凯文滚一边（2021）

Kevin Can F- Himself S02E04

Part 7 Oct. 6, 2022, 8:52 p.m.

Whatever. I'm sorry about all this.
确实很糟糕
It was bad.
从头到尾
Top to bottom.
我知道
I know.
但是以前从来没有人给我办过惊喜派对
But nobody's ever thrown me a surprise party before.
甚至都没人给我办过派对
Nobody's ever thrown me a party before.
虽然你办的是灾难一场
Of course, you did it, so it was a disaster.
但是正常情况下，我真的会喜欢的
But normally, I would've... really liked it.
这很好
It was nice.
谢谢你
Thank you.
所以我为你做了两件好事了？
So that's two nice things I've done for you?
够了
Okay.
现在我们倒开始计算了？
Now we're tallying 'em?
我下定决心要你回头再看
Well, I am determined that you are gonna
你的神经病邻居艾莉森麦克罗伯茨时
look back on your insane neighbor
一定会想念她
Allison McRoberts and miss her.
嘿
Hey.
老天
Jesus.
该死的，我又不是小妖精
Goddamn. I'm not a goblin.
我就是一个年过40的女人坐在这而已
I'm just sitting here and over 40.
虽然但是，你坐在黑暗中就有点
Yeah, but you're, like... Like, in the shadows.
这才是独自喝酒的正确方式
That's how you're supposed to drink alone.
好吧，来吧
Well, here.
我们一起喝吧
You're not drinking alone.
你什么借口？
What's your excuse?
就是不想和那些家伙们在酒吧待着了
Didn't feel like staying at the bar with the guys.
这理由够了吧
Is that enough?
没有我刚刚被以前自认为是怪大叔的人羞辱和拒绝
Not when I've just been insulted and rejected
这个理由更充分
by a man who I always thought of as my creepy uncle.
他和凯文就是开玩笑而已
Him and Kevin were joking.
跟谁开？
To who?
不仅如此，再加上查克那些疯癫的言行
That, on top of all the Chuck mishegasmeans...
我可以把这酒喝到桃子味都能从毛孔里渗出来
I can drink thisuntil peach-like flavor is coming out of my pores.
但是你搬走了
But you moved out.
也算是了不起
That's something.
今天下午我又回家了
I went back home again this afternoon.
我尝试过
I tried.
但这真的很难
But it was... too hard.
是啊
Yeah.
山姆，你怎么来了...
Sam. What are you...
你的计划糟糕透了，我做不了
Your plan was terrible, and I can't do it.
好吧
Okay?
这个是我在市政厅认识的一个人
This is someone I know at City Hall
就是他帮我拿到的酒类执照
who helped me get my liquor license.
虽然不是那么光明正大
It wasn't exactly above board,
但我确定如果你愿意付钱
but I'm sure if you're willing to pay,
他们能拿到你想要的东西
they'll get you whatever you need.
到此为止了好吗？经过此事后，我再也不干了
This is it, okay? After this, I'm done.
不管你还有什么计划，我都没兴趣知道
Whatever you're into, I'm not interested.
不是，山姆，你不明白
No, Sam, you don't understand.
我需要...
I-I need...
你需要什么？
You need to what?
艾莉森，你现在是在偷死亡证明
Allison, you're stealing a death certificate.
这可是严重的诈骗犯罪
That's some serious scam-artist shit.
我知道你需要钱，但是...
I know you need money, but...
从没想过你会做这种事
never thought you'd do something like this.
山姆，我没有...
Sam, no, I-I'm not...
除了一张纸，我没有偷任何东西
I'm not stealing anything except for a piece of paper.
我也没有试着骗谁
I'm not trying to scam anyone.
我遇到了麻烦
I'm in trouble.
我要离开
I'm leaving.
我必须离开，否则我...
I-I have to, or I'll...
当我离开后
When I leave,
不能让凯文找到我
Kevin can't be able to find me.
我要一走了之
I need to be gone for good.
所以...
So, um...
我在假装自己的死亡
I'm faking my own death.
嘿
Hey.
这是来自佛蒙特州的安保录像对吧？
It's the security footage from Vermont, right?
20年11月20号♥那天的？
11-21-20?
不不，发过来吧
No, no, no, send it over.
我等的就是这个
I've been waiting for it.
是的
Yeah.
谢了
Thanks.