宕机异次元（2017）

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在网络世界的黑暗深处
From the darkest depths of cyberspace,
还有另一个世界
there is another world.
一个错乱次元 这里奇事频发
A lost dimension, home to wonders unseen,
异象百出
terrors unspeakable.
这些故事你闻所未闻
Stories unlike any ever told until now.
不要退出
Do not click Back.
不要刷新
Do not reload.
我们已重新连接到...
We have reconnected to...
错乱次元
第一季 第一集
错乱次元
Dimension 404.
你是做什么的
So, what do you do?
你是做什么的
What do you do?
我运营一个音乐博客
I kinda run this music blog.
你是哪的人
And where are you from?
我老家是缅因州的
Well, originally I'm from Maine.
你现在住在哪
And where do you live now?
就在这 布鲁克林
Right here, in Brooklyn.
你是做什么的
So, what do you do?
我不喜欢谈论工作
I don't like to talk about work.
听着 我也不喜欢这一套
Look, I hate these things, too.
我觉得屋子里的每个人都能看出来
You know, I feel like everyone in the room
我们是第一次约会
can tell that we're on a first date.
根本没人在意
No one's paying attention.
如果你变成一种动物
So, if you could be any animal,
你会变成什么
what animal would you be?
咱俩没什么可聊的 是吧
This isn't going very well, is it?
没错 已经结束了
Yeah, no, this is over.
你可以走了
You can go.
祝你好运
Good luck out there.
有些邂逅能持续一辈子
Some romances last a lifetime,
但大部分却熬不过一杯咖啡
but most don't make it past the first cup of coffee.
不过 不用为我们的单身亚当难过
Still, don't feel too bad for our lonely lovebird Adam.
拿铁咖啡 3.49元
总计 4.04元
多亏了神奇的二进制数字
Thanks to the magic of ones and zeroes,
他即将遇见他的真命天女
he's about to meet his one and only.
她叫阿曼达
Her name's Amanda.
她喜欢精酿啤酒 高雅音乐
She likes craft beer, good music,
住在错落次元
and she lives on the Lower East Side
404错误
曼哈顿的下东区
of Dimension 404.
正式宣布
Well, it's official.
我要孤独终老了
I'm gonna die alone.
什么
What?
别这么说
Don't say that.
克雷格 我找了 调情了
Greg, I've looked, flirted,
和半数的布鲁克林女生相了亲
and met-cute half of the women in Brooklyn,
我真开始怀疑
and I'm honestly starting to think
我的知己并不存在了
that my soul mate doesn't exist.
她是个谜 像"大脚怪"一样
You know, she's like a myth, like Bigfoot.
兄弟 她存在的 就在外面
Dude, she exists, she's out there.
就像"大脚怪"一样
Just like Bigfoot.
-我得来罐啤酒 -你没酒了
- I need a beer. - You're out of beer.
听着 你得开拓眼界
Look, man, you just gotta broaden your horizons.
别在街上捞一个就相亲了
Stop meeting weird randos on the street
在网上试试吧
and start meeting them online.
网上相亲
Online, online dating?
-对 -才不要
- Yeah. - No!
我才不想让什么算法告诉我
Look, I don't want some algorithm telling me
该和谁约会呢
who to hook up with, all right?
我只想找个可爱的女孩
I just want to meet a cute girl, you know,
有几缕挑染的红发
with a cute little red streak in her hair
小鸟形状的文身
and a tattoo of a bird
跟我一起拿"特写乐队"的黑胶唱片
while we're both reaching for the same Talking Heads LP.
这间公♥寓♥两英里的范围内有413位
There are 413 eligible women that are Talking Heads fans
符合条件的女性都是他们的粉丝
within a two-mile radius of this apartment.
等等 真的 这是什么
Wait, really; what is that?
"佳缘速配" 兄弟 人人都在用
Make-A-Match, bro, everybody's on it.
你怎么也在用 你不是在和沙琳约会吗
Why are you on it, aren't you with Charlene?
我没用 是你
I'm not on it, you are.
-我帮你发了简介 -什么时候
- I made you a profile. - What, when?
昨晚我喝光你啤酒的时候
Last night when I drank all your beer.
-克雷格 -拜托
- Greg! - Come on, man.
看看这些妹子
Look at all of these women.
你也没什么损失啊
What do you have to lose?
好吧
All right, fine.
但别再喝光我的啤酒了
But seriouly, stop drinking all my beer.
这可说不准
No promises.
我买♥♥不起 你能 所以我要喝
I can't afford it, you can, so I drink it.
我们在"佳缘速配"上认识的
We met on Make-A-Match.
"佳缘速配"让我找到了
Make-A-Match helped me find exactly
我苦苦等候的人生伴侣
what I've been looking for all my life.
他们的性格资料确实比其他网站
Their personality profile truly reached deeper
更加精确
than the other sites.
太神奇了 我不知道他们怎么做到的
It's magic, I don't know how they do it.
"佳缘速配"相信
At Make-A-Match, we believe
每个人都有命中注定的伴侣
there's someone out there for everyone.
马修·马克尔博士
佳缘速配公♥司♥总裁
即刻注册吧 我们保证为你找到完美匹配的
Sign up today and we'll find your 100 percent perfect match
伴侣
guaranteed.
欢迎来到爱的港湾
Welcome to love.
欢迎使用"佳缘速配"
Welcome to Make-A-Match.
找到你的完美伴侣
正在搜索配对
正在搜索配对
配对成功
阿曼达
匹配度100%
阿曼达
Amanda.
她是个医学生 喜欢出去聚会
She's a med student, she likes hanging out.
阿曼达 25岁
她挺可爱的
I mean, she's cute.
最喜欢的乐队 小精灵乐队
Favorite band: The Pixies.
你们有理由认识一下了
That's a start.
对 不过...
Yeah, but still, I mean...
这是跟我百分之百匹配的人
this is my 100 percent match?
她的小鸟文身呢
Where's her bird tattoo?
天啊 她朝你"眨眼"了
Oh, my God, she winked you.
-她什么 -她打量了你一下
- She what? - She checked you out
她喜欢她看见的这个人
and she likes what she sees.
快请她约会吧
Just ask her out already.
天啊 这真是太奇怪了
God, you know, this... this... this is too weird.
我做不到 我不干 不行
I can't do it, I'm out, no.
哥们 你一定要和这个妹子约会
Dude, you are going on a date with this girl
哪怕得用安定药把你迷晕了
if I have to pump you full of benzodiazepine
我也要把你拖过去
and drag you there myself.
好吧 但只是因为我实在是太寂寞了
Fine, but only because I am desperately lonely.
这就对了
That's the spirit!
阿曼达
Hi, Amanda?
亚当
Adam, hi.
我给我们俩买♥♥了车把啤酒 可以吗
I got us two Handlebars, is that okay?
好啊 其实那是我
Yeah, uh, actually, that's my...
最喜欢的啤酒
that's my favorite beer.
我也是
Mine, too.
不好意思 你是不是
I'm sorry, did, uh,
换发型了
did you change hair?
对啊 抱歉 我刚染过
Oh, yeah, I, uh, sorry, I just dyed it.
我应该更新我的...
I guess I should've updated my...
不 没关系的
No, no, it's... it's okay.
我喜欢
I-I like it.