基和皮尔（2012）

不要 我们都要点艾丽姿
Alize does not exist in this world.
这个世界里没有艾丽姿
Kanye the Giant slaps that bitch.
侃爷扇了这八婆一巴掌
Kanye the Giant attempts
巨人侃爷试图
to slap the bartender. Here.
要扇酒保巴掌 来
The bartender is half-Hobbit
酒保有半霍比特人血统
and very nimble,
非常敏捷
so you're going to have to roll an 18 or above to hit.
需要掷到18点以上才能击中
20. Blip.
20点[最高点数] 啪
Slap that Hobbit's dick off, yo.
把这个霍比特人的屌♥都拍飞了
Okay, Gollin the Cleric,
好的 牧师高伦
would you care to restrain Kanye the Giant
你愿意制止巨人侃爷的行为
before the town guard is called?
以免引来城镇守卫吗
Uh, I grab money out of the register.
我一把抓走收银台里的钱
But-- but-- but Gollin the Cleric is lawful good.
但 但牧师高伦是守序善良阵营的人
This act of thievery would dishonor his gods.
窃盗的行为是在亵渎他信奉的神祇
Hey, man.
兄弟
The only gods is money and bitches, dude.
世上唯一的神就是银子跟马子好吗
Ah! I accept Kanye the Giant's gods, and, uh...
我接受巨人侃爷的神祇
yeah, I-I-I steal some of the money too.
我 我也要偷一点钱
You too?
你也这样吗
Okay, would you now like to continue your quest
好 那你们现在愿意继续任务
for the Lance of Caldahar? Fellas...
消灭邪恶卡尔达哈长矛手吗 兄弟们
we came here for bitches.
我们来这是为了搞马子
Where the bitches at?
妞们都在哪呢
All right, you see a bevy of well-endowed wenches.
好 你们见到了一群身材姣好的姑娘们
Great, I grab them bitches and we all go in my SUV.
赞 我抓住这群妞 我们回到我车上
Fine. Kanye the Giant, Udar the Dwarf,
行 巨人侃爷 矮人乌达
and Gollin the Cleric climb into his SUV
以及牧师高伦进入侃爷的SUV车
with their bitches and their ill-gotten gains.
带着马子们以及不义之财
And our Alize.
还有我们的艾丽姿
Plus Kanye the Giant puts his demo CD
另外 巨人侃爷把他的样本唱片
in the CD player No, he doesn't.
放入播放机... 他没有
There are no CDs in this world!
这个世界里没有光盘
You know what?
这样吧
Do whatever you want.
你们爱干嘛干嘛
All right.
好啦
I guess I'm the Dungeon Master now.
看来现在我是地下城主了
The Eye of Ona opens up...
欧娜之眼睁开
16 titties fall out.
16点 妞们奶♥子♥露出来了
Okay, so occasionally Keegan and I will be recognized
我偶尔跟基根会在路上
on the street. Occasionally.
被人认出来 偶尔
Occasionally happens. Occasionally, yeah
偶尔会发生 真的就偶尔
Uh, uh, and it's always by the--
而且永远都是被
by the same particular kind of guy, every single time.
某一种类型的家伙给认出来 每一次都是
Yes, this dude has-- wears suit pants and high tops.
这种家伙通常都穿着西装裤加高帮鞋
Mm-hmm, or conversely,
或者是相反的
sweat pants and polished dress shoes.
运动裤加磨亮的皮鞋
One or the other. One or the other.
永远都是这两种中的一种
And you can tell, he doesn't know our names.
你也看得出来 他记不得我们的名字
'Cause my man just talk about,
因为他就会
"Yeah, oh, yay! That's what I-- yeah, yeah!
"对嘛 我就知... 对嘛"
"That's my shit, dog."
"对嘛 兄弟"
But then inevitably-- inevitably he will say this--
但无论如何 他永远都会说这句
"Yo, but ideally, dog, ideally...
"如果理想的话 兄弟
We could do some together, man.
咱们可以一起搞一番事业啊 兄弟
Ideally."
理想的话"
Never met him before!
从没见过这个人
Never seen the man before a day in my life.
那次之前 从未见过这个人
"Straight up, but, yo, I'm trying to get what you doin'.
"说真的 我也想进你做的那个
I'm tryin' to do what you doin'.
就是你做的那个工作
What you are, where you at, where you at.
你那样儿 你那样儿的
So ideally, ideally, I be doin' what you doin' right now."
所以理想的话 我现在也在做你的工作"
Why "Ideally"? Why "Ideally"?
为什么要"理想的话"
Of course, "Ideally"! Of course.
