木偶新知（2024）

They accused Sandy of stealing an egg.
你真偷了个鸡蛋吗
Did you steal an egg?
桑迪
Sandy?
经理说再也不接待
The manager said
公共广播台的人了 -真棒
no more public-radio people. - Great.
再往下走八个街区还有一家星巴克
There's another Starbucks eight blocks further down.
去那里尿啊 -不 你先去吧
Go for it. - No, you go.
我不想让你再染上男性尿路感染
I don't want you getting another men's UTI.
哦 谢谢了 芭布
Oh. Thanks, Barb.
我去给卫生间那人拿个三明治
I'll get the guy in the bathroom a sandwich.
不 卡尔 我知道你想尽力帮忙
No, Carl, I-I know you're trying to do what's best,
但我们不能自以为是向他施舍
but we can't presume to know what this man wants.
我可以去问问他
I could ask him.
他并没有义务告诉我们
Oh, so it's this man's responsibility
居无定所者
to teach us what persons currently without housing
现在喜欢吃什么
like to eat?
学学习吧 芭布
Do the work, Barb.
我可以给他钱 -我去
I could give him money. - Jesus Chri--
芭布 你开口闭口怎么总是钱
I mean, Barb, what is this craven obsession with money?
你还在纳闷为什么自己很痛苦？
And you wonder why you're miserable.
总的说来 我过得挺开心
I'm pretty happy, all things considered.
我15分钟后回来
I'll be back in 15.
卡尔 抱歉 我们得录桑迪那段了
Uh, Carl, I'm sorry, but we need to tape Sandy's segment
不然赶不上进度了
if we want to stay on schedule.
你能留下来吗 -劳伦
Can you stay? - Lauren.
没关系 芭布 我还撑得住
It's okay, Barb. I'll manage.
看到没 女士们先生们
And that, ladies and gentlemen,
所以卡尔才是我最好的朋友
is why Carl and I are best friends.
节日快乐 电影行家们
Season's greetings, movie mavens.
欢迎收听这一♥期♥的坦诚文化
It's time for another edition of "Candid Culture,"
我是你们的主持人 桑迪·库特
with me, Sandy Cooter.
你去上厕所吧 我可以替你
If you need to go, I can cover.
我没事
I'm okay.
我只要努力不去想这事就行
It helps if I focus on something else.
今天 我将分享给大家
Today I'll be sharing my views
我对安德鲁·萨姆伯格的《棕榈泉》的看法
on the Andrew Samberg romp, "Palm Springs."
你不是让他多评评最近的电影吗
Didn't you tell him to review more recent movies?
他说他看电影时 喜欢一次关着声音看
He says he likes to watch a film once with the sound off
一次闭着眼睛看 然后等上两年
and once with his eyes closed and then wait two years
让他的感受 "像克里奥尔秋葵汤一样小火发酵"
for his ideas to "simmer like a creole gumbo."
恐怕萨姆伯格先生的才华
I-I'm afraid Mr. Samberg's talents
更适合去拍《盒中迪克》这样的小品
are better suited for skits such as "Dick in a Box,"
我喜欢这样的电影 而不是那种大制♥作♥的电影
which I loved, than a major motion picture.
让我不禁想到 像迪克格雷格里这样的天才演员
The mind spins to think what a talent like Dick Gregory
才可以胜任这样的角色
could have done with a role like this.
我们想念你 迪克 真希望在盒子里的不是你
We miss you, Dick. We wish you weren't in a box.
要想严肃地谈论美丽
You can't have a serious conversation about beauty
就要请来美国最权威的专家
without America's foremost expert.
《粉雄救兵》的明星之一
One of the stars of "Queer Eye,"
他是位美发专家 故事作家
they're a hair guru, a raconteur,
他自称是"同性恋群体中的马尔科姆·艾克斯"
and self-described "Malcolm X of the gay community."
乔纳森·凡·内斯 欢迎来到"木偶新知"
Jonathan Van Ness, welcome to "In the Know."
嗯 自称是同性恋群体的马尔科姆·艾克斯
Um, "self-described Malcolm X of the gay community"?
是我们的研究员法比安说的
That's what our researcher Fabian said.
不对吗
Is that incorrect?
我更喜欢被叫做天后
I-I typically go for, like, a diva.
比如说我是惠特尼 是泰勒
Give me, like, a Whitney. Give me a Taylor.
是牛姐
Give me a Mariah.
还从没有人把我称作
I've just never been described
马尔科姆·艾克斯 但我挺着迷的
of a Malcolm X of anything before, but I'm obsessed.
乔纳森 我喜欢你在《粉雄救兵》的一点是
Jonathan, what I love about your show "Queer Eye"
你是在进行正当的报复吗
is that you're taking rightful revenge
你通过抹去异性恋的身份 对异性恋进行合理报复
against heterosexual society by erasing straight identities.
