良师难为（2024）

好，所以说，枪的事，取消，懂吗？
All right. Anyway, gun thing is canceled, okay?
不过，根据地方法，这要感谢艾文了
However, per the district's instructions, thanks to Evan here...
好耶！艾文好棒棒
Whoo-hoo! Evan's our guy.
我们现在将开始为所有教职员工，进行枪♥械♥训练
...we will now begin immediate firearm training for all faculty.
什么？-抱歉，什么？
What? -Sorry, what?
算了，太烂了
Never mind. That's bad.
现在每间教室都要配置一把枪，锁在一个枪盒里
Each classroom will now have a gun in a lockbox
以在遇到威胁时使用 好的
to be accessed in case of a threat. -Okay.
我想选择不参与这个选项
I'd like to opt out of that option.
抱歉了，枪♥械♥训练明天开始，由马奇负责
Too bad. Firearm training starts tomorrow, and Markie will lead it.
好人会保你们一生长命的
Oh. You're all in good hands.
好吧，这样吧...-我有话要说
Okay, you know what? You know what? I have something to say.
这不算长篇大论吗？
Is this not a speech?
我认为这并非全是坏事，即使我们
I don't think this is all bad,even though,
都要学习如何使用枪♥支♥
you know, we all have to learn how to use guns now,
因为孩子们不会有枪了
because the kids no longer have guns.
这对我来说才是重点
And that is really what this was all about to me,
而我相信这对诸位老师也是如此
and it should have been about that to you all too.
所以，目标已达成
So, a success was achieved.
这个屌♥ -赞哦，兄弟
Legendary. -Nice one, buddy.
最后但同样重要的是，自♥由♥写作现在将被禁止
And last but not least, free-writing assignments will now be banned.
好耶 -天哪
Yes. -That's terrible.
考虑到这一切的结果
That is good, actually, with how this all shook out.
可以接受啦
Yeah, exactly.
嘿，杰夫，嘿 -什么事，桑德斯老师？
Hey, Jeff. Hey. -What's up, Ms. Sanders?
你喜欢做清单，对吧？
So you like making lists, huh?
你怎么知道是我？
How do you know about that?
我当然知道，因为我已经搞了一个星期了
I know about it 'cause I've been working on this all week.
而刚刚贝卡，才告诉我原来是你搞的
And Becca literally just told me that it's you.
靠 -听着，杰夫...
Damn. -Listen, Jeff...
我...我只想知道一件事，为什么我的排名会垫底？
I just... I... I just wanna know, like, why am I low on the list?
我很好奇，虽然不介意，但...我就是好奇想知道
Just out of curiosity. I don't actually care. I just... I'm curious.
你想知道真♥相♥吗？-想，当然想啊
And you want the truth?Yeah, of course. Yes.
自从我发现那清单会影响你的穿着后
Ever since I saw the list was affecting how you dress,
我就开始操控你了
I started manipulating you.
很恶耶，干嘛酱？
Sick. What?
怎么了？不是啦，我希望你变得很会打扮啊
What? No. No, like, I want you to dress well. Elegant.
知性美，你是个34岁的轻熟♥女♥耶 -是32
You're a 34-year-old woman. -32.
你还有将近一半的人生要过呢
Still have nearly half your life ahead.
你是觉得我能活到60吗？
You think I'm gonna live to 60?
你不用每次都穿得那么土
You don't have to wear plain dresses
只因为你工作辛苦
just because you have a tough job
男友在吃土 -你说什么？
and your boyfriend's going insane. -What?
瞧，我帮你搭配了一些造型
Look, I actually put together some looks for you.
你帮我配了一些造型？
You put together some looks?
噢...哇哦...看看你挑了什么造型
Oh, wow. It's... Okay.
What do you got here?
我喜欢那件西装外套，好看
I like that blazer. That's good.
那个腰带我也爱，高腰的，够辣
I like that belt too, that high. That's good.
天哪，这鞋子也很可以，那楔形鞋跟很可爱
God, I like these shoes though. It's cute with the... with the wedge.
这些都是朱塞佩萨诺第的设计 -朱塞佩萨诺第？
Those are Giuseppe Zanotti.Sus-eppe Zan-oni?
不，够了，好吗？
No, stop. Okay.
把这些寄给我，但认真的说，你这样不可以，杰夫
Email this to me. But seriously,
你知道吗？我要罚你留校察看
this is wrong, Jeff. You know what? I'm gonna give you detention.
因为你不该操控老师才对 你不应该物化老师
You shouldn't be manipulating teachers. You shouldn't be objectifying teachers.
好的，我只是说你穿青绿色很好看
Okay, I'm just saying, you look good in teal.
闭嘴
Shut up.
不过...还是谢谢
But thank you.
你是怎样，马可仕老师？
What the fuck, Mr. Marquez?
噢...帕布罗，我...
Oh, Pablo, hey.
这一切我感到非常抱歉
I... I'm so sorry about all of this.
但是那篇文章的内容，真的相当暴♥力♥
But that was really a particularly violent essay.
暴♥力♥又怎样？这都是受到谋杀案的启发啊
What's wrong with violent? I was inspired by the concept of murder.
