纯粹

She's doing it right now, she's perving in her head,
意淫你们的私处 还有她想怎么把玩它们
thinking about all your bits and what she wants to do with them.
而且她必须那么做 不管情境如何
And she has to do it, no matter what it is,
所以她和你们都做了
and that's why she's done stuff with you.
就算还没有 她也想要
Even if she hasn't, she wants to.
闭嘴 海伦
Shut the fuck up, Helen!
菜要凉了
It's going to get cold...
-对 吃饭吧 -盘子拿过来
- Yeah, come on. - Yeah. Plates.
煮得不错
Nicely done.
你一定得把菜谱发给我
You'll, er, have to send me the recipe.
这看上去
This looks...
-她曾经让我露胸给她看 -操
- You know, she asked to see my breasts. - Fuck...
-我说好吧 -天呐
- And I was like, fine. - Jesus Christ.
因为我是你朋友 我愿意为你这样做
Because I'm your friend and I would do that for you.
因为我知道她病得多重 所以她才
Cos I know how sick she is and I know that's why
-不停看你们 -那就把自己遮严实
- she won't stop looking at you all... - Cover yourself up then!
看 她就是想摸它们
See, she just wants to touch them...
我有强迫症
Argh, I have OCD!
我会突然有侵入性念头 那让我很焦虑
I have intrusive sexual thoughts that give me really bad anxiety!
没错 我意淫过你们所有人
Yes, I've thought about you all.
我不想谈论这个 所以...
No, I don't want to talk about it, so...
你们安静喝茶吧
Enjoy your fucking tea.
用餐愉快
Bon appetit.
不错
It's good.
大多数人是因为沙门氏菌毁掉晚宴 我不是
Most people ruin dinner parties with salmonella, not me.
如果你来我家 让你恶心的不是食物
If you come to my house, it's not the food that gives you nausea,
而是女主人惊人的大剖白
it's the shocking revelations about the host.
我早上再收拾吧 谢琳
Oh, I'll do it in the morning, Shereen.
-没关系 -我说了我来
- Oh, it's fine. - I said I'll do it!
-抱歉 -不用道歉
- Sorry. - Don't apologise!
你为什么总对别人这么客气
Why are you so nice to people?
你让他们肆意欺负你
You let them walk all over you.
这么做不会让他们喜欢你 这太可悲了
It's not going to make them like you, it's fucking depressing!
为自己出头
Stand up for yourself!
抱歉
Sorry.
有人吗
Hello?
这边
In here.
想来点吗
Want some?
事实上 你家有牛奶吗
Actually, you don't have any milk, do you?
牛奶
Milk?
嗯
Yeah.
有
Yeah.
谢了 突然很想喝
Thanks, just had a hankering.
干杯
Cheers.
地方不错
It's a nice place.
房♥间很宽敞
Good-sized rooms.
我带你看一圈 这是厨房♥ 很明显
I'll give you a tour. Kitchen, obviously.
温室 酒吧
Conservatory, snug.
她回短♥信♥了吗
Has she text back yet?
没 除非她把在我通讯录里的名字改成了莫
Nope, not unless she's somehow changed her name to Mo in my phone
并且想知道她正要扔的这个台灯
and wants to know if I want this lovely table lamp
我想不想要
she's getting rid of.
有点俗气
Bit chintzy.
我说好
I said yeah.
干得好
Well done.
有爱尔兰风格
It's Irish chic.
今晚好尴尬
That was weird.
至少我们没有食物中毒
Well, at least we didn't get food poisoning.
现在下定论还早呢
There's still time.
你好 我是安珀
Hello, Amber speaking.
你打电♥话♥是这个声音啊
Oh, is that your phone voice?
南希 你好
Nancy, hi.
你想过来吗
Do you want to come round?
我还在外面
I'm still out, actually.
好吧 那改天吧
OK. Well, another time, then.
我下周可以
I could do next week.
但我下周工作有点满
Yeah, just that work's a bit full-on next week, so...
