萌犬先生（2017）

Really?
杰森怎么说
Wow. What did Jason say?
他完全能理解
Oh, he totally got it.
我们想法一致
We're, like, completely on the same page.
我们就不贴标签地过日子
We're just gonna live life without labels.
简直不能更顺利了 真的
It couldn't have gone better, honestly.
展示窗看起来怎么样 有句子耶
How's the display looking? Whoo! Words!
不不不 等等 我让你看完整的
Oh, no, no, no. Wait. Let me show you the whole thing.
-来这边 -好的
- Come here. - Okay.
我知道这只是第一步
I know this is just a first step,
但我觉得我应该先准备一个演讲
but I feel like I should've, you know, prepared a speech
-或者买♥♥瓶香槟之类的 -我知道
- or gotten champagne or something. - I know.
但生活总是不如计划中那样美好 是吗
But life is always less glamorous than you planned, okay?
好了 闭上眼睛
All right. Close your eyes.
这还很粗糙 但想象下全国店面都装上这些镜子
Okay. It's still rough, but imagine this mirrors all over the country
告诉人们他们有多美
showing people how beautiful they are.
看看你是多么美丽
天啊 珍
Oh, my God, Jenn.
这看起来很真实 就好像
That looks real. Like, this looks like --
就好像...
This is like --
就好像真正的店面一样
It's, like, a real thing that people will see, like,
在购物中心里的那样
in an actual, like, real strip mall, you know.
-我为你感到很骄傲 -你做得很棒
- I'm so proud of you. - You did so good.
这是...就是这个吗
This is -- So, this is it?
那个酷点子吗
The big idea?
对 差不多就这样
Yeah, pretty much.
天啊 我得给你倒杯酒
Oh, my God. I got to get you a drink.
我还要做更多
I'm gonna do more.
你干得太棒了
You did so good!
我无法理解
I don't understand.
我们现在成镜子商店了吗
Are we a mirror store now?
滚开
Get outta here!
一直以来 我都愚蠢地以为
All this time, I've been under this stupid assumption
我必须遵守各种规矩和社会准则
that I'm, like, subject to all these rules and societal norms.
好了 来拍一张和狗狗一起的头像
All right, man. Time for a profile picture with a cute dog.
网上泡妞第一课 知道吗
Internet Dating 101. Okay?
我本来以为有条设置好了的路线
I thought there was a path laid out for me.
-你好 -你好
- 'Sup? - Hey.
南和杰森叫我散步我才能散步
I was supposed to walk when Nan and Jason said,
像个听话的乞求者 有得散步就谢天谢地了
like some passive supplicant thankful for any walk at all,
但我现在明白了
but -- but I see it now.
根本没有路线
There isn't a path.
没有任何界限
There aren't any boundaries.
我想去哪儿就去哪儿
Like, I can go wherever I want.
由我掌控大局
I'm the one in charge.
我不用再听任何人的话了
Like, I'm not listening to anyone ever again.
南和我有过很多次
Nan and I have a history
沟通不当的黑历史
that's pretty rife with miscommunication.
所以今天在她回家前 我得想出一个办法
So, today, before she came home, I knew I needed to find a way
尽量清楚地告诉她
to communicate as clearly as possible
现在开始由我掌控大局 这是我的房♥子
that I was in charge now, to say this is my house.
比如 我现在有开门超能力了 默默接受吧
Like, I have the door power now. Get used to it.
你好呀 伙计
Hey, buddy.
你想进家门就得好声好气求我
If you want to come in, you have to ask.
你还好吗
How you doing?
你喜欢你的新狗门吗
You like your new doggy door, huh?
你想挪开一点吗
You want to maybe move a little bit?
拜托啦
Please?
好吧 我自己挤进来吧
Okay, I'll just, uh, kind of squeeze on through, then.
我能看出她很尴尬
And I could tell she was embarrassed,
但现在有新规矩了 她得适应
but there's a new paradigm here and she's gonna have to adjust.
杰森
Jason!
想得美 但我不会跟你上♥床♥的
Nice try, but I'm not gonna sleep with you,
你可以把鸡鸡收好了
so you can put your penis away!
这感觉很棒 知道我家井然有序
It felt good, like, knowing my house was in order.
