萌犬先生（2017）

我心想
And I just thought, like,
如果那只奶狗想要龙虾吉米 你猜怎么着
if that puppy wants Lobster Jimmy, you know what?
他就下地狱去吧
He can go to hell.
只是这么刚好
It just so happens that, like, hell is located,
地狱碰巧就在我家底下
very conveniently, right under my house.
进去吧 姑娘们
Go right on through, girls.
-谢谢 -不客气 玩得开心
- Thanks. - You're welcome. Have fun.
♪ ...my apple tree ♪
♪ Slide down my rainbow ♪
♪ Look down my cellar door ♪
♪ And we'll be jolly... ♪
这里就像匹兹堡版的《蓬岛仙舞》
It's like a Pittsburgh "Brigadoon.
他那么想要那只龙虾
I mean, he wanted that lobster so bad,
也许 也许他是自己追下去的
maybe -- maybe he was chasing it.
也许他就是这样摔下去的 因为他贪婪
Like, maybe that's how he fell, like, because of his greed.
重点是 从大局来看
The important thing -- like, the big picture --
他已经在下面了
is that he's down there now,
他也上不来
and he can't get back up,
所以我终于可以补睡那个觉了
And I can finally get that nap.
♪ In Heaven, there is no beer ♪
♪ That's why we drink it here ♪
♪ And when you're... ♪
这个才五美金
This cost $5.
整个一大扎
The entire pitcher.
谢天谢地 我都快醒酒了
Oh, thank God. I was almost getting sober.
女士们先生们 不说废话了
And now, ladies and gentlemen, no further ado.
接下来有请 大家最喜爱的
Here she is, your favorite --
我们的DJ迪瓦恩
our very own DeeJay Devine!
♪ Some of these days ♪
♪ You're gonna miss me, honey ♪
♪ Some of these days ♪
♪ You're gonna be so lonely ♪
♪ You'll miss my huggin' ♪
♪ You'll miss my kisses ♪
这女的是我的新偶像
This woman is my new everything.
我想知道她是不是还跟人约会
I wonder if she's dating.
♪ When I'm far away ♪
♪ I feel so lonely ♪
咱们跳舞吧
Let's dance.
♪ For you only ♪
♪ 'Cause you know, honey ♪
♪ You always had your way ♪
♪ And when you leave me ♪
♪ You know it's gonna grieve me ♪
♪ You're gonna miss your big, fat mama ♪
♪ Your mama ♪
♪ Some of these daaaaaaaays ♪
我的狗生中学会的
One of the most important lessons
最重要的事情之一
that I've learned in life
就是永远都不要放弃你的目标
is to never, ever give up on your goals,
哪怕你面临的困难
even if your obstacle happens to be, like, you know, like,
恰好是一只柔软的小奶狗
a tiny, fluffy, little puppy.
就像这样的
Like, that -- and -- that --
而且能够灵活处事真的非常好
And it's really good to be flexible,
因为 当然
because, like, sure, like,
今天虽然不理想 但也算不上无药可救
today's not ideal, but it's salvageable.
睡个好觉的真正要义是转圈圈
Like, the real key to a great nap is the circling.
比如 开始的时候
Like -- Like, at the beginning,
就我自己而言 我喜欢转五圈半
I, personally, like to circle, like, 5 1/2 times
然后
and then --
关键是五圈半
The key is the 5 1/2 --
如果月光好的话六又四分之一圈也行
maybe 6 1/4 if the moon's right.
你好 抱歉打搅
Hi. Sorry, we just --
我们就是想过来说声「谢谢」 你太棒了
we wanted to say "Thank you" and, um, you're amazing.
你们这么说真是太客气了
Well, you're very sweet.
说实话 你真是太鼓舞人心了
Yeah, you are -- honestly, you're an inspiration.
我这么跟你们说吧 亲爱的
Let me tell you something, honey.
我直到七十九岁才开始唱歌♥
I didn't start singing until I was 79.
你们知道为什么吗
You know why?
我总是忙着为自己感到遗憾
I was too busy feeling sorry for myself.
比如我先生去世了
That and my husband died.
遇见他是我人生中最美好的事情了
Best thing ever happened to me.
好吧
Okay.
我八十六岁了
I'm 86 years old,
充分享受着自己的人生
and I'm having the time of my life.
你可以说「你把小奶狗
You could say, "Oh, you just pushed a little puppy
顺着楼梯推了下去
down a flight of stairs
推到了他所见过的最黑的地方」
into the darkest place that has ever existed."
