呆逼还愿人（2014）

Deadbeat S02E01

Part 4 April 16, 2021, 3:07 p.m.

我们两点半约会呗?
How's 2:30?
"好的呀小苏"
"Oh, sure, Sue,"
我绝对可以帮你和你那迷人的
I'll totally help you reconnect
前男友复合复合滴
with your dreamy ex-boyfriend.
"这主意太棒了"
"That's a good idea."
煞♥笔♥!
Idiot!
这家伙让我看起来像猪小姐
Guy makes me look like Miss Piggy.
拜托!
Come on!
别现在打不着啊
Not now.
哦拜托不敢相信
Oh, come on, unbelievable.
那一会是什么节目下雨吗?
What's next, rain?
好吧今天至少有一件
Well, at least one lucky thing
幸运的事了
happened today.
看看看
Well, well, well,
这不是我最喜欢的
if it isn't my favorite
偶尔合作伙伴派克刘咕噜先生嘛
sometime collaborator, Mr. Pacalioglu.
- 神马? - 哦
- What? - Oh.
让我帮帮你
Let me help you here.
听着我知道我们过去
Listen, I know we've had our differences
意见不合
in the past, you and I.
是啊你抢了我的工作
Yeah, you stole my job,
你在纽约的发布会上
you humiliated me in front of
羞辱了我而且你让我在
the New York press, and you made me
市长面前看起来像个傻叉!
look like a dickhead in front of the mayor!
正如我刚刚所说的我们
Like I said, we've had
有一些意见不合
our differences.
但是那都是往事如烟了不是吗?
But all that is in the past now, isn't it?
- 这样吗? - 我现在的
- Is it? - I've got my own
真人秀节目如日中天
reality TV show in the works
我想给你个职位
and I'd like to offer you a job.
- 一个职位? - 没错
- A job? - Mm-hm.
有什么好笑的吗?
Something humorous about that?
什么? 不不对不起
What? No, no, I'm sorry,
我是想到了以前的
I was thinking about something funny
好笑的事
from earlier.
那么你愿意接受这个工作?
So you'll take the job?
你觉得这世上
What in the world do you think
有什么你能给我
you have to offer me that could make me
让我来给你工作呢?
want to work for you ever?
我能想到一二
I can think of a few things.
对比起白女士但是你的...
I'm sorry, Ms. White, but your...
那些魅力已经无法驾驭我了
charms no longer hold sway over me.
在你裤子里的小东西
Something in your pants
貌似站起来说不同意哟
suggests the contrary.
哦他啊?
Oh, that?
我只是在想我之前想到的
I was thinking about something sexy
性感的事情
from earlier.
我得走了我得走了
I gotta go, I gotta go.
于是你就跑路了？
So, what, you just ran?
我跑路了
I just ran.
我来了个愤怒的慢跑
I did like a full bum out, boner jog
但是是那种"嗖"一下就跑没影儿了的那种
but it was like "pew" down the street.
超快的快成闪电
Fast. Tuck and duck.
是啊她在后面吃灰尘
Yeah, she was in my boner dust.
我为你骄傲啊老兄
I'm proud of you, man.
你学会克制了了不起
You practiced some restraint, that's dope.
你知道也许这也意味着
You know, and maybe this means
我终于不喜欢白菊花了
I'm finally over Camomile White
或者在最后的那个时刻
or at the very least,
我撒了一个完美的谎来告诉自己
I've gotten really good at lying to myself
我已经不再喜欢她了
about being over her.
所以啊我怎么样都拽
So, either way.
哟说到说谎你和你的
Yo, speaking of lies, how's it going
灵魂小妹怎么样了?
with your little ghost boo?
呃...
Uh...
那灵魂小妹啊我恐怕
The ghost boo, lies situation
我谎撒的不怎么样啊
is not going very well, I fear.
现在我被要求去帮助她
I am now being asked to help her
与她的前男友做个了结
get closure with her ex-boyfriend.
那么就有点骨气
So, man up.
帮她了结了啊派克
Help her get closure, Pac.
我知道只是
I know, it's just that
没有什么可以去了结的
there's not any real closure to be had.
而且他们俩聊的越多
And now the more that these two talk
她对他的爱就
to each other, the deeper she falls
越来越深
under his nice guy spell.
等等你听见你说的话了吗?
Time out, you listening to what you're saying?
你说他们聊的越多对吧?
You're saying the more they talk, right?
那么这局面是你控制的
Like, you the one running the show.
你是唯一那个能听见灵魂说话的人
You the only one that can hear.
除非那个人能
Unless this guy develop
有天赋听到灵魂
a talent for hearing ghosts,
那么至少我觉得
then as far as I see it
你就搞的定啦宝贝
you good, baby.
因为他肯定不能啊肯定不会听到的
'Cause he's not, he's not gonna.
做个了结对吧?
Closure, you know?
好的我懂了
Okay, I got it.
不没事我搞的定的
No, no, I got it.
这感觉很独特啊
That felt exotic.
什么? 格伦
What? Glen.
你死啦? 搞什么鬼啊这是?
You died? What the hell, man?
绝对疯狂的事
Craziest thing.
我去厕所
I go into the bathroom
打算蹲个坑
to take a bowel movement,
地上一大滩水让我滑倒了
I slip on a huge puddle of water,
我的头被撞开了
crack my head wide open.
是啊一定是最后一次洗澡之前
Yeah, I guess I forgot to tuck
忘记把浴帘
the liner into the tub
放到浴缸内侧
before my last shower.
是啊
Yeah, yeah.
但是你看往好的一面想
But hey, on the bright side,
现在我可以直接和小苏讲话了
now I can talk to Sue without a translator.
看起来我们都能在没有你的
Looks like we can make that date
帮助下赴约啦
work without you.
哦好极了对大家都有好处
Oh good, everybody wins.
除了佐拉以外啦
Everyone except Zoila.
不好意思哪位?
I'm sorry, who?
我的危地马拉保洁小妹
My Guatemalan cleaning lady.
哦对啊
Oh, yeah.
我这辈子最后悔的
Not being able to
就是无法给她
give her that green card will be
那张绿卡
the biggest regret of my life.
唯一一件我未了的心愿
The one thing I left unfinished.
但是又有什么办法呢?
But what are you gonna do?
我不知道
I don't know.
好吧也没办法我去
All right, well, I'm off
赴约啦
to my date.
所以你要我跟踪这个人?
So you want me to tail this guy?
因为我特么没法亲自去跟踪啊对吧?
Well, I can't bloody do it, can I?
他认识我
He knows me.
我可是个知名的电视剧演员啊
I'm a famous television actor.
是啊
Yes.
一个知名的聪明的
A famous, brilliant
电视剧演员
television actor
扮演着侦探的角色
who plays a detective.
一个勇猛的聪明的侦探
A strong, smart detective,
一定会抓到他要抓的男人
who always gets his man.
或者女人对不起
Or woman. Sorry.
我是说我们得
I mean, we just,
我们在这个剧里十分小心地
we are very careful on the show