大学同学（2017）

-我很喜欢 真的 -不行
- I love that-- I do love-- - No!
-那是个好故事 -不是 你的帽子
- It's a good story. - No, that hat!
我绝对不允许在我约会的世界里
I do not want to date in a world
有人戴这个帽子
where a person can wear that hat.
这是贾斯汀·塞洛克斯的麦克斯莫达
It's Max Moda by Justin Theroux.
他很酷的
He's really cool.
-老天 -对着镜子看还不错
- Jesus Christ. - It looks good in the mirror.
快拿走
Put it away.
你觉得如何 这看起来像是XXL的吗
What do you think? Does this look like a double XL to you?
我不知道这是什么尺码 但很适合你
I don't know what size it is, but it's the right one.
战争结束了 修身款赢得了胜利
The war's over. Slim cut won.
我看起来就像一根白香肠
I look like a white sausage.
我觉得非常显瘦
I feel like it's very slimming.
你说得对 你说得对 就它了 我很喜欢
You're right. No, you're right. This is it. I like it.
-为什么不喜欢 你看起来很棒 -我买♥♥了
- What's not to like? You look fantastic. - I'm gonna take it.
-很好 -而且只要五块钱
- Good. - And it's only $5.
很好 买♥♥完了 就这样
Great. Sold. We're good.
-太紧了 -是的
- It was too tight. - Yeah.
但现在这样从正面看起来非常好
But it looks good in front now.
就应该这样 再穿件运动夹克就行了
That's what it needed. Now you just throw on a blazer.
-美丽的运动 -美丽的运动
- Jogo bonito! - Jogo bonito!
你们好
What's up?
-各位 这是丽莎 -你们好
- Guys, this is Lisa. - Hi.
她今天有点想踢球
She's a little Severino for the day.
你大学也踢球还是就高中踢
You play college ball or just high school?
就初级水平 我踢得真的很差
Elementary, mainly, I'm really bad.
我看起来像是运动型 但并不是
I look athletic, but I am not--
当然 你不是
Sure, you're not.
-她会很棒的 -好了 我们热身吧
- She's gonna be fine, gonna be great. - Okay, guys, let's warm up.
动起来 动起来 动起来
Drill, drill, drill!
好了 开动 开动 开动
Alright, drill, drill, drill!
看起来强度好大 我要不还是在边上看着
This looks intense. Maybe I should watch--
不不不 很简单的 很简单的
No, no, no, it's cash, it's cash.
来吧 都动起来
Come on! Hustle the fuck on!
-快快快快快快快 -把东西放下 走
- Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! - Put that down, let's go.
-我们加入他们 -好
- Let's jump in. - Okay.
-你是做什么的 -我是创伤外科医师
- So what do you do? - I'm a trauma surgeon.
好厉害
Oh, wow! That's so cool!
你肯定见过很多疯狂的事
Bet you have, like, really crazy stories.
抱歉 我得专注于比赛
I'm sorry. I gotta focus on the game.
好
Okay.
-来了 -抢过来
- Here we are. - Pick it up.
抢球 这 丽莎 传给我 回传给我
Pick it up. Here, Liz, to me. Back to me.
医生进球了
Doctor in the house!
棒极了
All right!
-抱歉 她刚才 -该死
- Sorry. She just-- - God damn it!
她把我撞倒了 我都没...
She just knocked me down. I don't even--
不不 不不
No, no. No, no.
不是你的错 不是你的错 只是
It's not your fault, it's not your fault. Just...
你为什么要在比赛中
Why were you trying to
和她聊天...
have a conversation with her in the middle--
我们没事 没关系 接着踢 靠
You know what, we're cool. It's good. Here we go. Fuck!
妈的妈的妈的妈的
Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.
好样的
Alright!
律师上庭了 这是小木槌 我是律师
Lawyer in the court. This is the gavel, I am a lawyer.
手球 该P球了
Handball, that's a P-kick.
-等等 什么 什么是P球 -没错
- Wait, what? What's a P-kick? - Yeah.
点球 没关系 丽莎
Penalty kick. It's alright, Lisa,
-不是你的错 游戏规则而已 -我知道
- it's not your fault, it's just a game. - I know that.
冷静 操 该死的 开始吧
Cool, fuck. Shit. Here we go.
但球只碰到我身体 我没用手
But that was all body, I didn't touch it.
姐们 球碰到你手臂了
Bro. It hit your arm.
那就是手球
That's a handball.
手臂也连着身体 丽莎 有点费解
It's all connected, Lisa. It's kind of confusing.
-没关系 -球没碰到我的胳膊
- It's fine. - It didn't hit my arm.
