良师难为（2024）

超棒的 -他们俩个逗笑彼此的方式 -我知道
The way they're making each other laugh. - I know.
叫什么来着？叫什么... -公路变♥态♥杀人魔
What's it called? - The Highway Killer.
好，等一下... 好，我来听一下，来听听看，第302集
Okay, wait-- Yeah, I'll give it a go. Why not? 302 episodes.
对了，练习传球路径
By the way, routes.
对，练习传球路径，各位
来吧 -开始了
Oh, yeah. Run routes, guys. Get it.
我要求你别插手
I asked you not to get involved.
葛兰，如果你要教人♥弹♥钢琴
Grant, if you're teaching somebody to play piano,
你会请谁来教学？当然是钢琴老师啊
who do you get to help them?
所以说，如果要教男生怎么打扮成女生
A piano teacher.
艾文，我已经接到不少通家长的电♥话♥了
If you're teaching guys to dress up like girls--
我不知道你找来的这个人是谁
I'm getting calls from the parents. I don't know who this person is.
她可能是变♥态♥，可能是罪犯
She could be a lunatic. She could be a criminal.
只因她是一位变装皇后，所以就成了变♥态♥跟罪犯？
Because she happens to be a drag queen, she's a lunatic and a criminal?
你知道自己在说什么吗？ 我不是那个意思
Are you hearing yourself? - That's not what I mean.
你不能随便带陌生人进学校 -你不能这样
You can't bring in strangers to teach at the school. You can't do that.
葛兰，我可是很努力 满足多元性别联盟的需求耶
I was trying to satisfy the LGBTQIA2S+ Alliance.
为什么？为什么要屈服于这四个死GAY，小鬼的突发奇想？
Why? Why succumb to the whims of these four gay kids?
当我没说过... -里面至少有八位，好吗？
I never said that. - There's at least eight of them, right?
艾文，那些抱怨你听听就算了
You just listen to them complain.
你其实可以不用管他们
You don't have to do anything about their problems.
我原本以为他们担心的事是有道理的
I thought their concerns were valid.
有道理？这才叫有道理
Valid? Here's what's valid.
这些球员的家长们会出席
Those football players' parents are gonna be there.
布恩督学也会出席
Superintendent Boone will be there.
而这个，这个才是他们想看到的
And this is what they're expecting to see.
这啥？-我也一起看，好吧？
What is this? - I'll read along, all right?
“参加粉扑球赛中场表演时
"Appropriate and approved attire
已批准穿着的服装包括
for the Powderpuff halftime performance:
发圈、脸部亮粉、指甲油
hair ties, face glitter, nail polish...
指甲油 -以及啦啦队服装“
Polish....cheerleading outfits."
这太扯了吧
This is ridiculous.
人家要的就是卖♥♥萌跟好玩 大家可以玩得很开心，然后我们也能很开心
It needs to be cute. It needs to be fun. Everybody's gonna be happy.
没人会被炒鱿鱼，想想你的饭碗，艾文
We're gonna have a great time. No one gets fired.
想想你的饭碗
Think of your job, Evan. Think of your job.
各位，你们身上带着这些旗帜
So, ladies, you got these flags.
如果有人要抢你的腰旗 我想到时候你们会需要这样
If someone's trying to get your flag, I'm thinking it's a lot of this.
重点在于扭臀，试试看 如果有人想要扯你的旗子，你就扭臀...
It's in the hips. Try it. If someone's trying to get you
好...停，你们都先停下来
and you're juking-- - Stop. Stop what you're doing. Stop.
停！我听了那个你推荐的播客，听了八集
I listened to, like, eight episodes of that podcast you told me about,
我不在乎你们要采取什么战术
and I couldn't care less about y'all running plays,
什么外接路线、内接路线、短柱传球
running out routes, in routes, posts.
我在乎的是你们
I care more about you not ending up
不会变成某人冰箱里的一块肉
in tiny little pieces in someone's freezer.
足球赛的事就别管了，我们先教这些女孩们怎么自卫
We need to forget about football and teach these girls self-defense.
哇，马奇 -看来我变成女权主义者了
Wow, Markie. - Yeah. Looks like I'm a feminist now.
你是女权主义者？
You're a feminist?
我的意思是，只有涉及女性暴♥力♥时
Only when it comes to female violence.
我对同工同酬这件事的看法仍然没变
I still feel the same way about equal pay.
有些人很努力工作啊
Some people just work harder.
我是说，举例女性谁当CEO了？
I mean, show me a woman who's a CEO.
伊丽莎白荷姆斯
Elizabeth Holmes.
好吧，我们现在来学习初阶女性防身术
Okay, we are doing female self-defense 101, right now.
我只想打足球而已
I just want to play football.
那你可以走了 - 滚
Then you can leave. - Fuck out of here.
男士们，我不想打断你们，有个坏消息
Guys, I hate to break it to you. We got some bad news.
学校董事会发了一封电邮
I got this email from the school board.
上面列出一堆男生在粉扑活动中的
This is a list of things that have been approved
已获得批准的表演项目
for the boys' Powderpuff performance.
不用说 我们现在在这练习的东西，全不在批准清单内
Needless to say, the things we've been doing in here are not on this list,
他们要把夏珊踢走 -什么？
and they wanna kick Shazam out. - What?
