木偶新知（2024）

随便哪只普通的鹦鹉也会模仿
A common parrot can do an imitation though.
比如非洲灰胡子鹦鹉
African Grey Beard--
我不是指你是非裔美国人
Not because you're African American--
或者你的灰胡子
Or that you have a gray beard.
我永远不会叫你非洲灰胡子
I would never call you African Grey Beard.
如果大家不介意
Now, if you'll excuse us,
金斯伯格和我6点前要到寿司达摩
Ginsberg and I are due at Sushi Damo by 6:00.
我们能像普通人一样吃火鸡吗
Can we just eat turkey like regular people?
我们凯斯宾父子就是不按常理出牌
Caspians are anything but regular.
你今晚听到的金句和打油诗
The quotables and limericks you hear tonight
将会是滋润
will be what you bring back to the literal
你所生活的文化沙漠的甘泉
and cultural desert where you live.
我不想去
I don't wanna go.
我们已经错过了19道菜中的3道了
We've already missed three of the 19 courses.
而我本人 拒绝再错过第五道
And I, for one, refuse to miss course five.
副厨会在你吃东西的时候捶你的
The sous-chef pinches you while you eat.
去拿外套 金斯伯格
Get your coat, Ginsberg.
去拿外套 金斯伯格
Get your coat, Ginsberg.
我们不能被低端的
We shan't waste our day
大众口味所裹挟
with the lowest common denominator.
够了
That's enough.
看着我
Look at me.
我读的书又厚又无聊
I read big, awful books,
我看的电影简直来自地狱
and I watch movies that are homework from hell.
金斯伯格
Ginsberg!
金斯伯格的妈妈在热水浴缸里被我人工授精
I got Ginsberg's mom pregnant in a hot tub.
因为她读了一首女权主义的诗 搞得我兴奋了
She read a feminist poem, and I jizzed,
通过某种病态的奇迹 金斯伯格诞生了
and through some sick miracle, Ginsberg was conceived.
孩子 你不该知道的事
Oh, kiddo, you shouldn't know that.
那是天然温泉
It was a natural hot springs.
我们要和一群陌生人去参加刺身感恩节
We're gonna go to a raw fish Thinks-giving with strangers
因为我做的每件事都必须有趣
because everything I do has to be interesting...
金斯伯格 -哪怕几乎没人
Ginsberg-- - Even though hardly anyone
关注我 而那些关注我的人
pays attention to me, and the ones who do...
够了 -都觉得我寂寞
That's enough! - Just think I'm lonely!
可悲
And sad!
差劲
And lame!
你们也能看到那个小男孩 对吧
Uh, everyone else could see that little boy too, right?
你哭泣时发出的声音
The sound you make when you weep
让我偏头痛都犯了
is giving me a migraine.
我儿子讨厌我
My son hates me.
并不是 我才讨厌你
No. I hate you.
你儿子只是在生你的气
Your son is just angry with you.
不 我是个烂人
No, I suck.
我是个大烂人
I suck so bad.
别再发出这种声音了 你个贱♥人♥
Stop making that sound, you bitch.
没想到你居然用了那个词
I didn't think you used that word.
我通常不会用的
I usually don't.
你是想让我听你哭鼻子 还是想让我帮你解决问题
Do you want me to listen, or do you want me to solve it?
能解决吗
Mm, solve it?
别再逼金斯伯格变得像你一样了
Stop trying to get Ginsberg to be like you.
甚至你自己都不喜欢做自己
You don't even like being you.
我喜欢做我自己啊
I love being me.
不 求你了 求你了
No! Please, please.
好吧 告诉我该怎么做
Okay, tell me what to do.
做个好爸爸就好
Just be a dad.
做一个普通、无趣的爸爸
Be a normal, boring dad.
我不知道怎么变得无聊
I don't know how to be boring.
错了 贱♥人♥
Wrong, bitch!
你一直就很无聊
You are boring.
我也是 所以我才讨厌你
So am I. That's why I hate you.
