疯狂老爸箴言录

$#*! My Dad Says S01E16

Part 4 May 3, 2020, 11:05 p.m.

真不敢相信我们要这么做
I can't believe we're about to do this.
我也是但是你知道邦尼
Me neither, but you know, Bonnie,
就像我们一直说的
it's like we've always said.
万事皆有因
Everything happens for a reason.
至理名言啊
That's so true.
我们一直想要孩子都一年多了
I mean, we've been talking about this pregnancy for a year,
然后突然之间凯蒂就这么出现了
and then, suddenly, Katie shows up out of the blue.
-没错还有大咪♥咪♥ -你给我记住
- Yeah, with her big boobs. - You know what?
以后别说这个
You need to stop saying that.
-抱歉抱歉 -如果咱俩换位思考一下
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - if it were reversed--
我懂我懂我体谅你
I know, I'm putting myself in your shoes.
没错我谢谢你
Yes, thank you. Thank you.
但你是对的
But you're right.
万事皆有因
Everything happens for a reason.
就这么干
We're doing it.
就用前任恶魔上司的卵子吧
We're having the spawn of our former evil boss.
敬命运
To fate.
干杯
Cheers.
咱们得把卵子放进冷藏箱里
We should put those eggs in the freezer.
好主意
Good idea.
天哪
Oh, my god.
斗牛犬把我的宝宝吃了
The bulldog ate my baby!
告诉过你他行的嘛
I told you he could do it!
唐
Don.
你在这儿干嘛呢
What are you doing here?
找罗斯玛丽她在哪儿
Looking for rosemary. Where is she?
跟你无关
None of your business.
我喜欢罗斯玛丽
Look, I like Rosemary.
但我从未把我的心意说出口
And I've done everything short of telling her
或者表现出来
or acting like it.
但我要改变这局面
Now that's gonna change.
你可得给我让道
And I need you out of the picture.
老艾我可是百万富翁
Ed, I'm a millionaire.
我没空跟你闲扯
I don't have time for this.
之前我一直对你客客气气
I've been very nice up until now.
但你可别得寸进尺
But you don't want to mess with me.
不然呢
Or what?
孩子们欢迎大家
Okay, kids, welcome.
今天真正的熊猫还不能来
Now, today, we don't have the actual panda.
不但没关系啊
No, but it's okay.
他从遥远的中国一路奔波
He had a very, very long trip from china,
还需要一点时间
and it's gonna take him a little while
来适应他的新家
to get used to his new home.
但今天有一位特别嘉宾
But we have a very special guest for you today.
熊猫是濒危动物
Now, the panda is endangered, which means
所以我们要非常小心的对待他对吧
we have to treat him very, very carefully, right?
拜托不要是老爸不要是老爸
Please don't be dad. Please don't be dad.
罗斯玛丽
Rosemary.
是我老艾
It's me, Ed.
惨了大家晚安
All right. Night, everybody.
老艾你在这儿干吗
Ed, what are you doing here?
我来是要告诉你一件事
I came to tell you something.
别听他的
Don't listen to him.
他脑子有问题
He's a maniac.
好吧孩子们
All right, then, children.
在野外可能会发生这种情况
This sometimes happens in the wild.
当两个非常不同的物种
When two very different species are introduced
在同一个栖息地遇上时
into the same habitat.
比如一只熊猫和
Such as a panda and a...
一只老鹰
An eagle.
但没有什么
But there is nothing--
没有什么可害怕的
Nothing to be frightened of.
大自然就是这么神秘
Nature can be mysterious.
-快走快走 -罗斯玛丽
- Out, out, out, out! - Rosemary!
-感谢大家光临 -罗斯玛丽
- Thanks for coming! - Rosemary!
罗斯玛丽
Rosemary.
老艾你疯了吗
Ed, are you insane?!
没有但我可能有轻微脑震荡
No, but I may have a tiny concussion.
你想什么呢
What is wrong with you?
到这来干吗
What are you doing here?
你不能就这么冲进来暴打我的约会对象
You can't just swoop in here and beat up my date!
那你就不该跟他约会
Well, you shouldn't be dating him.
他配不上你
He's wrong for you.
他是个自大狂
He's an arrogant ass.
老艾你没有权利
Ed, you have no right to tell me
对我的约会对象指指点点
who I can and cannot date.
昨天你说的非常清楚了
You made it very clear yesterday
你还想和其他人约会
that you wanted to see other people.
我改主意了
I changed my mind.
你什么意思
Well, what does that mean?
我不想找乐子
I don't wanna have fun.
我想和你在一起
I wanna be with you.
万分感谢啊老艾
Thank you, Ed.
你知道我什么意思
Well, I-- you know what I mean.
我早该告诉你的
I should've told you,
但我怕出丑
but I was afraid of looking foolish.
那你今晚还真是风度翩翩
Well, you dodged that bullet.
我知道打扮成一只老鹰
I know that dressing up like an eagle
在一群孩子面前
and beating the crap out of a panda
把一只熊猫暴打一通
in front of a bunch of kids
不是说这事儿的最好时机
is not the best way of telling you.
但我很久很久没有对一个女人
But I haven't felt this way about a woman
有这种感觉了
in a long, long time.
真的吗
Really?
我不知道该说什么
I don't know what to say.
也从未有男人为我做这种事
I've never had a man do anything so...
这种傻事
Stupid for me before.
你跟我在一起
You stick with me,
我会天天做傻事
I'll do lots of stupid things.
你怎么想
What do you say?
你想跟我专一的交往吗
You wanna go exclusive?
快说啊我要被电♥棍♥打了
Spit it out! I'm about to be tasered.
好好你这个傻瓜
Yes, yes, you crazy idiot!
我想跟你专一的交往
I will be exclusive with you.
好的
All right.
罗斯玛丽
Rosemary.
罗斯
Rose--
等着我罗斯玛丽
Wait for me, Rosemary!
等着我
Wait...for me!