纯粹

People don't make amends in person, that's creepy.
不要
Nope.
我发封电邮就好
I'll just send an e-mail.
你需要我给你做早餐吗 我不介意的
Do you want me to make you some breakfast? I don't mind.
不用了 我想我要出门了
No, I'm going out, I think.
昨晚过得很疯狂吗
Oh, was it a mad one last night?
你是嗑嗨了现在还没缓过劲吗
Are you on a come-down?
其实昨晚非常合家欢
It was really PG, actually.
你遇到有意思的人了吗
You meet anyone interesting?
有啊 有一个男的
Yeah, I did, this guy.
如果你需要借用我的床
If you ever need to borrow my bed,
直说就好 因为那个壁橱可塞不下一个男人
just say, because you won't fit a man in that cupboard.
其实他更像是朋友
It's really more of a friends thing.
好吧 是炮♥友♥
Oh, right, with benefits.
性♥交♥ 办事儿
Sexual intercourse, running errands!
不 只是可以聊天的人
No, like, someone I can talk to about stuff.
你可以和我聊任何事
You can talk to me about anything.
好的
Ok.
所以呢
So?
先等等 因为我要去参加那个面试
Maybe not just yet, because I've got this interview thing.
一样 一堆叫凯伦的女人
Oh, same. A load of women called Karen
要来努力打动我
are coming in to try and impress me.
等一下 我和你一起去
Well, wait a minute, I'll come with you.
我希望我能像她一样
I wish I was like her.
她勇于做自己
She is who she is
完全不在乎别人对她的看法
and she doesn't give a fuck what people think of her.
我太在乎了
I give too many.
重要的面试 你感觉怎么样
So, big interview, how are you feeling?
挺好
Fine.
挺激动
Excited.
我在人力部门见过好多这种情况
I see this a lot in HR.
-什么 -即将爆发的恐慌
- What? - Simmering panic.
你的脸 它在颤抖
Yeah, your face, it's shaking.
不 没有
No, it's not.
如果你需要关于焦虑的建议 问我就对了
Well, if you need any tips for anxiety, I'm your gal.
我小时候很容易紧张
I was a very nervous child.
我所有衣服都被我咬破了
I used to chew holes in all my clothes,
我妈还以为家里有蛀虫
Mother thought we had a moth problem.
我知道你应该怎么做
I know what you should do.
把大家都想成是裸体
Just picture everybody naked.
一向如此
Story of my life.
现在 这更像是个悲惨的故事
Well, right now, it's more of a harrowing tale.
《埃塞尔》杂♥志♥ 三楼
你好
Hello.
这不等于...
Doesn't equal...
你能稍微等一下吗
Can you just, just one moment...
嗯 我没事
Yeah, I'm fine.
-能过来一下吗 -好
- Can you just come over here for a moment? - OK.
你来这里做什么
What the fuck are you doing here?
我知道这样很奇怪 但听我解释
I know this is really weird of me, but I can explain.
-那你说吧 -好的
- Go on, then. - OK.
先说拉拉那件事
So, the gay thing first.
对
Yeah...
我当时说你不是我的菜
..When I said you weren't my type...
是因为我喜欢更男性化一点的人
..It's cos I like people who are a bit more masculine.
你是说你想跟我上♥床♥是因为我像男人
Are you saying you tried to get with me cos I look masculine?
还是说因为我不够男性化 所以你不想了
Or you didn't, cos I don't?
后者
The second one.
我说的男性化 是指
And when I say masculine, I mean...
真的男人
..So, they're actually men.
-不是女人 -你是个拉拉观光客
- Not women. - You're a fanny tourist.
如果有这种说法的话 是的
If that's what it's called.
就是这么说的
Yeah, it is.
我真的很抱歉
I'm really sorry.
人们会让我困惑
People confuse me.
我心中一直有个挥之不去的念头
And I've got this thing in my head
我本以为它能解开我的困惑
that I thought would unconfuse me,
所以我当时必须那么做 就是和你一起
so I had to do it, and...that was you.
