凯文滚一边（2021）

Uh, and why is that?
合作愉快
Pleasure.
谢啦，克雷格
Thank you, Craig.
你到底在做什么？ - 没什么
What are you doing? - Nothing!
快告诉我你要说的东西？
So, just tell me what... What were you saying?
他说因为什么月底会被系统记录在案什么的
He said you need to move because something about it
所以你得赶紧行动
being logged into the system at the end of the month.
我是这么觉得的，因为他说的时候好像在喝汤什么的
I think. He was eating soup when he said it.
好吧，我想我认识...
Okay, well, um, I know... I-I-I think
我认识人可以帮我们做到
I know someone who could help us with this.
艾莉森，我们怎么才能从市政厅偷到东西啊？
Allison, how are we gonna steal something from City Hall?
而且这不是重罪吗？
Isn't that, like, a felony?
我也不知道
I don't know.
我都好心给你做诱饵了，怎么，你现在...
W... I was nice enough to be bait for you, and what, you don't...
你现在连和我说话的时间都没有了？
You don't have any time to talk to me now?
好了
Uh, yeah, okay.
好了，我之后再和你说
Okay, I'll talk to you later.
拜
Bye.
今天我生日
Oh, yes. It is my birthday.
我真的要多谢你还能“记得”了
Thank you so much for remembering.
我们还得再去一个地方
Uh, we need to make a new stop.
如果你说的是要去酒水店
If it's holding up a liquor store
给帕蒂拿一箱啤酒
to get Patty a case of beer,
那我就不参与这额外的犯罪了
I'll pass on the additional crime.
好好笑
Good one.
嘿
Ah! Hey!
起开
Move.
嘿,伙计们,哇偶 - 嘿,看着点
Hey, guys. Whoa! - Hey, watch it!
嘿,伙计们 - 你还好吧？
Hey, guys. - You okay? You alright?
你不用进来，我很快
You don't have to come inside. I'll be quick.
人们可能再有一个小时就来了
People are showing up in like an hour.
也许我们应该跳过... - 我只需要一分钟
Maybe we just skip... - I will just be a minute.
艾莉森
Allison.
你不需要这么做
You don't have to do this.
做什么？
Do what?
帕蒂并不知道我们正在策划派对
Patty doesn't know we're planning this party,
而且我也没说服她接受
and I'm still not even convinced she wants it,
所以或许我们忘了这回事吧
so maybe we just forget about it
就给她张美甲店的礼品卡就好了
and get her a gift card to a nail salon...
不行，我们必须这么做
No, no! We have to do this.
现在这整件事感觉都变成负担了
It just seems like it's becoming a lot.
并没有
Well, it's not.
我能搞定的
I got this.
抱歉
Excuse me.
我一会儿回来
I'll be back for that.
这是你的酱料
There's your sauces.
你又想干什么，艾莉森？
What do you need, Allison?
我知道，我知道
I know. I know.
这是最后一件事了，好吗？
This is... This is the last thing, okay?
我需要你把这周市议员的订单
I need you to let me deliver the standing order
交给我去运送
to the board of Alderman this week.
呃，我... - 这...
I, uh... - Well, it's...
这其实是在帮你忙，不是吗？
You know, basically, it's doing you a favor, right?
为什么？
Why?
下班后我需要从市政厅拿点东西
Um, I need something from City Hall after hours,
而且我以前也送过这样的订单，所以我知道
and I delivered the order before, so I know,
下午六点之后那儿基本就是个鬼城了
you know, it's basically a ghost town after 6:00.
还有，我需要一个蛋糕
Oh, and I need a cake.
老天，你要抢劫市政厅吗？
God, are you robbing City Hall?
不不不不
No, no, no, no, no.
我只是需要一张死亡证明
I just need a death certificate.
你说你只要一分钟的
You said you'd just be a minute.
嘿
Hey.
塔米，这是山姆
Um, Tam, this is Sammy.
山姆，这是塔米
Sa... Sam, this is Tammy.
