良师难为（2024）

这些屁孩们就是想要获得那种，可以打♥压♥异己的权力感
These kids, they want the power they feel when they get you in trouble.
他们就像精神病院里的...
They're the inmates who wanna run the asylum...
你这样说没错，但重点是
It's not a bad point.But the thing is
那孩子并不想从中获得权力，而是他妈
the kid is not trying to get power in the situation.It's his mother.
等一下...琳达哈里森
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Linda Harrison.
天哪，早知道就不告诉你了
Oh, God. I'm not supposed to tell you.
我不应该透露对方姓名的 -那是她儿子哦？
It's her son? - I was supposed to...
他选你的课，然后她...我靠，老兄
He took your class... - ...keep it anonymous.
她会这么气是因为她儿子是同志，对吗？
Holy shit, dude. She's saying because her son's gay, right?
她儿子变同志又不是我害的
I didn't turn her son gay. - I'm not...
我没有...呃...你确定吗？
Well, you're sure about that?
最好这样可以变同志啦，马奇，你没办法让异性恋变同性恋
It doesn't work that way, Markie. You can't turn people gay.
我没说你是故意的啊
I'm not saying you did it on purpose,
但，你听我说，他看见你勇于做自己，然后他就想...
but, look, he sees you being you and thinks,
“我也想像老师那样”
"That's how I wanna be."
我第一次亲眼见到荷西坎塞柯时，也是这么想啊
That's how I felt the first time I saw Jose Canseco in person.
谁是荷西坎塞... -终于跑完了
Who is Jose... - There he is.
艾瑞克“短腿”冈萨拉斯，
Eric "Not-So-Speedy" Gonzalez.
跑了17分51秒，超快的！
17:51.
这就是为什么我认为这整本书
...which is why I think this whole book
还有什么人们被24小时监视的想法，根本是鬼扯
and the idea of people being spied on 24/7 is bullshit.
别说脏话 -这是读书会，又没差
Don't curse. - This is book club. It's fine.
又不是真的课，马可仕老师 -严格来说，这还算是上课
It's not actual class. - Still technically school.
这话是从正在接受调查的老师口中，说出来的吗？
This is coming from our teacher who's being investigated?
你怎么会知道这件事？
How do you know that?
拜托，谁不知道啊
Come on. Everybody knows this.
你在一群学生面前，亲了你男友
You kissed your little boyfriend in front of the students.
不管我做了什么，还是没做什么
Well, whatever I did or didn't do,
我不打算跟你们谈这件事
I'm not gonna talk about it with you guys.
就声称他们攻击你 是因为你是西班牙裔
Just claim they're attacking you because you're Hispanic
他们这算种族歧视
and they have a racist agenda.
对，但跟这件事没关系
That has nothing to do with it.
西班牙裔这招行不通
Hispanic would never work anyway because they can do, like,
因为他们一测DNA就知道啦
one of those DNA tests and disprove it.
天哪，贝卡，他是西班牙裔
Oh, my God, Becca. He is Hispanic.
此话怎讲？-他妈来自哥伦比亚
In what way? - His mom's from Colombia.
那又不算西班牙裔，西班牙裔指的是墨西哥人
That's not Hispanic. Hispanic means Mexican.
我要打电♥话♥报♥警♥了 -你这是在霸凌我
I'm calling the cops. - You're bullying me.
是你在霸凌我，因为我跟你说过，别跟我说话
You're bullying me 'cause I told you not to talk to me.
听我说，马可仕老师
Look, Mr. Marquez.
你是同志，也是西班牙裔 这稳赢的啊
You're gay, you're Hispanic. This is a slam dunk here!
我就跟你说拿同志当挡箭牌根本无效 而他讲话就像个异性恋白人
Gay doesn't count anymore. And he talks like a straight white guy.
我觉得你的声音是有点娘啦
I think your voice is a little gay.
根本超娘的 -谢了
Actually really gay. - Oh, thanks.
如果他们想找你麻烦，就是要找啦
If they're gonna get you, they're gonna get you.
你根本无力反抗
There's nothing you can do about it.
我就被逮过啊，然后被人剥了层皮
They got me, and I had everything going for me.
杰夫，你会被逮是因为，你在高中舞会上卖♥♥摇♥头♥丸♥
Jeff, they got you for selling molly at junior prom.
我那是“梗”好吗
I was doing it as a bit.
自从我第一次穿上那件迷彩工作服
And they've all been trying to get me
他们就一直想抓我
since the first time I wore those camo overalls,
那次也是个“梗” 杰夫，你所谓的“梗”是什么意思？
which I was also doing as a bit. - Jeff, what do you mean by "bit"?
意思是说，我做任何事，都是出于真心
Just something I'm doing and I really mean it.
狗屁不通 -既然校方都这样对你了
That's not right. - Why would you stay at a job
那你干嘛还要继续当老师？-对呀
if they're treating you like this? - Exactly.
因为这份工作对我来说很重要啊
Because this job is important to me.
我喜欢看着年轻的孩子们成长茁壮
I like watching young kids bloom and grow.
你出庭的时候别这样说，拜托，那听起来很变♥态♥
Don't say that at your trial, okay? It sounds creepy.
不会有什么出庭作证，好吗？
There's not gonna be a trial, okay?
你们这些人真的是有够靠...，你们吓到我了
You guys are fucking... You're freaking me out.
你刚刚说脏话了 -学校里不准说脏话
You just said the F-word! - No cursing at school.
好了，读书会结束了
Okay. That's our time.
