基和皮尔（2012）

It's just way too much pressure to provide all of the fun.
黑人得当全场笑点担当的责任实在是太重
Yes!
没错
Oh you can't Way too much pressure.
你无法... 压力山大啊
You cannot cross the dance floor at all.
我们重要到无法从舞池中♥央♥穿过
If I need a drink at one of these parties,
如果我在这种派对上想拿杯酒
I will go around the perimeter of the party.
我必须得绕场地的外♥围♥过去拿
'Cause you know if you go through this
因为如果我直接从中♥央♥走
you will have a group of white people around you
就会有一群白人一拥而上围绕着你
talking about, "Go, Jordan! Go, Jordan! Go, Jordan!"
念叨着"乔丹 来一个 来一个 来一个"
That's true.
这是真的
And that used to happen to me
我以前还在读书那会
all the time when I was in school.
也总会碰到这种事
I never even noticed until one of my friends - a white friend -
我也从没意识到 直到有次我一个白人朋友
I was, like, 40 minutes late for a party one time.
我那一次去派对大概迟到了40分钟
And I show up, I come in the front door,
我一到场 打开正门准备进去
my friend's like, "Oh, my God,
我朋友就像这样"天啊
thank God you're here."
谢天谢地你终于到了"
There was, like, a group of white people sitting around
当时里面有一群白人就这么围坐一圈
for 40 minutes waiting for the black guy to show up.
干坐了40分钟 就等搞笑的黑人到场
Just got your check. Yeah.
刚收到工资吗 对啊
Damn.
操
Look how much I lost in taxes.
薪水被扣了一大笔税
Damn government! Look at that.
你妈♥逼♥美国政♥府♥ 你看看
在2009年的反税收抗♥议♥中 获得大量支持者
"茶党"其实是一个草根运动的名称
Might as well join the Tea Party.
我♥干♥脆加入茶党算了
Excuse me. What did you just say?
抱歉 请问您刚才说了什么
"Might as well join the Tea Party."
"干脆加入茶党算了"
Come with me. Whoa! What's going on?
您这边请 等等 这是怎么回事
You are the chosen one.
您是我们的救世主
What the hell are you talking about, man?
你是在说什么东东啊 兄弟
We've been waiting for you. Waiting for me? What?
我们期盼您的到来已久 等我吗 什么鬼
What the hell is this? I found him.
这他妈是什么鬼 我找到他了
Tell them what you were telling your friend.
再复述一次您刚才跟朋友说的话
I hate taxes?
我恨税收吗
理念是为国家的主人 美国人♥民♥们发声
茶党对任何影响美国的议题都有参与
What do you find appealing about the politics of the Tea Party?
那您觉得茶党哪些政纲吸引了您呢
I'm not a politician. A real man of the people.
我不是政♥治♥家啊 真正的人♥民♥公仆
How do you feel about the Second Amendment?
您对宪法第二修正案的看法呢[拥枪权]
I don't want this.
我不想要这个...
与奥巴马主张的管制枪♥支♥计划背道而驰
茶党支持人♥民♥拥有拥枪权
Taken away from you, just like the rest of us.
权利被人夺走 跟我们大家想法一致
One of many issues you're passionate about.
你很在乎的议题之一
Oh! Smile.
笑一个
是谋杀
堕胎不是个选择
Now, come meet your public. Public?
来 跟选民打打招呼 什么选民
What are you talking about? I ain't got no public.
你说什么呢 我哪有什么选民
What is this?
这是什么鬼
Ladies and gentlemen,
女士们先生们
the new leader of the Minnesota Tea Party
我们明尼苏达州茶党运动分部的新领导
and the next president of the United States.
以及将会成为美国下一任总统的...
What's your name? Terrell Jackson.
您叫什么名字 特勒尔·杰克逊
Perfect. Terrell Jackson!
完美 欢迎特勒尔·杰克逊
Look, look, I don't want any part of this, all right?
各位 我完全不想跟这个沾边
You hate the government. That's great!
你痛恨政♥府♥ 太好了
Show us your gun again!
再秀你的枪给我们看看
Look, y'all just too creepy.
你们真的太奇葩了
You can have this back.
你们可以把这枪拿回去
找个黑人比较不显得白人至上 有包容性
九♥成♥的茶党支持者是白人 尤以中产中年男性为多
Great! Where are we gonna find another black guy?
这下好了 我们上哪再找个黑人充门面啊
Hey, baby.
宝贝
Wake up.
该起床啦
What time is it?
几点了
What are you doing? Good morning.
