基和皮尔（2012）

It's like a low-risk opportunity.
算是个低风险的好机会
So I'm looking forward to it, we'll see.
所以我还挺期待的 再看看吧
All right, gentlemen. Take care. See you soon.
好啦 兄弟们 保重 再见
Good looking out. Take care.
万事注意 保重
All right, man. All right, take care.
好啦 兄弟 你也保重
See you. Ooh.
再见
I'm a lefty, so--
我是左撇子 所以...
Thank you.
谢谢
Thank you!
太谢谢了
Thanks so much for coming out. I am Keegan.
非常谢谢各位今天来 我是基根
And I am Jordan. And this is Key and Peele.
我是乔丹 这里是《基与皮尔》
Welcome to the show. Welcome.
欢迎来到节目 欢迎
All right.
好的
So Jordan and I have this ongoing competition
我和乔丹多年来一直有个比赛
about which one of us is blacker, yes.
就是比谁更"黑"一点
Clearly me, clearly me.
明显是我 一看就知道
No, no, how is that even possible?
不 才不是 这怎么可能
I'm from one of the blackest parts of the planet.
我来自地球上最"黑"的地区
Michigan? Yeah.
密歇根州吗 是啊
I'm from Detroit, okay?
我来自底特律
Detroit's black enough for the whole state, all right?
"黑"震全密歇根州的黑人之城 好吗
We had a mayor who used to have a nameplate
我们有一个市长 他桌上有个名牌
on his desk that said "HNIC."
上面写着"掌黑头"
For those who don't know what that means,
如果您不懂这是啥意思
it means, "Head Nigga In Charge."
它的意思是"掌权的黑鬼头头"
Okay, okay. The mayor.
好 好 市长呢
Whatever, man. I'm from NYC, baby, NYC.
随便你 但我可是纽约市长大的 纽约市哦
Oh, okay.
行
Straight up.
有"黑"才敢大声
No, no, no, no.
不不不不
It's the blackest town in the world, baby.
世界上最"黑"的城市了 宝贝
Jordan, why don't-- do you care to tell the audience
乔丹 你何不... 告诉观众们
where you are from in NYC?
你来自纽约哪一区
W-- okay.
好
Tell them where you're from in NYC, exactly.
告诉他们你来自纽约市哪一区
The exact kinda location of where you're from.
说出哪一区确切位置
Manhattan. I'm from Manhattan. No, no, no, no.
曼哈顿 我来自曼哈顿 不不不
Where exactly in Manhattan do you live, Jordan?
你住在曼哈顿的哪一区 乔丹
Where in Manhattan did you grow up?
你是在曼哈顿哪一区长大的
Where you grew up? Where you grew up?
你哪一区长大的 你哪一区长大的
坐落在华尔街畔 寸土寸金
纽约人文氛围浓厚的艺术圣地
Upper West Side, but still.
上西区 不过还是一样啊
Yo, check it. All right, all right.
好了 听我说
Dude, NYC, baby.
兄弟 纽约市啊
Home of Alvin Ailey, the Harlem renaissance.
有过伟大黑人现代舞大♥师♥ 新黑人文艺复兴
J-- - Joy Behar!
"白"到极点女主持人
Okay...
好吧
First of all, Joy Behar will shoot you in the face.
首先 这位女主持狠到能给你颜"射"
So watch your shit.
说话小心
Secondly, I don't understand how you could possibly
第二 我不懂你怎么会觉得
think you're blacker than me. I am.
你比我还黑爷范儿 我就是啊
Nigger, you drive a Prius.
你开娘炮最爱的油电混合车
You saw Warhorse.
你看儿童文学改编的电影《战马》
Plus, you married a white woman.
而且 你娶的还是白人老婆
Oh, actually you win. 'cause that--
好吧 凭这点 我认输
So glad we could bring this project to this neighborhood.
能把这项目拉到这一区来做真是太好了
不吃的蔬菜或动物内脏等制成 廉价富营养
灵魂料理就是美国黑人料理 由当年白人奴隶主
灵魂料理
甜心黑大妈之家
It's so rich in history.
这里有着丰富的历史
I grew up in a neighborhood like this.
我从小就是在这样的黑人区长大
Oh, yeah, I grew up in a neighborhood
对啊 我从小长大的黑人区
exactly like this.
跟这里一模一样
All right, welcome to Mama Sugarback's.
欢迎来到甜心黑大妈之家
Y'all ready to order? Yeah.
你们准备好点菜了吗 是的
Can I have a chicken fried steak with gravay and a cola?
