良师难为（2024）

It's like Tourette's syndrome with the tics and, like, the hardship, right?
但却是无症状的
But without any symptoms.
所以说，“无妥”更难搞
So in its way, AT is harder.
因为...什么是“无妥”？
Because... - What is AT?
噢...，是“无症状妥瑞症”，了解了
Oh, asymptomatic Tourette's. Okay.
会更难搞
Uh-huh. - It is harder.
因为，因为人们实际上根本不知道
Because people have, like, actually no idea
像凯拉这样的人每天都在内心，进行着怎样的斗争
the battle that people like Kayla are fighting inside every day.
是一种沉默的杀手
It's a silent killer.
所以有人说你罹患了...
And someone actually diagnosed you with this?
你这样问很不尊重人，我真的很抱歉...
It's disrespectful to ask that. I'm so sorry... It's okay.
没关系，当人们还没有学会礼仪时
You can't blame people for making really huge mistakes
犯下大错时，也不是故意的
when they haven't learned the etiquette.
我是自己发现到的
It's only self-diagnosable.
这样啊...
I see.
她自己掰了一个虚假的病
She's making up this whole fake disease.
然后说这病的症状就是“无症状”
She's describing the symptoms. There aren't any symptoms.
她称这个病叫“无症状妥瑞症”
She's calling it asymptomatic Tourette's.
我觉得我现在终于理解你的心情了
I feel like I've never related to you more
这些孩子为了自己的利益，瞎掰一堆东西，真的很绝
about these kids just making up crazy shit for their own benefit.It's insane.
你是否做过全面彻底的健康检查
Have you done a full and comprehensive diagnostic
看看是否有什么潜在的症状？
to see if there's any potential underlying symptoms?
我不是医生
I'm not a doctor,
我也不需要成为医生
but I don't have to be a doctor
才能分辨这女孩在瞎掰
to know that this girl is making something up.
这样吧，明天我到你课上找你
Tell you what, I'll come by your classroom tomorrow.
由我来亲自评估她的状况
Get a firsthand assessment of her condition.
你又不是医生
You're not a doctor.
再修2.5个运动机能学的学分
Two and a half more credits in
我就可以当医生了
kinesiology, and I would've been a doctor.
好的，学校有蓝色的彩带
Okay.
So then the blue streamers the school has.
我要去买♥♥金色的彩带
I have to buy gold streamers.
然后杂物间里有个梯子
And then there's a ladder I think in the utility closet.
是的，基本上就是这样，对吗？
Yeah, it's basically that. Right?
哇...我都没发现，我们还有行程表呢
Wow, I did not realize that we had, like, an agenda.
是啊...我只是...得回家批改这些论文
Oh, yeah. The... The... I just, um, have to get home to grade all these papers.
好吧，那就蓝色跟金色彩带吧
Yeah, okay. Blue and gold streamers it is.
天哪，抱歉让两位等这么久
Ugh. Oh, my God. I'm sorry that took so long.
其中一个经理在后面，偷偷摸摸地性骚扰我
One of the managers was, like, low-key sexually harassing me in the back.
不好意思这么问，两位是同志吗？
I'm sorry to ask this, are you guys gay?
对 -对
Mm-hmm. Yeah. - Mmm. Yeah.
我的同类，感谢上帝
My people. Thank God.
当你走进来时，我就注意到你了
When you walked in, I clocked you,
心想：“嘿，妹子！”
and I was like, "Hey, sister."
奥斯汀的同志圈真的是太棒了
And it's, like, the community in Austin is amazing,
我一直在找同类的人，但他们都...
but, like, I keep trying to reach out to people,
“你有毒或是我很忙”，而我心想...
and they're like, "You're toxic," or "I'm busy," and I'm like,
“宝贝，我没朋友”
"Babe, I have zero friends."
我才从密歇根州搬来
I moved here from Michigan.
今天俩位情侣要来点什么吗？
So, my dears, what can I get you two lovebirds for din-din?
抱歉，我们不是情侣，我们只是同事
Oh. Sorry. We're not lovebirds. We just work together.
我的天哪
Oh, my God.
我想我们需要多点时间考虑
I think maybe we need a little bit more time.
没问题
No sweat.
如果你需要什么，就喊声：“克拉克森” 我叫丹尼尔
Uh, if you need anything, holler "Clarkson." My name's Daniel.
我发现我其实一个人就能搞定很多事
So I'm... I'm realizing actually I can do a lot of this alone.
所以我想回家了，餐点外带就好
So I might just head home, and, uh, I'll get my food to go.
但是...好吧，我们才刚到啊
Hey, but, okay, we're here though.
我才刚点了杯白酒，所以...
And I just got my wine, so...
听着，我知道这委员会的事很烦人
Look, I get it. This committee shit. It's annoying.
但是...你知道，就放轻松，好好享受这过程
But, like, let's just, you know, have some fun with it.
好吧，算了
Okay. That's fine.
我这里有几个节目点子，如果你有兴趣讨论的话
Oh, I have a few ideas for the playlist, if you want to talk about that?
音乐不是由学生们负责吗？
Don't the kids do the music?
是啊，但我不觉得这是个好主意，对吧？
Yeah, see, I don't think that's a good idea, right?
