良师难为（2024）

Or I don't know, like, when I got you this job.
你帮我搞到这份工作？你不是有面试我吗？
Oh, you got... Oh, you got me this job? You didn't get me an interview?
因为我很确定是这样
I'm pretty sure that's what happened.
这就是帮人搞到工作啊
That's how you get somebody a job.
说实话，我真不敢相信 我居然和你成了朋友
I can't believe I'm friends with you, like, honestly.
有我这朋友是你运气好
You're lucky you're friends with me.
你竟然认为是你帮我 找到了这份工作
And the fact that you think you got me the job,
光凭这点我就知道你对我的看法了
that tells me everything that I need to know about what you think of me.
你觉得我是怎么看你的？-你觉得我是个蠢女孩
What do you think I think about you?That you think I'm a stupid girl
只知道在家等啊等的... 期待着你会打电♥话♥给我
that's just kind of waiting and hoping at home.Just waiting for you to call me.
好像我只有你这一个朋友似的，错 -退后，蒂芬妮
Like, you're just my only friend. No. - Can I have that back? - No.
脱掉你的夹克，蒂芬妮，给我... -放手啦
Take off your jacket. - I'm not giving this to you.
要说有人总是听你 在那边不停靠杯的话
If anyone's listening to anybody fucking bitch all the time,
那人就是老娘我 -我的天哪
it's me listening to you. - Oh, my God.
让我借此机会告诉你 老娘不是你的心理咨♥询♥师
Let me just take this opportunity to say I'm not your therapist.
亏我还帮你解决一堆烂事 我应该跟你收钱才对
I should be paid for the amount of shit I have to talk you through.
“麦肯是我男友吗？”我不知道 我是不是该去见我男友
"Is Malcolm my boyfriend? I don't know if I should make him my boyfriend.
“天哪，别...别再提他了
Oh, my God. No, don't text him anymore. He's not my friend.
他不再是我朋友了，天哪 我昨晚才跟他上过床“
Oh, my God. I fucked him last night." I cannot keep track.
你的抓马我都要跟不上了 -马可仕老师
Mr. Marquez, you have to send Becca home.
你必须把贝卡送回家 -直接断交就好了咩
Just cut her out of your life. - How's that my fault?
哇 -我人还在这里耶
Okay, I'm right here. - Whoa.
我没说要跟她断交
I didn't say I wanted to cut her out of my life.
是啊，如果你们俩真的是朋友 就不会一天到晚吵架了
Yeah, but you guys wouldn't be arguing all the time if you actually were friends.
你知道吗，蒂芬妮？马可仕老师的意思是
You know what, Tiffany? Mr. Marquez thinks that conflict
冲突代表着关系的结束
is the end of a relationship,
这也是为什么他无法接受 健康的冲突
which is why he's unable to engage in healthy conflict,
讽刺的是，这种特质 反而可能导致关系的结束
which is ironically a quality that can end a relationship.
或许我们才发现原来我们个性不合 -我的天哪
Maybe we're just realizing we're not a match.Oh, my God.
你干嘛这么激动啊？
Why is that vein bulging out of your neck?
我不知道，蒂芬妮，你去问关啊
I don't know, Tiffany.Just ask Gwen.
她知道我哪里有毛病
She knows everything that's wrong with me.
我说实话，你有病！
Actually, you are fucking insane.
去他的烂隧♥道♥！天哪！
Get me the fuck through this tunnel! God!
嘿...起来...
Hey. Hey!Up. Up, up.
怎么了？-你很清楚怎么回事，变♥态♥
What? Why? - You know damn well why, perverts.
谢谢...
Thank you. Thank you. - What was that about?
真是恶心
Just disgusting.
我不认为他们在做你认为的事
I don't think they were doing what you think they were doing.
啊？
Hmm?
我不认为你知道... 我觉得他们在做什么
You don't know the half of what I think they were doing.
对，我刚做了一个很酷的决定
Yeah, I just made this pretty cool decision,
就是不会再跟你说话了，掰
which is, I'm not gonna talk to you anymore.Bye.
结果那个鬼原来是...她哥哥...
And the ghost turned out to be her brother,
那个...死掉的哥哥 为什么？为什么他要来找她？
who was... who was dead.Why? Why was he haunting her?
因为...因为...她没去投票
Because... Because...she didn't vote. - Mmm.
这故事很恐怖，对不对？
Oh. Oh, my God. - That's pretty scary stuff, right?
所以，记得投票唷
That was so good. - So, let's vote.Yeah.
你干嘛带着夜视镜？
Why are you wearing those night vision goggles?
因为现在是晚上啊 这东西就是要在夜间用啊
'Cause it's nighttime. And they're badass.
好了，我们有一个小传统 给各位一个小惊喜
All right. Now, we have a little tradition.
来吧，马可仕老师、桑德斯老师 掌声鼓励鼓励
You're in for a little treat. Come on up, Mr. Marquez and Ms. Sanders.
大家好
Give it up.Hello.
一、二、三、四...
One, two, three, four.
♪ Frienemies who when you're down Ain't your friend ♪
♪ Every night we smash a Mercedes-Benz ♪
♪ First we run But then we laugh till we cry ♪
该你了
Here you go.
♪ But when the night is falling ♪
关...你唱啊...
Come on, Gwen. Just...
♪ When your dreams are dying ♪
该你唱了
It's your part.
♪ Hold tight You only... ♪
快唱啊，关
Just sing the song, Gwen.
不...你一个人就可以搞定了
No, no, no. I think you've got this.