你在干嘛 早安啊
Come on, girl. It's time to get up.
起来啦 姑娘 太阳晒屁♥股♥了
Let's go!
来吧
Delete the picture, motherfucker!
把照片删了 操♥你♥妈♥的
Okay, um, uh, delete.
好的 小的立马删掉
Deleting it. Um, delete photo.
在删了 删掉照片
Okay.
好了
It's gone. It's all gone.
没了 删掉了
Thanks, baby. Mm.
谢谢你 宝贝
How do you want your eggs?
你的早餐鸡蛋要吃哪种
Scrambled.
炒蛋
One of the hardest jobs in the military
军方最难的工作之一
has to be military recruiter.
必须是募兵人员
That is tough. That's a tough one all right.
太难了 这岗位的确是很难
Because you have to look somebody in the eye
因为你得看着某个人的双眼
and tell them their first job out of high school
跟他说他高中毕业后第一份工作
is getting shot at. Right.
就是被人突突突 对
You know, that's-- that is hard.
这的确是很有难度
Yeah, or, like, to appeal to kids,
对啊 比如为了吸引年轻人
广♥告♥名称为"Contest of Honor"
美国海军2006年摄制的科幻募兵广♥告♥
they made that one commercial where there's, like, the marine
他们海军拍了一只广♥告♥
going, and he's going through a futuristic obstacle course.
一名海军士兵先爬过未来感十足的障碍
And then he gets past the pendulums,
在男主角爬过旋转齿轮障碍物后
And then there's a rock
顶端有一块石头
with what appears to be Excalibur in it.
然后上面有把类似亚瑟王神剑的东西
Oh, and he's going to need Excalibur
他会需要亚瑟王神剑
because he's about to fight a lava demon.
是因为他得大战熔岩恶魔
With a fire whip!
它还有火焰鞭
Yes.
是的
Yes.
没错
But I understand it a little bit
但我有点理解他们
because you have to cater the commercials
因为你拍广♥告♥得针对
to certain demographics.
你想要的特定受众群
And right now, with the recent--
像现在 由于最近...
"长官不得主动问"与"你不说就不会驱逐你"
在2011年之前 同性恋并不能公开服役
you know, the repeal of "Don't ask, don't tell.",
废除军方多年以来的"不问不说"政策
there's a whole new demographic out there
现在市面上又多了无数"待募基兵"
that they can recruit. Sure, sure.
等着他们招募入军中 的确是
A whole lot of flowers to be plucked.
无数"基草"等军方采
Yes.
是的
Sgt. Crandall, United States Army recruiter.
在下克兰多尔中士 美国陆军募兵员
How y'all doing?
各位今日好吗
This is my associate Sgt. Graham Packs.
这是我的同事 格雷厄姆·派克斯中士
Nice beat, gentlemen.
跳得不错哦 各位先生们
We wanna talk to you about your future,
我们想跟你们聊聊你们的未来
and where you fit in the United States Army, y'all!
以及你们加入美国陆军的情况
Yeah, in case you haven't heard,
怕你们还没听说
we are asking, and you're telling.
现在军方是"主动问 您请说"
That's right, no restrictions, man.
没错 再也没有限制
You gonna be surrounded by dudes all day.
你们可以整日被汉子们包围
Y'all can exercise together. You can shower together.
你们可以一起运动 一起洗澡
Talking 'bout soap, water-- the works!
无论是"肥皂"还是"戏水" 全套服务
Now I know what you're thinking.
我知道你们在想什么
"The army's dangerous."
"军队太危险了"
But the fact of the matter is everything's dangerous.
可事实上 世上什么不危险啊
All depends on what your definition of the word "danger" is.
一切在于你们心中对危险的定义
Oh, here we go!
来了
We got a friend. All right.
我们的朋友来了
Hey! Navy already got him.
海军已经把他包了
But you're better off in the army
但你们来陆军会更好
'cause we gonna get you in the best shape
我们会让你们练出最棒的身材
in your whole life!
同性恋最爱练的哦
Whoo! Talking 'bout a sixpack. Blip!
平常说着什么六块腹肌 我捏
Gonna give you an eightpacks. Sclip!
我们能让你练出八块腹肌 我摸
Hey, we'll even give you a jet pack.
我们还会发火箭喷气背包[腹肌]
That's a joke, man. He a joke, he a funny guy.
开玩笑的 他这人爱搞笑
We ain't got jet packs.
我们没有喷气背包
Oh, that's my cut, man!
我发功的时刻到了