大学同学（2017）

好了 这是所有你们需要签的东西
Okay, this is everything to sign,
在贴标签的地方签字 签完就结束了
wherever there's a tag, and we're done.
拜托 丽莎 别...
Oh, come on, Lisa. Don't--
你把标签撕了我怎么知道要在哪签字
How am I going to know where to sign?
你这样加大我签字的难度是在推迟离婚进程
You're delaying the divorce by making it harder for me to sign.
你明白这点的 对吗
You get that, right?
-这合法吗 -把标签撕掉吗
- Is this even legal? - To remove the tabs?
合法
Yeah.
你还好吧
Are you okay?
你不用再担心我了 你自♥由♥了
You don't have to worry about me anymore, you're free.
你可以继续过你的生活了
You can move on with your life.
我知道我已经这么做了
I know I am.
再见
Peace!
这对我来说很难受
Pretty devastating for me,
但我想对你来说只是又一个平常的周二
but I guess for you it's just another Tuesday.
我希望是周三
Oh, I wish it was Wednesday.
那就和周末更接近了
That much closer to the weekend.
大学同窗
第二季 第三集
你可以打我
Alright, you can hit me.
-你可以打我的 -不
- You know you can hit me. Oh! - No.
漂亮 正中蛋蛋
Yes! Right in the nuts!
违规了 擦着我的屌♥了
Below the belt! That grazed my dick a little bit.
我能打扰一下吗
Can I interrupt for a minute?
可以啊 如果是要说枕头大战的事
Oh, yeah, if this is about the pillows,
那都是他的主意
that was totally his idea.
不是
It wasn't.
-不是... -拜托 你说
- It wasn't-- - Come on. You were like,
"我们来场枕头大战吧"
"Let's do the pillow fight."
然后我说"不行 哥们 不要"
And I was like, "No, dude, don't."
你们这么精力旺盛当然很好
Of course it's wonderful to have this energy here.
我今晚要举办一个小型的晚宴
Listen, I'm hosting a small dinner party tonight
我叫了一些朋友 我想让你见见
and I have some friends that I would love you to meet.
但我知道我临时通知你 有点晚了
But I know it's last minute,
所以如果你不能来的话也没关系的
so I won't be offended if you can't make it.
我会来的
Yeah. I'll swing by.
太棒了 我... 我太开心了
Oh, wonderful. I'm, uh... I'm so pleased.
-七点可以吗 -可以
- 7:00? - Yeah.
-需要带点什么吗 -不用了 不需要
- You need me to bring anything? - Oh, no, it's not necessary.
有宴会承包商搞定
It's being catered.
-但你看吧 随你心意 -好的
- But if the spirit moves you. - Okay.
你的朋友们喜欢洋葱蘸酱吗
Are your friends into onion dip?
喜欢 其实他们更喜欢墨西哥辣椒
Yes. Actually they prefer jalapeo poppers.
好 好
Alright. Okay.
好 一言为定
Sure. Done and done.
你好啊 大男孩
Hiya, big boy.
查理
Charlie?
我的天 我真的很抱歉
Oh, God. I'm so sorry.
我只是想给你个惊喜
I was trying to surprise you.
你成功了 你穿风衣干什么
Mission accomplished. What's with the trench coat?
-该死 -这件旧衣服吗
- Oh, shit! - Oh, this old thing?
这是什么性感的惊喜吗
Was this gonna be a sexy surprise thing?
我总是有那样的幻想
I've always had that fantasy.
那你肯定要失望了
Then you were gonna be disappointed anyway.
惊不惊喜
Ta-da!
这是什么
What is this?
我想和你一起参加周末足球队
I wanna join you for weekend soccer.
但你总是拿这件事取笑我
But you always make fun of me
还有我的朋友 记得吗
and my friends for that shit, remember?
-"享受暂停" -我也想享受暂停
- "Enjoy your recess"? - I want to enjoy recess as well.
拜托 你不想我和你一起踢球吗
Come on. Don't you want me to play soccer with you?
你不是总叫我一起吗
You're always saying.
太棒了 我太高兴了 真的吗
Yes! I'm so pumped, really?
-真的 -太棒了
- Yeah! - Oh!
美丽的运动
Jogo bonito.
-什么意思 -美丽的运动 你试试
- What does that mean? - The beautiful game, try it.
-好 -美丽的运动
- Oh, okay. - Jogo bonito!
美丽的运动
Jogo bonito!
乔恩今天早上把孩子带走了
Jon took the kids this morning
跟他一起过他那半周
for his half of the week.
