基和皮尔（2012）

Not a violent bone in my body. - I just walked right on,
身体里没有一根反骨 他跟我说我就上船了
no big deal.
小事一桩
Never seen a boat in my life.
反正这辈子从没见过船
'Scuse me. I think we're ready to order.
不好意思 我们准备好点餐了
Well, um, I'm sorry.
抱歉
That's not how things work in this establishment.
本店不兴这套
Someone will come to you.
要等服务员来问你才能点餐
Yes, we're sorry. No-- no problem.
好的 对不起啊 没问题
What was that? What?
你刚才是干嘛 怎么了
Well, where was black Jeff?
黑杰夫上哪去了
"Black Jeff"?
什么"黑杰夫"
Yeah, black Jeff.
对啊 黑杰夫
I read somewhere that when you date a biracial guy,
我在哪里读过 男朋友是混血儿时
you're supposed to get the best of both worlds,
你能享受到"黑白"两道的福利
so there are white-Jeff situations
所以有时候就需要"白杰夫"出马
and there are black-Jeff situations,
而有时候就需要"黑杰夫"来摆平
and that was definitely a black-Jeff situation.
刚才绝对是黑杰夫出马的时刻
Oh. Okay.
懂 知道了
Hi, folks, I'm so sorry for the wait.
两位 抱歉让您久等了
Can I get you bottled or tap water for the table this evening?
请问您是要瓶装水还是自来水呢
How 'bout I bottle your ass and kick it
你说老子把你的菊花塞进瓶子里
down the stairs, ma? We've been waitin' half an hour
一脚踹楼下如何 我们他妈等了半小时
for one o' you motherers to show up!
就等你们其中一个傻♥逼♥来伺候我们
God, I'm so-- I'm so sorry. I'll get you a bottle
抱歉 十分抱歉 我立刻给你们
of our finest premium water, on the house.
上本店最好的上等瓶装水 免费赠送
That's what I said, bitch! What are you doing?
老子就是这意思 你个渣渣 你干嘛这样
Black Jeff. That was black Jeff.
黑杰夫 刚才是黑杰夫啊
But he was just trying to help us.
人家只是想服务我们
Oh, so, white Jeff? Yes.
所以应该是白杰夫吗 对啊
Good evening. I'm sorry to bother you two.
晚上好 抱歉打扰两位贵客
I am the maitre d' here at Chez Henri.
我是本餐厅的领班
Oh, yes, uh, what is it?
好的 请问有什么事
I am so sorry to disturb you both,
打扰两位实在是很抱歉
but our establishment has a certain dress code,
但本店对着装有一些规定
and madame's, um,
而这位女士的...
decolletage is inappropriate.
事业线有些不合宜
Oh, my God. We're-- we're very sorry.
天啊 真的很抱歉
We didn't know there was a dress code.
我们不知道还有着装规定
We'll certainly remember for the next time. Black Jeff.
我们下次绝对会记得 黑杰夫
But there ain't gonna be no next time for you!
但你♥他♥妈♥还能活到下次吗
Looking at my woman, and her-- her ch--
敢看我马子的...
deco-- chock-- "chockalage," Or whatever you said, man!
事 试液 湿页线 还是你说的那个什么词
Is there a problem here?
有什么问题吗
Okay, see, it was really a simple misunderstanding.
没有 单纯只是有点小误会
It all started
事情的开始
with that motherer right there,
都是这个狗逼先惹事害的
who was disrespectin' myself and my girl,
他对我跟我的妞不尊敬
but we really love this guy,
但我们超喜欢这位服务员
and he gave us exceptional service.
他给了我们宾至如归的服务
We're gonna have to ask you to leave.
我们得请两位离开了
You have to ask me to leave?
你还要请我离开了吗
Oh, you gonna have to ask the black man to leave? Huh?
你现在还要赶黑人出去了吗
Actually, you don't have to ask us to leave.
其实不用你们来"送客"
'Cause we're going to see ourselves out.
因为我们正打算自己飘走
And we ain't never comin' back again!
我们这辈子绝对不会再光顾了
Though we really appreciate your help.
但我们真的很谢谢你的服务
Oh, lo siento mucho. Watch yo ass, man!
非常抱歉[西语] 你看路啊 傻♥逼♥
Let us reimburse you for that breakage, okay?
弄碎的东西我们会赔偿 好吗
Right after I burn this whole place
等老子把你这家店
to the motherin' ground with everybody inside of it!
连着里面的人统统烧成渣之后
By which I mean you're going to get
我的意思就是我准备上
a very negative review on Yelp.
点评网站给你们超超超差评
All right, so we get most of our knowledge of history from movies.
