伦敦生活（2016）

该死 我湿了
Oh, God, I fancy a priest.
天主教 神父 性♥爱♥
禁欲的定义
神父做♥爱♥会怎样
给
There you go.
店里有什么活动吗
Are you having an event?
没有
No.
为什么这么多人
Why are there so many people here?
生意好 没办法
Well, it's just successful, I guess.
怎么每个人都在聊天
Why is everyone talking to each other?
今天是唠嗑星期三
Oh, it's Chatty Wednesday.
凡是在这儿消费
If you buy something, you have to have a chat
- 都必须和陌生人聊天 - 什么
- with someone you don't know. - What?
为孤独买♥♥单
Loneliness pays.
能聊聊...
Listen, can we...
没问题
Sure.
我知道我们好久没有...
I know you and I haven't...
你去做检查了吗
Have you had a check-up?
做了 没什么大问题
Yes, it's fine. It's really not a big deal.
- 常有的事... - 你好
- It happens all the time... - Hello!
- 别 - 你是哪儿的人
- No. - Where you from?
我不是... 我没有参与你们的聊天活动
I'm not... This isn't... I'm not part of this.
我用不着... 我不想告诉你
I shouldn't have to... I don't want to tell you that.
不好意思
No. Sorry. No.
图庭
Tooting.
她什么也没点 乔
She hasn't bought anything yet, Joe.
我去 对不住了大妹子
Oh, shit. I'm so sorry.
马丁知道吗
Does Martin know?
未满三个月不能告诉任何人...
You're not supposed to tell anyone for the first 12...
- 告诉当爸的总行吧 - 我没告诉他
- Well, you can tell the father. - I just haven't told him.
那他知道什么
Okay, but what does he know?
别问了 行吗
I don't want to talk about it, okay?
我不想让任何人知道
And I never want anyone to know about it.
你来搞定
You have it.
你更擅长处理糟心事
You're better at dealing with awful things anyway.
- 我也不想啊 - 你认下了
- I don't want it. - Well, you took it,
所有人都认为是你 所以你来搞定
now everyone thinks you have it, so you have it.
你瞅啥
What?
鞋还挺时髦
They're some pretty funky trainers.
我说了我没事
I said I'm fine.
我只是不想让大家
I just really, really don't want anyone to make
在这件事上小题大做 知道吗
a big deal out of this, okay?
残忍♥ 太残忍♥了
Brutal. Just brutal.
你受苦了
You must feel rotten.
是不是感觉糟透了
Do you feel rotten?
我不想聊这事
I'd rather not talk about it if that's okay.
听你的 亲爱的 进来吧
Of course, darling. Come on up.
拜托 克莱尔 把门关上
Claire get the door, for God's sake.
你知道孩子他爸是谁吗
Did you know who the father was?
我现在真心不想讨论这个问题
Um, you know, I'd rather not talk about it if that's okay.
没关系 亲爱的
No, of course, darling.
我已经准备好了 迫不及待
I've got a set up I'm very excited about.
- 一定很惊艳 - 酷
- It's going to be very striking. - Cool.
克莱尔 你坐在这里
So, Claire, if you just sit here.
很好
That's lovely
亲爱的 你坐在她旁边
And, darling, just beside her like that.
就这样
Lovely.
身子侧过来一点...
Actually, if you could just...
对 好了
That's it, that's it.
再侧一点
Just a bit.
再来一点
Bit more.
好了 完美
There, perfect.
漂亮 就这样
Gorgeous, yes.
抱歉 你得转过去...
Sorry, no, if you could just...
对了 谢谢宝贝
That's it. Thank you, darling.
- 所以... - 她忍♥不住的
- So, um... - She can't not talk about it.
- 我有六个朋友... - 撒谎
- You know, I have six friends... - A lie.
都流过产
who've had miscarriages.
五个后来再也没有怀过
Five of them never managed to produce a child afterwards,
剩下那个是例外 但非常后悔
but the sixth one did and rather regretted it,
所以也许不是件坏事
so I think you've probably done the right thing.
