难以伺候

你觉得我是个废柴 是吧
You think I'm some kind of loser, right?
-没有 -好像我不知道怎么满足女人
- No, I-- - Like I don't know how to keep a woman satisfied.
-我可没那么说 -对 我算什么男人啊
-I didn't say that. - Right. What kind of guy am I?
我懂 我懂
I get it. I get it. I get it!
来 我可以来一口
Hey, hey, I-- I can have a hit.
我来一口
I'll take a hit.
很好 兄弟
Nice, brother.
还在吸 还有呢
Still pulling? We got more.
你那还有
You got more. ?
在丹麦 当妓♥女♥还得交税
In Denmark, they tax the prostitutes is all I'm saying.
在乌拉圭 啥都合法
Uruguay, it's all legal.
毒品和妓♥女♥都合法
Drugs and prostitutes.
算是那边的文化了
It's part of the culture there.
真酷 你对妓♥女♥了解真多
Cool, man. You know a lot about... prostitutes.
-真有才 -你觉得我胳膊怎么样
- It's really impressive. - Hey, what do you think of my arms?
你呢
What about you?
我胳膊够带劲吗
Think my arms are jacked?
带劲 哥们 非常带劲
Yeah, man. They're jacked.
我也觉得
Yeah. I think so, too.
很酷的胳膊
Cool arms.
听着 你要了大♥麻♥
So listen, you got the Dank Sinatra,
还要了1/4的医用大♥麻♥
and then you got a quarter of O.G. Kush,
一共200块
so that's-- that's $200, man.
你有没有想过开展那种
would you, uh, ever want to start
提高顾客忠诚度的项目
one of those customer loyalty programs
比如买♥♥♥一♥送♥一♥那种 对我这样的人
like buy one, get one free, you know, for people like me?
不行 因为我...
I can't do that 'cause I don't--
我的生意还没好到
My business isn't going well enough
-能免费送的程度 -是吗
- to give away free product. ?- Really?
我都请你进了家门
Even after I invite you into my home,
好好款待了你 还给你介绍了我的大副
give you hospitality, serve you my special mate?
-大副 -大副
- Mate. ?- Mate.
-不是 -这一点意义都没有吗
- No-- - ?Doesn't that count for anything?
不会 很有意义 我很感激
Oh, no, it really does. I appreciate it, man,
但我说了...
and like I said--
那能不能来点附赠样品什么的
Well, what about, like, a free joint or something?
我没有提前卷好的 没法...
You know, I don't have any pre-rolled, so I can't--
我自己卷
Well, fuck, I'll roll one.
琼西 卷一支大♥麻♥烟行吗
Chauncey, roll a spliff, will ya?
急什么
Whoa, what's the rush?
柯林说你经常跟他一起去抽大♥麻♥
Colin says you hang out and smoke with him all the time.
我知道 我有时间的话确实会跟他出去
I know, but, you know, when I have time, I do
我们认识有一段时间了
'cause, you know, we've known each other a while,
-我们是朋友 -怎么 我俩就不是朋友
- we're friends, and-- - What, we're not friends?
我们是朋友
We're friends.
只是...
I just...
我只见过你两次
I've only met you twice, so...
所以我没好意思说我们是朋友
I didn't think to say we were friends yet.
-我开玩笑呢 -好吧
- I'm kidding. ?- Oh. Okay.
我明白 我是客户
I know, I'm a customer.
我懂的
?I get it.
我也懂了
I get it too.
不过我算你的金牌客户前五名吧
But I'm in your top five customer-wise though, right?
对 你是我最喜欢的客户
Oh, yeah. You're-- you're my favorite customer.
强尼 我真得走了
Look, Johnny, I really gotta get going.
我现在真有点忙 好吗
I'm very busy right now, okay?
行行行 没问题
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No problem.
你拿着那把武士刀还挺帅的 哥们
You look cool with that katana, brother.
-谢谢 -你该考虑买♥♥一把
- Thank you. ?- You should consider getting one.
来数数吧
So let's count these out.
不是吧 哥们
Oh, no, man.
