木偶新知（2024）

《木偶新知》
罗克珊·盖伊：美国作家 文化评论家 著有《不良女性主义的告白》
希♥特♥勒♥
迈克·泰森：前重量级拳击职业拳击选手 曾获世界最年轻重量级拳击冠军
（肯定还有）
（更多）
（不知道的）
（泰勒·斯威夫特）
彭尼维斯：《IT》中的反派 一个散布恐怖情绪的小丑
充气城♥堡♥的恐怖
贝克德尔测试：一种评估作品中性别平等程度的测试
其要求是：影片包括至少两个有名字的女性角色 这些角色互相交谈 且谈话的内容与男人无关
有个人帮你看着点儿总是好的
Never hurts to have a spot.
如果我是安全代表
If I'm the safety rep,
那你就是安全代表的安全代表
then I guess you're the safety rep's safety rep.
可不能让我们的领导摔倒撞到头呀
Can't have our leader falling and bonking her head.
得保护好这优雅的脑袋
We need that elegant brain unbruised.
卡尔
Carl!
呵呵 精♥子♥银行不让我再继续捐精了
Well, the sperm bank won't let me donate anymore.
什么
What?
他们说我的精♥子♥太被动了
They said my sperm are "too passive."
它们似乎会用文火煮卵 但从不进去
Apparently, they coddle the egg without any penetration.
我没明白
I don't understand,
我也不想明白
but I don't want an explanation.
他们说 我最勇敢的精♥子♥
They said even the boldest of my sperm
也只能完成一系列的半进攻型鞠躬
only managed to do a series of "semi-offensive bows."
我不知道该怎么办了
I just don't know what to do.
你还能献血呀
You could always donate blood.
不 我拒绝献出哪怕一滴的血
Oh, no. I refuse to give even one drop
除非他们接受艾滋病患者捐献的血液
until they accept donations from people with AIDS.
很抱歉 法比安 但我和你解释过了
I'm so sorry, Fabian, but as I've tried to explain,
不能在办公室里点油灯
you're not allowed to have a lit oil lamp in the office.
这是情感支持火焰
It's an emotional support flame.
是医坐的处方吗
Is it prescribed?
这你不能问
You can't ask me that.
抱歉法比安 但规矩就是规矩
I'm sorry, Fabian. Rules are rules.
你知道有条法律规定 不能在电影院里喊 "着火了"
You know that law where you can't yell fire in a theater?
多亏了我
That's because of me.
劳伦 开播了
Lauren, you're on.
我的生活一切都好
Everything is OK with my life,
我对今天这位嘉宾的到来感到无比兴奋
and I couldn't be more excited for today's guest,
她见解深邃 聪慧多才
a multi-hyphenate of profound insight and intellect.
欢迎罗克珊·盖伊来到《新知》
Roxane Gay, welcome to "In the Know."
谢谢你们邀请我
Thank you for having me.
罗克珊 在我们开始之前
Roxane uh, before we start...
也没什么
No biggie,
但我正在处理一件很严重的私事
but I'm currently dealing with a devastating personal issue.
但这件事不会以任何方式影响访谈的
But it shan't interfere with the interview in any way.
好
OK.
感觉你是个很擅长
You are someone who seems to thrive
讨论不舒服话题的人
discussing uncomfortable topics.
你是怎么有勇气
How do you find the courage
写出这样真实得残酷的内容的
to be so brutally honest in your writing?
这个嘛 我觉得不算是勇气吧
Well, you know, I don't know that it's courage.
我就是这么做了 虽然时时刻刻都
I just do it, despite being absolutely terrified
非常害怕 但我会尽量往好处想
at all times, and hope for the best.
罗克珊 如果你觉得不舒服的话
Roxane, if it's stressing you out,
我想告诉你 我刚才提到的私事
uh, please just know that the personal situation
是个医学问题
I alluded to is a medical thing.
但我们现在不聊这个
But we're not here to talk about that.
罗克珊 你认为
Roxane, what do you think
下一波女权主义的浪潮会是什么样子的
the next wave of feminism will look like?
作为同盟 我相信
Because I believe, as an ally,
下一波浪潮肯定要由顺直白男引领
that the next wave must be led by white cis het men.
我们搞的烂摊子 我们来收拾
We've made the mess. We clean it up.
弄坏了就得付钱 -不
You break it, you bought it. - No.