谢谢
Thank you.
你没想过要小孩吗
Did you never want them?
我还在考虑
Oh, I'm still thinking about it.
我爸在吗 我给他发了短♥信♥ 但...
Is Dad here? I texted him, but...
- 我看到了 - 所以他在家
- Oh, I saw that. - Oh, so he is here?
不在 我在用他的手♥机♥
Sorry, no, I've got his phone today.
我喜欢那个颜色
I love that colour.
哪个
Which one?
- 那个 - 那是三种颜色
- That one. - Oh, that's three colours.
你提醒了我 得把它处理掉
Right. I'm getting rid of it.
画那幅画还挺刺♥激♥的
But it was quite an adventure painting.
完成的时候我都高♥潮♥了
I had an orgasm as I finished it.
希望我们都能从中获得这样的乐趣
Well, let's hope we all get as much pleasure out of this one.
别转过来
No, no. Could you...?
我下午非常忙 所以...
Um, I have a pretty full afternoon, so...
你还要回芬兰吗
Oh, have you got to go back to Finland again?
不了 那边的人会过来
No, Finland are coming here.
那你就轻松多了
Oh. Well, that's easier for you.
你方便去取请柬吗
Are you still okay to pick up the invitations?
可以 没问题
Oh, yes, of course.
挑好束花的丝带了吗
And did you find that ribbon thing for the flowers?
- 挑好了 - 很好
- Yes. - Great.
马丁的鼻子好些了吗
And is Martin's nose on the mend?
好些了
Yes.
巴松管独奏安排上了吗
And how's the bassoon solo coming on?
还在练习
Oh, yes, he's practising.
- 老天 我还要... - 干嘛
- Oh, God, and now I just have to... - What?
克莱尔 麻烦把头抬高一点
Sorry, Claire, can you look up, please?
谢谢
Thank you.
为颁奖典礼准备点心
Organise canapes for an awards ceremony.
天呐 你肯定累坏了
Oh, gosh, you must be exhausted.
小咖啡馆能做点心吗
Does the little cafe do canapes?
当然可以
It totally could, yeah.
好了 这不就解决了
Well, there you are. That's one off the list.
太好了
Great.
老天 你脖子真是粗得可爱
Gosh, haven't you got a lovely, thick neck?
- 很有趣 - 谢了
- That was fun. - Thank you.
点心的事包在我身上
I really can help with the canapes if it's...
- 我长话短说 听好 - 好的
- I'm going to say this quickly. Okay? - Okay.
马丁准备告你袭击罪
Martin wants to press charges against you for assault.
我曾尽力说服他 但坦白说 你确实把他
I've tried to talk him down, but to be fair, you did hit him
- 打得很惨 - 什么
- fucking hard. - What?!
我会给你找最好的律师
I will provide you with exceptional legal advice as long as
只要你能在这件事上
you don't tell anyone I'm
为我保密
providing you with exceptional legal advice.
- 搞毛 - 木已成舟
- What?! - This is happening.
我也很尴尬 但木已成舟
I am mortified, but it is happening, okay?
我会雇律师把他吓撤诉
I will hire this lawyer to scare him off
我也会雇你准备点心
and I will hire you to do the canapes.
- 律师是谁 - 一个朋友
- Who's the lawyer? - Oh, he's a friend.
他主要为强♥奸♥犯辩护
He mainly defends rapists.
他成功率很高喽
He has a high success rate then.
战无不胜 走吧
Undefeated. Come on.
我跟他说了一些基本情况
I've filled him in with the basics.
- 说没说你老公是个禽兽 - 严肃点
- That your husband's an animal? - Be serious.
他说什么就照做 别勾引他
Just do whatever he says and don't flirt with him.
我才不会勾...
I'm not going to f...
干 好吧
Fucking hell, okay.
- 克莱尔 - 大卫 非常感谢
- Claire! - David, thank you so much...
抱歉
Oh! Sorry.
小心我告你哦