基和皮尔（2012）

Yeah, Cheyenne. Oh, is that her name?
是啊 夏安 这是她的名字啊
Yeah, she was fly-y.
对啊 她真是太正了
That's the girl I was talking about.
我刚才说的美女就是这姑娘
Oh, snap. Are you serious? Yeah, dude.
靠 你是说真的吗 对啊
Oh, I'm sorry. It ain't no thing, man.
对不起啊 没啥啦 没事
Forget it. There's plenty of hotties here.
不用介意 天涯何处无芳草
I just thought you were talking about someone else.
我刚才以为你是在说别的姑娘
Check her out.
看这靓女
I'm not a sports man but...
我虽然不玩体育运动
think me and you could touch down later,
但我觉得咱俩有机会可以"达阵得分"一下
if you know what I'm saying.
你懂我的意思吧
Am I being stupid? But for real though.
我是不是犯傻 不过我是认真的
Just give me your number, whatever.
留一下你的电♥话♥号♥码给我
Thank you, girl. I'ma take that from you.
谢谢你 美女 号♥码我替你保管了
How did you get over here so fast?
你是怎么瞬间跑到这里的
Nothing. It just seemed like you--
没事 就感觉你好像瞬移...
Oh, damn. That reporter is smokin' hot.
靠 这女主播也太辣了
What the fuck?
哇操
No.
不是吧
No.
不会吧
No!
不要啊
No. No!
不要啊 不要啊
Hey, baby. How are you
宝贝我回来了 你怎么...
are you doing that? Honey, what's wrong?
你怎么办到的 宝贝 怎么了
Oh, baby, I love you.
亲爱的 我爱你
I'm sorry.
对不起
I was out, I was looking at other women tonight.
我今晚出去的时候偷瞄了别的小妞
But you are all there is.
但我心中无别人
All right, I love you.
我爱你
All right, so Keegan has two dogs,
基根有两条狗
which he has no control over whatsoever.
两条完全不听他话的狗
That's not true. That's not true.
才不是呢 才不是这样
That is true.
明明就是
The little one I've got some control over.
小的那条还稍微听点我的话
The big one's an ass. No.
大的那条就是个狗逼崽子 不是
They don't listen to him.
它们完全不听他的话
I don't understand why you talk to them like that.
我不懂他为什么要跟它们说人话
My man will be like, "Hey, Levi, would you stay away
他会像这样"李维 你可不可以
from that Architectural Digest magazine?" What's that?
不要去弄我的建筑文摘杂♥志♥" 这是怎样
Because-- what's that? He understands me.
因为... 这是为什么 是因为它能懂我
It's because he understands me. No, he does not.
是因为它能听懂我的话 它懂个球
Yes, he does. And by the way...
它就是听得懂 对了
I'm allergic to dogs, okay?
我对狗过敏 好吗
Most people keep their dog in a bathroom when I come over.
大多数人会在我来访时 把自己的狗关进浴室
When I go over his house, his dogs talking about--
可是我去他家的时候 他的狗就这样
Comes right up to me.
直接朝我扑过来
And what do you say? I say, "Levi,
而你都说什么了 我说"李维
What are you do-- Get outta here.
你在干... 快走开
What are you doing? What are you doing?
你在干嘛 你在那边干嘛
What are you doing?
你在那里做什么
Are you doing it right now? What are you doing right now?"
你就得现在这么做吗 你现在在做什么"
This is his dog. "Get away from him. Levi!"
而他的狗就这样 "快离开他身边 李维
Get away from him. Would you get away from him?
不要靠近他 你可不可以不要靠近他
Get away from him! Get away from him!
走开 不要扑他
Get awa-- Get away!
走开 快走开
Are you still standing there? Get away from him!
你还在傻站着干啥 快走开
Would you get away from Jordan, please?
可以求你不要接近乔丹吗
Get away!"
快走开
He's not listening to you.
你的狗就是不听你的话
And he-- 'cause eventually he leaves after the 50th time.
说个50遍之后 他最终会走掉的
He leaves. He leaves.
它走开了 它走了
That's boredom, my friend. That is boredom.
它是被你无聊到走的 兄弟 是因为无聊
When she does talk, like, you're listening.
真的到她说话的时候 你就有听
Yeah, oh, my God. Last time, I was like,
对 天啊 上一次我就说
"Who are you? You're brilliant."
"你谁啊 也太赞了"
I know. Shut up Oh, my God!
我知道 真是的 天啊
Oh, my God.
我的老天啊
Oh, my God! Amy, look at that one!
救命啊 艾米 你看这只
Oh, Megan! He is so cute.
梅根 它太萌了
That is the cutest effing puppy I've ever seen in my entire life.