你确定吗 你确定不是无意的吗
You sure? You sure it wasn't incidental?
我刚说了不是手球 你为什么不信我
I just said, it wasn't a handball, why don't you believe me?
因为看上去像手球
'Cause it kind of looked like a handball,
-而且我们想比赛公平公正 -是啊
- and we try to be our best selves here. - Yeah.
她把我推倒了
She knocked me down!
那会怎么没见你们有人提出异议啊
No one was trying to be their best self then!
宝贝 不如你去冷静下
Babe, why don't you calm down?
喝点水什么的 冷静下
Go get some water or something, cool off.
-没事的 -是啊
- It's gonna be fine. - Yeah.
是的 我得去冷静下
Yeah, I need to cool down.
非常的冷静
Get real cool.
-谢了 -不客气
- Thanks. - Yeah, you're welcome.
你在这干什么 宝贝
Hey there. What are you doing here, honey?
你父母去哪儿了
Oh, where are your parents, huh?
这是
Hello, is this--
这是谁家的孩子 一个
Is this anybody's baby, it's...
我觉得是个女孩
a girl I think.
我来帮你吧 我是个律师
I'll help you, I'm a lawyer.
我们看看这里有什么
Hey, let's see what's here.
我的天 你的孩子真漂亮 长得好像你
Oh, my God, your baby is so beautiful. She has your face.
-真的吗 -眼睛和鼻子 错不了
- She does? - The eyes and nose. It's uncanny.
想吃点东西吗 我们看看有什么吃的
Get something to eat? Let's see if there's some food.
看看看
Oh, look, look, look!
女士 女士 你抱着我们儿子干什么
Hey lady! Lady! What are you doing with our son?
我...
I--
我在外面看见他一个人站着
I just found him outside, just all alone.
他肯定又乱走了 你为什么不原地等着
He must have wandered. Why didn't you wait there?
他饿了 而且他怎么会一个人在外面
He was hungry. What was he doing outside all by himself?
-我不知道怎么会这样 -你在打电♥话♥
- I don't know how this happened. - You were on your phone!
谢谢 谢谢你照顾他
Thank you. Thank you for taking such good care of him.
没... 这是... 给你们...
It's all-- This is-- Here's--
谢谢
Thank you.
再次感谢你
Thank you again.
我不需向你解释
I don't owe you an explanation.
我的天 谢天谢地你来了
Oh, my God, thank God you came.
-气氛太诡异了 -是啊
- There's a weird energy here. - Yeah!
乔治诺 有三个人的位置吗
Hey, Giorgio, you have a table for three?
当然 德尔莫尼科太太
Of course, Mrs. Delmonico.
-马上为你们准备 -谢谢
- I'll have a table for you momentarily. - Thank you.
-你们好 -很高兴见到你
- Hi! - Hi, nice to see you.
我也是
Good to see you, too.
-怎么了 -你们
- What's up? - You guys--
萨姆 马克和我听说你跟乔恩分居了
Sam! Mark and I heard that you and Jon are splitting up.
如果有什么需要的 跟我们说
If there is anything that you need, we're here.
-谢谢 -来抱抱
- Thanks. - Come here.
-一切都会好的 -你可真贴心
- It's gonna be okay. - Aren't you sweet?
-谢谢 -不客气
- Thank you. - Of course.
-晚安 -谢谢
- Have a good night. - Thank you.
你的邻居这么支持你真是太好了
It's great you have so much support in the neighborhood.
你在跟我开玩笑吗
Are you fucking kidding me?
她在那看我笑话都看高♥潮♥了 去她的
She just had a fucking pity orgasm. Fuck her!
你刚见证了那女人这辈子最炫的时刻
You witnessed the best moment of that woman's life.
她正在脑海里侧空翻呢
She's doing cartwheels in her mind right now.
-操那臭婊♥子♥ -她看上去挺善良
- Fuck that bitch. - She seemed really nice.
成熟点吧 废柴
Grow up, you loser.
那女人就是个怪兽
That woman's a fucking monster.
她这种举动才让女人互相憎恨
That kind of behavior is why women hate other women.
说得好
Amen.
大伙 我不知道自己能不能继续待在这
Guys, I don't know if I can stay here.
我去哪里都会看到人们充满同情的表情
I can't go anywhere without people making sad faces at me.
真的是所有地方 健身房♥
It's like everywhere I go: the gym,
孩子的学校 干洗店
the kids' school, the dry cleaner--
看看你 看看你的脸
Look at you! Look at your face.
-你现在就是那副表情 -抱歉
- You are doing it right now. - I'm sorry.
真是太可悲了
It's just so sad.