凯文滚一边（2021）

I got cash.
嘿，你可以喝这个
Hey. You can have some of this.
我也不是那么喜欢啤酒，只是能让我想起我爸爸
I kinda hate beer, but it reminds me of my dad
而且这是他最爱的酒吧，所以...
and this was his favorite bar, so...
感觉今天就应该来这儿
It kinda felt right today.
噢 - 是啊
Oh. - Yeah.
我本来想通过观看纳斯卡来悼念他
I was gonna pay tribute to him by watching NASCAR
然后再被我妈骂一顿，但是这感觉更有趣
and getting yelled at by my mom, but this felt more fun.
是啊
Yeah.
你看起来玩得很开心
It looks like you're havin' fun.
在我妈葬礼那天
On the day of my mother's funeral,
我在教堂面把百利酒都吐出来了
I threw up Bailey's behind the church.
那可不是什么好事
That's no good.
嘿
Hey.
抱歉抱歉
Sorry! Sorry.
对你妈妈的事我很遗憾
Sorry about your mother.
她去世时你多大年纪?
How old were you when she passed?
我那时11岁
I was 11.
喔
Oh.
是啊，那真是糟糕的一天
Yeah, it was a bad day.
其实应该算是糟糕的一年
It was a bad year, actually.
但是她应该能理解我为什么要灌醉自己
But she would've understood the booze.
我打赌你♥爸♥也能理解 - 是啊
I bet your dad would've too. - Yeah.
嘿，说不定他们俩现在还不知道在哪儿一起买♥♥醉呢
Hey, maybe they're getting drunk together somewhere.
我有一堆理由怀疑
Oh, I doubt that for a whole lot of reasons.
但是如果幻想能让自己开心的话...
But if delusions make you happy...
可以的可以的
They do. They do.
确实可以，所以，谢谢你了
They do, so, thank you.
不客气
You're welcome.
你确定你不要这个吗？
Are you sure you don't want any of this?
我保证你坐在我旁边的话...
I promise I won't... cry on you
我不会对你哭泣
if you sit next to me.
不是这个，我正在等我的...
No, I-I'm waiting on my, uh...
我的弟弟和他的蠢货朋友
On my brother and his idiot friends.
好吧 - 我让他们给我买♥♥就行
Okay. - I'll make them buy me one.
很高兴遇见你 - 我叫帕蒂
Nice to meet you. - Patty.
帕蒂 - 是的
Patty. - Yeah.
我是艾莉森
I'm Allison.
好了，晚安
Well, good night.
小心你的毛衫
Watch out for that sweater.
也许我应该白天再来的
Maybe I should come back in the day.
妈的
Shit.
这下好了
Fantastic.
然后砰一声...他走向我
And bam... He walks right into me!
咖啡，甜甜圈什么的乱飞
There's coffee, donuts flyin' everywhere.
我看着他说到
I look at him and I says,
“我们是不是该交换保险信息”
"Should we exchange insurance info?"
就像车祸现场一样
Like a car accident!
嗨
Hi.
嗨
Hi.
我为什么感觉这个酒吧里再没人
Why do I get the feeling that no one in this bar
像你们这么开心了
is having as much fun as you are?
因为从没有人像我们这样
Because no one ever does!
我不是很擅长找乐子
I'm not very good at fun.
是啊，能看出来
Yeah. I can tell.
你穿得这么高档
You're dressed all fancy.
这并不高档
Oh. It's not fancy.
只是有两个O的假古驰
It's Gucci, but with two O's.
但看着很拘束你知道吗
But it's too binding, you know?
我是说，如果你想找乐子，你必须
I mean, if you wanna have fun, you gotta be
时时刻刻都能保证身手敏捷
ready to haul ass at any moment.
身手敏捷?为了什么?
Haul ass? From what?
弹跳啦，打败洋基粉啦
Bouncers, Yankee fans,
还有各种夜行动物啦
various nocturnal animals.
你以为他在说笑吗？
You think he's jokin'?
他上礼拜刚得了狂犬病
He had rabies last week.
我是凯文
I'm Kevin,
礼拜五之后狂犬病就好了
rabies-free since Friday.
这是尼尔和道格
And this is Neil and Doug,
全世界我最好的两个兄弟
my two best buds in the whole world.
还有我呢?！
Um, hello?!
这是尼尔和姐姐
And that's Neil's sister.
我们...我们早先在酒吧见过了
Oh, we, uh... We met at the bar earlier.
赶快逃命
Run for your life.
你看起来像是需要一杯酒
You look like you, uh, need a drink.
好吧，我想要杯啤酒
Oh, uh, well, I'd love a beer.
哇，喜欢啤酒的小妞
Whoa. A chick you likes beer?
我都不知道这个世界存在这样的人
I didn't know they exist.
我不是吗?！
Hello?!
所以，你想要一瓶还是一龙头
So, uh, you want a bottle or a tap?
一龙头听起来不错
Uh, tap sounds great.
好的
All right...
这是5块钱的
That'll be $5.
该死的蠢货
Goddamn idiot.
老天
Jesus.
你能不能先冷静一下
Can you just calm down?
哎呦，哎呦，抬腿
Ah! Ow! Ow! Leg up!
我天
God!
你还好吗
You okay?
还行
Yeah.
我以为你走了
I thought you left.
我就知道你独自在这儿根本找不到回去的路
I knew you'd never find your way around here alone.
但没想到会在墓地底下找到你
I didn't know I'd find you at the bottom of a grave.
我迷路了
Well, I got lost.
你可曾想过也许你并不是没有方向感
You ever think it's not that you have a bad sense of direction,
你只是不注意自己往哪儿走
you just gotta pay attention to where you're goin'?
也许吧
Maybe.
我想是的
Yeah.
好了，赶紧的
Alright. Come on.
让我们把你弄起来
Let's get you up.
起来
Up, up.
行了
Wha... Alright.
快别逞能了
Don't be a hero.
嗨，胳膊抬起来
Hey. Arm up.
多谢你
Thank you.
不客气
Yeah.
感觉怎么样
How's it feel?
我认为我的脚能着地了
I think I can put some weight on it now.
好吧，小心点
Well, careful.
好的
Yeah.
因为我是不是让你把桌游也误了
Did I make you miss your board games?
可能吧
Probably.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
大不了下跪道歉
Eh. I'll grovel.
我会没事的
It'll be fine.
而且我也不能离开你
I also could've left.
你应该走掉的
Well, you should've.
我觉得那地方对你来说可能是个诅咒
Yeah, I'm thinking maybe that place is cursed for you.
今晚，你在那儿差点被活埋了
Tonight, you almost got yourself buried alive.
上一次，你也在那儿
The last time you were there,
而那天是你人生最灰暗的日子
it was the worst day of your life.
你或许应该给自己找个新的殡仪馆
Maybe find yourself a new funeral home.
我人生最灰暗的日子并不是因为守灵
It wasn't the worst day of my life because of the wake.
嘿...
Hey, uh...
我们能否等一下再进
Can we, uh, just wait?
在回家前我需要缓一分钟
I need a minute before I can go back in there.
当然可以
Sure.
伙计们...呵呵
Well, gang... ha-ha!
这个“玩圣节”还挺...
This Pal-o-ween has been...
诡异的
Weird.
我同意