凯文滚一边（2021）

而且是可爱的那只
Oh.And it's the cute toe.
相比起来其他脚趾就像花生壳一样丑
The other ones kind of just look like peanut shells.
我天,它们都挺可爱的
Gosh, they're all cute.
所以你是想在这儿留宿吗?
So you want to stay here?
就待到电力公♥司♥修好为止
Just until the power company gets its act together.
除非现在时机不对?
Unless it's a bad time?
完全不会.快进来吧
Not at all. Come in.
嘿.很高兴我们这么做了
Hey, um, I'm glad we did this today.
私♥家♥侦♥探♥还有咖啡什么的
The PI and the coffee.
我一直都记挂着你
I've missed you.
我也念着你呢,甜心
Yeah, you too, sweets.
老天,你猜怎么着,你要求加淡奶和糖
God, you know, you ask for light with cream and sugar,
他们从来不予理会
and they always skimp.
你知道吗,我在想我或许可以多见见你
You know, I was thinking I'd get to see you even more
如果,呃,我能重新在酒水店工作的话
if, uh, I started working at the liquor store again.
我以为你不是得到了那份梦寐以求的餐厅服务员工作吗
I thought you got that cushy waitressing job at the diner.
是的,但那只是兼♥职♥,而且我...
Well, I do, but it's only part time, and I'm...
我现在想多攒点钱
I'm just trying to save up right now.
是吗,攒钱干什么?
Oh, yeah? For what?
去旅行
Vacation.
好吧,不过我已经雇了弗兰基德兰佐家的孩子了
Well, I already hired Frankie DeLanzo's kid.
你知道吗,他闻起来虽然像商场里那些青少年商店
You know, he smells like one of those teen stores at the mall,
但至少他不会在大工作日的时候撂挑子
but, uh, he does not quit on me in the middle of a workday.
你知道吗,如果你急需现金的话
Ah. If you need cash quick, you know,
为什么不随便典当点什么东西?
why don't you just hock something?
像在典当行里那样? - 是啊
Like at a pawnshop? - Yes.
这其实是一件非常体面的事儿
It's a perfectly respectable thing to do.
跟什么相比?
Compared to what?
听着,当我需要钱去快活林跟闺蜜度周末的时候
Oh, look, I needed money for girls' weekend at Foxwoods,
查克拒绝了我,你猜我怎么做的?
and Chuck said no, so what did I do?
我把他的金链子给当了
I, uh, pawned his gold chain.
他都十来年没戴过了
He hadn't worn it in 10 years.
所以压根儿就没注意到
Didn't even notice.
也许我们还能找点查克的其他什么东西来典当
Maybe we can find something else of Chuck's.
这个, 查克连个起罐器都觉得贵重, 所以...
Well, Chuck thinks a can opener's valuable, so...
凯文有金链子吗?
Does Kevin have a gold chain?
没有,凯文说男士珠宝都是给“艾-大利人”戴的
No, Kevin says man jewelry is for "I-talians."
喔,你知道吗,说不定储藏仓能有点什么东西
Oh. You know, maybe there's something in the storage unit.
什么储藏仓? - 喔,那是查克的
What storage unit? - Oh, it's Chuck's.
凯文在非法入室案发生后放了一些
Kevin put a bunch of his valuables in there
他认为值钱的东西在那里面
after the break-in.
你能带我去那儿吗？
Any way you can get me in there?
我意思是,我得先从查克那儿偷出钥匙
Uh, I mean, I'd have to steal Chuck's key.
所以,当然可以了
So, sure. Yeah.
你不用为了我打扫
You don't have to clean for me.
什么?但你是客人啊
What? But you're a guest,
是客人就值得最好的
and guests are blessed and deserve your best.
艾莉森这么说的
Allison says that.
我要捐了它
I'm donating it.
还有其他这些
And others.
那本书你不是读了有一阵子了吗
You've been reading that one for a while.
我需要一瓶红牛
I need a Red Bull.
你不来点什么?
You want anything?
那是尼尔吗?
Is that Neil?
嘿
Hey.
嗨
Hi.
你在这外面做什么?
What are you doing out here?
他们提前准我出院了
They discharged me early.
好吧,这...
Okay, um, it's...
这外面太冷了,所以进屋吧
It's freezing out, so go inside,
因为你看起来
'cause you look...
你看起来好多了
Well, you've looked better.
真的吗?因为,你懂的,被人拿瓶子爆头
Really? 'Cause, you know, I feel terrific
那感觉真是太爽了
after getting bottled and bleeding from the head for...