这是我这辈子见过最可爱最萌的汪星人了
Oh, my God, I'm just gonna take him,
天啊 我好想一把抱起他
and I just wanna bite his little ears off.
然后把他的小耳朵给挨个咬掉
I just wanna take his little legs,
我只想捧着他的小脚
and I could snack on 'em like chicken drumettes.
就像啃鸡翅根一样统统啃掉
Yeah, I just wanna take his fuzzy little perfect head.
对啊 我就想把它毛茸茸小脑袋
I wanna put it in my mouth and squeeze down on it hard
塞进我嘴里 然后用力挤压
until I have a puppy face diamond in my mouth.
在我嘴里压出一个菱形小狗头
Mm, I feel like I have to wrap his face in a towel,
我超想用毛巾裹起他的小脸蛋
and then beat it with a tire iron.
然后用撬胎棒用力抡
I'm going to buy that dog, I'm going drive him to the vet,
我要买♥♥下这只汪星人 载他去兽医院
and I'm going to have him put down immediately.
直接送他安乐死
Oh, my God. You know what I'm gonna have to do?
天啊 你知道我还想怎么做吗
I'm gonna have to take that scruffy little nose...
拿他脏兮兮的小鼻子...
Yes. And just kick it.
然后呢 然后狠狠踹
I just have to Yes.
我必须得... 对
I would kick it until it comes up on my shoes.
踹到我的鞋子上有一个鼻印
like litle puppy snout slippers.
像小狗鼻图案的拖鞋
And then I'm gonna go to a party and everyone's like,
然后我要穿着去参加派对 大家就会问
"Oh, my God, where'd you get those slippers?"
"天啊 这双拖鞋哪儿买♥♥的"
I'll be like, "These are my face slippers
我就会说"这是我的小脸拖鞋
from my adorable, dumb little puppy."
是用我可爱的小笨狗做的"
That's exactly what I was going to say!
我刚才正想说这个
Esp!
心灵相通啊
Oh, my God, I just wanna take his head.
我要摸着他的小狗头
I wanna peel the skin off of his skull.
然后把脑袋上的皮剥下来
I know where you're going.
我知道你要说什么
I wanna just start throwing it up like pizza dough
我要把那层皮像披萨饼皮一样转
until it's long, flat and round.
直到它变得又大又扁平又圆
I wanna take it to a picnic and toss it around like a frisbee
然后带去野餐 像飞盘一样丢着玩
at a puppy-face-frisbee picnic!
一场狗脸飞盘野餐会
Let's get him! Yeah!
去买♥♥下它吧 好
请大家多多爱护动物
这段在夸张化看到萌物发肉紧的人[变♥态♥]
So cute. So cute.
太可爱了 萌死了
Oh, my God, is it me,
天啊 是我错觉
or is it like totally mosquito-y out here?
还是这里好多蚊蝇飞舞
Oh, my God, remember this one?
天啊 你还记得这只汪星人吗
He was so cute. So cute.
它超可爱 超卡哇伊
博比·麦克费林
口♥技♥大♥师♥
能一人分饰多部合唱 并透过轻敲胸膛制♥造♥人声节拍
恶搞著名爵士歌♥手博比·麦克费林
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
现在 各位先生女士们
the man you've been waiting for, Mr. Michael Winslow!
你们引颈期盼的迈克尔·温斯洛
据称能模仿一万种声音的口♥技♥大♥师♥
曾在出过6部续集的电影《警♥察♥学校》中出演
Go get' em, Winslow.
技惊四座吧 温斯洛
Bring the noise! Bring the noise.
让现场沸腾 响起如雷般掌声吧
Another sold-out night for the Kings of Mouth Noise.
又一门票售罄的口♥技♥之王表演夜
I tell you though,
我跟你说
we wouldn't have this audience without Winslow.
能有这么多观众全靠温斯洛
Lucky for you, huh?
你也鸡犬升♥天♥了啊
Those Police Academy fans.
看看这些《警♥察♥学校》的死忠粉
Look at all the tee shirts.
看看他们的电影主题T恤
Six sequels. Can you believe it?
出了六部续集啊 你敢信吗
Every sound effect this guy makes
他所发出的每一个音效
is like a little, tiny Mona Lisa popping out of his mouth.
就像是有一幅迷你蒙娜丽莎从他嘴里冒出
Have you ever heard him do
你有听过他演绎
the walking through the leaves
秋季时 嘴里吃着苹果
in the fall while eating an apple--
走过满地落叶小径的声音吗
温斯洛
麦克费林
All right, so one of the worst places to be a black man...
对黑人来说 最地狱般的地方之一就是...
Yes? is at a party where there's only white people there.
什么 是去其他宾客只有白人的派对
Oh, yeah.
没错