难以伺候

*The chair is mine*
吉姆
Jim.
你能换成音频再打回来吗
Can you call me back the normal way?
什么 你说什么
What's that, bud? What'd you say?
现在是视频
This is, video.
没错 这是视频通话
Yeah, it's FaceTime.
我重新给你打过去
I'll call you back.
所有人都嫌弃视频通话
Nobody wants to do the FaceTime.
这还差不多 什么事
Here we go. How can I help you?
今晚我看护简
I'm babysitting Jane tonight.
你可得来陪陪我
You got to come to the parlor floor.
好啊 那我送完货后去你那
Okay, cool. So, uh, I'll put you last
正好你把播放列表给我 怎么样
and then I can get those playlists from you. Sound good?
回见
See you, man.
感觉好点了吗
Feel better.
人到底能睡多久啊
How long can a person sleep for?
从社会学角度来说
It was fun and I mean, interesting
还算挺有意思的
from like, a sociological perspective.
我很高兴我去了...
And I'm totally glad I went...
是啊 我觉得他们都要来院子里露营了
Yeah, I think they're all camping out in our yard.
没错 院子里都是日间狂欢派
Yes, and our backyard is full of day ravers.
你看到浑身亮片的就知道是他们了
You will know them by their trail of glitter.
那些姑娘肯定一看他就觉得反胃
I just... There's no way those girls aren't skeeved out by him.
也许并不会
Well, maybe they're not.
我上过一个比我大26岁的人
I once fucked a guy that was 26 years older than me.
什么
What?! ?
什么时候的事
When was this?
早在我们认识之前了
It was way before our time.
别往你们自己身上扯
Don't make it about you.
我从小就去好市多买♥♥东西
I used to go to Costco when I was a kid.
那里的东西是真便宜啊
You really can't beat the savings.
从八十年代到现在 他家的热狗加冰水
I mean, they've been selling a hot dog and a fountain soda
只卖♥♥一块五
for $1.50 since the '80s.
-多棒 -没错 热狗真♥他♥妈♥好吃
- Come on! - That's right. Those hot dogs are fucking good.
他家还接受退货
And they'll let you return anything.
随便退 一句废话都没有
Anything. No questions asked.
我退过一个充气游泳池
I returned an inflatable pool island
那泳池被奎恩玩了一夏天
that Quinn used for an entire summer,
他们还是退款了
they still gave me my money back.
-扯淡 -还是现金
- Bullshit. - ?Cash.
-现金 -连收据都没有
- Cash? - ?No receipt.
-他家太给力了 -简直了
- They're fabulous. - That is incredible.
我忍♥不住去好市多
I just can't give up Costco, man.
一到那儿我就心如止水
I feel so fucking calm in that place.
慢着 他多大了
Wait. How old is he?
-67岁 -67
- ?He's 67. - 67.
他67了
He's 67?
-是啊 -我连门都出不了
- Yeah. - ?I can't even get out of the house.
我一直想
I mean, I've been trying to see--
我一直想带她去看百老汇音乐剧
I've been trying to take her to see
《汉密尔顿》 总不成行
"Hamilton" forever.
那出剧很精彩
Oh, it is so good.
我们明白你的意思
We totally get it though.
那天我们在红钩区买♥♥了青柠派
We got key lime pie in Red Hook the other day,
-羡慕 -难度堪比
- Oh, my... - and it was like
-我喜欢那儿 -攀登珠穆朗玛峰
- I love that place. - scaling Mount Everest.
美味得让人心满意足
The satisfaction we felt,
-真没想到 -我可什么都没吃到
- it was ridiculous. - Yeah. And I didn't eat anything.
这样吧 亲爱的 我们该出门走走
But you know... honey, we should just go for strolls.
-散散步 -好的
- Just go for a walk. ?- Oh, right.
别他妈逗了
Are you fucking kidding me?
要花好几个小时才能出门
It'd take two hours to get out the door.
-好吧 -不 我来吧
- Okay. - Oh, no, no, I'll get it.
我去吧
I'll get her.
好吧 好吧
Okay. Okay.
我在图片分享网上看到简会走路了
So, I saw on Instagram, Jane is walking.
-是啊 -是啊
- Yeah. ?- She is.
你们打算怎么处理婴儿车
What are you guys doing with her stroller?
