良师难为（2024）

♪ I never knew there'd come a day ♪
一，二，三。
One, two, three.
♪ When I'd be sayin' to you ♪
♪ Don't let this good love slip away ♪
到哪去了...
Where's my... Oh.
♪ Now that we know that it's true ♪
♪ No, said I'd never fall in love again ♪
♪ But it's real And the feeling comes shining through ♪
德克萨斯，76R-872U
摩里森汉斯理高中 教职员，127号♥
♪ So caught up in you, little girl ♪
《良师难为》
♪ And I never did suspect a thing ♪
♪ So caught up in you, little girl... ♪
早啊 -有吉他，好耶
Guitar, yes.
妖娇的女教授 -哈罗，我真不敢相信
I can't believe it. Hello!
我们今年要唱“激进小子”的《你付出什么，就会得到什么》
We are gonna sing "You Get What You Give" by the New Radicals this year
而且要比以往唱得还好 -真不敢相信耶
better than we ever have before. - I can't believe it.
连续第四年了说 -这是首“神曲”
It's an anthem. - Fourth year in a row.
马可仕老师，贝卡真的很贱耶
Mr. Marquez, Becca's being such a bitch.
蛤，什么？
Oh. I... What? Whoa, now.
她说我没“卡称”
She said I have no ass.
蒂芬妮，我可没那么说
Tiffany. I did not say that.
你就是那么说的啊
Yeah, you literally did though.
你的确那么说了...
You literally did though.
我只是说它可以再大一点
I'm just saying it could be bigger.
真的抱歉，这我无法给意见
I... I'm sorry, I truly cannot comment on this.
我可以，你的“卡称”好得很 贝卡是你最好的朋友
I can, you're good. - Becca is your best friend.
你去跟她谈谈，搞清楚
Just literally go talk to her. Figure it out.
算了
Whatever.
噢，真的没“卡称” -关
Oh, it is flat. - Gwen.
注意了，各位，欢迎各位同学
Attention everyone.
老师、家长义工们
Students, teachers, parent chaperones,
来到这个学年中最难忘的周末
for the most memorable weekend of the school year,
这是高一年级的校外教学
the junior class field trip.
别再说了，是的...
Oh! Give... Give it up.
我们对此感到非常兴奋
Yes, yes, we're very excited about that. - Whoo!
好的，我们有90分钟...90分钟的时间到那里
All right. So we've got 90 minutes, 90 minutes to get there.
我们不想浪费时间
We don't want to waste any time.
所以要尿尿的趁现在赶紧去尿 否则你就给我憋住
So if you have to pee, pee now or forever hold your pee.
你看这东西，250大卡 还含有大豆和坚果
Look at this shit. "250 calories. Contains soy and tree nuts."
兄弟，吃完这玩意儿我肯定变浩克
Boy, I'm gonna be yoked after this thing.
我劝你去郊外远足时千万别吃玩意
I hope you don't plan on eating those out in the wild, man.
我要是黑熊，几英哩外 我都能闻到那味道
I'm a black bear?I'm smelling that from a thousand miles out.
你是黑熊？
You're a black bear?
大自然是很残酷的，瑞克
The wilderness takes no prisoners, Rick.
我们在预备役学校学的第一件事 就是这个
That's the first thing we learned at ROTC. R-O-T-C.
你不是被踢出来了吗？
Didn't you get kicked out?
所以我只记得这件事啊
I guess that's why I only remember the first thing they taught us.
还有我不是被踢走的，我是光荣退役的
And I didn't get kicked out. I was honorably discharged.
我才没那么弱好吗
I'm not a fucking pussy.
尼克跟我昨晚来了一炮 感觉像是久违的第一次呢
Nick and I had sex last night for, like, the first time in forever.
几个月都没做了 -几个月？
In, like, months.- In months? - Mm-hmm.
什么？-没事...
What? - It's fine. It's fine.
有时候他自己打手♥枪♥ 我在一旁“观礼”
Sometimes he jerks off and I watch.
真的假的？异性恋都这样搞哦？
Is that it? Is that what being straight is like?
我想说的是，我们找了一种 不含乳胶的...
I'm making a point.
有牌子的保险套...他感觉... -保险套？
So we found, like, a latex-free brand of condoms that he...
你知道我对乳胶过敏吧？
Condoms? - You know I'm allergic to latex, right?
我感觉你好像忘了
I feel like you're losing that... that thread.
关，我认识你多久了？我知道你对乳胶过敏
How long have I known you? I know you're allergic to latex.
抱歉打扰了，我叫雪伦 我是其中一名家长义工
Sorry to interrupt. Hi, I'm Sharon, one of the parent chaperones.
你好啊 -你们刚刚是不是在谈保险套？
Hey. - Were you guys talking about condoms?
孩子们会带保险套吗？
Did the kids bring condoms?
孩子们会带保险套吗？我不知道耶 我们不知道孩子们会带什么
Did the kids bring condoms? I don't know. We don't know what the kids brought.
那好吧
Okay. Well.
怎么了？-好
What? Right.
抱歉，我会小声点的 -好
Sorry, I'll keep it down. - Uh.Yeah.
话说这趟郊游...
This whole trip, these kids are gonna be trying
这些孩子们会试图玩各种性变♥态♥游戏
to get into all sorts of wicked little sexual games.