先是我妹的婴儿受洗仪式，现在是这个
First my sister's baby shower, now this.
你们要我念整个清单吗？
You guys want me to read this list?
不要 -免了...不必
Hell no. - No. Nah.
好吧，那我就...
Okay. Why don't I just...
去它的！-谁说了算？-我们说了算
Whose house? - Our house!
谁说了算？-我们说了算
Whose house? - Our house!
我们才说了算！
It's our house!
你如果把脚伸直，会比较容易穿进去
These will fit better if you really just, like, stretch it.
好，然后这个，完美
Love. And then this. There we go.
耶 -这其实是个胸罩
Yeah! - It's actually a bra,
不过我在搭经济舱时会把它当眼罩用
but I wear mine as a sleep mask when I fly coach.
好的，希尔里奇教练，晚上你独自一人走向你的车子
Okay, Coach Hillridge, you're walking to your car alone at night.
你的车钥匙放在哪？-前方口袋
Where are your keys? - Front pocket.
错，攻击者一掌下去，砰！你就挂了
Wrong. Attacker, boom, you're dead.
拿起你的钥匙，然后把钥匙，一个个放在指缝，像金钢狼那样
Take your keys, put 'em right between your fingers like Wolverine.
这一招绝对让对方哀哀叫
It's gonna get him good.
你身边都是些什么女孩？你没看过胸罩吗？
What kind of girls you run with that you've never seen a bra?
踏并...
Step together, step together, step together.
加油，男孩们，再来点搔首弄姿，少点做作
Come on, boys. A little more sashay, a little less shantay.
你有看到她的动作吗？
她刚这样...懂我意思吗？
Do you see the way she just did this? She was like... You know what I mean?
那就是我们说的什么？摆烂，那就是摆烂
That is, what do we call it? Marking it. She was marking it.
马奇，你是一位单身大美女，你发现车上有一张纸
You're a beautiful single female. There's a note on your car.
可能是停车缴费单，我们来看看是什么
Probably from an admirer. Let's see what it's about.
分心就代表死，你被杀死了
Distraction means death. You're done.
摇咧...
Sway. Sway.
你愿意嫁给我吗？
Will you marry me?
我愿意
Yes, of course.
你死了
Boom, you're dead.
凶手往往会是你的枕边人
Your husband's the most likely person to kill you.
大家把手伸出来
Let me see the hands like this.
看到奶头的话，你就失去资格了
We saw a nipple. Now we've been disqualified.
凶手死了
Killer's dead. - Check the pulse.
先检查心跳 -他在耍诈，你中计被杀了
He tricked you, now you're dead.
好，你可以试试这样做吗？
很好
Okay. Can I see you try that? Yes.
碰，你死了，你家人也一样
You're dead so is your family.
碰！你死了...
Boom. You're dead. Boom! You're dead.
艾文，我认为他们准备好了
Evan, I think they're ready.
马奇，说真的你今天真的是帮大忙了
Markie, seriously, you've done such a good job today.
我真的以你为荣 -我都有在注意的
I'm so proud of you. - My eyes are open.
我也学到了很多 -谢谢你
I've learned a lot, you know. - Thank you.
没问题 -抱一下，我的好兄弟
Hey. - Give me a little hug.- My buddy. - Indeed.
氯仿，碰！他死了
Chloroform. Boom, he's dead.
好了，大家都排成一排
Okay, then you all get in a line and then I come out,
然后我出场，接着给观众来个
and then I hit the audience
超猛的“死亡下腰”，对吧？
with a huge death drop, right?
所以是，先伸出左脚，然后右脚，之后...“倒”
So, it's like left leg out, right leg back, bam!
我不知道，我觉得最好是
I don't know. I think it might be better
让孩子们表演变装秀就好
to just leave the drag performing to the kids.
不行，马可仕老师
No, Mr. Marquez.
我们希望夏珊能跟我们演完全场
We want Shazam until the very end.
她教了我们很多
She steps our pussy up.
好吧
你们想让夏珊表演“死亡下腰”
Okay. If you guys want Shazam to do a death drop,
夏珊可以在最后，表演“死亡下腰”
Shazam can do a death drop at the end of the performance.
布兰登，你要带领我们喊口号♥吗？
Brayden, you wanna count us out?
“全力以赴”，大家预备...一、二、三
Full-out on three. One, two, three!
全力以赴 -全力以赴
Full-out! - Full-out!
走吧，妹子们
Let's go, bitches.
明天同一时间别忘了，各位
Uh, same time tomorrow, guys.
加油
Good hustle.
我觉得我们正在做一件好事呢
I think we're doing a really good thing here.
我也这么觉得 -这是你的手♥机♥充电器吗？
Me too. - Is this your iPhone charger?
不是，不是我的
No, I don't think so. - Okay.
我要去洗手间了
Well, I'm gonna go to the bathroom, because I need to untuck.
我要把装备给卸下来，痛死我了
Mama is in pain.
好吧，那你慢慢弄
Okay. Take all the time you need.
如果你看到一个秃头男 表情充满杀气的话，那是校长
If you see a bald guy who looks like he's gonna kill himself, that's the principal.
记得绕开他
Just walk the other way.
凯斯，你的包包忘了拿了
Keith, you left your duffel bag.