希望下周你们的论文截止时
Hopefully, we can be more productive next week
能来点更有建设性的东西
when your essays are due.
谢谢大家
Thank you.
马可仕老师，您听我说
Mr. Marquez, look.
我们大家都是挺你的
We're on your side, okay?
不用理睬那些看不惯同志公开放闪的人
Fuck those people who don't like little gay kisses, you know?
你看
Look.
新来的物理老师，还没被辣玉米片给“雷”过
New physics teacher hasn't learned to not eat the nachos yet.
很快他的菊花就要在厕所里哀号♥了
He's gonna find out soon enough. In the bathroom.
我听说...天哪，里面居然有骨头
I heard... Oh, God. There's bone in that.
我听说他在路易斯安那州，得过什么“最佳教师”之类的奖
I heard he won, like, best teacher in the state or something in Louisiana.
彩虹哥...
Hey, Froot Loop! Froot Loop!
不要叫我“彩虹哥”，马奇 干嘛酱？不就是个玉米片嘛，兄弟
You can't call me Froot Loop, Markie. - It's just the name of a cereal.
那你干嘛不叫我“喜悦儿”？
Then why don't you say "Cheerios"?
因为同志跟“喜悦儿”不搭啦
There ain't nothing gay about Cheerios.
听我说，艾文...听我说... -跟你说
Listen. Evan, listen. - What, Markie? What?
你绝对不会相信的，好吗？
You're never gonna believe this, okay?
我的学生们希望我解释“非二元性别”
My students, they want me to explain non-binary.
那这跟我有什么关系？
因为你上台演讲了，你要出运了，兄弟
What does that have to do with me?
见鬼了，我才不要 -拜托
You're gonna give the speech. It's your lucky day.
这是你梦寐以求的耶 -才怪
No, I'm not! - You know you want this.
这可是你的高光时刻啊
No! - This is your hero moment.
别这样嘛，兄弟
Come on, buddy. - Markie...
好运上门了 有人在家啊？
Opportunity knocks. Who's home?
艾文在家吗？ -艾文...拜托啦 -我才不干
Evan's home. Evan, please. - I'm not doing this.
你还会再问我三遍，跟你说...，“不可能”
You're gonna ask me three more times. It's not happening!
好了，各位，听好了，这位是马可仕老师
All right, everyone, listen up. This is Mr. Marquez.
他会来教各位什么是“非二元性别”
He is here to teach you all about non-binary.
他是我们的一位同志特别来宾
He is our very special gay guest.
拍手，大家拍手啊
Clap. Clap for him now, everyone.
关，你怎么会在这？
Clap. - Gwen, what are you doing here?
监督啊，我是来代班的
你没课吗？-没啊
- Supervising. I'm covering. - Don't you have a class?
那干嘛你不来教他们就好？-你才是专家啊
No, no. - Why don't you teach it to them?
我是专家？我不是...
You're the expert. - I'm the expert?
我是二元性别论者啊
I'm not... I'm binary.
啥？-不是你想的那样
What? - Doesn't mean what you think.
学生们要失去耐性了，兄弟 - 好，大家好，
You are losing 'em, dude. - Okay. Hello, class.
我叫马可仕
My name is Mr. Marquez.
如你们所知，我是这所学校的一位老师
I am a teacher here at school that many of you know,
我今天特地前来跟大家聊聊
and I'm here to talk to you today
这个你们已经知道的话题
about a subject that I think you all, like, know about already
因为你们都上过“汤不热”社群
because you're all on Tumblr...
“汤不热”已经挂了 你们都上过网啦
Tumblr is dead. - You're all on the Internet,
上过抖音还有IG 这东西你们都知道，我就不懂
you're on TikTok and Instagram, and you know this stuff,
你们干嘛还需要我来解释
so I don't know why you're asking me to explain it.
一个非二元性别的人，只是一个
But a non-binary person, right, is just somebody
不把自己定义成男生或女生的人
who does not identify as male or female.
噢，你说“阴阳人”啊
Like a hermaphrodite.
不，不全然是 -是的
No, not at all. - Yes.
而且那个字已经没人用了，对吧？
And that word is not in use anymore, is it?
对吗？-我不知道，我...
I... - Is it?
反正就很简单啦，今年的各位老师
I don't know. I... - It's very simple, okay?
我们都得在课堂前，说明自己的性别代名词，对吧？
Your teachers this year, we all had to state our pronouns
我们早知道这个了
before class, right? - We know all this.
那你们干嘛还要我解释？
Then why did you ask me to explain it to you?
你被人陷害了，绝对是
You have been set up, hundred percent.
没错，我们从一开始就在录影了
Yeah, like, we've been recording you this entire time.
知道吗？本来想说你绝对会出包
See, you were supposed to fail at explaining it
因为你嘴超笨的
'cause you're, like, horrible with words.
所以这事很快就会在网络上传开
So that was finna go everywhere online.
天哪
Oh, my God.
他们只是想拍下你，谈论这件事的画面
They just wanted to fucking film you talking about it.
这也太... -这招太邪恶了
That is so... - That is very nefarious.
这样不对吧，麻烦你们不要在你们老师
This isn't right.
他或是我在解释事情时，偷♥拍♥他们
Please don't film your teachers doing things like this, him or me.
我知道他比我更糟，但我不希望这个被上传到网络上
I know he's worse than me, but I don't need this on the Internet.
拜托你们，不要上传到... -我感觉被霸凌了
Please don't put that on... - I feel attacked right now.