基和皮尔（2012）

Well.
好吧
Are you going to invite me in?
你们不请我进去坐坐吗
Of course! Yeah, come on in!
当然啦 请进请进
Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
当然当然 快请进
Please, gentlemen, sit down.
两位 别客气 请坐啊
Now...
现在呢
as you know...
你们也知道
the negro, not unlike the Jew,
死黑鬼们 就像犹太人
can be a very tricky creature.
是非常狡猾的生物
Oh, that's fun.
这挺有意思
We have developed many tests to determine
我们也研发了许多方法来
if an individual is, in fact,
检验一个人
an actual negro.
到底是不是个死黑鬼
It's very scientific.
这方式非常科学
Like when we throw the beans up against the homosexuals
就像我们朝同性恋们扔豆子
to see if the beans explode.
看看豆子会不会自爆
Yeah, uh...
好吧
what kind of tests?
那是什么类型的检验呢
It's interesting that you would ask me that.
你主动问我真是太有趣了
Would you mind if I...
你不介意我
removed your hat?
取下你的帽子吧
So that I can measure your head.
这样我就可以量你的脑袋
The negro head, interestingly enough,
死黑鬼的脑袋 很有趣的是
only comes in the half sizes.
尺寸都是各种半号♥
It's one of the many interesting things about the negro head.
这是死黑鬼脑袋的有趣地方之一
Everything seems in order.
一切看起来都很正常
Well, no negro heads here.
这里没有死黑鬼脑袋
I'll tell you what, though.
我跟你说
If a negro head came in here,
如果有死黑鬼脑袋敢进我家门
it would find itself detached from its negro body.
它就会发现跟自己的黑人身尸首分离
I'll tell you that, right here.
我现在就敢这么跟你说
Am I right?
我说得对吧
This is very, very good.
非常非常好
But there are so many exceptions to the rule,
但这个方法还是有许多的例外
which is why it's so important
也因此 我们有其他
that we have a test which is fool-proof.
万无一失检验方法是很重要的
Uh, m-m-m-more tests?
还有别的检验吗
You know, hunting the negroes all day,
你知道 整日猎捕死黑鬼
you really build up an appetite, do you know what I'm saying?
真的会越来越饥饿 你懂我意思吗
Can I interest you two
我能给两位上点
in some delicious beets?
美味的甜菜根吗
Interesting.
有意思
The negro cannot resist the beet.
死黑鬼们挡不住甜菜根的诱惑
It is drawn to it like flies to scheisse.
就像飞蝇扑屎[德语]一样
Well, gentlemen.
先生们
It appears I have wasted your time.
看来是我浪费了你们的时间
I'll be on my way.
我这就走
Just one more thing.
做完最后这个就走
I'm curious as to how you feel about...
我很好奇你们对...
this cat toy!
猫咪玩具的感觉
Jiggledy, diggledy!
叮叮 当当
Nothing?
没反应吗
Well, that's embarassing.
这下真是丢脸丢大了
I'm sorry for bothering you.
真抱歉打扰了你们
You two are obviously not negroes.
两位明显不是死黑鬼
Of course we're not negroes.
我们当然不是死黑鬼啦
This is a no-negro zone.
这里是死黑鬼禁行区
Thank you, gentlemen.
谢谢 先生们
Ain't no thang.
不算什么[黑人腔]
Herr Leroyheimer.
勒罗伊海默先生
Oh, that's new.
你这回敬礼方法挺新鲜
Baron Schnitzelnazi.
德肉排纳粹男爵
What's goin' on? Oh, heil Hitler.
你好咩[黑人] 希♥特♥勒♥万岁
I'll wait for you here. There we go. All right.
我手在这等你吧 好了
By the way...
对了
are you, by chance,
你不会刚好跟
related to the Dusseldorf Schnitzelnazis?
杜塞尔多夫·德肉排纳粹家是亲戚吧
Yes, I am.