这是一个反向的转换阵营
It's sort of a conversion camp in reverse,
由五位体格强健的人
a physically imposing five-person platoon
以不及掩耳之势 冲进了异性恋的家
thunders into the hetero's home
告诉他们要是这辈子不改变自己
and tells them to change everything about themselves,
就永远不会有人爱 我觉得这太棒了
or they'll never be loved, and I think it's just wonderful.
是啊 我们把拳击那段剪掉了
Yeah, we actually edit out the boxing matches.
对 其实我们做的
Like, we actually--we also--
没错 我们确实那么做
No, we do that.
他们要是适应得不够快
Like, if they don't conform fast enough,
我们会在镜头之外 把他们揍得屁滚尿流
like, we go off camera, and we just beat the shit out of them,
我们五人齐上阵
all five of us.
你有没有去过那些脏到不行的"直男魔"的家
Do you ever show up at one of these dirty "strogres'" homes,
房♥主笨猪一头 家里会放台运动机
and it's just some dopey pig with a Bowflex
墙上再挂个鹿头
and a deer head on the wall?
你们会有那种 "抱歉 但他已经无可救药"的时刻吗
Do you ever think, well, I'm sorry, but he's beyond saving,
"这只笨猪只配生活在垃圾堆里"
let's just leave this dopey pig in his filth?
嗯 我们从没遇到过
Um, we have never really had,
你说的这种"笨猪"
like, a "dopey"...
没有 因为真的
Like, no, like, all of them--
我们觉得每个人内心深处
I think really everyone at their core
都是一个善良可爱的好人
is, like, a sweet, good person.
你怎么看"直男魔"这个词
Mm. And what do you think about the word "strogre"?
你觉得这个词能流行起来吗
Do you think it can catch on?
我一直想创造这么个词
It's a slur I've been workshopping.
这是"直男"和"食人魔"的合成词
It's a combination of the word "straight" and "ogre."
这个词乍一听上去
It's giving me, like,
像是给大提琴用的调音器
something that you would tune a cello with.
不太容易读懂
It's not giving me a read.
让我有种勉强的感觉
It's giving me forced.
你知道詹妮弗曾过说 -谁
And you know JLo just said-- - Who's that?
詹妮弗·洛佩兹啊
Jennifer Lopez, obviously.
我不认识她 她是欠薪行为的受害者吗
I'm not familiar. Is she a victim of wage theft?
别闹 亲爱的
Oh, honey.
但她提到了第三个建议
But she said her third best advice
应该是她登上时尚杂♥志♥时说的
that she got on this, like, "Vogue" thing I saw
她说过 "不要勉强"
was, like, don't force it.
直男魔给我的感觉很勉强
And "strogre" feels forced.
谢谢你的真实反馈
Mm. Thank you for your honest feedback.
很扎心 但我会勇敢地继续问下去
It hurts like hell, but I'm going to bravely power on.
乔纳森 你对于
Jonathan, what is your position
拉斯塔法里教♥徒♥的帽子上
on those Rastafarian hats
挂个假脏辫怎么看
with the fake dreadlocks attached?
是时尚还是不时尚
Is that a fashion do or a fashion don't?
我几年之前想改变一下穿衣风格
I tried to mix up my style a few years ago.
就打了一条polo领带去上班
I wore a bolo tie to work.
但我很快就后悔了 可又不敢摘
I immediately regretted it, but I couldn't take it off
因为大家会注意到你把它摘掉了
because people would notice I removed it.
真是太痛苦了
It was a kind of hell.
我这个年纪的女人很少关心时尚
Oh, a woman my age shouldn't have to worry about style.
我总跟我理发师说
I always tell my hairdresser,
剪个不那么显眼的发型就行
just try to make my head look invisible.
我觉得你看起来很棒啊
I think you look great.
我也是
Me too.
我绝对愿意约你 真的 芭布
I'd totally smash-- For real, Barb.
谢...谢谢你
Thank--thank you.
你也是 卡尔
You too, Carl.
我去洗手间看看那位先生怎么样了
I'm going to go check on the gentleman in the bathroom.
好主意
Good idea.
我在和一个也叫劳伦的顺直女约会
I'm technically dating a het cis woman also named Lauren,
但我们没有插入式性♥爱♥
but we don't have penetrative sex
因为我觉得这种做法不对
because I do find it problematic.
但我们 -那叫走侧门
But we do-- - That's called sideways.
啥叫走侧门
What's sideways?
就是你不想在阴♥道♥或菊花中
When you, like, don't want to do penetrative sex
做插入式性♥爱♥的时候
in your booty holes or vaginas.
但我们还是玩了一种
Well, we do engage
我愿意称之为"粗暴爱抚"的活动
in what I like to call "rough spooning."
她比我重45斤