所以我猜... 你才是那个不愿帮忙的人
So, I guess you're not the helpful one now.
因为你不愿跟我一起唱 这首歌♥独唱比较好，对吧？
You can't help me sing this song? - It's better solo, right?
人家又不需要我 我不认为你需要我
He doesn't need me. I don't think you need me.
我不觉得我俩很合
I don't think we're a match.
继续...节目必须要进行
Keep going. Keep going. Show must go on.
好，这不是合唱曲
Okay. It is not a duet.
♪ You've got the music in you ♪
♪ Don't let go You've got the music in you ♪
♪ One dance left This world is gonna pull through ♪
♪ Don't give up You've got a reason to live ♪
嘿，放他下来...我去吧
Hey, put him down! Put him down! - I got it.
♪ We only get what we give ♪
继续 -同学们...别玩了，拜托
Go on. - Guys, guys, stop. Please.
住手
Put him down.
♪ Health insurance, rip off lying FDA, big bankers buying ♪
♪ Fake computer crashes dining Cloning while they're multiplying ♪
♪ Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson Courtney Love and Marilyn Manson ♪
我觉得她疯了 -很棒啊
I think she's insane. - This is great.
♪ Come around We'll kick your asses ♪
好的，唱得很棒...
That's it. Okay. That's great. That's great.
靠，我又烧焦了一个
Fuck. I burnt another one.
关跟我没事啦，我觉得...
Yeah, Gwen and I are fine, I think.
如果不好，也是她的错，反正就这样
Or, if we're not fine, it's her fault. I don't know.
想说就说吧，兄弟
Mm-hmm. Let it out, buddy.
我是个很好的倾听者，你知道的
I'm a great listener, you know.
对啊，听着，我挺你，兄弟
Yeah, look, I got your back, man.
如果万一未来要选边站 你不要介意
And if it comes to us picking sides, it's nothing personal, I just...
我一定会选她那一边
I really prefer her company to yours.
你想要选关那一边？-对呀
You prefer Gwen's company? - Yeah.
真是谢了
Thank you.Stop.
救命吧 -你都这样求救哦？
Help. - Is that your safe word?
救命啊 -我觉得葛兰需要帮忙
Help. - I think Grant needs help.
雪伦？-干嘛？
Hey, Sharon. - Uh-huh.
我好像看到男生坐在一个野餐桌旁 靠近厕所那附近
I think I saw some boys sitting by a makeshift picnic table by the restroom.
你确定吗？-对
Are you serious? - Yeah. And I think...
而且我认为...可能还有一个女生在场
Now that I think about it, there might have been a girl over there as well.
我马上回来
I'll be right back.
这招厉害 -谢谢
That was good.
Thank you.
你没事吧？-没事...
You okay? - Yeah. Yeah.
每次那些住在郊区的妈妈们来到野外
Every time suburban moms come to the wilderness... I don't...
我不...就是会发生一些事 是啊
Something happens. - Yeah.
他们生产较便宜版本的夜视镜
They make cheaper night vision goggles,
但那些都不是真货，你懂吧？
but they're not the real McCoy, you know?
我是说，你看这里，开启...来了
I mean... And check this out, fire 'em up.
是啊，很酷 -真的
I mean, come on.Yeah, they're so cool.
每次我看《00:30凌晨密令》时 我都会戴上这个
Seriously, every time I watch Zero Dark Thirty,I just pop these bad boys on.
好似我就在现场
It's like I'm right there.
你看很多遍《00:30凌晨密令》？
You watched Zero Dark Thirty more than once?
你知道，本拉♥登♥有五个妻子
You know, Bin Laden had five wives. That's messed up, right?
简直是灾难，对吧？你一辈子只需要一个人就够了
You only need one person in life, you know?
你在说什么啊？
What are you talking about?
抱歉，我有一点...我想自己一个人静一静
Sorry, I just, like... I just... I just need to be alone right now. Just...
我是说，这真的是世人想要的吗？
I mean, is that what any of us really want in this world?
你说什么？-试看看
What? - Give 'em a test drive. That's all.
玩看看，戴上去玩玩 会让你吓到发狂哦
Just try 'em, you know. Just... They'll really freak your bean.
天哪，发狂？-你知道吼
Oh, my God. My bean? - You know?
不对，这里...对了...
No, right there, right there. Yeah, yeah. Right there.
怎么样，酷吧？
Ooh. - Yeah, right?
好酷哦 -是不是？
Oh, they're so cool. - Yeah.
这个借我玩，晚点再跟你聊
Oh, I wanna take these. I'll talk to you soon.
好吧，小心点
All right. Watch it though.
你可能会看到一些有的没的 可能会改变你的人生
You might see things you didn't know were there and that changes everything.
什么？
What?
疯狂的是，我到了32岁才开始抽大♥麻♥
The crazy thing is, I didn't even start smoking weed till I was 32...
可以帮我纾解“冒牌者综合征”
to help deal with my imposter syndrome.
32岁？你现在几岁啊？-我知道，夸张吧？
Thirty-two? How old are you now? - I know, right? Exactly.
你没事的，呼吸...你会没事的
You're okay. Just breathe. You'll be fine..
这里有人是医生吗？
Is anyone here a doctor?
关 -家庭医师...
Gwen? - Parent doctor. Parent doctor.
呼吸...
Just breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
是因为我吗？-关，如果你嗑了药，必须要跟我们说
Was it something I said? - Gwen, if this is drugs, we need to know.
不用害羞，我们不会怪你，告诉我们就好
No shame. No judgment.We just need to know.
不是嗑药啦，笨蛋 -不是嗑药...