可不是吗 我这边工作也是忙疯了
Oh, tell me about it! Work is absolutely madness here.
她完全在利用你 你个白♥痴♥
She's totally using you, you idiot.
别去
Don't do it!
别去 拒绝她
Don't do it, just say no.
我一小时后可以
I could do, say, an hour?
你意志力真薄弱
You are weak, mate!
太弱了
So weak!
很好
Great.
可不是吗
Isn't it just?
很好 那...喂
Great, so... Hello?
你是谁
Who are you?
这就像他们换人演邦德一样 我不喜欢
It's like when they change Bonds, I don't like it.
不一样 这是我在玩弄她
No, cos what this is is I'm playing her.
好吗 我不会去她家的
OK? I'm not going to go to hers,
她会白等一晚上
and she's going to be waiting, right,
我则穿着睡衣舒舒服服坐在家里的沙发上
and I'm going to be here on the couch in my PJs,
而不是在她家 她很可能在家里没穿衣服
not at her house, where she is probably naked.
-等等 -你要去...
- One second. - Just going to...
你要去干嘛
Just going to what?
这里是 卧室
And...bedroom.
很漂亮
Oh, it's nice.
非常整洁
Very tidy.
很宽敞
It's a good size.
床边还有平板电脑 很贪玩嘛
Oh, iPad by the bed - naughty.
睡前不应该玩平板 因为那是蓝♥光♥
Shouldn't use that before you go to sleep cos it's blue light
会越看越精神 妨碍你睡眠
and it keeps you up, you know, disturbs your sleep...
关键性能指标
Key performance indicator.
不能让其他人知道
And no-one can find out.
我连我妈都不说
Mum's the word.
-不是因为你年龄... -别出声
- Not cos you're, you know... - Yeah, sh!
快脱掉
Come on.
我不知道能否做到
I don't know if I can.
如果你是担心工作 我会很小心的
If you're worried about work, I'll be very discreet.
不 我是指身体上
No, like, physically.
我有点障碍 不确定能不能"起来"
I've got a bit of a problem - don't know if it works.
你知道的 这个
You know me, this.
我是说 有时可以 只是不确定几时
I mean, it works sometimes, I just don't really know when.
挺反复无常的
It's quite inconsistent.
我知道了
I see.
我不希望你以为是自己的问题
Yeah, I just don't want you to think that it's you.
-我知道不是我的问题 -绝对不是因为你
- I know it's not me. - It's definitely, definitely not you.
嗯
Yep, yep.
-我... -你想怎么做 查理
- I... - What do you want to do, Charlie?
如果你还想发生点什么
Well, if you still want to do something,
-那就只能是我为你服务 -好吧
- then it would have to be me doing stuff to you. - Right.
那应该会有帮助 你是在帮我
That would probably help, you'd be doing me a favour.
乐意帮忙
Happy to help.
海伦 海伦
Helen, Helen!
-干嘛 -你包包放座位上了
- What? - Your bag's on the seat.
抱歉
Oh, sorry.
你刚跟她说什么了
What did you just say to her?
我说抱歉 因为我包包放座位上了
I said I was sorry cos my bag was on the seat.
我都不知道你会这个词
Didn't know you knew that word.
-我会 -那或许你该说出来
- Well, I do. - Maybe you should say it, then.
-你才应该说 -为什么该由我说
- You should say it. - Why should I say it?
你才是表现得像个发疯贱婊的人
You're the one that behaved like a massive bitch.
真不敢相信你做出那种事
I can't believe you did that!
我坐了五百英里车 从大老远来看你
I travelled, like, 500 miles to come and see you!
宣言者乐队开口了 他们宣言了一堆屁话
The Proclaimers are in and they're proclaiming a load of shite!
你无视我
You just ignored me.
你这人很难让人无视 因为你所做的每件事
Pretty hard to ignore you when everything you do
都是要引人注目
is so somebody will look at you.
现在大家在注目的是你
Yeah, well everyone's looking at you now
所以你不必担心那个了