难以伺候

-对 -不能说"公♥寓♥"
- Yeah. Right. - Can't say "Flat."
一下就露馅了
It's just a dead giveaway.
他们会说"大♥麻♥烟"吗
And I don't know if they say "Spliff" here.
不重要了 听着
Doesn't even matter. Listen.
角色带入得很好
The character is coming along quite nicely.
真是很好的练习 很有帮助
It's a great exercise. Very helpful.
我跟你说 等他们下周在课堂上看到这个
Tell you what, they see this next week in class,
肯定会惊掉他们的下巴 等着瞧吧
it's gonna knock their tits off. Watch.
零钱拿好 你这禽兽 太赞了
Keep the change, you filthy animal. Fucking A.
这东西要掉了 这可好
This is falling off my face. Great.
快拍一张 用方框模式 这是我的
Okay, quick photo. Do the, um, square one. Here's mine.
我知道怎么用iPhone 宝贝
I know how to use an iPhone, babe. ?
不过姑娘们 腿合拢
But, ladies, keep your legs together
工作一天了都 我可不想看到那些
because after a long day at work, I don't want to see that!
小塔 我看着你呢
Hey, Tabs, I'm looking at you.
我不想拿到那个 收好了
I don't want to see that. Lock that up.
还有谁希望麦克斯是直的
Who else wishes Max was straight?
闪开 贱♥人♥ 自己找个同志老公去
Back off, bitch. Get your own gay husband.
不对 你下个月就要跟他结婚了
Oh, wait, you're marrying him next month.
好了姑娘们 说
Okay, ladies, everybody say,
我跟我男朋友说他尺寸一般
"I tell my boyfriend he's normal-sized!"
麦克斯 赶紧照
I do! ?Max, just take the fucking picture.
说 碧昂斯
Say, "Beyoncé!"
碧昂斯
Beyoncé!
棒
Yas, kweens!
天 彻底被你毁了
Oh, my God, you're killing it.
我们懂的 你有渠道接触社交媒体
It's like, we get it, you have access to social media.
那个说她以前会给自己下药的呢
Okay, what about the one who said she used to roofie herself?
我们都干过
Yeah, we all did that,
但我知道你说的是谁 科特尼
but I know who you're talking about: Courtney.
她真是疯了 一直跟我说她堕胎的事
She's crazy. She was telling me about all her abortions.
我们以前都说计生办给她发了积分卡
Yeah, we used to say Planned Parenthood gave her a punch card.
有点像切尔西·韩德勒的笑话
Okay, that sounds like a Chelsea Handler joke.
我要谷歌♥一下
I will Google it.
麦克斯 能帮我调下辫子吗 有点松了
Max, can you fix my braids? They're coming loose.
好 但我需要大头夹 你都给我用光了
Yes, babe, but I need bobby pins 'cause y'all cleaned me out.
我有三个字送你
Oh, I have three words for y'all!
新奥尔良春假
New Orleans spring break!
去买♥♥点大头夹
Go get us bobby pins.
还有 伏特加也没了
Oh, also, we are out of vodka.
-你晚点不是要出去吗 -对
- Aren't you going out later? ?- Yeah.
但我们要拿伏特加泡卫生棉条
But we wanna do vodka tampons.
吸我的菊花
天啊
Oh, my God.
天
Oh, Jesus.
我的天
Oh, my God.
你这儿租金得多少
What is your rent like?
你听说过那场地动山摇的灾难吧
You heard about the whole debacle with the swing snapping, right?
-不是真的 -天 太糟了
- That did not happen. - Oh, man, it was so bad.
这个可怜的老女人跪下了
This poor, dear older woman went down.
不可能
No, please.
-整个下面都是她的回声 -天啊
- You could hear it echo throughout the entire Armory. - Oh, my God.
幸运的是 没人受伤
Luckily, nobody got hurt.
但你都能想象她那单薄的
But, I mean, you could just imagine her poor,
脆弱的骨头被撞得粉碎
frail bones just getting pulverized.
要是你看了纪录片《艺术家的存在》
If you watch "The Artist is Present" Documentary,
那个裸体女孩被保安送走那段
you can see me in the background when that naked girl
你会看到背景里有我
gets escorted out by the guards.
我当时的表情差不多这样
And I'm, like, giving here a look. I'm like... ?
其实她是我朋友 她叫乔瑟芬
She's actually my friend. That's Josephine.
-她是个天才电影人 -是吗
- She's a genius filmmaker. - Oh, yeah?
那你叫什么来着
And what's your name, by the way?
我叫麦克斯
I'm Max.
很高兴认识你 麦克斯
Nice to meet you, Max.
你可能看过我演的小黄♥片♥
You might remember me from when I was eating out your asshole.
我就觉得在哪见过你
You know, I thought you looked familiar from somewhere. Yeah.