你就像一面魔镜 让我知道
You're like a magic mirror that shows me
自己真是个大骗子
what a sweaty fraud I am.
看看我们
I mean, look at us.
没人鸟我的抗♥议♥活动
I'm staging a protest for nobody,
而你却拖着儿子 和一群根本不喜欢你的书呆子一起
and you're dragging your son to get mercury poisoning
去吃刺身吃到汞中毒
with nerds who don't even like you.
这又如何呢
And for what?
我们还是很无聊 劳伦
We're still boring, Lauren.
可现在我们又无聊又孤单
Now we're just boring and alone.
那我该拿金斯伯格怎么办
So wh-what do I do with Ginsberg?
我不知道
I don't know.
试着去喜欢他喜欢的东西
Just try to enjoy the things he enjoys.
他的快乐就是我的快乐
His pleasure is my pleasure.
当然了 多元的爱
Of course--compersion.
费比安 谢谢你
Fabian, thank you.
别哭了 你个小贱♥人♥
Stop crying, you little bitch.
我们一起走过千山万水
♪ We've come too far together ♪
把一切都抛在脑后
♪ To throw it all away ♪
因为就在我的心里 女孩
♪ 'Cause right here in my heart, girl ♪
你将永远留在我心里
♪ Forever you will stay ♪
宝贝 你就是我的唯一
♪ 'Cause, baby, you're the one ♪
让我有勇气面临艰难险阻
♪ That keeps me hanging on ♪
你还好吗
Hello?
我知道
I know.
是时候去吃寿司了
It's time to go to sushi.
我马上就下来
I'll be down in a second.
我想 要不我们就留在这里吧
I-- I thought maybe we could stay here.
为什么
Why?
我在想 也许
Well, I was thinking maybe
我们可以一起玩你喜欢的杀人游戏
we could play that killing game that you like.
你不会喜欢的
You won't like it.
里面没有任何爵士乐评论家
There aren't any jazz critics in it.
好吧 如果你不介意的话 埃里克
Well, if it's-- If it's okay with you, Eric,
至少我想试一试
I-I'd like to at least try it.
我的天哪 太真实了
Oh, my goodness, this is very realistic.
而我必须当一名士兵吗
And I have to be a soldier?
不能外交途径解决吗
There's no diplomatic option?
是的 你是个战士
Yeah, you gotta be a s-soldier.
你在打仗
You're in the war.
我在打仗
I'm in the war.
哦 谢天谢地
Oh, thank God.
我们还担心你是上来跳楼自杀呢
We were worried you'd come up here to kill yourself.
劳伦没死 伙计们
Lauren's not dead, guys.
他在玩游戏
He's playing a game.
烤得恰到好处
Mmm, mulled to perfection.
哦 小心 -哦 天哪
Oh, look out. - Oh, goodness!
有人在攻击我
Someone's attacking.
是伊♥斯♥兰♥国吗
ISIS! Or is it?
这是战争迷雾吗
Is it the fog of war?
爸爸
Dad!
你不用这么
You don't have
一直动来动去
to move around so much.
我不想这么说 但我很享受暴♥力♥
I-- I hate to say it, but I'm enjoying the violence.
我喜欢杀人
I like to kill.
手榴弹
Grenade!
爸爸
Dad!
我还活着
I'm alive.
伍德斯托克音乐节又救了我们
Woodstock has saved us again.
第一次是69年 然后是99年
First in '69, then in '99,
还有如今的2019年
and now, in 2019.
桑迪 现在是2023年
Sandy, it's 2023.
有时我在想
♪ Sometimes I wonder ♪
如果我能回到家园
♪ If I'm ever gonna make it home again ♪
归途漫漫 道阻且长
♪ It's so far and out of sight ♪
可有人愿与我促膝长谈
♪ I really need someone to talk to ♪
今夜我却形单影只
♪ And nobody else knows how to comfort me tonight ♪
风雪呼啸
♪ Snow is cold ♪
冰雨飘摇
♪ Rain is wet ♪
我的灵魂
♪ Chills my soul ♪