伦敦生活（2016）

流产的是我
It was my miscarriage.
啥
What?
是他妈的我流产了
It was my fucking miscarriage.
是吧 我就知道你们觉得很搞笑
Yes, I thought you'd find that funny.
真有意思
How interesting.
她只是在帮我打掩护
She was just covering for me.
你怀孕了
What, we were pregnant?
- 是的 怀了几周 - 孩子是我的吗
- For a few weeks, yes. - It was my baby?
打断一下 流产的不是你
Sorry, so you haven't had a miscarriage?
不是我 抱歉
No, sorry.
这他妈究竟是怎么一回事
Wait, what the fuck is going on here?!
孩子是我的
I...It was, it was my baby?
应该是你的孩子
I guess it was your baby's way of saying
不想要你当他爹吧
it didn't want you as it's father.
就像金鱼不想待在鱼缸里
Like a goldfish out of the bowl sort of thing.
抱歉 不管是谁流产了
Sorry, but whoever had a miscarriage,
请去厨房♥讨论
could you take it to the kitchen, please?
不行 别跟着我 杰克
No! Don't follow me, Jake.
还有 我俩到此结束
Oh, and this is over.
你走吧
You're leaving me.
- 冷静 - 现在就走
- No, no, no. - Yes!
你喝醉了吗
Are you drunk?
- 是又怎样 - 你清醒吗
- Yes. - Are you sober?
还行 你能不能滚远点
A bit. Could you just fuck off?
- 没门 - 不 我就待在这儿
- Oh, absolutely not! - Okay, no, no. I'm staying right here.
我们离婚吧
I want you to leave me.
听我说 我只是...
Listen to me, I just, I have...
又要发表长篇大论
I think he has a little speech.
我确实有很多话想说
...I have a little speech that's building here.
我明白你的小心思
Now, I know you look at
你觉得我只是一个胡子拉碴的混♥蛋♥罢了
me and you see a bad man with a big beard.
你嗜酒如命 还跟我妹妹眉来眼去
You are an alcoholic and you tried it on with my sister.
没错
Fine.
她生日那天 我是想亲她来着
I tried to kiss your sister on her birthday.
是我的生日
My birthday!
行 我搞混了 我也的确嗜酒如命
Fine! I mix up birthdays and I have an alcohol problem,
在这个操蛋的国家 谁又没有借酒浇愁呢
just like everyone else in this fucking country.
但我对你不离不弃 默默付出
But I am here and I do things.
我天天接送杰克 做复活节甜点
I pick up Jake up from shit, I make dessert for Easter,
打扫楼下的厕所 炒了那个聒噪的清洁工
I organise the downstairs toilet, I fired the humming cleaner.
你不也享受其中
You enjoyed that.
我还把车洗得干干净净
I hoover the car.
我把你的奖状都挂了起来
I put up all your certificates
你不跟我做♥爱♥ 我也不怪你
and I don't make you feel guilty for not having sex with me.
我不是混♥蛋♥
I am not a bad guy!
我就是性格不好 但这不是我的错
I just have a bad personality, it's not my fault.
有的人天生性格就不好
Some people are born with fucked personalities.
杰克不就是
Look at Jake.
他怪里怪气的 但又不是他的错
He is so creepy, it's not his fault!
为什么要安排大管演奏
Why the bassoon!?
你知道大管意味着什么吗
You want to know what the bassoon is!?
救救我
It's a cry for help!
最大的问题是 你♥他♥妈♥根本就不喜欢我
The main fucking problem here is that you don't like me.
十一年来 我都为此心碎不已
And that has been breaking my fucking heart for 11 years.
我爱你
I love you.
我逗你开心
I make you laugh.
我很蠢 但我能逗你开心
I'm a douche, but I make you laugh.
你说过这才是最重要的
You said that that was the most important thing!
我觉得你最讨厌自己的地方
I think the thing that you hate the most about yourself
是你其实也爱我
is that you actually love me.
所以 除非你跪下来求我
So, I am not going to leave you,
否则我是不会离开你的
until you are down on your knees begging me.
求求你 离开我吧
Please, leave me.
天呐
Oh, man.
没想到你真忍♥心下跪
I didn't think you'd do that in that dress.
行吧
Right. Well...
那我也只能送你一句
I guess the only thing left for me to say is...
操♥你♥妈♥
Fuck you.
操♥你♥妈♥
Fuck you.
你对他做了什么
What have you done with him?
- 谁 - 你♥爸♥
- Who? - Your father.
婚礼马上开始了 怎么都找不到他
The wedding is about the start and no-one can find him anywhere.
想想办法
Can you do something?
拜托
Please.
拜托
Please.
求你了
Please!
- 我去花♥园♥ - 你去楼上
- Garden. - Upstairs.
爸
Dad?
爸
Dad.
我出不去了
I can't get out.
你可以的 爸
Okay, Dad, you can.
不行 这是个陷阱
I can't! It's a trap.
我卡住了
I'm stuck.
- 不是的 爸 - 我无能为力
- No, Dad... - I just, there's nothing I can do.
大家都会理解的
...everyone will understand.
给他们每人一瓶酒带回家就行
Just give them all a bottle to take home.
说实话 他们能理解
Honestly, they, they'll be relieved.
我是说我的脚 卡住了
My foot... is stuck.
"大家都会理解的"什么意思
Everyone will understand?
帮帮忙
W-Will you help me, please?
- 怎么卡住的 - 帮我弄出来就行
- How is it stuck...? - J-Just help me get it out.
我简直惹祸上身
I'm gonna be in so much trouble.
你在这上面做什么
What are you doing up here?
我突然记起几周前
I... I just remembered that I'd left a...
在这里放了一个捕鼠器
a friendly mouse trap up here a few weeks ago
但我当时没检查好不好使
and I hadn't checked it.
所以我过来确认一下
And I just wanted to make
它有没有夹到老鼠
sure that one little chap hadn't got, uh,
看看老鼠被夹死没有
trapped in it and was, uh, was suffocating up here.
我知道该怎么弄
I think I've worked out what we need to do.
那赶紧的吧
Let's... Let's do it.
快点
Do it.
亲爱的
Darling.
只要你跟我说实话 我就帮你
I'll do it if you tell me why you're up here.
我只想听句实话
Just one honest answer.
我 啥意思 我没撒谎
I... What, what? I, I don't think...
一句完整的话
One full sentence.
我来检查捕鼠器
I was checking on the mouse.
爸
Dad?
你想逃婚的话 可以用咱妈的礼裙把你裹起来
Do you want to make a run for it? I can smuggle you out in one of mum's dresses.
我承认你有这个胆量
You would, as well.
我知道 她不是一个
Look, I-I know she's not...
人见人爱的女人
...everyone's cup of tea.
你也不是啊 亲爱的
And neither are you, darling.
我是说 我爱你
I mean, I'm sorry, I love you,
但我不确定
but I'm not sure that I like you...
我一直喜欢你
All the time.
对不起
Sorry.
我再奇葩 也是你亲生的
Hey, you created this monster.
你的性格脾性 不是来自我
You're not the way you are because of me.
我知道
I know.
是你妈妈把你塑造成了这样
You're the way you are because of her.
你千万不要丢掉它们
And it's those bits that you need to cling to.
好了 现在能把我的鞋弄出来了吗
Right, can you get my shoe out?
我只想让你们为我骄傲
I just want you all to be proud of me.
爸 我们为你骄傲
We are proud of you, Dad.
你有两个爱你的女儿
You have two daughters who love you,
虽然你不喜欢她们
even if you don't like them.
我喜欢克莱尔啊
I like Claire.
够了 爸
Jesus, Dad!