良师难为（2024）

我只能做到这样 -我才不写声明
That's what I can do. - I'm not writing a statement.
这根本就是恶搞 -这不是恶搞
This whole thing is bullshit. - It's not bullshit.
你该庆幸人家没有将你停职
You're lucky they're not suspending you.
葛兰，我问你
Grant, let me ask you something.
她的小孩...你还记得吧？-记得
Her kid... Remember that kid? - Yeah.
他现在是同志吗？他上大学了
Is he gay now? He's in college
他现在变同志了，对吧？
and he's gay now, right?
我一直觉得那个孩子是同志
I always felt like that kid was gay.
拜托...艾文，别说了...够了！
Just... Evan, just stop.- Stop. Just stop. - I'm right? I'm right.
我说对了吧？我就知道，她以为是我害她儿子变同志的
She thinks I turned her kid gay.
别说了 -这太扯了吧
Will you stop that? - This is insane!
艾文，拜托你今天剩下的时间，就请假休息吧
Evan, just please take the rest of the day off!
我猜我之前有说过
I mean, I guess I have said this before.
就不要...随便啦，但我的确是为了某个原因辞职的
Not to, like, whatever, but I did quit for a reason.
我知道你辞职是有原因的
I know you quit for a reason.
我呢...我现在过的很不错呢
I'm, like... I really am thriving right now.
他们说，奥斯汀那边的科技工作多到爆
They're, like, giving away tech jobs in Austin.
我在那工作...有两个月了吧
I've worked at the job for, what, two months now.
我用了我的牙医保险四次
I've used my dental insurance four times. Four times.
四次哦，没什么原因也被要求要戴牙套
I'm getting braces for, like, no reason.
我不会放弃教书的，我不是搞科技的料
I'm not gonna quit teaching. I can't just work in tech.
我需要一份对我有意义的工作，虽然我讨厌这样
I need a job that means something to me, which I hate.
对啊，真的很烂
Yeah. No, that... that sucks.
但我的意思是，如果你在奥斯汀这种
Maybe if you were in a city school here in Austin,
市区学校里工作是一回事，但到郊区工作
it would be one thing,but these suburbs,
那里的人可是很保守的哦
they're still, like, very old-fashioned.
不行啊，我得待在这 因为在那样偏执的地方
No, but I have to stay there because somewhere bigoted like that
唯有你可以改变一切
is where you can make the most difference.
如果我不为那些被体系荼毒的孩子们
Like, what am I doing if I'm not trying to improve the future
努力改善未来，那请问我在干什么？
for these kids that come through that system?
如果我屈服于那些保守家长们的邪恶意图
If I just succumb to the evil intentions of their conservative parents,
到时小孩子长大后，就会变得跟他们父母亲一模一样
then the kids are gonna grow up to be exactly like them.
情况就会像80年那样，甚至更糟
Then it's 1980 again or worse. - Okay.
好，这么说吧
I mean, I will just say, like,
我不会说所有保守派都很邪恶
I wouldn't think of all conservatives as evil.
我的意思是，基本上，我已经是个保守派了
I don't. - I'm conservative at this point.
不，不是说凡事都很保守，我还是会想说...
No, you're not. - No, not about everything.
社会要进步啦... -你才不会...你会这么说是因为
I still want social progress. - You say it 'cause it's kitschy,
你觉得这很俗气，但你其实并不是共和党人
but you're not actually a Republican.
不，我真的...就好像，我反对很多左派...
No, I really... It's like, I am against a lot of what the left...
我甚至不知道我现在是什么立场了，我有在听“红色恐慌”播客
I don't know what I am anymore. I listen to Red Scare.
如果我的性向是...噢，我喜欢这首歌♥
If my very desire to fuck is... I love this song.
如果我的性向，会让他们感到不安
If my very desire to fuck is, like, up for debate
或是不道德的
or potentially evil to them...
我不知道，或许我们该做些什么
I don't know. We have to do something.
“我们”？你跟我吗？
Oh, "we"? You and I?
你跟我，我们一起
You and I, us together...
去跟学校董事会谈 -不要
...go talk to the school board. - No.
我们俩才是当事人耶
We're the ones who kissed.
“我们”甚至已不是一对了，谁叫你不给我承诺呢
"We" are not even together anymore 'cause you can't commit.
你总是表现得是我跟你说分手，但我没要分手耶
You always act like I broke up with you.But I didn't break up with you.
而我们是分手了
We broke up with each other.
我再也不会想靠近那学校
I'm not going back anywhere near that school.
而我也不想淌这浑水
And I'm certainly not getting involved.
那张纸上面说
On that note, if you are open to it,
如果你愿意的话，我今天可以去你家玩
I would be down to hang out today at your place.
好吧
Okay. Wow. - I'm supposed to take
我应该好好放个假，好好思考一下
the rest of the day off to think about my actions.
你看，你就是这样
See, this is your whole thing.
你这叫“庸人自扰” -这是我的问题，没错
This is my thing. - You create your own problems.
像这样，举个例好了...如果你，让我怀孕了怎么办？
Like this, for example.What happens if you get me pregnant?
孩子要留吗？我没办法养小孩哦
Like, are we gonna keep the baby?I can't raise a baby.