我们大多数时候都是通过电影来学历史
Yeah, and we have noticed that, you know,
是的 然后我们发现
not a lot of, uh, black movies about war.
黑人战争电影并不太多
Right.
是的
And that's because the military was integrated so late.
当然那也是因为军队组建得晚
So not a lot of movies about it.
所以没什么电影演了这方面
But actually the military was integrated before anything else.
但其实军队一早就有了
是非裔美国人不在其中的 包含美国独♥立♥战争
美国所有的战争中 没有一场
Oh, absolutely, before anything else.
绝对的 老早就有了
And, by the way, white people, not the equality we had in mind.
白人们 这跟我们希冀的平等有点落差啊
Yeah.
对啊
It's like, "Hey, boy, you want a drink of water?
当初就是"少年 你想喝水吗
Go back around the corner.
回去那边喝
You want to die for your country?
你想为你的国家英勇捐躯吗
Stand right here in front of me."
那就站到我面前来"
Well, there was the one movie Glory.
好歹还有一部电影《光荣战役》
上集黑人兄弟有提到落下英雄泪的那部电影
美国南北战争史实电影
Yes, of course Glory. Glory's fucked up itself.
当然啦 这部 这部电影太操蛋
I mean, they just threw a bunch of black dudes at a fort
他们就是派一帮黑人去攻击碉堡
to see if it was okay to attack it.
看看攻击了会不会出事
Yeah.
对啊
And then a dearth of movies
然后二战题材的电影
when it came to World War II.
黑人能出镜的也很少
No black people. No black
没黑人 完全没
I mean, there's that one scene in Pearl Harbor.
除了在电影《珍珠港》里有那一幕
Yeah. Where just
对 就是
Cuba Gooding, Jr., falls out of a kitchen all of a sudden,
小库珀·古丁 突然从厨房♥滚出来
grabs an anti-aircraft gun.
冲去一把抓住防空炮
Talk about, "Show me the money!"
嘴里喊着"把钱亮出来"
这段把《甜心先生》与《珍珠港》剧情合二为一了
小库珀·古丁在电影《甜心先生》中的知名台词
What is that?
那是啥玩意啊
And then, apparently, white people figured something out,
再之后貌似白人发现到了猫腻
because during Vietnam,
因为越战的时候
they sent all our asses over there.
他们把咱们全送过去了
黑人参与率最高的一场战争
越战是所有美国战争中
Oh, yeah, Vietnam. Everybody.
对啊 越战 黑人全去了
Hello, all of my uncles. Yes.
我所有叔叔伯伯你们好 是的
Welcome to the jungle.
欢迎来到丛林
"What is your name? Jackson? This way to the draft."
"你叫什么名字 杰克逊吗 这边往军队走"
"There you go."
"欢迎加入"
I mean, again, not the equality we had in mind!
还是一样 不是我们心里希望的那种平等
Yeah. Crazy.
太疯狂了
All we wanted to do was look at white women's asses
我们想要的是看白人妞的屁♥股♥
without getting murdered.
不会被人砍死而已
That's all we wanted to do.
我们只想要这个而已
That's all.
仅此而已
由于歧视与偏见 连一些鬼话都会相信
接下来这段在恶搞人们对同性恋/黑人
Heil Hitler.
希♥特♥勒♥万岁
My name is colonel Hans Mueller of the S.S.
我是武装党卫队的汉斯·穆勒上校
As you know, we were combing the area for Jews.
想必你们知道 我们本在搜查这一区的犹太人
But it has come to our attention that two negroes have escaped,
但我们还注意到有两个死黑鬼在潜逃
and are hiding out in this area as well.
就躲在这一带
You wouldn't happen to know
你们不会刚好知道
anything about this, now, would you?
跟这有关的情报吧 对吗
Uh, no. No negroes here. Mm-mm.
不知道 这里没有死黑鬼
来扮演白人 通常用在演出喜剧
早年的剧院中 也有类似黑人涂白漆
Uh, negroes? Ew.
死黑鬼 真恶心
Hell no.
不可能[黑人腔]
And, um, what are your names?
那 你们叫什么
Leroy...
勒罗伊
heimer.
海默
Leroyheimer is my last name,
我的姓是勒罗伊海默
而海默结尾的名字 起源来自德国
勒罗伊算得上黑人界的张三李四
and my first name is very German,
而我的名字就很德国风了
and that is because it is Heinrich.
因为我叫海因里希
So, my name is Heinrich Leroyheimer.
所以我的全名叫海因里希·勒罗伊海默
And I am Baron Helmut...
我是赫尔穆特
Schnitzelnazi.
德肉排纳粹男爵