你什么？
You were what?
我是受到谋杀案的启发
I was inspired by the concept of murder.
好，听着...我是说，这没有关系
Well, look, I mean, it's all gonna be fine.
你还未成年 这不会成为永久记录
You're under 18. This is not gonna go on your permanent record.
我还特别在你的学籍档案里，特别写了张信
And I even wrote a letter for your file
说我全权为这个作业负责，所以你没事的
taking full responsibility for the assignment. You'll be fine.
现在我必须一个礼拜，看三次心理咨♥询♥了
Now I have to go to therapy three times a week.
是啊，不少人花大钱去看心理咨♥询♥，对吧？
Yeah. I mean, people pay a lot of money for therapy, right?
而你是免费的
You're getting it for free.
我现在知道该跟谁谈，我的侵入性想法了
I guess now I know who to talk to about my intrusive thoughts.
你有什么侵入性想法啊？
What intrusive thoughts do you have?
不过就是想买♥♥新车而已
Just stuff about buying a new car.
好，可以
Right. Exactly.
这种状况是双赢，对吧？
So we can call it a win-win, right? Okay.
好吧 -一切都搞定了
I guess we're cool.
别让我把你列入我的黑名单哦
Don't get on my list though.
我真不感相信，我们居然在接受，枪♥械♥训练
No, I can't believe we have to get firearms training now.
马奇一定会对我们开枪的
Markie's gonna fucking shoot us.
没事的，我们会一起渡过这难关的
It's fine. We'll just get through it.
你会这么说都是因为你害的
You're just saying that 'cause it's your fault.
我只是想做对的事
I was trying to do something good.
如果我们每天都卷入枪战，你说怎么办？
What if we all get into gunfights, like, every day now?
是啊，那会很惨
Yeah, that would suck.
至少我们可以一起出来，接近大自然呀
Well, at least we get to be outside, and we're together.
你看，这身套装就很正 -我知道
See, this outfit is working.
I know.
好的，比持枪坏蛋更强的是什么？
All right.The only thing stronger than a bad guy with a gun is?
持枪的女孩
A girl with a gun.
持枪的好人 -你是哪种人？
A good guy with a gun.Which one are you?
听我说，艾文，我都懂
Listen, Evan. I know, man.
我知道你对我不爽，我知道你觉得你赢了
I know you're pissed at me. I know you think you won something.
我本来赢了，好吗？
I did win, okay?
用我自己的方式...不...，我并没有终结枪♥支♥暴♥力♥
In my own way, because no, I didn't end gun violence,
但至少我禁止让孩子们碰枪了，这样是正确的，马奇
but I got some guns out of some kids' hands.And that is good, Markie.
我让世界变得更好了 -我才不管你对我有多不满
I made the world a better place.I don't care how much shit you give me.
我们是同一国的，好吗，兄弟？
We're on the same side.Okay, buddy?
说真的，我们是好人啊，兄弟
Seriously, we're the good guys here, man.
你想想嘛
Think about it like this.
你一直努力想当人上人
You've worked your whole life to become a power bottom,
而现在你成了握着枪的人上人
now you get to be a power bottom with a gun.
这一整个星期下来，你觉得我是上人？
You think I'm a bottom after this whole week?
真的还假的？-他只有被人上过一次
Honestly? -He's only bottomed, like, once.
可不可以开始练习了，拜托？艾文，你...
Can we please shoot, please? Evan, can you... Markie, please?
马奇，拜托？-来吧
Here we go. This is what we're here for.
这就是我们来这里的目的，瞄准
Aim. -Markie.
马奇，我不需要你的指导 -什么？
What? -I don't need your advice.
我知道你需要我的指导 -请后退
I know you need my advice. This has... -Please back up.
兄弟 -目标是笔直的
This is very straightforward. -Buddy. It's not.
那不是笔直的 -那里有个靶心
There's the bull's-eye, here's the gun.
我手上有枪，我要射击了，后退 -不对，那叫后座力
No, it's called recoil. -I'm doing it. Back up.
要死了，老兄 -没事...
Oh, shit, man. Whoa! -Okay. Okay.
你没事吧？-你手腕断了吗？
You okay? You okay? -Did you break your wrist?
你没事吧？-我没事
Yeah, I'm fine. -[Evan panting]
你还好吗？-我不知道...
You okay? -I don't know. I don't know.
不过，你看
Actually, hey, look at that.
正中目标呢
Bull's-eye, huh?
你看，感受那股力量，兄弟
Look at you. Feel that power, buddy.
最好是啦
Oh, hell yeah.
♪ Kyrie eleison down the road That I must travel ♪
♪ Kyrie eleison Through the darkness of the night ♪
♪ Kyrie eleison, where I'm going Will you follow? ♪
♪ Kyrie eleison On a highway in the night ♪
♪ Kyrie eleison down the road That I must travel ♪
♪ Kyrie eleison Through the darkness of the night ♪
♪ Kyrie eleison, where I'm going Will you follow?
♪ Kyrie eleison On a highway in the night ♪
♪ Kyrie eleison down the road That I must travel ♪