-我叫塞巴斯蒂安 -好
- I'm Sebastian. ?- Oh, cool.
-抱歉 帮我拿下 -当然
- Oh, sorry. Would you-- - ?Sure. Yeah.
不好意思
Sorry.
史蒂夫吐在咱们的沙发上了
买♥♥点空气清新剂
该死 我得走了
Oh, shit. I gotta go, man.
很高兴能操你 麦克斯
it was a pleasure to fuck you, Max.
我找不到我的连体裤了 你看到了吗
You haven't seen my jumpsuit anywhere, have you?
你要去哪找乐子吗 我能一起吗
What? Are you going somewhere fun? Can I come?
其实我是要去参加互助会
I actually have to go to a meeting.
我在戒毒
I'm in recovery.
说真的 你在哪 我们要去唱K了
其实我也在戒毒 我也是
I'm actually in recovery too. I am, too.
-是吗 -我彻底错过了一场互助会
- Yeah? - And I'm really overdue for a meeting.
-那我们一起去吧 -太好了
- Well, maybe we should go together. - I'd love that.
大家好 我是达内尔 我有毒瘾
Hey, y'all. I'm Darnell. Addict.
保持清醒
你好 达内尔
Hi, Darnell.
大家好
Hey, everybody.
今天 我跟你们说
Today, girl...
如果我能一整天不吸冰♥毒♥
if I make it through this day without smoking tina,
那绝对是上帝的恩赐
then it is literally by the grace of God
跟我自己一点关系都没有
and it had nothing to do with me.
一切都是地雷 一切 比如鞋子
Everything's a trigger today. Everything. Like a shoe.
我还记得那次我看到一只鞋
Like, oh, I remember that time I saw that shoe.
当时我在吸冰♥毒♥ 然后我就
When I was smoking that tina and then I was, like, blowing
就像开垃圾车的哥们 就这表情
that guy behind the dumpster. It was, like, literally like that.
那次我在自助洗衣店 响起了一首歌♥
So I'm at the, um, laundromat and this song comes on.
大概唱了有两句吧
Within like the first two notes of the song,
我低下了头 整个人就
I look down and I'm like,
好吧 是时候来一口了
"All right. Yeah, now is the time to get a boner."
这种时候你会真想来一口 是吧
This is when-- this is when you really want one, right?
自助洗衣店啊
At the laundromat!
有一次我遇到一个叫旺达的姑娘
When you're looking at some lady named Wanda.
我和旺达 我说 你好啊 旺达
Right? Me and Wanda. I'm like, "Hey, Wanda."
她就在那傻站着
She's over there just clueless.
她说 真高兴见到你 达内尔
She's like, "Oh it's so good to see you, Darnell!"
我说 肯定没我见到你高兴
I'm like, "Apparently not as good as it is to see you, honey."
我想说的是 瘾君子只有两种日子
What I'm supposed to say is addicts have two days.
好日子和更好的日子
You have good days and you have great days.
好日子就是
A good day is when, like, everything goes
一切按部就班 而且你没嗑药
like, your way and you don't use,
更好的日子就是
and then a great day is when literally
一切都乱了套 而你仍然没嗑药
nothing goes your way and you still don't use.
今天肯定会是更好的一天 对吧
So, this is gonna be a great fucking day, all right?
她男朋友跌跌撞撞走在布鲁克林区
Her boyfriend was just stumbling around Brooklyn
就像圣诞节时的波兰人
like a Polack on Christmas.
天
Oh, my God. ?
记得提醒我千万别再跟这些人出去了
Just remind me never to go out with those people again.
好 没问题
Okay, I will. ?
我需要最大号♥的早餐三明治
I need, like, the biggest, narstiest breakfast sandwich
才能把这些酒吸收了
to soak up all this alcohol.
这有带香肠肉汁的小饼干
there's biscuits with sausage gravy.
天啊
Oh, my God!
天啊 我爱你
Oh, my God, I love you!
哥们 今天你付账行吗
Oh, hey, boo, um, can you pay for this today?
我昨晚把信♥用♥卡♥落酒吧里了
I left my card at the bar last night.
行 但这次你得把钱还我
Yeah, boo, but I need you to pay me back this time.
对了 你昨晚去哪了
Oh, hey, what'd you get up to last night?
那个马脸妹子摔倒后我就没见着你了
I lost you after that horse-faced girl fell down.
我用了约炮应用
I did my sex app.
-我跟你说了别用了 我知道
- I told you to stop doing that. - I know.
你是对的 结果很糟
You're right, it's bad.
你们要喝点什么吗
?Can I get you guys some drinks?
好 来点血腥玛丽吧
Oh, yeah. I think we should get some Bloody Marys.
我不用 谢了
Oh, none for me. Thanks.
我有点反胃