良师难为（2024）

你什么？-我感觉被人霸凌了
You feel like what? - I feel attacked right now.
我才感觉被霸凌咧！
I feel attacked!
这是我的声明
Here's my statement.
我还想说，结合这一切
I also wanna say in conjunction with this
这整件事简直是闹剧，好吗？
that this whole thing is very messed up, okay?
今年我一开始就遇到这种鸟事...
This has messed up the beginning of my year.
这是干什么用的？
It's... - What's this in regards to?
里面写的是...就为了个小事
What's... The investigation into this completely innocuous thing.
需要对我做调查 -艾文
Oh, my God. Evan...
...我不过就只是对我的爱人，表达对他的爱而已
Expressing love to my life partner at the time.
艾文...调查已经结束了
Evan, the investigation is over.Sorry. I forgot to tell you.
对不起，我忘记跟你说了...
I forgot to tell you.
你在说什么啊？
What the fuck are you talking about?
那位母亲撤销投诉了 -整件事
The mom dropped the whole case. The whole thing.
已经完了、掰了、没了
Done. Gone. Boom.
什么？ 她呢...
What? - Well, she...
显然是马奇...马奇去跟她谈过了
Well, apparently Markie talked to her.
马奇去找她谈过了？-对，他俩是熟识了
Markie talked to her? - Yeah, they're close.
我不知道他俩是怎么认识的，不过，没错 他跟她解释了一堆
I don't know how, but yeah, he talked some sense into her.
然后就没事了
It's... done.
天哪
Oh, my God.
不，还有件事
Um, no, but there is one thing.
学区那边有说...说了件事
The district did say... did say one thing.
我找找看，在哪呢？
Let me find it.
是说...从现在开始你被禁止跟...
That you are strictly forbidden from dating...
你被严格...你被严格禁止跟
That you are strictly... That you are strictly forbidden
学校的教职员约会
from dating faculty from now on.
违反规定就得滚蛋，不然
Hmm? You'll be fired, otherwise.
你就不会有事，懂吗？
You're okay with that, right?
懂
Yeah.
你应该看看我写的声明书，我花了整个礼拜写的，写得不错
You should read my statement. I spent all week on it. It's really good.
好，我看看
Oh. Uh, sure. Yeah.
“致相关人士”
Oh, "To whom it may concern..."
“盖世太保”通常会大写
"Gestapo" usually comes with a capital.
不过，写得不错，不错
But it's really good. Really good.
马奇...
Markie. Markie.
你跑去跟那个母亲说，这也太神奇了吧
You talked to the mom. This is incredible.
没错，老兄，别吓到罗
Oh, dude, yeah. Don't even sweat that.
我其实认识“喇叭女”哈里森很多年了
I've known Loudmouth Harrison for years.
我们之前都叫她“鲈鱼大喇叭”
想要引她“上鈎”也不难，对吧？
We used to call her Bass Mouth. You wanna get a hook in there, don't you?
这太棒了，天哪 -我真的是舒了一大口气了 -不客气
This is phenomenal. Oh, my God. The relief I am feeling.
不用客气，兄弟，你帮我，我帮你罗
Not a problem. You help me, I help you.
怎么回事？你是怎么跟她说的？
What happened? What did you say to her?
我走进她常去的乡村俱乐部
I walked into the country club where she frequents,
在她喝了三杯马丁尼后，对她说
caught her three martinis in and said,
“给我收敛一点，否则我就告诉大家，你儿子是同性恋”
"Hey, back off, or I'ma tell everyone here that your son is gay."
你什么？-我是说他是同志，我没骗人哦
You what? - I mean, he is gay.
你知道，就跟她讲实话就好啦
It's not lying. You know, it's just hitting her with the truth.
某些人无法接受这种东西
Some people can't handle that shit.
不对，你不能利用恐同症，来对付恐同症
No, you can't use homophobia to fight homophobia.
我们手上有什么就用什么 -不
We work with the tools we have. - No.