当然是"理想的话"才可能啊 当然
Ideally, I want to wake up tomorrow
理想的话 我还希望明早起床
and have my penis intact. Ideally!
我的鸡鸡还安然无恙连在身上呢
Ideally, you would be wearing shoes that match your pants,
理想的话 你会穿着跟你裤子搭的鞋子啊
motherfucker. Right. Exactly.
傻♥逼♥ 没错
Oh, my God. So it's definitely happening?
天啊 这事真成了吗
We're making a record?
我们要做张唱片
Oh, no, I promise it's gonna be a hit.
不会的 我保证绝对会大卖♥♥
Hey, no, man. Thank you.
不用客气 是我谢你才对
What's up, my man?
你好吗 好兄弟
I heard about your record deal, dog.
我听说你的唱片约了 兄弟
You gonna keep it real, now, right, right?
你会跟我实话实说 对吧 对吧
You're gonna stay true to your roots, right?
你不会发达了就忘了本吧
You ain't gonna let down your boy-- your boy Dwayne.
你不会丢下你兄弟 好兄弟德韦恩
Dwayne Washington. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
德韦恩·华盛顿 对对对
Ramsey Junior High--
拉姆齐初中同学
If it ain't Craig, the man of the hour, homie.
这不是当红炸子鸡 克雷格嘛 兄弟
You remember me, I'm Teresa's cousin.
还记得我吧 特蕾莎的表弟
You gonna keep it real?
你有好事不会瞒我吧
Yeah, definitely gonna keep it real, man.
我绝对会坦诚以待 朋友
So, yeah... What up? What up?
所以... 大家好 大家好
It's my favorite Craig, mmhmm. I don't know you, man.
这不是我最亲的克雷格吗 我不认识你啊
You don't know me?
还你不认识我
Shit, is that how it's gonna be, Craig?
靠 发达了就这样吗 克雷格
No, I really don't know you.
不是 可是我真心不认识你
You changed.
你变了
All right, you good, you good.
好了 还有事吗 没事了吧
Craig's phone.
克雷格的电♥话♥
Hey, youngblood.
小猛♥男♥
My girls take care of you, you take care of me.
我的姑娘"照顾"你 你再照顾我[鸡头]
Oh, all right. All right.
好吧 好吧
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, all right.
好耶
Hello, Craig's phone.
您好 这里是克雷格的电♥话♥
It's for you, brother.
找你的 兄弟
Aww. Thanks, man. Thanks. All right, hello?
谢谢你 兄弟 谢谢你 你好
Yeah.
是的
It fell through?
失败了吗
It's not happening?
计划流产了
Damn, man...
靠 兄弟
No, it's all right. Thanks anyway.
算了 没关系 还是谢谢你
Sorry, everybod--
抱歉 各...
Damn.
哇靠
Good evening, my fellow Americans.
晚上好 各位美国民众们
Now before we begin, I'd like to once again introduce you
在今日开始前 我想再次向大家介绍
to my anger translator, Luther. Hi.
我的愤怒翻译官 卢瑟 大家好
Now this November, I want each and every one of you
今年十一月 我希望全国每一位人♥民♥
to ask yourselves, "What has changed in the last four years?"
都扪心自问 "过去四年有些什么改变"
Who killed Osama Bin Laden?
是谁把奥萨马·本·拉♥登♥给干掉了
What has my administration accomplished?
我所带领的行政团队做到了什么
Did we accomplish killing America's biggest enemy?
我们做到干掉美国最大敌人这事吗
Uh, check, did that, boom!
做完了 打勾勾
In 2011 alone,
光在2011年
we created more jobs than George W. Bush did
我们就创造了超越小布♥什♥政♥府♥
in all eight years of his office.
八年任期内所创造的工作岗位总量
Except for "Osama Bin Laden hunter,"
除了"奥萨马·本·拉♥登♥猎人"
because that job don't exist anymore,
因为这个工作岗位已经不存在了
'Cause I went over there, and I killed him in his face.
因为我去了那边 把他爆头了
We helped make health care
我们协助让
accessible to more Americans than ever before.
史上总数最多的美国人都能享用健保
I'm sorry, what'd you say?
抱歉 你说什么
Your World Trade Center hurts?
你的世贸大厦疼吗
Then why don't you take two dead Bin Ladens
你为什么不吃两片"本·拉♥登♥"
and call me in the morning, biz-itch?
然后明天再打给我看好了没 小婊♥子♥
This election, make the decision
这次总统大选[播放时还没投票]
that you think best serves the future of this country.
我希望大家仔细考量怎么选择对国家最好
Or you can eat a dum-dum sandwich
或者你可以吃个傻♥逼♥三明治
and just vote for the person who didn't kill Osama Bin Laden.