凯文滚一边（2021）

都说我不知轻重
said I don't know my own strength.
那就是放屁
And it was bullshit then.
她可是试图杀人呢
She tried to kill someone.
而我可以辩解称是"自卫"
I could argue it was self "offense."
噢,天呐,快闭嘴吧
Oh, God. Just stop.
天呐
Jesus.
她可...
She's...
不是什么受害者 - 尼尔
That is no victim -.Neil.
尼尔
Neil.
尼尔
Neil.
帕蒂?
Patty?
不不不
No, no, no.
帕蒂!不好了
Patty! Oh.
帕蒂?
Patty?
帕蒂!
Patty!
发生了什么?他逃走了?
What happened?Did he get out?
当然不是
No.
我放他出去的
I let him out.
你在说什么? - 我把他带到医院的
What are you talking about?
- I brought him to the hospital.
为什么? - 我必须带他去
W-Why? - I had to.
该发生的已经发生了,但让他在那儿昏迷着
Whatever happens, happens, but having him sedated in there
起码比死在我的地下室强
is better than dead in my basement.
好吧,我也不想让他死在你的地下室
Well, I didn't want him dead in your basement, either,
但我们应该用别的方法
but we could have found another way.
你为什么就不信任我呢?
Why didn't you trust me?
我等不及让你意识到事情的严重性了
I couldn't wait for you to realize this is serious.
你以为我不知道吗?
Oh, you think I don't know that?
我也不想伤害他.这一切都不是我想要的.
I didn't want to hurt him.I didn't want any of this.
但你也看好... - 别在显摆你的伤痕了
But also... - Stop showing off the bruise.
是的,这是尼尔做的
Yes, Neil did that,
但你也不是什么善人
but you're not just some victim.
他一旦醒来就要告发我们了
He's gonna talk when he wakes up.
也许他应该这么做
Maybe he should.
什么?
What?
我希望他不会说
I hope not.
我会想出办法的,但是我要自己单独想
And I'll figure something out, but I'll figure it out alone.
你大可不必独自想
You don't have to figure it out alone.
你为什么要离开?
Why did you leave?
你把尼尔自己留在地下室
You left Neil in the basement.
你跟凯文今晚做了什么？
What were you doing with Kevin tonight?
在发生这么多事后
After everything that's happened,
你仍想着要杀他?
you're still trying to kill him?
不是，我只是...不能让他去竞选
No, I just... I can't have him in this election.
拜托,你能想象他拥有任何权力吗?
Can you imagine him in any position of power? Come on.
我不是个蠢货好吗?
I'm not an idiot, okay?
你别自以为无论你说什么
Don't you just assume that I'll go along
我都会顺着你,站在你这边
with whatever you say, on your side,
而毫无疑问
no questions asked.
你想在他外出时撞死他
You want him out so that you can try to run him over
或者给他下毒都没人在乎
or force feed him Oxys and no one will care.
他终究就是个无名之辈
He'll be...He'll be nobody.
帕蒂,对不起好吗
Patty, I'm sorry, okay?
但我真的必须今晚做
But I had to do this tonight.
而且我想我已经做完了
And it's done, I think.
所以我来了
So I am here.
我绝不会让你独自解决的好吗
I'm not gonna make you try to figure this out by yourself, okay?
我真的会全心投入
I really, I...I am here.
不
No.
你根本不会
No, you're not.
至少不再是了
Not anymore.
多多保重吧,好吗?
Just take care of yourself,alright?
我也一样
And I'll do the same.
老爸,艾莉森,过来一下
Dad, Allison, come in here!
广♥告♥还有30秒就播出了
The ad airs in like 30 seconds!
我还在宿醉并且累的要死,就剩广♥告♥是我活下去的意义了
I'm exhausted, I'm hungover, and this is all I'm living for.
那我真是谢谢你的支持了
I thank you for your support.
我太兴奋了.现在脉搏跳的超快
I'm so excited. My pulse is racing.
赶紧把911先按在手♥机♥上
Have 911 pre-dialed.
糟了.我想把这录下来
Shoot, I wanted to tape this.