我在科技业工作 -如果我能搞大你的肚子
I work in tech.If I get you pregnant,
那太阳要打西边出来了
it would be a miracle.
♪ Forgiving who you are ♪
♪ For what you stand to gain ♪
这样的行为不会被人接受
This behavior would not only be tolerated,
但如果是异性恋的话，反而会受到鼓励
but encouraged if a straight couple did the same.
致相关人士：我在课堂上，亲吻了我男友的脸颊
或许还接触到了他的嘴唇一下
我们当时正在认真交往中
恐同症...
Homophobia...
哈罗
Hello.
你在干嘛呀，你这可爱的男同志？
What are you doing, you little gay guy?
我真喜欢听你那样叫我
I love when you call me that. Um...
我正在撰写声明，要提交给本次调查用的
I'm writing this official statement
that I have to submit for this investigation.
你写到哪了？
What do you have so far?
“致相关人士：
"To Whom it may concern:
我在课堂上
I pecked my boyfriend on the cheek,
亲吻了我男友的脸颊 或许还接触到了
perhaps making momentary passing contact with his lips,
他的嘴唇一下
in front of a class of his students.
我们当时正在认真交往中
We were in a serious relationship at the time, and it is clear to me
而显然这样的行为 不会被人接受，
that this behavior would not only be tolerated but encouraged
但如果是异性恋的话，反而会受到鼓励“
if a straight couple did the same."
目前只写到这，感觉有点防御的味道
That's all I have. It feels kinda defensive.
不会啊，我觉得写得很好
No, no. I think that's good.
你说的没错啊
You're in the right on that. - Yeah.
是啊
Yeah.
你有跟麦尔康说吗？
Did you talk to Malcolm about it?
我们今天才打了一炮，说真的
We hooked up today, actually.
天哪
Oh, my God.
真狂耶你，我不知道你们还会上♥床♥
Crazy. I didn't know you guys did that still.
是啊，不是常常啦，就有时候
Yeah, barely. Sometimes.
你们是在学校众多学生面前晒恩爱吗？
Did you guys do it at the school in front of all the students?
我懂啦...
Ha, ha, ha. - I got you. I got you.
你要一般的还是素披萨？
Do you want regular or vegan pizza?
素的
The vegan one.
抱歉，尼克在做晚餐
Sorry, Nick's making dinner,
自从他失业后
and he's just basically been trying to busy himself
就一直给自己找事做
since he lost the job. - Mmm.
他最近一直做健康低脂的餐点
He's been making, like, those Hello Fresh meals
但又咸的要命
that are too salty.
跟他说我爱他
Tell him I love him.
艾文说他爱你啦
Evan says he loves you.
他说他也爱你
Aw. He loves you too.
好了，我要闪了，爱你唷
Okay, I gotta... I gotta go. I love you so much.
好吧，爱你，掰啦
Okay, love you. Bye.
♪ I get lost in the night and I'm with you ♪
♪ A thousand times ♪
♪ Ooh, you love me right in Nirvana, so fast ♪
♪ You're the best part of a sad song ♪
♪ You got me all out of breath Too fast ♪
♪ And I miss you when I'm going home ♪
♪ And I've been running in circles again ♪
♪ But I swear that I can feel the end ♪
♪ If I'm not in Nirvana ♪
♪ You're not out of my head ♪
♪ I've been out there running like a lonely soul on fire ♪
♪ Everybody's talking ♪
♪ And I can't get through the night ♪
♪ Somewhere in the middle Did it ever cross your mind? ♪
♪ I get lost in the night and I'm with you ♪
♪ A thousand times, ooh... ♪
天哪
Ow! Jesus!
想快一点啊，马可仕，拜托哦，老兄
Think fast, Marquez. Come on, man.
你怎么可以拿球砸我，还叫我要“想快一点”？
You can't just throw a ball at me and then say "think fast."
一颗球突然砸过来，是要我怎么躲？
I can't anticipate a ball that just appears out of nowhere.
在写你的辩护声明啊，懂了 -我没办法...天哪，
Working on your defense statement, I see. - I'm not allowed...
那张烂东西，我都知道是什么了
That's a piece of shit. I can tell.
你怎么会认为我想要写辩护声明？
How do you know I have to write a defense statement?
因为我消息灵通啊 因为我埋“耳”苦干啊
Because I know things, man. I got my ear to the grindstone.
我只听过“埋头苦干”，哪来的“埋耳苦干”？
You know it's "nose to the grindstone" or "ear to the ground"?
不，随你怎么想，我对局势了如指掌，懂了吗？
No, it could be whatever you want. I got my finger on the pulse, okay?
你说的没错 -好，你要说...
That's correct. - Okay.
“我被人骚扰针对，因为我...” 也就是你
Put this in there: "I am being targeted for harassment because I"... You...
“是一个骄傲的同志”
"I am a proud gay man."
我没那么骄傲
I'm not that proud.
有时就是要“以暴制暴”，马可仕
You gotta fight fire with fire these days, Marquez.
人生可不是充满诗意的，而是要“直球对决”的
Life's not a fucking poem.- It's a full-contact sport.
噢，好痛 -我就说嘛，兄弟
Ow. Jesus.I'm just saying, man, like...