萌犬先生（2017）

Yeah, I normally am.
我一直不太赞成南找男朋友
I was never the biggest fan of Nan having a boyfriend,
因此当我们决定
so when we decided to kind of,
甩掉杰森什么的
you know, ditch Jason or whatever,
我很高兴 她是我一条狗的了
like, I was pretty excited to just have her to myself.
最开始 感觉很棒 我个狗而言
And at first, it was awesome, like, for me personally.
感觉真的很棒
It was... it was great.
但是今晚 是我始料未及的
But tonight, like, it just took me off guard.
周五是我们约定好的一起喝酒哭诉的日子
She's just been so good about coming home on Fridays
她一直都没有爽约过
for our, like, scheduled cry-into-the-wine time.
而且这件事对我来说越来越重要
And I guess that kind of started to mean a lot to me.
我知道南并不是有意的
I know Nan didn't mean to be bad.
我理解她 但我认为划清界限对我来说
Like -- Like, I get it, but I think it's important
还是很有必要的
for me to draw, a clear line in the sand.
就像一个处支配地位的伙伴
Like, as the dominant partner,
对她说 你不能越过这条线
you know, to say, "Here's a line you can't cross."
拜拜
Bye!
祝你的音乐事业顺利
Good luck with your music!
上楼梯
Go upstairs.
马丁
Martin?
我就给他打一小会电♥话♥
I'm gonna call him real quick.
但你不用担心
But it's fine.
喂 杰森
Hey, Jason.
我给你打电♥话♥就是想让你
I just wanted to call and tell you
过来取走你的破摩托车
to come and get your stupid motorcycle.
而且 我一点都不想你
And also, I don't even miss you,
因为我并没有那么孤单
'cause I'm not even very lonely.
就这样
So...
我爱你 拜
I love you. Bye.
完蛋了
Oopsie.
我再试一次
I'll try again.
其实我并不爱你 明白吗
Actually, I don't love you, 'kay?
好了 爱你 拜
Okay. Love you. Bye.
你干了什么
What did you do?
你是个坏狗狗 知道吗
Bad! You understand?
这样不好
That's not good!
你不应该这样的
Not a good choice!
挺艰难的 为什么呢
It's hard, because, like,
她有时会说
she can be like,
叽里呱啦 叽里呱啦 坏狗狗
"Blah, blah, blah, bad dog,
叽里呱啦 叽里呱啦 她想要的
blah, blah, blah," All she wants,
而且我心中也有点想要的是
and a part of me wants to be just like,
糟蹋一只鞋就叫坏吗
"You think a shoe was bad?
我都想毁掉所有你爱的东西
Like, I will destroy everything that you love.
我要把你的世界撕成碎片
I will tear your world to pieces."
布莱斯犬类学院
叫什么名字
What's the name?
抱歉 大家好 我叫南
Oh, sorry. Hi. I'm Nan.
我是说狗 狗叫什么名字
No -- the dog. What's the dog's name?
它叫马丁
Okay. Uh, this is Martin.
上前面来
Come on up.
过来吧
Come on.
好的 他
Okay. So, he,
他突然间开始咬我的
He just decided to chew up a bunch of my --
坐下 马丁
Sit, Martin.
他 他坐下了
He -- He sat.
他突然开始咬我的鞋
He decided to chew up a bunch of my shoes,
所以我上网搜了一下
so I just Googled --
-南 南 -哦
- Nan. Nan. - Oh.
我先打住一下
I'm gonna stop you right there.
有人能告诉我哪里出问题了吗
Can anybody tell me what's going on here?
也许她的注意力都集中在狗身上
Maybe she's so focused on her dog
以至于她都没意识到是自身的功能障碍
that she can't even see how her own dysfunction
才造成现在的局面
is affecting the situation.
呵呵
Okay.
说的没错
Yes.
谢谢你
Thank you.
南 马丁今天带你来这干嘛
Nan, why has Martin brought you here today?
我猜大概是
I guess I...haven't
最近我没怎么关心他 所以
been paying him enough attention lately, so...
为什么呢
Why is that?
不知道 谁不得出去工作啊
I don't know. Am I the only one here who has a job?
大家都理解吧
Am I right?
分离焦虑 清单
跟狗狗分开的时间不能超过15分钟
"Do not leave your dog for more than 15 minutes."
疯了吧
People are crazy.
周日快乐 南
Happy Sunday, Nan!
你的法国裸女项目怎么样了
How's your French-nudie project going?
还没开始呢
I haven't even started it.
我整个周末都在忙活我的狗
I've been dealing with my dog all weekend.
我一会给你打回去 好吗
Listen, I got to call you back, okay?
好的 再见
All right. Bye.
我不知道你要来
I didn't know you were coming.
我接到你的电♥话♥了
Yeah, I got your phone call.
关于我的摩托车
About my motorcycle...
以及你有多幸福 一点都不孤单
...and how happy and unlonely you are.
是的 是的
Yeah. Yeah.
我记得
I remember.
你今天打算做什么
Actually, what are you doing today?
没什么打算
Nothing.
快来 跟上
Come on! Come on!
准备好了吗
You ready?
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我们需要好好练习这个
We need to work on this.
干得漂亮 谁是大乖乖
There you go. Who's a good boy?
有些事情很有趣 比如 生活如何进行
It's funny, like, how life works,
因为突然之间
because all of a sudden, Nan's making, you know,
南在伴侣治疗方面进步很大
like, really good progress in couples therapy and...
再比如 作为同行 杰森永远都不会是
Yeah, like, Jason's never been somebody
让我深切尊重的那种人 但是...
who I really deeply respected, like, as a peer, but...
准备好了吗 好了吗
You ready? Ready?
我也不知道
I don't know, like...
事情在朝好的方向发展
...things are moving in a positive direction.
我感觉好像
I feel like maybe
整个宇宙都在说「你知道吗
this is the universe saying, like, "Hey, you know what?
你的生活回到了正轨」
Like, you're on the right track."
你好 凯文
Hi. Hey, Kevin.
南
Nan.
这个 其实 挺酷的
This is...actually... kind of dope.
是的
Yeah, uh, you know,
我想弄一些
I wanted to do something with, um...
法语单词
French words, right? Yeah.
自然法则
而且 再加一些裸女
But also some -- some nudity.
-对 -是的
- Yeah. - Yes.
-我想到的 -我的天啊
- I thought of it. - Oh, my God.
-我当时... -听着
- I was like... - Hey.
我想要告诉你一件事情
I want to throw something at you here,
我希望你不要太激动
and I don't want you to go into one of your tizzies,
你知道崔斯坦是谁吧
but you know who Tristen is, right?
崔斯坦 就是那个纽约时尚大♥师♥
Tristen -- Like, head-of-design New York fashion-guru Tristen?
当然了
Yeah, yeah!
他周一要来这
He's gonna be here Monday,
而且
and...
我觉得他会喜欢这个的
I think he'd like this.
你准备好了吗
Like, are you ready?
对不起
Hey, uh, sorry.
我没 我不知道你已经到家了
I didn't, uh -- I didn't know you were gonna be back already.
是的 我有点赶时间
Yeah. I was just kind of finishing up.
「自然法则」
"Au Naturale."
这太难以置信了
This is incredible.
谢谢
Thanks.
我也不知道