这不是《爱情岛》真人秀
You know, this isn't Love Island,
你不能对别人这样
you just can't do that to people.
是的 我知道
Yeah, I know.
我肯定是有什么毛病
There must be something wrong with me.
好了 你说完了吗
Right, is that it?
因为我还要写一篇关于好奇型双性恋的文章
Because I've an article to write on bi-curiousity.
还有一件事
There's something else, also.
我还能来这儿实习吗
Is that intern offer still a thing?
-还是说... -你想来这里上班
- Or... - You want to work here?
你说这里需要实习生
You said you needed interns.
我知道我所做的事很过分
I know what I did was fucked up.
-没错 -我通常不会做出那样过分的事
- Yeah. - I don't normally do things as fucked up as that.
虽然最近我做了 但那不是我
Well, recently, I do, but that wasn't me.
这才是我
This is me.
你好
Hello!
我知道你可能觉得我只是个你在酒吧认识的
I know you probably think I'm just some random Scottish person
-苏格兰路人 -本来就是
- that you met at the club. - Yeah.
但如果你给我个机会 我会竭尽全力不搞砸
But, if you gave me a chance, I would try really hard
尽管我已经搞砸了我们上一次相处
not to fuck it up, like I've fucked up our previous interactions.
我愿意做任何事
I'll do anything.
不过上♥床♥除外 因为我很专业的
Nothing sexual, though, cos I'm a professional!
抱歉
Sorry.
就一天
One day.
什么 真的吗
What, seriously?
是的 今天我们真的很需要人手
Yeah, we could actually do with the help today.
而且 我拜托你 如果有人问起
And, for the love of God, if anyone asks,
-就说你是我在领英网上找来的 -好
- I found you on LinkedIn! - OK.
真操蛋 这次别搞砸了
Oh, this is fucked up, don't fuck this up.
不会的 我保证
I won't, I promise.
-你跟我来啊 -好 就来
- Are you going to come with me? - Yeah, mm-hm, yeah, yeah.
行 你就坐这儿吧
Right, we'll set you up here.
辛迪又休假了
Cindy's on holidays again.
好
Cool.
无视这些
Ignore these.
都是免费赠品 她不是性变♥态♥
These are freebies, she's not like some sort of sexual deviant.
知道怎么用座机吗
Do you know how to use a landline?
喂 当然知道了
Hello! Yep.
好吧 我还有事要忙 你能好好接电♥话♥
Right, well, I have shit to do so can you just answer the phones
尽量表现正常点吗
and try to be normal?
没问题
Yeah.
再次谢谢你
Thanks again for this.
如果你希望我表现正常
If you want me to be normal,
就别把我安排在一张放满生殖器的桌子前
then maybe don't seat me at a desk covered in genitals.
这样一点都不正常
That's not normal.
就是...嗯
Just, ah...yeah.
早上好 同事
Morning, colleague.
我是玛妮
I'm Marnie.
我知道 我们见过 你就是那个...
Yeah, we met. You're the one who...
不 我们还是看在安珀的份上
Oh, no, just, maybe we could forget about that,
忘记那段经历吧
because of the Amber thing.
好的
Ok.
你好 陌生人
Hello, stranger.
很高兴认识你
Nice to meet you.
初次见面 请多多指教
For the first time ever.
-能不这样吗 -我不会了
- Can you not? - Yeah, I won't.
有人想喝茶吗
Does anyone want tea?
泡茶是你的工作
That's you, the tea.
好 当然
Oh, yeah, sure.
你最好问问大家都想喝什么
You better ask people what they want.
因为有些人可不是约克郡茶加一颗糖就能满足的
cos Yorkshire and one isn't good enough for some people.
不过我要来一杯这个
I'll have one, though.
-你能... -茶 是 我正在弄
- Can you do...? - Tea! Yeah, I'm on it.
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