是的 严格来说 你说得对
Yeah, like, you would be technically right about that.
但是 你会忘记
But, like, what you'd be forgetting
接下来发生的事情
is what happened next.
这只是故事的第一部分而已
That's only the first part of the story.
而故事的第二部分
But the second part of the story --
才是重要的章节 今天我成了一名英雄
like, the important part -- is that today, I became a hero,
因为我选择直面自己对于变老的恐惧
because I chose to confront my fear of aging
直面对于自己死亡的越来越大的必然性
and I confronted the gathering inevitability of my own death.
我甚至直面了自己对地下室的恐惧
I even confronted my fear of that basement,
并且救了那只又傻又蠢
and I saved that stupid, stupid,
可爱至极 超级迷人的小奶狗
incredibly cute, super-adorable, little puppy.
就像是我们骑着自行车 而且看起来
Like, we're riding a bike and looking like --
特别性感
Like, real sexy.
我们当时太傻了
We were idiots.
他们一点都不感兴趣
They were not interested in the slightest.
咱俩的狗都跑哪去了
Where are our dogs?
宝贝们
Puppies?
马丁 你在照顾小奶狗吗
Martin? You taking care of that puppy?
我记得我做的这个梦
I remember this dream I had.
那有堆成高山般的玩具
There was, like, a giant mountain of toys.
好像这个世界上有史以来的
And it was, like, all the toys that have ever existed, like,
所有的玩具都在那里了
in the history of the world were, like, piled up
堆起来 高耸入云
and, like -- like -- like, stretched up to the sky.
我又激动又兴奋
And I was, like -- I was, like, so excited and overjoyed.
然后 朝它狂奔过去
And, like -- and then, like, I ran to it.
但是当我到那里的时候 我看到在山脚下
But when I got there, I saw at the base of the mountain,
单独有一小堆玩具
there was this other, separate, little, tiny pile of toys.
我走上前去看了看 我认出了其中的一些
And I looked closer, and I saw that I recognized some of them.
它们是我以前的玩具
They were toys that I'd had before.
然后我又看到了玩具堆里
And then I saw a couple others in the pile
还有一些我没见过的新玩具
that were, like, new toys -- like, toys I hadn't seen.
然后 我突然想明白了 「天啊
And then it just, like, struck me -- "Oh, my God.
「这些是我会玩到的所有的玩具」
These are all the toys I will ever play with."
我所要经历的一切
Like, all I will ever experience
不过是这世上的极其微小的一部分
is, like, a tiny, tiny fraction of what exists.
这个想法让我失去了勇气
The thought just paralyzed me.
你对那种因为给未婚妻买♥♥了条小奶狗
What do you think it says about a person
继而分手的人是怎么看的
if they leave their fiancé for buying them a puppy?
我不知道
Oh, I don't know.
我觉得可能
I think it says that...
我们都是不成熟的成年人
we're all just baby adults
我们自己都不知道自己的人生是怎么回事
and we have no idea what we're doing with life.
说到不成熟的成年人 杰森不让我告诉你
Oh, speaking of baby adults, Jason told me not to tell you,
但是他报名社区大学了
but he just enrolled in community college.
这确实挺意外的
That's really surprising.
他虽然没说 但是我真心觉得
He didn't say this, but I do feel like
他的决定跟你有很大关系
it's got a lot to do with you.
我告诉过你我三年没见过我爸了吗
Did I tell you I haven't seen my dad in three years?
不 你没说过
No, you didn't.
我觉得
I think...
也许对你来说 是时候不要再逃避
maybe it's time for you to stop running away
跟丹来一场成年人之间的谈话了
from that grown-up conversation with Dan.
而且对我来说 也是时候不要再逃避
And I think maybe it's time for me to stop running away
那张愚蠢的DVD了
from this stupid DVD.
我三十一岁了
I'm 31 years old.
是时候不要再为自己而遗憾了
It's time to stop feeling sorry for myself.
现在 地下室故事之后
But now, after the basement,
我对事物的看法有了一些转变
I kind of think about things differently.
因为 当然 在某种意义上
Because, sure, in some ways,
我的经历绝不会那么重要
my experiences must not matter, like -- like, that much.
我只有一小撮玩具
I've only got a handful of toys
而且 我也只有几年的时间
and, like -- like, yeah, like, only a handful of years.
内莉呢
How about Nellie?
埃伦 对着镜头问个好 来 笑一个