下一波女权主义的浪潮将由
The next wave of feminism is going to be led
有色年轻人引领
by young people of color
因为涉及平等与公平的议题时
because they have the keenest understanding
他们对真正的利害关系
of what's truly at stake when we talk
有着最敏锐的理解
about equality and equity.
我认为黑人女性其实
And I think Black women have actually--
我勒个去
Oh, Jesus Christ.
劳伦 你想聊聊让你分心的事吗
Lauren, do you want to talk about what's distracting you?
我不 我没事
I'm not-- I'm fine.
如果你需要聊聊 有我在
Well, if you need to talk, I'm here.
我是个很好的倾听者 大家都这么说
I'm a great listener, I'm told.
你想我直接告诉你吗
Do you want me to just tell you what it is?
好啊
I do.
其实我不太愿意
I actually don't feel comfortable
在节目上聊这个
talking about it on air.
他集中不了注意力了
He can't focus.
这一段肯定很难剪
This is gonna be tough to edit.
如果能帮你减轻负担
If it helps lighten your load,
我可以来当安全代表
I could take over as safety rep.
我不能给你添这个麻烦
Oh, I couldn't put that on you.
我很愿意这么做
It'd be my pleasure.
应急管理其实是我的一大爱好
Emergency management's actually a passion of mine.
真的吗
Really?
想象能力与准备能力的碰撞
It's imagination meets preparation.
我们经常在红迪网的子版块上说
We like to say on our subreddit,
如果你能害怕 那你就能做好准备
if you can fear it, you can plan for it.
当你拥抱脆弱
When you embrace vulnerability
选择将其视作资产
and choose to see it as an asset
而非负债
rather than a liability,
这种力量是非常强大的
that can be incredibly powerful--
今天早上 我的精♥子♥被确诊为被动精♥子♥
This morning, I was diagnosed with having passive sperm.
对
There.
被动精♥子♥是什么
What on Earth is passive sperm?
可以把我的精♥子♥想象成参加
Think of my sperm almost like a seventh-grade boy
女生择伴舞会的七年级男生
at a Sadie Hawkins dance.
我去
Oh, boy.
缩在角落里打飞机
Huddling in the corner, pulling his pud,
不敢接近女生
frightened of the girls.
太难过了
And it's very upsetting
因为自♥慰♥捐精是我回馈社会的方式
because masturbating was my way of giving back.
而现在诊所竟然拒绝了我的精♥子♥
But now at clinics, they've turned me away.
我就是觉得失去意义了
And I just feel a real loss of vocation.
我能理解你觉得失去了意义
Well, I could see how you would feel a loss of vocation,
毕竟你一直为了帮助他人
what with all of that good Samaritan masturbation
而自♥慰♥
that you've been doing.
我就是不明白 如果我的精♥子♥对卵子过敏
Well, I just don't understand what I'm supposed to do
我还能怎么办
if my sperm is literally allergic to eggs.
你还是能自己自♥慰♥嘛
You can still masturbate on your own,
你要知道 你的士兵
and you can know that your soldiers have
已经尽全力去战斗了
fought as hard as they could.
就像安提塔姆战役的士兵
Like Antietam.
一模一样
Exactly like that.
罗克珊 谢谢你
Oh, Roxane, thank you.
我准备好放下了 -好的 很好
I'm ready to move on. - OK, good.
如果在末日般的狂风暴雪中
If you were stuck in a library
你被困在了图书馆里
during an apocalyptic blizzard,
为了取暖 你会最先烧掉哪本书
what is the first book you would burn for warmth?
我的话 我会先烧掉马尔科姆·格拉德威尔的《眨眼之间》
For me, it would be Malcolm Gladwell's "Blink"
因为我就是觉得 你懂的
because I just believe-- And, you know,
我是站在中立客观的立场上说这话的
I mean this in a neutral and objective way--
这书纯粹在胡说八道
It's pure horseshit.
季节性抑郁怎么就不是一个严重的安全问题了
How is seasonal depression not a serious safety issue?
对啊
Totally.
佛罗里达州完全没有人
I don't know anybody back at Florida State
会抑郁
that's depressed.
很多人酒精中毒 但没几个人会自杀
Lots of alcohol poisoning but very few suicides.
很明显 芭布当安全代表太久了
Barb's clearly been safety rep for far too long.
被权力冲昏了头
The power's gone to her head.
革命万岁
Viva la revolución.
你知道 人们不知道该怎么看待我
You know, people don't know how to take me.