因为在上一所学校，我让一个孩子在舞会上当DJ
Because at my last school, we let a kid deejay the prom,
结果他给我放了一整集的，戴克斯薛普播客节目
and then he tried to play an entire episode of Dax Shepard's podcast.
哪一集的播客？-哦
Which episode? - Oh.
我最近其实超级喜欢这首歌♥
I've actually been super into this song lately.
我...我放给你听
I... I'll just play it for you.
天哪
Oh, my God.
♪ Close your eyes Give me your hand, darling ♪
♪ Do you feel My heart beating? Do you understand? ♪
♪ Do you feel the same... ♪
你开玩笑吗？居然跑来我最爱的餐厅？
Are you fucking kidding? You come to my favorite restaurant?
我都怀孕六个月了，你这贱♥人♥
I'm six months pregnant, you bitch.
麦肯 我逗你的啦，
Malcolm. I'm kidding.
你怎么会在这里？宝贝，过来
What the fuck are you doing here? - Hey, babe. Come here.
嗨 -嗨
Hi. - Hi.
想你 -啊...
Ah, that's... - Miss you.
抱歉，麦肯 这位是亨利，
Sorry. Malcolm, this is Harry.
他现在在摩里森教课 亨利，这位是麦肯
He works at Morrison now. Harry, this is Malcolm.
他以前在摩里森高中工作过 - 对
He used to work at Morrison, but... - Yes. Yes.
我之前在摩里森工作过
I used to work at Morrison.
直到我跟他了上♥床♥，被学校解雇了
Until I got fired for fucking him.
最好是这样
That is not what happened.
是啊，我们上了床，有进去了，上面，下面
Yeah, we had sex. Penetrative. Top. Bottom.
并不是这样 -我被学校解雇啦
That is really not what happened. - And I got fired.
他...他是我前男友，现在我是单身
He was... He's my ex-boyfriend, and now I'm single.
这样很好，我喜欢单身 而且我不想谈...
Which I like. I like being single, and I don't want to have a...
我不想，我现在不想谈感情
I'm not... I'm not open to relationships.
好哦，今晚气氛有点紧张
Okay. High-strung tonight. Mm-hmm.
他今天约会是不是怪怪的？-这不是约会
Is he being weird on your date? It's not a date.
对了，那个...那个服务生，有没有问你是不是同志？
Um, hey, did... did the waiter ask you if you were gay?
没有，我想我太阳刚了吧
No. I guess I give off, like, a masc vibe.
有时候，我真希望能像你们一样，散发点阴柔的气质
Sometimes I wish I was more femme like you guys.
我曾为了吸引人注意而变得女性化，但这对我来说很不自然
I've tried to be femme for clout. It just doesn't come naturally to me.
我...你正要离开了
I-I... You're leaving.
要赶我走吗？我可以留下来跟你们聊天啊
Do I have to?
不...你赶快离开
I could stay and hang out. - No, you're leaving.
我跟你一起走 我必须得走了
I'm gonna leave with you. I have to go.
我...他可以送我
I just... He can give me a ride.
我也可以送你一程 -送你到停车的地方
I can give him a ride. - A ride to your car?
送我到停车的地方，没错...
A ride to my car, exactly. Yeah, so...
很高兴认识你 -合作愉快
Hey, nice to meet you.
那我们就上班时见了
Great work. And I-I will see you at work.
你也是，很高兴认识你
You too. Asante. - Um...
非常感谢，好耶！成功了
Thanks so much. Okay.
他很帅耶
Whoo! We did it. He's hot.
我真的得了新冠了
I literally have COVID.
他很帅，是吧？
He's hot, huh?
亨利
Harry.
天哪
My God.
我不敢相信葛兰居然找了，第二个奥斯汀帅哥同志
I can't believe Grant found the second-hottest gay guy
来替代我
in Austin to replace me.
这整件事情就是因为他对我有意思
It's just this whole thing because he's into me,
而且我看得出来他在故意接近我
and he's like... I can tell he's trying to make a move.
真的吗？-对啊
Really? - Yeah.
他对你有意思？
He's into you?
我可是没感觉到
I didn't get that vibe at all.
麦肯 -我就真的没感觉到啊
Malcolm. - I truly didn't.
他故意用手♥机♥放了一首很抒情的歌♥
He literally played a gorgeous song like this on his phone.
所以我们必须脸贴脸靠近点听
So we had to smoosh our faces together.
但那又不代表什么，我是说...一般人都会这样啊
But that doesn't mean anything. I mean, I... People do that all the time.
大家都会互相放音乐，根本没那么严重好吗
People play music for each other. It's, like, not really a big deal.
其实我有感觉到他在放电
I actually think I was getting a vibe from him.
他看着我，感觉像在对我说
He looked at me, and it kind of gave like,
“我们现在就接吻然后上♥床♥吧”
"Let's kiss and also fuck. Right now."
天哪 -吼...你忌妒了哦
Oh, my God.Oh! You're jealous.
我喜欢，那表情再多一点，拜托
I like that. More of that face, please.
这是你几个月来对我做过，最像男朋友的事
It's the most boyfriend-y thing you've done to me in months.
摩里森汉斯理高中，新吉祥物快出现了，抱歉