非常特定的那种游戏
Very specific games.
好的，我们会盯着... -对啊
Okay. Well, we'll keep an eye out. - Yeah.
你们听过“面瘫”吗？-什么？
You know about Stone Face? - What?
这就是孩子们最近很流行的 变♥态♥色情游戏
It's a new sex game these kids are playing.
你们知道怎么玩吗？-我们知道怎么玩？
You know how they play?
不知道，我们连听都没听过 -我连提都不想提
Do we know how they play? No, we've never heard of this.
就是这么变♥态♥
You know, I don't even want to say. That's how deviant it is.
哇
Ah.
就是一群男生围着一张桌子坐 然后一个女生
A bunch of boys sit around a table and one girl, God help her,
妈妈咪呀...女的要钻到桌子底下 帮其中一个男生...
gets under that table and gives one of them...
吹♥喇♥叭♥？-小声点啦
Blow job?
然后被吹的男生
And then the young man on the receiving end,
脸部表情要保持这样
he has to keep a straight face like this.
“面瘫”
A stone face.
然后他们要猜那个幸运男生是谁
And then they guess who the lucky boy was.
我不懂，谁来猜啊？
I don't understand. Who guesses?
所有人啊
Everyone.
你干嘛一直往后看？
Why you keep looking back there? - What?
什么？-你怪怪的
Something's going on with you.
没有啦，我...
No, man. I...
我觉得我跟关有机会
I think I got a shot with Gwen.
哇...兄弟，我很确定你没机会 人家是正妹耶
Wow, dude. I'm pretty sure you don't.
你秀逗了哦？
She's like a bombshell.
那又怎样？
So? - What are you, crazy?
你看到她的男友啦 尼克？
You saw the guy she's dating. Nick?
那家伙简直是阿多尼斯好吗？
He's a frigging Adonis.
啥...希腊帅哥神“阿多尼斯”？
No. An Adonis?
他泡过水也不过140磅重 连土都铲不动，更别说救命了
He's 140 pounds soaking wet. Can't shovel dirt to save his life.
我觉得瘦的男生通常被认为很有魅力
I think guys that are thin are often considered attractive.
关需要真正的汉子，好吗？
Gwen needs a real man, all right?
一个可以保护她、养她的男人
A man that can protect her, who could provide for her.
可以在山林里砍柴的那种
Who could... Who could chop wood in nature.
我觉得女人比较在乎男人 长得帅不帅，个性好不好
I think women care more, like, if a guy's got a cute face and good personality.
所以你根本不合格
So you might be fucked.
大错特错
Wrong.
如果你还不知道什么是 “超级绿帽”
And if you don't know what a "power cuck" is already,
我敢保证，这个周末结束前 你肯定看得到
I can guarantee you, you'll see it in action before the weekend is out.
这点我很怀疑
I highly doubt that.
对啊，我真得不认为需要担心太多
Yeah. Again, I don't think you have to worry about these kids.
这个周末你可以好好放松一下
You know, you could just have fun this weekend.
要参加这趟旅游 成绩必须是B以上的才能参加
Fun? Uh...Like, you need a B average to get on this trip.
我想提一下，连恩德瑞克发明了“舔头”这种把戏
Oh, okay.And I'll just say that Liam Drake invented tip-licking
结果目前人在乔治城大学，就是这样
and he's at Georgetown.So, there's that. - Tip-licking?
“舔头”？-“舔头”哪够啊
No one wants just the tip licked.
饶了我吧 -只是个游戏，好吗？只是个游戏
That can't be real. - It's a game. Okay? It's a game.
好吧，这样好了 我们会注意那些...
Okay. Well, you know what?We're gonna keep a good eye out
桌子啊或是男生们...
for any tables or boys...
对，桌子跟椅子 -还有坐着时候...
Yeah, tables and chairs. - ...sitting down situations.
谢谢你们，还要拜托你们 帮我盯着点我儿子
Thank you. And please, if we can just keep a close eye on my son.
那些女生会把他生吞活剥的
The girls are just trying to eat him alive.
他正值青春期
Puberty has hit him like a truck,
虽然有副成人身躯 但心里还是个小孩
and he is just a little boy in the body of a man.
哪一位是你儿子？抱歉，我忘了
Which one's your son? Sorry, I forget.
最可爱的那个啊
The cutest one here.
贾许吗？不是吗？
Josh? Or not Josh?
关 -詹姆士
Gwen. - James.
皮尔森 -哦，詹姆士皮尔森
Pearson.- Oh, James Pearson.
他哦...不，他... 我知道你为什么会担心了
Oh, yeah. No, he is in the...- I see why you're worried. - Yeah.
这个没办法塞进去
This is off axis here.
我从来不知道有这种架子 先把东西放进账篷里
I never knew this system where you put the stuff in the tent
然后再把帐篷搭建起来
and then you build the tent around it. -
对了，关，你有看到我的马刺队帽子吗？
Oh, Gwen. Did you find my Spurs hat?
我还是找不到，它失踪了 -我也没看到
I can't find it still. It's MIA. - I... I didn't.
真的很抱歉，我到处都找过了
I'm sorry.I looked everywhere.
真的很抱歉 -等等，你们说什么？
Wait. What? - I'm so sorry.
等等，你怎么会有他的帽子？
Wait. Why would you have his hat?