我第一次一个人在家 没有他们一起
And I'm going to be at home without them for the first time ever.
你对此感觉如何
How do you feel about that?
家里会变成鬼城的 我应该待在家吗
It's gonna be a ghost town I mean. Should I stay in?
如果我待在家 肯定很压抑
I mean, if I stay in, it's gonna be depressing.
我应该出去吗
Should I go out?
参加书友会
Crash a book club?
和伊桑开房♥
Book a hotel with Ethan?
那是你在考虑的要做的事吗
Is that something you've been considering?
什么 不 只是玩笑话而已
What? No! It was a joke.
你上博士上得幽默感都没了吗
Do they beat the sense of humor out of you in your PhD program?
我只是想搞明白今晚要做什么
I'm just trying to figure out what to do tonight.
你知道吗
Oh, you know what?
你可以告诉我 我今天要做什么
That's what you can tell me, is what to do tonight.
有没有可能你把你对于
Is it possible that you're transferring your anxiety
分居的焦虑转移到今晚的计划上了
about your separation onto your plans for this evening?
回答错误
Wrong answer.
待在家还是出去
In or out?
出去 待在家
Out. In.
出去 待在家 出去 待在家 出去
Out, in, out, in, out...
里面
In!
待在家里
Stay in.
就知道你会这么说
You would say that.
一个人走进心理治疗师的办公室
Guy walks into a therapist's office.
"我是帐篷还是棚屋
"Am I a teepee or a wigwam?
我是帐篷还是棚屋 我是帐篷还是棚屋
Am I a teepee or a wigwam? Am I a teepee, am I a wigwam?
我是帐篷还是棚屋"
Am I a teepee or a wigwam?"
治疗师说"你只是太紧张了"
Therapist says, "You're too tense."
什么
What?
因为之前你说我没有幽默感
Well, just earlier you had said I didn't have a sense of humor.
我很喜欢笑话 讲笑话也是一种治疗手段
I love jokes. I mean, jokes can be a kind of therapy.
我只是不怎么使用 但是
I just don't often bring them into my practice, but...
我真的
I really...
相信笑话是能够...
believe in their power...
治愈的
to heal.
玛丽安娜 你今晚有什么打算
Hey, Marianne. What are you up to tonight?
麦克斯 我说不好 麦克斯 我说不好
Max. I don't know Max. I don't know.
感觉... 有点年轻了
It feels... kinda young.
你说要年轻时髦的 所以我们才来这家店的
You said young and hip. That's why we came to this store.
-等等 这样很酷吗 -这叫快时尚
- So, wait a second. This is cool? - Yeah, it's fast fashion.
你一直穿着它 穿到过时
You just wear it for as long as it's cool,
然后就把它扔了 想干嘛就干嘛
and then you throw it away and you destroy the Earth.
-这裤子是短裤吗 -那是短裤还是长裤
- Are the pants shorts? - Are they shorts or pants?
-我能... -你知道这些孩子多年轻吗
- Can I-- Excuse me. - You know how young these kids are?
-灰头发很时髦 -我喜欢这件毛衣
- Gray hair is cool. - You know, I like this sweater.
我喜欢这件 不过好紧
You know, I like this-- It's so tight though.
你看起来就像一个法国水手
You look like a French sailor.
麦克斯 我真觉得现在开始约会太早了一点
You know, Max, it feels really soon for me to be dating again.
我才刚刚签完离婚协议书
I literally just signed my divorce papers.
你都自责了一年了
After beating yourself up for like a year.
要不这样 你就不要把这当做是约会
If it helps, don't think about it as a date.
-好吗 -很好 因为我不能
- Okay? - Yeah, that's good, because I can't.
我不能把这当做约会 这想法太吓人了
I can't think about it as a date, it terrifies me.
好吧 那就这么想
Alright, think about it,
我们要和我一个客户共进晚餐
we're going out to dinner with one of my clients.
约会太累了 麦克斯
It's just so exhausting, Max.
又要把那些故事再讲一遍
To tell all of your old stories again
还是讲给一个陌生人听
to a complete stranger.
死人的鞋子 现在谁还想听死人鞋子的故事
Dead man's shoes? Who wants to hear dead man's shoes again?
我就想听死人鞋子的故事 我可喜欢了
I wanna hear dead man's shoes. I love that story.
听一千遍都不会厌 这是你最好的故事之一
Could hear that a thousand times, it's one of your best.
不 不不不不不
No, no, no, no, no, no.