当人们看到有警♥察♥坐在车里的时候
When people see a cop in a car,
他们就会过来问这儿是不是有什么突袭行动
they come up to ask if there's a bust going on.
这真的很烦
It's very annoying.
你是个警♥察♥？ - 是的
You're a cop? - Uh, yeah.
然后在帮艾莉森？真的吗？
Helping Allison? Really?
是帮我策划派对的，好吗？
Hel... Helping me plan a party, okay?
所以你们这是在叙旧
So, are you guys catching up,
还是出于某种原因想让我的人生更加艰难？
or are you trying to make my life harder for some reason?
不是，我们说完了
Oh, no, we're done.
说完了？
We're done?
是的
We're done.
我去给你拿蛋糕
I'll get your cake.
所以...
So...
你和刚才那家伙有外遇多久了？
How long have you and that guy been having an affair?
你说什么？
What?
就是山姆
Sam.
你跟鬼混的那个
You fooled around.
没有
No!
根本不是
No.
好吧，确实是
Okay, yeah.
不过是一时糊涂...就那么一瞬间...
It was one moment... One moment...
而且已经结束了
And it's done.
这就解释了为什么他那么生气了
That explains why he's so pissed.
我已经感觉很自责了，所以来吧
I already feel terrible about it, so yeah,
把一切归责于我就行了
just... Just pile it on.
嘿，我见过你丈夫
Hey, I've met your husband.
我懂
I get it.
真的吗？
Really?
我意思是，除此之外你还能怎样？
I mean, what else are you supposed to do?
许多人会说我应该离婚
Uh, a lot of people would say I should get a divorce.
开玩笑
Right.
说得好像离婚就容易似的
Like that's easy.
我知道凯文这类人，他们就像...
I know guys like Kevin. They're just...
你还记得我的搭档布拉姆吧？
Mm. You remember my partner Bram?
记得记得
Uh, yeah, yeah.
他有一次求我为他做假证
He asked me to plant evidence for him once.
他把一个家伙打得半死
He beat the hell out of some guy.
那家伙是个很出名的毒贩，彻彻底底的人♥渣♥
Known drug dealer, all-around scumbag,
但他家里很干净
but his place was clean.
布拉姆搞砸了然后我替他擦的屁♥股♥
Bram messed up and I fixed it,
这件事每个人都知道
and everybody knew.
我都不知道他是怎样说服我做的
I don't even know how he got me to do it.
所以
So, yeah.
我不觉得你背叛凯文麦克罗伯茨
I don't think you're a bad person
就该认定你是一个坏人
for cheating on Kevin McRoberts.
你要接吗？是帕蒂打来的
Um, you gonna pick that up? It's Patty.
我刚刚不是告诉了么...
Oh, I just told you...
所有人都知道我在准备那个破派对
Everybody knew I planted that shit.
我实在不会说谎
I'm a terrible liar.
我是塔米，有事请留言
This is Tammy. Leave a message.
嘿，你
Hey, you.
我是帕蒂
Uh, it's... it's me.
就是打过来问问你今天在忙什么
Just... Just calling to see what you're up to today.
在这个日子里
On this day.
呃...拜
Uh... Bye.
你就不能冷静个两小时吗？
You can't cool it for like two hours?
我正在冷静，不是吗？
I'm mixin', aren't I?
你不是去了小吃摊了么
You went to the snack stand.
我的玉米片呢？
Where are my nachos?
吃那东西你总是烫着嘴然后就抱怨一整天
You always just burn your mouth and complain all day.
对啊，你给我买♥♥然后我抱怨
Yeah. You buy 'em for me and I complain.
我们在生日时候来滑冰
On my birthday, we come to the rink,
你显摆，我跌倒，然后你嘲笑我
you show off on the ice, I fall, you make fun of me,
然后你再给我买♥♥芝士烫嘴的玉米片
and then you buy me the nachos with the cheese that's too hot.
这是唯一一件你
It's the one thing that you or any...
或任何人为我做过的事情