这么说你退休后就搬到纽约了
So, what you retired and then you moved to New York?
没几个人这么做啊
I don't hear about that very often.
我过去是个大混♥蛋♥ 所以
I mean, I used to be a fucking asshole, so...
-是吗 -是的
- Really? - ?Oh, yeah.
孩子们小时候我精力都放工作上了
Yeah, I was working my ass off for my entire kids' childhood.
感觉就像他们出生 我去上班
It was like, they were born and I went to work
驻扎在工作岗位上 一晃三十年就过去了
where I slept and woke up 30 years later.
只是工作
Just working?
是啊 我就...一直在推广我的公♥司♥
Yeah, I just... selling the company, man.
-明白 -这地方的关键在于
- Yeah. - And the idea behind this place,
让孙辈生活中
is to expose the grandkids
-能接触多元文化 -不错
- to a little culture, a little diversity... - Ok.
就不会像奎恩兄妹俩那样
so they're not so scared growing up
战战兢兢地成长
like Quinn and her brother were.
神经兮兮的 局促得要命
You know, so fucking uptight.
是啊 她老公看起来也神经兮兮的
Yeah, her husband's kind of uptight, too.
天啊 他们有打电♥话♥跟你说蜱虫的事吗
Oh, God. Did they call you about that tick thing?
-没有 -我的乖乖
- No. - ?Oh, baby.
他们说了要打给你的
They said they were gonna call you.
这是绝佳示例
Well, here's a perfect example.
你上次来了之后 他们气坏了
They got all bent out of shape after you came last time
因为你扔了一个瓶子
because apparently you threw away a bottle
里面有他们养的一只蜱虫
they were saving a tick in.
是我
Yes.
那只蜱虫在蒙托克咬了宝宝一口
The tick that bit the baby in Montauk.
-啥 -我认识被派去打过越战的人
- What? - I know people drafted into Vietnam
都比他俩对那蜱虫的态度淡定
who reacted more calmly than those two about that tick.
真是...太糟了
That's... terrible.
我居然扔了他们的蜱虫 天啊
I took their tick, man.
之前一整周我都看着这两个家伙
I've just been watching those two run around like assholes
急得团团转 谈论蜱虫和莱姆病
for the past week talking ticks and Lyme disease,
我心想这都什么破事啊
and I'm just thinking this shit is fucking cray.
确实是破事
Yeah. That is cray.
等等
Wait a minute.
前线来报
News from the front.
约一刻钟回来
They'll be home in about 15 minutes or so.
那么 我们应该可以安心抽一支了
So, it seems like we can safely smoke that thing.
行啊 好主意
All right. That sounds good.
我这就去烧水
I can put the kettle on and, um...
你要喝点什么 茶还是啤酒
You want something? Tea, beer?
啤酒就好
Beer would be good.
我拿点迪恩的家酿啤酒 还不错
I'll get some of Dean's craft beer, some good shit.
不 我不想喝他酿的啤酒
No, I don't want to drink his craft beer.
我给了钱的 没事
Oh, I bought it, it's fine.
-谢谢 -谢谢
- Thank you. - Thank you.
她的指甲可脏了
Her fingernails were so dirty.
-你真没注意到吗 -我真没注意到
- Did you really not notice that? ?-Did I notice that her
她指甲很脏吗
fingernails were dirty?
-问你呢 -我没有看到
- Yes. - No, I did not see that.
天啊 藏污纳垢的
Oh, my gosh, they were filthy.
你居然没注意到
I can't believe you didn't notice that.
人家很忙 在制♥造♥业工作
Well, she's busy. She works in production.
每天工作15个小时
She has like, 15-hour days.
这理由不靠谱
That is a ridiculous excuse.
-再说她是个女同 -是啊
- Also, she's a lesbian. ?- Yeah.
指甲卫生对她就尤为重要啊
So you'd think that would be, like, extra important to her.
-至少对琼很重要 -嗯
- Or to Joan. ?- Yeah...
而且我吃了她做的东西
And like, I ate her food.
并不是我觉得她很脏什么的
It's not like I think she's a filthy person.
-我知道 -我只是不会想做她的炮♥友♥
- No, I know. - I just would not want to be her sex partner with--
你闻到了吗 什么东西烧了吗
Do you smell that? Is something burning?
我的天 爸
Oh, my God, Dad!
爸 爸