothing.
和我室友待在家里
Hanging out with the girl I live with.
我们晚上有个酒会 请一些投资人来
We have this drinks thing after, for some investors.
你能留下来参加吗
Can you stick around for it?
好
Yeah.
收到请答复
Rsvp!
你现在可以回去 七点左右回来就好
You can go now, just come back around seven.
很好
Great.
查理:来这里找我
中♥央♥医学图书馆
过来
Come here!
你没有工作吗
Don't you have a job?
在休假
No, sabbatical.
我们为什么要来医学图书馆
Why are we in a medical library?
我是校友 钱不能白花了
Alumni. Get my money's worth.
而且我的阴瑜伽课取消了
And my yin class was cancelled.
-我要是不找点事做就会撸 -撸
- If I don't keep busy, I just fap. - Fap?
自♥慰♥的拟声说法
Onomatopoeic term for masturbating.
我为你查了资料
I was doing some research for you,
帮你找你的病症
to help you with what you are.
谢谢 但我不用你居高临下地说教
Thanks, but I don't need you to mansplain something
说我的脑子在过去十年出了什么问题
that's been going on in my brain for the last ten years.
不 不 我不会的
No, no, I wouldn't.
我明白...
I know...
你了解你自己 我们才刚认识
you know yourself, and you've just met me.
但我想帮你解决你的...
But I want to help you with your...
大脑问题
head.
我不会对你说教的 我只读资料
And I won't be mansplaining, I'll just be reading.
-好吗 -好吧
- All right? - Fine.
但如果国民保健署都不知道
But if the NHS can't tell me,
一个拿着本书的外行人也不会知道
then an unqualified man with a book isn't going to.
是强迫症
Obsessive-compulsive disorder.
不用谢
You're welcome.
我没有强迫症
I don't have OCD.
等等 听我说完
Wait! Just hear me out.
强迫症是一种精神疾病
OCD is a psychiatric disorder
主要表现在强迫思维和强迫行为
characterised by obsessive thoughts and compulsive actions.
我真的很不爱干净 我洗手时间都不够长
I'm really untidy, I don't wash my hands for long enough
我经常忘记熄灭小香薰蜡烛就出门
and I always leave the house with tealights accidentally burning.
我不在乎 因为它们很小 自己会烧灭的
And I don't care because they're little and they just go out!
强迫症表现为反复出现的侵入性念头
Obsessions manifest as recurring, intrusive thoughts,
也就是让人不舒服的想法 画面 或冲动
which are disturbing thoughts, images or ideas.
强迫行为是患者为缓解这些想法造成的焦虑
Compulsions are the actions sufferers carry out to relieve
而做出的行为
the anxiety they cause.
喜欢红酒 搬来伦敦
Liking wine, moving to London,
还有随便闯入一个互助会都不是强迫行为
and gate-crashing random support groups are not compulsions,
只是轻微的求助
they're subtle cries for help.
这里禁止喧哗
No talking!
-抱歉 我们走了 -典型的强迫诱因包括...
- Sorry, we're going. - Typical obsessive things include...
-我们走吧 -污染物 疾病 以及...
- We're going! - Contamination, illness, and...
不好意思 走吧 查理
I'm sorry. Come on, Charlie!
患者还会执迷于暴♥力♥ 谋杀
Sufferers also obsess about violence, murder,
亵渎和性
blasphemy and sex.
什么
What?
强迫性性行为包括对异常行为产生疑虑
Sexual obsessions can include doubts over deviant behaviours,
但也包括 怀疑伴侣不忠或不合适
but also, unfaithfulness or suitability of one's partner
或怀疑性取向
or sexual orientation.
听起来很像我的症状
That sounds like me.
要是我犯罪了怎么办
What if I sinned?
要是我对伴侣不是真爱怎么办
What if I don't really love my partner?
要是我对父母有性♥欲♥怎么办
What if I feel sexual love for a parent?
要是我强♥奸♥了别人怎么办
What if I assaulted someone?
要是我感染了怎么办
What if I'm infected?
要是动物对我有性吸引力怎么办
What if I'm sexually attracted to animals?
要是我的整个人格同一性是错的怎么办
What if my entire personal identity is wrong?
给我看看
Give me this.
强迫症
天呐
Oh, my God.
天呐
Oh, my God!
天呐
Oh, my God!
操
Fuck!
查理 是强迫症
Charlie, it's OCD!
我得了强迫症
I've got OCD!
早就告诉你了 朋友
Told you, kiddo.
我♥操♥ 我♥操♥
Fuck! Fuck!
我♥操♥
Fuck!
昨天 我还会把这想成是一个蛋蛋飞来
Yesterday, that would have been a bollock flying at my head.
而今天 就只是个没洗过的苹果
Today, it's just an unwashed Pink Lady.
我脑子有病 但成千上万的人
I am sick in the head, and there are thousands of other people