我可能有点自大起来了
I guess I was feeling a little bit cocky,
因为我决定去拓展我的领地边界
because I decided to go extend the boundaries of my domain.
你在利用我的狗泡妞吗
Are you using my dog to get dates now?
好吧
Oh, okay.
把电♥话♥还给我
Uh, give me my phone back,
还有 我以为他是我们的狗
and, uh, I-I thought he was our dog.
不 他跟你没关系 好吗 他是我的狗
No, he's not, okay? He's my dog.
他也不是你在网上钓妹子泄欲的诱饵
And he's not sex bait for your pervy Internet cravings.
等一下 你是
Wait. Are you -- Are you, like,
因为我约会而生我的气吗
seriously mad at me for dating?
不 我没生气
No, I'm not mad. Look.
其实我还能帮你
I can be really helpful, actually.
-等一下 不要 -她看起来挺聪明的
- Wait, no! - She seems smart.
南 南 你能把我的手♥机♥还我吗
Nan! Nan, can you give me my phone back?
她是个体老板 回见
She's a CEO at self-employed. See you later.
能把我的手♥机♥还我吗
Can you please give me phone back?
-她还很漂亮 -好了 停下 停下 南
- She's awfully pretty, too. - Okay, stop. Stop it! Nan!
她22岁 还有点哥特风
Oh, she's 22 and a little bit Gothic.
-停下 南 -那正是...
- Stop it! Nan! - That's exactly --
从某种程度上来说 是的
And, in a way, sure, like,
当管事的要面临很多责任
it's a lot of responsibility to be in charge,
要独自决定很多事
to be the dictator, you know, like,
什么时候开什么门
to decide what doors open when,
谁来谁走 谁生谁死
like, who comes and who goes, like, who lives and who dies,
欲戴王冠必承其重
you know, like, heavy lays the crown.
那是什么
What is that?
天啊
Oh, my God!
猫 猫 有只猫进来了
Cat! Cat! There's a cat!
-杰森 -怎么了
- Jason! - What?!
-猫 -什么
- Cat! - What?
该死 不 不 快点
Oh, hell, no. No. Come on.
好了
Okay.
闹够了吧 小东西
That's enough of that, little lady.
好了 没事了
Yeah. You're okay.
我抱着你呢 没事了
I got you. It's okay.
没事了 没事了
It's okay. It's okay. Shh.
我看到南抱起胡娇那一刻
The moment I saw Nan take Pepper into her hands,
我忽然恍然大悟
it's like -- it's like all the scales just fell from my eyes,
我意识到了自己有多蠢
and, like, I saw how stupid I'd been.
这是南
This is Nan.
这可是南啊
Like, this is Nan who, like,
能赤手空拳与恶魔战斗的南
battles with demons with her bare hands.
我怎么会以为我能和她一样呢
Like, how did I think I could be anything like her?
我看到了我是谁 我看清了自己
I-I saw what I was, you know, like, I saw it clearly.
我 我是个傻瓜
I was...I was a fool.
别动 宝贝 我知道
Come on, buddy. I know.
我们得把这都清理干净 好吗
We just got to get it all cleaned, okay?
带着这些伤疤 你看着会高大强悍
You're gonna look so big and tough with all your scars.
是的
Yes, you are.
我们这是在做什么 南
What are we doing here, Nan?
前一秒还很棒
You know, one second it's great.
就像以前那样
It's like the old times.
然后突然间 你就翻脸了
And then all of a sudden, you're flipping,
把我远远推开
pushing me away,
你安装狗门 为了不让我进你家
you're installing dog doors to keep me out of your house...
我安装狗门不是为了不让你进来
I-I didn't install the dog door to keep you out.
偷看我的手♥机♥ 因为我要约会而崩溃
...going through my phone, freaking out that I'm dating.
我安装狗门不是为了不让你进来
I didn't install the door to keep you out.
我安装它是因为我害怕失去你
I installed it 'cause I'm afraid of losing you.
我工作上遇到了一个大好的机会
I have a really big opportunity at work,
我不想因为我们像从前那样抽大♥麻♥
and I don't want to blow it because we're smoking weed
打游戏而搞砸这次机会
and playing video games like we used to.
好吧
Okay.
其实贴标签这件事
Well, I mean, I was sort of playing along,
我只是顺着你的话而已
uh, with the whole label thing.
我觉得我需要标签
I think I need labels.