嘿
Hey.
情况怎么样,尼尔?
How's it going, Neil?
我刚刚还跟帕蒂说,这几天确实过的挺艰难的
I was just telling Patty, it's been a rough couple days,
但很高兴能得到你们俩的关心
but really nice of you two to check in.
艾莉森也来了
And Allison.
嗨 - 嗨
Hi. - Hi.
嗨 - 嗨
Hi. - Hi.
嗨
Hi.
这真是有趣
This is fun.
所以,你们对我的新发型怎么看?
So, what do you think of my new haircut?
我爱死了
I love it.
有时候变变发型
Sometimes a transformational haircut
不是一件坏事,不是吗?
can be a good thing, right?
但不是此刻
Sometimes.
好吧,这也不是我自愿的
Yeah, well, wasn't really my choice.
医生剃了个非常奇怪的形状来固定这个大伤口
Doctors shaved a weird patch to staple a giant wound.
我感到非常抱歉. 我...
I'm so sorry. I, uh...
那个...伤口看起来很痛啊
That... It looks so painful.
我...我对所发生的事感到很抱歉
I'm just... I'm sorry that happened.
是的,那看起来挺恶心的
Yeah, that is pretty gross.
塔米,你能相信我得了如此严重的食物中毒吗
Tammy, can you believe I got such bad food poisoning,
我昏了过去并把头撞在了浴室地面的瓷砖上
I passed out and hit my head on the tile floor of the bathroom?
相信 - 他确实得了
Yes. - He had that, uh...
我们俩都得了
He had that thing that I had.
都是虫子的锅
The bug.
就在前几天
A few days ago.
是的,都是虫子的锅
Yeah, that bug.
是的,虫子惹的祸
Yeah, that bug.
好吧,如果你需要什么
Okay, well, if you need anything,
我们就在楼下
we're right downstairs.
好了,我要...
Yes. I will just...
不好意思 - 抱歉
Oh. Sorry. - Sorry.
再见 - 拜
Bye. - Bye.
好吧 - 拜拜了大家
Okay. - Bye, there. Bye.
艾莉森,你在家吗?
Allison, you home?
尼尔?
Oh, Neil?
小凯 - 噢, 兄弟
Kev! - Oh, buddy!
抱歉我走了这么久
Oh, I'm sorry I was gone for so long.
十分感谢,不过你是不是应该
I appreciate that, but maybe you should apologize
先为你的发型道个歉啊. 我天
for this hair first. Oh, my gosh.
我是说,我知道没人想在剪完头发后
I mean, I know this is never what somebody wants to hear
听到这样的评价, 不过到底发生了什么
right after a haircut, but what happened?
我其实... - 你散发的气场就跟
I actually... - I mean, 'cause you have
一只戴着伊丽莎白圈的狗一样悲惨
the general vibe of a sad dog in a cone.
这倒是真的,发生了太多事...
That's true. A lot went down...
你知道人们常说的酸痛的拇指伸出来吗？
（俚语,意指显得十分不自然）
Like, you know how they say that sore thumbs stick out?
你这头真就是那样的
You actually look like that.
就像一个又大又红,还带着愤怒的,酸痛的拇指
Like... Like a big, red, angry, sore thumb.
你tm到底发生了什么,哥们儿?
What the hell happened, man?
呃,我...
I, um...
我食物中毒的时候昏过去了,并且撞破了头
I passed out when I got food poisoning and cracked my head.
所以我必须得缝针
I-I had to get stitches.
伤的很... - 我还准备猜
It hurts so... - I was gonna guess
你是不是昏倒在下水沟里时
that you got gum stuck in there
头上粘了个口香糖
when you passed out in a gutter.
老天,我就差那么一点点
Oh, God! I was close!
不过,我...我很好
But I'm... I'm fine.
我回来了,并且我会一直陪在你身边
I'm back, and I will always be here for you.
好吧,如果不这么紧张的话,还是挺好的
Well, that is excellent, if not a little intense.
不过这倒是让我认真思考起来
But it's actually, uh, got me thinking.
你知道,作为一个新晋的
You know, as a newly minted
并且非常非常忙的当地名人
and very, very busy local celebrity,
我...我还是挺不堪重负的
I'm... I'm quite overwhelmed.
我懂你,兄弟,我感觉...
I-I get it, man. I mean, I feel like...
你要知道,接下来我还有一个重要的访问
You know, I have this big interview coming up,
还有一个剪彩仪式等我参加