的确是的
How's your Aunt Frida?
你弗里达阿姨还好吗
Aunt Frida? She...
弗里达阿姨啊 她...
is still...
还是很...
fat?
肥
I don't recall her being fat.
我不记得她是胖子啊
But who looks like they did in college anyway, am I right?
但谁跟大学那会还一模一样啊 对吧
Not me. Not me. Not me. Not this one, either.
我就不是 我就不是 我也不是
'Cause I was a-- You know what I'm talking about?
我以前可是很... 你懂我意思吧
Well, guten Tag. All right.
祝你们好[德语] 好的
Oh, Gutenberg!
古腾堡[德国姓氏而非打招呼语]
Whew. Man, that was close.
刚才真险
Whoo. We gotta get outta here, man.
兄弟 我们得赶紧撤啊
We--
我们
He left the cat toy, man! Uhuh.
他把猫玩具留下了 不行
He left it! Uhuh.
他留下了 不行啊
So here's the thing.
有一件事
As black actors in Hollywood, Jordan and I
就是身为好莱坞的黑人演员 我俩
keep going out for this one particular role
一直被人反复叫去演
over and over again.
某种特定角色
We don't get called out for the average black role.
我们不会被叫去演普通的黑人角色
You know, like the gangster who gets killed,
比如被♥干♥掉的黑人帮派分子
or the pimp who gets killed,
或者被人干掉的鸡头
or the black dude in Star Trek who gets evaporated.
或《星际迷航》里 被一枪蒸发的黑人
We don't go out for those.
我们得不到那些角色
We don't.
从来得不到
It's always the same role over and over again.
我们永远都是被叫去演同一种角色
Tell 'em the role.
快跟观众们说说
Well, maybe 'cause we're not intimidating,
或许是因为我俩没威胁性
but we always go out for the black best friend.
但我们总是被叫去演黑人死党
Always, always. Because--
每次都是 因为...
Always.
永远都这角色
Because you guys understand
我想你们也懂
that all groups of three white men
每三个白人
have to have one black friend.
就得有一个黑人朋友
They have to.
他们必须得这样
That's a rule.
这是规矩
Well, he's cool, it makes them cool.
因为那黑人很屌♥ 这样白人们也变很屌♥
Right, right. It makes them not racist.
没错没错 还让他们显得没有种族歧视
And, oh-- and the black best friend
而且所有的黑人死党
always has the same lines.
永远都有同样的台词
I'm talking about, "Damn!"
比如说"靠"[黑人腔]
Or like, "No, he didn't!"
或者是"他不是吧"[黑人腔]
And the ubiquitous...
还有无所不在的
"Oh, hell no."
"我了个去"[黑人腔]
It's in every script we ever see.
我们看到的每个剧本都这样
And then, of course, there are also
当然 还有一些句子
phrases in every script we always see.
也是我们所有剧本里都能看到
Here's one of 'em.
比如这一个
"Now, ya all clearly like each other.
"你们一看就是看对眼了
So go back over there and get her digits, dog."
你♥他♥妈♥还不回去要她电♥话♥"[黑人腔]
What about this one? What about this one?
那这个呢 这句呢
"Man, you lucky your pops cares about you.
"兄弟 你有个在乎你的爹很幸运了好吗"
You lucky!"
太幸运了"[黑人腔]
It's ridiculous.
真是太扯了
Not every black person is wise and reasonable.
不是所有的黑人都聪明又通情达理好吗
Mm-mm, in fact, for every Morgan Freeman,
事实上 黑人中每出一个摩根·弗里曼
there's like five Flavor Flavs.
就会出五个口味哥
That's true.
这是真的
Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
不行 不行
Come on, man. What you doin' man?
干啥呢 兄弟 你干啥呢
That's stupid.
太蠢了
That's stupid, man, don't do that, man. Come on.
这太蠢了 别这样好吗 拜托你