别别别 别数了
I-- No, no, no. Stop, stop, stop.
我需要纸钞
I need-- I need cash.
我不能背着一罐零钱到处走
I'm not carrying around, like, a heavy can of change or anything like that.
去你的 哥们
Well, fuck, bro.
我没不敬的意思
I don't mean to be disrespectful,
但你应该有力气抗点东西吧
but you could probably afford to do some lifting.
真没想到天天骑自行车都没让你...
Um... ?I'm surprised all that bike riding doesn't' keep you--
小心点
Hey careful!
这是真正的武士刀
This is an authentic samurai sword
是在富士山锻造出来的
forged at the base of Mount Fuji.
我真得...
I... I really gotta get to--
你该做点高♥强♥度间歇训练
You should do some high intensity intervals
要是你想减掉肚腩的话
if you want to lose that gut.
可以在你的自行车上做
You could even do 'em on that bike of yours.
超级推荐用这些家伙
Yeah. ?I highly recommend one of these guys.
每天做个几组
Couple sets of these every day...
那些硬币就不会那么重了 对吧
those coins wouldn't be so heavy for you, would they?
对 你是对的
Yeah, I guess you're right.
我...
So I'm...
我需要200块纸钞 哥们
I need $200 in cash, man.
-拜托了 -听着 哥们
- Please? ?- Listen, bro,
要是你的生意不太好
if you're business isn't doing too well,
我可以借点钱给你
I can lend you some cash
当然利息不会太高
at a low interest rate of course.
谢了 不是那回事
Yeah? Oh, thanks. It's not that.
只是还有其他客人
It's just that I have other people
在等着我过去呢
who are waiting for me to come to them.
要不这样吧
Oh! How 'bout this?
我可以帮你做顾问
I could help you out by coming on as a consultant.
比如
Like for-- for example,
要是你雇了员工
maybe if you hired some employees,
你就可以卖♥♥更多的大♥麻♥
you could sell more weed!
这条建议免费
That one's free.
真是好主意
That's a great idea.
-我会考虑的 -我要分一半
- I'll think about it. - So, you know I would ask for half.
当然
Of course. Of course.
稍等 是丽萨
Oh, hold on one second. This is Lisa right here.
稍等
Oh. ?Hold on.
你打来是准备好好聊了吗
Are you calling 'cause you're ready to talk reasonably?
等等 什么
Wait, what?
谁跟你说的 放屁
Who said that to you? That's fucking bullshit.
-你好 -我没有 胡扯 我没有
- Hey, man. - ?I did not. That's bullshit! I did not.
如果是她说的 那么是的
If-- if she's the one who told you that, then yes,
你姐姐是个骗子
your sister is a liar.
我会告诉她
Well, I would tell her
要是她敢来当着我的面说
if she wants to come over here and say that to my face,
给我看她的证据 那也许还能聊聊
and show me her said proof, then maybe we can talk.
你们是室友吗
You guys roommates?
对
Yeah!
到底怎么了宝贝 别那么说话
What's up, baby? Don't talk like that.
好吗 别那么说话
Okay? Don't talk like that.
-谢了 -而且
- Thank you. - ?On top of everything else,
我根本什么都没做
I didn't do anything at all,
所以没有什么而且
so there's no "On top of" and there's no this!
我就...
I'm just gonna...
我看着呢 可你没听我说
I'm watching, I'm-- but you're not listening!
零钱拿好[不用找零了] 你这禽兽
Keep the change, you filthy animal.
我爱你
I love you.
谢谢
Thank you.
他去哪了
Where the fuck did he go?
他走了
He left.
是吗
Really?
这就走了
Just like that?
我跟他说 零钱拿好 你这禽兽
I told him, "Keep the change, you filthy animal."
《小鬼当家》里的 说得好 哥们
"Home Alone." Nice, mate. Good one.
你觉得怎么样 还行吗
So what'd you think? How was it?
有些地方你的口音不太稳
Your accent was a little wonky in certain places,
但我不想深究了
but I don't want to get into that.
你应该明白我的意思吧
I think you know what I'm talking about.