来一份乡村炸牛排加肉汁 跟一杯可乐
Okay.
行
I will have the baked beef short ribs with collard greens,
我想要来一份烤牛小排加羽衣甘蓝
and throw down some of that cornbread.
然后再来点玉米面包
All right, babe.
好的 亲爱的
You know what? Hold up a second.
其实呢 稍等一下
I'm also gonna have some of them
我也想要来一点
collard greens and cornbread as well,
羽衣甘蓝跟玉米面包
but hook a brother up with some of them hot links.
但麻烦给兄弟我再来点辣香肠
All right. All right.
好的 好嘞
You know what? Why am I trying to front?
其实呢 我♥干♥嘛这么假
Scratch all that.
之前的不要了
Give me some okra and some fried red snapper.
给我来点秋葵跟炸红鲷鱼
And, girl, you know I want some chitlins.
还有 黑人兄弟我想吃猪肠
All right now.
没问题
Y'all got ham hocks?
你们有猪肘子吗
Of course. Well, that's what I want.
当然 我就要吃这个
I want a plate of ham hocks, deep-fried, blackened,
我要来一盘猪肘子 炸到焦黑焦黑的
and served on a bed of mustard greens.
然后底下铺一层芥菜
Pig feet.
猪脚
I want some pig feet and four pounds of grits.
我要点猪脚加四磅的粗玉米糊
大多数都是美国南方或西非常见食材
目前为止全是常见灵魂料理食材
And oh, oh! And you know what else?
对了 你知道我还要点什么吗
Give me a little Dixie cup full of lard, all right?
给我来一纸杯的猪油 好吗
I just remembered what I want. A bowl of mosquitoes.
我想起来我要点什么了 一碗蚊子
None of them tiny ones either, give me them big mother fuckers
我不要那种小只的 我要那种特大号♥
you find down at the swamps.
在沼泽里横行的蚊子精
Sister, could you please hook a brother up
姐妹 能劳烦你给兄弟我
with a rusty bucket full of fish heads
用生锈铁桶装一桶鱼头来吗
wrapped in razor wire?
而且要用带刺铁丝网缠着
Donkey teeth. Donkey teeth?
驴子牙 驴子牙吗
Straight out a donkey's mouth.
要从驴子嘴里现拔♥出♥来♥的
You know what? Fuck it. Any animal tooth will do.
算了 操♥他♥妈♥的 任何动物牙齿都行
I want you to stick it in some honey glaze, fry it with fat back,
我要你把它们跟蜜汁猪背肉一起炸
and serve it in an old tin coffee can.
然后装旧锡咖啡罐里上菜
Forget everything I said up to this point right now.
之前我说的那些全不要了
Bring me some dandelion greens, a cow hip, and a dog face.
我要蒲公英嫩叶 牛屁♥股♥加狗脸
Wrap that whole mess in an old Ebony magazine,
把它们用旧的黑人杂♥志♥包着
and serve it to me in a shoebox.
装到鞋盒里给我上菜
Okay, I want a platter of stork ankles,
我要一盘鹳鸟脚踝
an old cellar door, a possum spine,
加老旧地窖门 负鼠脊椎
and a human foot.
外加一只人脚
You want a human foot?
你要点人脚吗
I got just one question for y'all.
我只有个问题想问你俩
You want gravy on that cellar door?
地窖门上要淋肉汁吗
Oh, definitely.
必须啊
Oh, yeah, yeah. You gotta put gravy on that.
对啊 绝对得淋肉汁
What's a cellar door without gravy?
不淋肉汁的门不是好地窖门
It's not food.
都称不上是食物
It's really--
真是太...
Ah, man, I really had to get out of the house.
我在家真是要憋不住了
I was glad you came out. I appreciate it.
很高兴你能出来 谢谢你陪我
For real.
真的
Look here, you check this girl out, man.
看那边 快看看这姑娘
She is fine.
前方美女警报
She all right. Really?
她也就还可以啦 是吗
Hey, man, I am going to go to the bathroom.
哥们 我想去上个厕所
Okay, man. See you in a minute.
行 等会见
You know what?
其实呢
I told myself this morning I wasn't gonna fall in love.
今早我告诉自己 我不要再坠入爱河
You went and made me break my only rule.
但你让我打破了自己的誓言
I'm gonna take that right quick--
你这号♥码我就收下了
I am going to take that. I'm going to use that.
我不止要收下 还会打过去
Okay.
好的
Oh, hey, what's up, man?
怎么回事 兄弟
You just got her number, huh?
你要了她电♥话♥号♥码吗