木偶新知（2024）

好了金斯伯格 我们得走了
Now, Ginsberg, we must be going.
你想玩吗
Do you wanna play?
金斯伯格
Ginsberg?
嗯 当然
Um, sure.
谢谢你 金斯伯格
Thank you, Ginsberg.
只有我爸这么叫我
Only my dad calls me that.
你可以叫我埃里克
You can call me Eric.
天啊
Oh, my goodness.
这里是费卢杰吗
Is this Fallujah?
看起来很不一样
It looks so different.
你去过费卢杰吗
You've been to Fallujah?
很久以前了
A lifetime ago--
看那个
Look at that.
我以前每个星期天早上都去那家咖啡馆
I used to spend every Sunday morning at that café.
等等 你是谁
Wait, who are you?
哦 不 你不是吧 先生
Oh, no, you don't, mister.
埃里克 我♥干♥掉他了
Eric, I sniped him!
牛
Sick.
快了
Getting there.
它们打开了微波炉
They opened the door?
这些老鼠越来越聪明了
These rats are getting smart as hell.
敬鼠鼠们 火鸡节快乐
To you, rats. Happy Turkey Day.
如果你按左键 你可以选择你想用的枪
I-if you--if you click left, you can pick your guns.
嘿 金斯伯格 看
Hey, Ginsberg, look.
两个爸爸
Two dads.
我看起来像劳伦·凯斯宾吗
Do I look like Lauren Caspian?
当然
Sure.
我还以为你应该
Oh, I thought you might have
对我有个模糊的平面印象
a slightly two-dimensional idea of me.
不好意思 你没听到吗 我换个平面
Sorry, did that fall flat?
你的孩子真棒 劳伦
You've got a great kid here, Lauren.
芭布 恕我直言 我们只会有一种情况需要你批准
Barb, respectfully, the day we need your approval
我们杀人后自杀的时候
will be the day we murder-suicide.
无意冒犯
No offense.
没关系
None taken.
难以置信
Unbelievable.
芭布
Barb...
想偷我儿子
Trying to steal my son?
把她送回凤♥凰♥城
Send her back to Phoenix.
酒快煮好了
Wine's almost ready.
你们好 火鸡们
What's up, turkeys?
蔡斯 你看起来很优雅
Chase. You look so elegant.
谢谢
Oh, thanks.
我父母总是在普林斯顿俱乐部
My parents always have a black-tie Thanksgiving brunch
举♥行♥正式的感恩节早午餐
at the Princeton Club so they can go home
这样他们就可以回家自己静静喝上几杯
and get quietly drizz-unk by themselves.
哦 天哪
Oh, dear.
我其实有点难过
I'm actually kind of sad.
哈哈
LOL.
但是有一道油鱼开胃菜
But there was an oily fish appetizer
我觉得桑迪会喜欢
that I thought Sandy would be into,
所以我把它装在药店的袋子里
so I brought it in a CVS bag,
就像他喜欢那样
just like he likes it.
该死 这是谁的孩子
Oh, shit, whose kid is this?
我宁愿不告诉你
I'd rather not say.
这是劳伦的儿子埃里克 他让我给他讲
Uh, Lauren's son, Eric, is letting me bore him
我以前的无聊战争故事
with my old war stories.
不无聊啊
They're not boring.
我觉得他们有点 -芭芭拉
I think they're kind of-- - Barb.
我得和你谈谈工作上的事
I need to talk to you about a work thing.
给我找个采访嘉宾
Find me an interview guest.
没问题 什么时候要
You got it. For when?
今天就要 金斯伯格显然明显
Today. Ginsberg is obviously
在这里无聊到发疯
bored out of his mind here.
但是 今天是感恩节啊
But...it's Thanksgiving.
所以呢 找一个非美国人的嘉宾
So? Get a guest who's not American.
就找...我不知道 泽连斯基就挺好
Get-- I don't know, Volodymyr Zelenskyy.
他看起来蛮有趣的 -我觉得想要
He seems fun. - I don't think we can make
乌克兰总统放下一天工作来做节目不大可能
a day-of request to the president of Ukraine.