别担心,我已经打给电视台了
Oh, no. Don't worry. I called the station.
竞选活动买♥♥了40个节目档
The campaign bought 40 spots.
他们会整天一遍遍不断的播放
They'll be airing over and over all day.
安静
Shh, shh, shh.
我的广♥告♥开播了
My ad is on.
野性哥们
Wild Dude!
他是个酷哥们
He is a cool dude.
他向坏蛋射击
He shoots the bad dudes.
伍斯特的狂野哥们
The Worcester Wild Dude!
那是市长吧? - 是啊
Is that the mayor? - Yeah.
我听说他玩飞镖,艾莉森觉得
Yeah. I heard that he plays darts, and Allison thought
这么拍或许会给他发出一种我们可以成为哥们的信♥号♥♥
that this might signal to him that we could be bros.
是的,哥们
Bros, yeah, bros.
伍斯特的狂野哥们
The Worcester Wild Dude!
我的那版广♥告♥呢
Where the hell is my ad?
你那个缺乏正宗感
Uh, scrapped for authenticity.
这真是太牛X了
That was awesome.
我想现在我们只需静待佳音
Now I guess we just, uh, sit back
等我的政♥治♥之星升起来
and wait for my political star to rise.
凯文,你要传递的信息呢
Kevin, what happened to messaging?
坚定的观点呢?名字认知呢？
Assertive pointing? Name recognition?
老爸,我非常肯定人们在看过这个之后一定会记住我的
Uh, Dad, I'm pretty sure people will remember me after that.
你连自己的真名都没提一次
You didn't say your real name once!
是市长
It's the mayor.
原谅我要回自己的办公室了
Uh, excuse me while I retire to my office.
凯文"伍斯特狂野哥们"麦克罗伯特为您效劳
Kevin "Worcester Wild Dude" McRoberts at your service.
我知道在白水事件之后我应该远离政♥治♥
I knew I should have stayed out of politics after Whitewater.
克♥林♥顿♥丑闻?
The Clinton scandal?
当然不是,是我和杰拉尔德福特一起漂流那次
No, I went rafting with Gerald Ford.
船翻了.我迫不得已给他做人工呼吸
The boat flipped. I had to give him mouth-to-mouth.
怎么了? - 我被淘汰了
What's up? - I'm out of the race.
不是吧
No!
太惨了
No...
而且他还对我申请了限制令
And he's filing a restraining order against me.
就像杰夫普罗布斯特对尼尔那样
Just like Jeff Probst did against Neil.
他们把我从自己的命运中赶了出来
Ugh, they booted me from my destiny.
你可是把飞镖扎在了市长的眼睛上啊
You nailed the mayor in the eye!
你好? - 戴安?嗨
Hello? - Diane? Hi.
海边我们去定了,并且我要请你喝许多的酒
We are going to the Seas, and I am buying you a bunch of drinks,
因为...也许这次真的是你赢了
because... maybe this is a win for you.
他们试图杀死他,你能相信吗?
They tried to kill him. Can you believe?
这俩婊♥子♥也试图杀死我
Bitches tried to kill me, too.
你没事了.一切都很好
You're fine.Everything's fine.
我从没见你喝成这样
I've never seen you drink like this.
开心还不行了?
Like I'm having fun?
更像是末日来临
Like there's no tomorrow.
好了,我们这次庆祝点什么?
Okay, what... what are we toasting to again?
敬女权?
Feminism?
女权?
Feminism?
我也不知道了.反正总要敬点什么
I don't know.Or something.
我都没意识到你在忙着改变世界呢
I didn't realize you were busy changing the world.
并没有
I'm not.
不过我确实做了点什么,而且感觉棒极了
But I did something, and it feels amazing.
在一切分崩离析前
I just need to focus on that
我只需要关注这一点就够了
before everything else just crumbles to the ground,
你知道么?
you know?
小戴!
D!
查克这破事你最好忘掉好吗
This whole Chuck thing, you're better off, okay?
你永远不需要再理会任何开着的柜门了
You're never gonna have to look at another open cabinet again.
不仅是柜子
Not just the cabinets.
还有后门,还有浴室柜,还有洗碗机