有什么大不了的？我帮你了一个...，拜托，怎么...你生气啦？
What's the big deal? I did you a... Come on. Are you mad?
我是想赢得这场论述没错，马奇
The big deal is I wanted to win this for real, Markie,
但不是靠你去威胁人家啊 不是恐吓哦，反正最后
not with threats from you. - It's not a threat.
他们一定都会知道 我只是加速了这个过程而已
They're all gonna find out eventually. I just offered to expedite the process.
这是原则问题，马奇
I... This is about principles, Markie.
这关乎我在现代社会中，作为一个男人存在的权利
This is about my right to exist as a man in the modern world
不被像这样的女人骚扰
without being harassed by women like this.
这关乎伦理和理想
This is about ethics and... and ideals.
你醒醒好不好，艾文
Wake up, Evan!
没有人在乎你那些崇高理想，好吗？兄弟
No one gives a shit about your highfalutin ideals, bro. Okay?
认真说，人生就像一场足球赛
Seriously. Life is a football game,
而你穿着该死的芭蕾舞裙来打球
and you keep showing up in a goddamn tutu, all right?
我们处于劣势，第四次进攻，还剩一♥码♥
We were down, fourth and one.
我喊了一个战术，四分卫突袭
I called the play, quarterback sneak.
现在我们又获得了一次进攻的机会
Now we got a new set of downs,
你就躲在那些大块头屁♥股♥后面就好了，可以吗？
and you can go stand behind a bent-over dude again, all right?
是我让你保住工作的，兄弟，因为你是我朋友
I saved your job, man, because you're a friend.
朋友就该义气相挺
That's what friends do.
我们互相帮忙
如果这样你还不满意
We help each other out, and if that's not part of your fucking code,
那我也不知道该跟你说什么了
then I don't know what else to say to you, dude.
摩里森汉斯理高中
你说的足球赛规则我一窍不通
I don't understand the football stuff you were saying...
但还是谢谢你，谢谢
but...thanks.
慢着，等一下，
Thank you. - Wait, hold up.
好了
All right.
嘿...有我在
Hey, anytime.
好吗？两肋插刀
See? Anytime.
也要挺你，彩虹哥
I got you,Froot Loop.
课堂守则
♪ But you're a liar if you say that you're fine ♪
♪ Bet you wonder if I think of you now ♪
艾文，怎么样啊？你见过哈利了吗？那个新来的
[Rick] Evan! What up?
英文无极限
Have you met Harry, the new guy?
他正在找一些白板擦
He's looking for some dry erasers.
学生们一直在他白板上画翘屁♥股♥
Kids keep drawing bubble butts on his board.
这家伙简直是百宝箱
This guy hoards everything.
我是有多的白板擦
I do have an extra eraser.
我忘了介绍我自己了，我是艾文马可仕
Hey, I actually forgot to introduce myself.
你好，我是哈利道德勒，我...
I'm Evan Marquez. - Hi, Harry Daughtler.
不错啊
I... - Nice.
关说你来自路易斯安那州
Gwen said you're from Louisiana.
对，我家被一场风暴给毁了，所以...
Yeah.My home got destroyed in the storm so...
哦...哇...
Oh, wow.
想说就搬来这发展了
Tryna build a new home here, you know?
挺棒的啊，很遗憾你家...
That's great. I'm so sorry...
我不该说“挺棒的”，很遗憾那场风暴
It's not great. I'm sorry about the storm.
就很惨啊
It sucked.
我喜欢你的衬衫
I like your shirt.
这件白衬衫？
This white shirt?
对啊
Yeah.
♪ You and I ♪
♪ You don't wanna talk about it ♪
♪ You don't wanna talk about ♪
♪ You and I ♪
♪ We don't ever talk about it ♪
♪ But in my head ♪
♪ Oh, you say Say you still want it ♪
♪ That you're done with being lonely now ♪
♪ It's you and I ♪
♪ You and I ♪