那就找普大帝好了
Well, then get me Putin.
我不管 给我找个嘉宾就行
I don't care, just find me a guest.
我想让金斯伯格看看我的本事
I want Ginsberg to see me in my element.
我会尽力的
I'll do what I can.
天啊
Oy gevalt.
抱歉让你和芭芭拉留在一起
Sorry to strand you with Barb.
我应该早点来救你的
I should've rescued you earlier.
她很有趣 人很好
She's interesting and nice.
无聊的有趣
Mm, interestingly boring.
她人很好...是不会...呃
And nice at s--being not, uh--
不会枯燥
Being tedious.
她曾是战地记者
She was a war journalist.
曾经是
Was.
对不起 金斯伯格 我不能眼睁睁的看着你
I'm sorry, Ginsberg, but I cannot stand idly by
被那个寡妇弄成白♥痴♥
while you lobotomize yourself with the nearest widow.
你以后会感谢我的
You'll thank me later.
你是认真的吗
Are you serious?
非常认真 但不要害怕
Very. But fear not.
我要让你见识一下我的VR游戏
I'm going to introduce you to my VR experience.
搞什么
What?
看我如何回怼的
Vigorous repartee.
我们知道你正在抵♥制♥洋节
We know you're boycotting non-Indigenous holidays,
但是家里没有你真的感觉差点什么 阿什利
but home's just not the same without you, Ashley.
我们把火鸡皮都留着 你却
We saved the turkey skin, but there's no one here to eat it.
反正我也不会吃
I wouldn't eat it anyway.
没错 抱歉
That's right, I'm sorry.
你给我们发来了那篇关于工厂化养殖的文章 令人深感不安
You sent us that disturbing article about factory farming.
妈妈也看了
Mom read it too.
真的吗
She did?
当然 亲爱的
Of course, honey.
我们看了你发来的所有文章
We read all the articles you send.
我想念你们
I miss you guys.
我的天啊 亲爱的 我们也非常想念你
Oh, my gosh, we miss you like a limb, honey.
告诉她 寇迪 -嗨 阿什利
Tell her, Codi. - Hi, Ashley!
嗨 小可爱
Hi, Boo Boo.
我听说你的4H演示很成功
I heard your four-H presentation kicked butt.
这里其实是我练气功和放屁的地方
Um, this is actually where I do qigong and pass gas.
抱歉 我得回去工作了
Sorry, I-- I got to get back to work.
再见 各位
Bye, guys.
爱你们喔
Love you.
你可能都认识他 因为他饰演了天才豪斯医生
You might know him as the brilliant Dr. Gregory House
这部剧最终催生了
on the show that would eventually inspire
美国版的《办公室》
the American version of "The Office."
休·劳瑞 欢迎来到《新知》
Hugh Laurie, welcome to "In the Know."
谢谢你 劳伦 真的 真的是
Thank you, Lauren. It's a--it's a great--
很高兴来到这里
It's a great pleasure to be here.
休 我的制片人芭芭拉声称
Hugh, my producer, Barb, claims
她能在这么短的时间内预约到你
that she was able to book you on such short notice
因为你和她是 我用她的原话 老朋友
because you and her are, and I quote, "old friends."
你现在能证明她是个骗子吗
Can you call her out now for the liar that she is?
不 恐怕不能这么做
No, I can't-- I can't do that exactly.
劳伦 我想说芭芭拉和我是
Lauren, I would say Barb and I are--
是啊 我们认识很久了
Yeah, we--we, um--we-- We go a long way back.
如果我脸有些羞红
And if I'm blushing...
也许她也是
Well, perhaps she is too.
恶心
Gross.
你对 英格兰终于有了一位男性国王
What do you think it means
这句话有什么感想
for England to finally have a male king?
有那种 爸爸回家了 的感觉吗
Is there sort of a sense that "Daddy's home"?
对我来说不是爸爸回家了
It-it's not "Daddy's home" for me.
而是 这小子回家了的感觉
Um, it's "a bloke's home."